Since You Keep Your Black Daughters Living As Unprotected Prey In Black Neighborhoods, You Should At Least Train Them In Parkour And Free Running

Here’s a video of an 11-year old girl from Spain doing parkour. [Thankfully, she has the sense to have a spotter present to catch her when she has trouble with some of her acrobatics.]

FUNCTIONAL FITNESS AND PARKOUR-TYPE SKILLS COULD HELP SAVE YOUR DAUGHTER’S LIFE

There are practical considerations about parkour and free running skills.

If you still have your little girl living in a Black residential area:

  • which means she’s living among the LEGIONS of African-American male pedophiles and gang rapists that live in Black residential areas

then she needs to be fit and skilled enough to run fast, and vault over fences, park benches, and other physical objects (like the Spanish girl in the video).

“RWANDA” HAS ALREADY ARRIVED AMONG THOSE AFRICAN-AMERICANS WHO PERSIST IN LIVING IN BLACK RESIDENTIAL AREAS

Years ago before I had my own blog, I started warning African-American women to run for their lives and flee Black residential areas in the US. Almost four years ago, as a commenter on another blog, I said that we are 1.5 steps away from Rwanda. “Rwanda” has arrived among those African-Americans who persist in living in Black residential areas.

Despite the bad-faith denial and lies spoken by the “things aren’t so bad that we need to evacuate Black neighborhoods” type of African-Americans, the pandemic of sexual molestation, rape, and gang rape among African-Americans continues to ravage increasing numbers of victims:

AT THIS POINT, ONLY NEGLIGENT PARENTS CONDEMN THEIR DAUGHTERS TO THE GREATLY ENHANCED RISK OF GANG RAPE CREATED BY LIVING IN BLACK RESIDENTIAL AREAS

At this point, it’s obvious there will be an ever-increasing number of atrocities inflicted on the (mostly Black) women and girls who live or pass through Black residential areas. And since this is obvious, any Black parent who keeps their daughter living within African-American Rwanda zones is a negligent parent.

SINCE YOU’VE GOT YOUR BLACK DAUGHTER LIVING AS UNPROTECTED PREY AMONG BLACK MALE MONSTERS, THEN SHE AT LEAST NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO RUN LIKE MOST PREY

If you’re one of these negligent Black parents who insist upon keeping your baby girl living among the savage Black male brutes—who run wild in Black residential areas—and their equally depraved Black female enablers, then at minimum you need to make sure she’s fit. Fit and skilled enough to run fast and vault over objects like the Spanish girl in the video.

If you’re still living in a Black residential area, then you also need to get fit enough to run for your life. You also need to drop whatever Oppositional Defiant Disorder-based attitude you might have about the police. After all, White Male-Dominated Law Enforcement Is The Only Thing Standing Between You And Mass Rape In Black Neighborhoods. The life you save by dropping this knee-jerk, anti-police attitude might be your own.

ADDENDUM #1: NO EMPTY VENTING OR HANDWRINGING DURING THIS CONVERSATION

Let’s stay on point with this conversation. I’m talking about:

Functional fitness training in parkour and free running skills that could help unprotected Black girls (and women) living in Black residential areas get away from the first Black male rapist. It appears that what happens in a number of these situations is that the first Black male monster catches and traps the girl, and then that Black male monster starts phoning his Black male monster-friends to come join him in raping the girl.

If the girl can avoid being physically caught by the first Black male monster, then perhaps she’ll be able to avoid being raped and gang raped.

The sheer negligence of those African-American parents who keep their daughters living in Black male-gang-rapist-infested Black residential areas. At this point, nobody can honestly “play the nut role” and fail to know that large numbers of African-American males are inclined to engage in rape and gang rape. Or that large numbers of African-American female zombies will support Black male rapists and gang rapists.

I’m not interested in the empty, meaningless handwringing that is the typical response to these atrocities. We already know that the masses of African-American adults are not going to lift a finger to protect Black girls who are trapped living within Black residential areas.

Since these Black girls WON’T be protected by the Black adults around them, then it would be helpful for these girls to be trained how to run and vault over objects. Maybe that sort of training could be added to their Girl Scout, church-based, and (zombie) “community”-based, programs. So the helpless, defenseless girls can increase their odds of being able to escape the large numbers of Black male monsters in Black residential areas who will try to rape them.

