The First National Tune-Out Neutral, Low-Value, And No-Value Black Men Week
As I moderate the comments submitted here and read other Black women’s blogs, I see that many of you have not started to tune out people, places, and things that contribute nothing to your life. Specifically, you haven’t learned how to tune out neutral, low-, and no-value African-American males. Most of you continue to pay avid attention to what such men are saying and doing.
Even worse, many of you try to deposit toxic Black men’s verbal poison at the Black women’s blogs that you visit. Over and again, attentive blog hosts have had to edit out the links that you leave leading back to toxic Black men’s blogs. Blogs where the Black male blog host is either: (1) gaslighting Black women (telling African-American women that they aren’t seeing what they see or hearing what they hear in real life), or (2) trying to further break Black women’s spirits. I don’t understand why you persist in visiting such blogs. I really don’t understand why you persist in trying to spread that particular poison to other Black women.
I only pay close attention to the people, places, ideas or things that add positive value to my life. I don’t pay attention to the destructive people that want to subtract from my life. I also don’t pay much attention to the neutral people who aren’t doing anything for me. The time you spend talking to, listening to, or reading the views of neutral, low-value, and no-value African-American men is unhealthy. That time would be better spent on people, places, ideas, and things that actively enhance your life.
THIS INCLUDES NEUTRAL, NONCONTRIBUTING BLACK MEN
So, in the spirit of the annual national Turn Off The TV Week, I’m asking you to tune out neutral, low-value, and no-value Black men this week. I don’t just mean the toxic or damaged Black men. I’m talking about tuning out ALL Black men who aren’t contributing something of value to your life. This includes the neutral Black men who aren’t doing anything against you, but they’re also not doing anything for you.
These neutral Black men are not checking for you. Why are you always checking for them? Your habit of paying attention to these noncontributing, neutral Black men is blocking many of you from paying attention to the non-Black men in your environment that could (and would) benefit you. Halima, blog host of Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle, has done a recent post containing a link about this behavior pattern.
I want more African-American women to realize how this is completely out of touch with normal female behavior. The overall, timeless human pattern is that normal women respond only to the extent that a man looks and acts fit, willing, and able to be of some benefit to her. There’s a word for women who grin and skin at indifferent-acting, neutral men: GROUPIES.
Most of you already know how to tune out noncontributing women. But you continue checking for, and responding to, noncontributing Black men.
I understand that many of you have been conditioned to always hop and skip toward, pay attention to, and respond to any and all Black men that come your way. Regardless of these men’s indifferent (or even negative) behavior toward you. I’m asking you to take the first step to breaking the habit this week. I’m asking you to take back your peace of mind. This week I’m asking you to tune-out the Black men who contribute nothing of value to your life:
Don’t talk to noncontributing Black men this week. If you’re in a work or similar setting where it would create problems not to respond to a noncontributing Black male, keep your responses as brief as possible.
If for some reason, you must (briefly) interact with a noncontributing Black man this week, don’t look into his eyes. Instead, look at a point near the top of his forehead. The eyes are a window into the soul. Looking into someone’s eyes draws you further into the interaction.
Don’t read noncontributing Black men’s blogs this week.
Don’t read news reports about noncontributing Black men this week.
Don’t talk about the thoughts, views, or activities of noncontributing Black men this week.
Tuning out useless people helps give us time to think, read, create, and do the healthier things we never have time for. Tuning out such individuals reduces the stress in our lives. It creates room in our lives for better people, places, ideas and things.
For the first few days this week, I’m going to close the comments to this post. I want you to try this experience and then report on how you feel after a couple of days. I know how much better I felt once I started making a point of tuning out noncontributing people. Noncontributing people are time-wasters and energy drains.
Tagged as: low-negativity diet