ADDENDUM #2

There’s no one technique or method that would apply to any and all scenarios.

My issue is that African-Americans almost never discuss practical ideas about these scenarios. Either we go into lengthy discussions about various sociological and ideological constructs. Or we do some empty venting about how horrible the Black male monsters are. Or we do some empty handwringing.

I’m trying to foster a conversation about some PRACTICAL ideas that sane African-Americans can present to the “orphaned” Black girls in their orbit. Orphaned for all practical purposes because there are NO adults in their families who are acting responsibly to protect them.

In terms of the parkour, I’m also thinking of the ability to vault over chairs and tables to run out of a room that one finds oneself trapped in. I’m thinking about the ability to run away effectively in general.

Since we know Black girls are NOT going to be protected, what sorts of training or ideas can we—as sane African-American adults—present to the orphaned Black girls in our orbit?

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137 Responses to “Since You Keep Your Black Daughters Living As Unprotected Prey In Black Neighborhoods, You Should At Least Train Them In Parkour And Free Running”

  1. halima says:

    I am still speechless from this latest savagery and the mass support from bw! Truly human devolution is now in effect in Black residential areas.

  2. ak says:

    Khadija I’ve seen What About Our Daughters? and Evia’s website about the recent rapes of 11 year olds in the Midwest and in Texas, and I tell you….this is why I’m not angry at all, nor do I feel argumentative when any white racist from an actual racist/separatist/supremacist organization speaks or gets quoted on TV, on the TV news or what have you. Because there are black people who look just like everybody else working so hard to prove those groups all right!!

    Oversexed animals who have no control over their actions and who breed like rabbits? Well…once it starts looking like a duck, and quacking like a duck far too often and for far too long and loudly, then yeah it’s gonna be called a duck!

    On UK national TV news once a few years they showed some white guy or other (not the head guy though) who was a BNP member, and BNP means British National Party and they’re basically the group who took over from the National Front in the UK. Anyway, this guy startyed saying stuff like ‘Black guys are never raised in the home with a father and usually never know who their father is, or they barely see their fathers’ etc, etc. and I was alone and about to say something, and then I just stopped myself.

    For one thing….I was alone and now I sound crazy! LOL LOL But also, what kind of rebuttal can I give to that?! When it seems true a lot of times especially while the OOW rate keeps climbing with no signs of stopping?? So Isaid to myself ‘Uh yeah, yeah,….That sounds about right.’ because way back in the day might have been one thing in both the US and the UK but now sadly on both sides of the pond, today is another! I don’t know anymore people….

    • Zoopath says:

      ak: Well…once it starts looking like a duck, and quacking like a duck far too often and for far too long and loudly, then yeah it’s gonna be called a duck!

      Far too often and for far too long, indeed. Worrying about white racists reactions to loud frequent quaking is the least of our concerns. I don’t see skinhead running trains on little black girls

    • SweetIslandGirl says:

      I tell you. Once when I was around 17 I was walking to my cousins house with my biracial nephew. I used to get a lot of attention when he was with me because of his olive tan skin, green eyes and golden blonde hair. In any case a young black girl walked up to me with her friends and asked if he was mine. I told her no of course not, I’m too young for that; he’s my nephew. She recoiled back as if I called her mother an aweful name. Then she leans forward and tells me that her sister has a child and shes 18 so I’m not too young to have a child then hauls off as if I was some sort of idiot. She couldnt be more then 13. I thought to myself, what was that?

      In any case I continued on my journey and when I got to my cousins house (who also had a child at 18) and told her the story she was disgusted. She told me being a single mothr at 18 was nothing to be proud of because she is struggling every day to raise her child and she made me promise not to make the same mistake.

      I tell this story to illustrate how growing up with tolerated OOW examples in the home sends the message that its ok for the younger generation to repeat that mistake. If you think about it, its like a really good return on an investment. You invest once andy ou reap the rewards for generations to come.

      This madness needs to stop! Its not acceptable to have a child OOW. The ideaology that you can still raise a child on your own because your sister, mother, brother’s gf did it doesnt mean its ok for you to do it too.

      Too bad the Finishing School Thread has ended. I wanted to talk about the significance of a name and the impact it has when naming your child. It makes a huge difference in how your child who wille ventually grow into an adult is received by the outside world. I find alot of ghetto dwellers tend to think its ok to name their child names like “Mercedes”, “Kingston”, “Alize”, “Laquisha”, “Manisha” (I know people with these names) etc. Those names brand you and that brand follows you everytime you are introduced to someone new. Even if they get to know you as being a great person the next person who sees your name on paperwork or hears it will automatically have negative connotations and judgments about what kind of personality characteristics you possess (in my line of work I watch as my white business counterparts do it all the time).

      I think I might have ruffled a few feathers with this one. I certainly did on saturday night when I brought this up to my cousins friend. He nearly pounced all over me but in the end realized that I was right and agreed with the sentiment.
      _______________________________________

      [Khadija speaking: This is the last off-topic comment that I’ll publish. Any further off-topic comments will be deleted.]

  3. ak says:

    Khadija:

    ‘Oppositional Defiant Disorder-based’

    Please tell the people again for me Khadija, please! Because they like to reat them all like they’re Rosa Parks, MLK, or Medgar Evars and the like. My word! I can differentiate, and always have been able to but what the heck happened to everybody else?!

  4. Karen says:

    One only has to look at Camden, New Jersey where one-third of the fire department and half of the police force have been laid off.

    Rwanda has arrived in Camden. Those who are still their have become prey to the predators.

    One can argue that New Jersey as a state has some of the richest people in the U.S. living there, how could they let Camden happen but the real questions is how did AAs let this happen?

    After all, AAs are preying on each other, AAs refused to support AA businesses by robbing, and other violent acts. AAs refuse to treat AA criminals for what they are: CRIMINALS.

    The next cities going in this direction: Detroit, St. Louis, Baltimore…all having significant AA populations, all heading towards the same fate as Camden.

    The chickens have come home to roost and what has happen in Camden is replicating itself like a virus to many predominantly black neighborhoods that were once decent, safe neighborhoods.

    The bottom line is “The Good Black Men” are woefully outnumbered (I venture to say that they never existed in significant numbers) to fight the onslaught of the hoards that are descending on the defenseless.

    Allowing your young daughters to remain in these Rwanda Zones is leaving them to destruction.

    • Vanessa F. says:

      Hi Karen,

      As a Baltimore resident, I have to counter the inclusion of Baltimore in your statement based on this my conclusive observation over the past 5 years: “White people are taking this city back!” Ha!

      Oh yes, “The Wire”/Rwanda-style culture is real in many parts of this city, however, I have observed many of the young whites (meaning younger than 50) who have decide to make Charm City their home are seriously into civic engagement, political engagement, capital investment, safe neighborhoods and not being run out of town! Interestingly enough, Baltimore just ‘suffered’ a 4,000 population loss as reported in the last census and I do believe the vast majority of that loss were comprised of AA’s.

      These new school whites, IMO, are doing this because they do not want to live in Detroit/Camden. Trust they are fighting like hell for their new or childhood homes and neighborhoods to not go that route! I honestly believe in 20 years, population trends in Baltimore will mirror those in DC which is no longer considered a ‘chocolate city.’

      Thinking about Khadija’s discussion on peace walls/zones, I can see this happening here considering the new school whites (and old school whites who live in the the city’s tonier neighborhoods) want to live in peace but might not be able to completely rid Baltimore of these zones (aka not being able to push all of the low-income AAs out into the surrounding counties).

      • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

        This is happening in my and my mother’s neighborhood. They were building some condos/townhomes and they are very nice. That is now completed. I noticed that broken sidewalks and missing sidewalks have been paved, streets have been repaired and restructured. They took a whole swath of section 8/shotgun house residents and made them relocate. Their former homes have been razed to the ground. In my mom’s neighborhood they have created an eco park where the section 8 residents used to live. I have been seeing Mexican and White faces around.

      • Karen says:

        Vanessa,

        Glad to hear things are moving in a positive directions. Sadly, based on your feedback it is clear that these actions are not coming from AAs.

        ================

        General coment:

        To the point of this post by Khadija, it is still important for young girls to learn how to flee or do everything they can to avoid the danger as it appears that the adults in their lives are failing them miserably.

  5. Vanessa F. says:

    I’ve been learning about freerunning/parkour and think it would be a good skill for women and girls to learn. Myself, I am seriously contemplating taking Krav Maga lessons (Israeli martial arts).

    Its also important to teach AA girls not to be afraid to tell when someone has abused or attempted to abuse them (however this is only effective when you have non-insane adults that will listen and believe them). One of my childhood friends was sexually assaulted by her mother’s boyfriend and her mother did not believe her. I think her mother not believing her caused as much pain as the assault! Lawd!

    I cannot wrap my head around adults being so invested in NOT protecting children based on whatever crazy reasoning.

    • Chris says:

      Vanessa,

      I’ve taken Krav Maga, and it’s fantastic. Get’s you in shape and teaches some real life skills to defend yourself. It can be a bit pricey, depending on where you live. If you can manage with your budget, the results are worth the effort – and extra costs.

  6. Everybody,

    Let’s stay on point with this conversation. I’m talking about:

    (1)Functional fitness training in parkour and free running skills that could help unprotected Black girls (and women) living in Black residential areas get away from the 1st BM rapist. It appears that what happens in a number of these situations is that the 1st BM monster catches and traps the girl, and then the BM monster starts phoning his BM monster-friends to come join him in raping the girl. If the girl can avoid being physically caught by the 1st BM monster, then perhaps she’ll be able to avoid being raped and gang raped.

    (2) The sheer negligence of those AA parents who keep their daughters living in BM-gang-rapist-infested Black residential areas. At this point, nobody can honestly “play the nut role” and pretend like they don’t know that large numbers of AA males are inclined to engage in rape and gang rape. Or that large numbers of AA female zombies will support BM rapists and gang rapists.

    I’m not interested in the empty, meaningless handwringing that is the typical response to these atrocities. We already know that the masses of AA adults are NOT going to lift a finger to protect Black girls who are trapped living within Black residential areas.

    Since these Black girls WON’T be protected by the Black adults around them, then maybe it would be helpful for these girls to be trained how to run and vault over objects. Maybe that sort of training should be added to their Girl Scout, and “community”-based, etc. programs. So the helpless, defenseless girls can increase their odds of being able to escape the large numbers of BM-monsters who will try to rape them that live in Black residential areas.

    Expect Success!

    • MesaATLien says:

      Oooh, I take Parkour and Kickboxing classes at my university!! Now, the Parkour has been kicking my behind for a while (it’s very physically straining on the body), so I had to stop that for some weeks, but the Kickboxing class ROCKS!

      Ladies, if you go to a large university like I do, please do yourself a favor and head on over to your gym/activities center. Chances are they have tons of classes for you to take for free! I’ve been going for the past few months now, and I actually feel much safer now that I’ve learned to defend myself. The added benefit of weight loss never hurt either.

      Khadija, you are on point with this post.

    • formavitae says:

      Khadija,

      I think the reason many AA parents keep raising their kids in predominantly AA communities is because AAs are unwilling to accept THE FACT that their character and morality has disintegrated to such low levels that they only view each other as targets for usury rather than community/family members. AAs want to believe that crimes like rape, molestation, incest are “only things White people do”. But, the reality is that these types of assaults are THRIVING in the AA communities. And, they will only continue TO INCREASE, because AAs refuse to see sexual assault as a crime (“That girl was TOO FAST”) and they want to act like any punishment for black criminality is racism (“The WM is always tryin’ to keep a brutha in the system”). This type of stupidity is the reason AA males keep committing these crimes and show their faces without shame or fear (of their community’s response). BOTTOM LINE: AA females are going to have to take responsibility for their own protection because no one else values us enough to try to save us.

  7. Halima,

    I hear you. I’m trying to stay focused on practical matters regarding these issues.
    ___________________________________________________

    AK,

    I hear you. I’m trying to stay focused on practical matters regarding these issues.
    ___________________________________________________

    Karen,

    You said, “Allowing your young daughters to remain in these Rwanda Zones is leaving them to destruction.”

    I’m wondering if those of us who are sane need to start shaming the negligent AA parents who have their daughters living in these Rwanda Zones. You might as well take your baby girl to the nearest high-security male prison and toss her in there to be left alone with the violent male inmates.
    __________________________________________________

    VanessaF.,

    Thank you for raising some extremely practical points! I’ve heard good things about the practical value of Krav Maga. Anything that can help defenseless, unprotected Black girls escape the BM monsters that will try to rape them is helpful.

    You said, “Its also important to teach AA girls not to be afraid to tell when someone has abused or attempted to abuse them (however this is only effective when you have non-insane adults that will listen and believe them). One of my childhood friends was sexually assaulted by her mother’s boyfriend and her mother did not believe her. I think her mother not believing her caused as much pain as the assault! Lawd!”

    I’m wondering if sane AAs need to teach Black girl to “tell” and keep telling about being assaulted until somebody takes action to help them. It seems like that’s asking/expecting a lot (as in too much) from an already-traumatized child.

    Instead, maybe sane AAs should try to identify the handful of other sane AAs in the local environment that will respond appropriately to a rape outcry from a child. {sigh}

    I don’t know… {another long sigh} that’s why I’m putting these ideas out there, so the handful of sane AA adults can brainstorm about how to best help the Black girls they know who live in the monster-filled Black residential areas.

    Expect Success!

  8. Tasha212 says:

    I have been taking mixed martial arts classes and kickboxing for the past three months. The program that I attend has a special component that focuses on women and self-defense. I think this is a useful activity because it not only helps u get in shape but also gives u practical steps u can take during an attack. The Shihan (teacher) has special sessions about what to do during a rape situatuion before it occurs. I would recommend that every girl and woman know how to defend herself, regardless of where she lives, but especially if she lives in a Rwanda style AA neighborhood. I think a program designed for young AA girls and women that taught practical survival skills would be great. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Cause let’s face it, most Negroes are not moving out of the “community”. Which I don’t understand because back in the day people fought hard to get out of the hood. What’s the big deal now?

    • Tasha212,

      You said, “Cause let’s face it, most Negroes are not moving out of the “community”. Which I don’t understand because back in the day people fought hard to get out of the hood. What’s the big deal now?”

      This is true. Frankly, I don’t care about the suicidal adult AA women who choose to remain in Black residential areas. God respects free will, and so do I. If these adult women choose to continue living in Black residential areas—thereby subjecting themselves to enhanced risk of being carjacked, robbed, raped, and killed—then that’s their choice. And they’re welcome to the consequences of their choice to remain in Black residential areas.

      My point of concern are these idiotic AA women’s defenseless, underage daughters who don’t have any choice about where they live.

      Expect Success!

  9. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    This seems like a good solution/alternative and I hope that this is something BW would consider for themselves and their girl children. I went to their website and this also looks to be something that can make you incredibly fit and its definitely not boring and can be done in a urban area.

    I remember the conversations here on weight and fitness and their impact on health and finances. I remember some of the more extreme responses.

    I was able to conclude outside those conversations that BW/BG are encouraged to be overweight so that they are othered, have low self- esteem, and are easier prey from DBR who want access to their resources. This is a set up and process.

    In light of this post, it seems that the risk of not being fit and living in a black residential area literally makes you prey in a more immediate and dangerous way – you won’t be able to run away from attackers.

    I guess what I am pondering is if there is so much resistance to health and fitness – how can this be overcome in encouraging BW to adopt this?

    I talk to people. I limit my contact with BM extremely, but sometimes if they have daughters I will say something out of concern for their daughters. I had a Jamaican acquaintance who had a daughter and I mentioned to him that I felt he should remove his daughter from a certain school, send her to another school, and I told him the reasons why – which were related to this post. He responded to me that he didn’t believe in sheltering his child. I kept stressing that this is protection – not sheltering. I know this is a BM we are talking about, but I am sure that there are BW who think this way too as so many are DBRBM identified.

    So how would I counter this type of attitude?

    • Oshun/Aphrodite,

      You said, “I remember the conversations here on weight and fitness and their impact on health and finances. I remember some of the more extreme responses.

      I was able to conclude outside those conversations that BW/BG are encouraged to be overweight so that they are othered, have low self- esteem, and are easier prey from DBR who want access to their resources. This is a set up and process.

      In light of this post, it seems that the risk of not being fit and living in a black residential area literally makes you prey in a more immediate and dangerous way – you won’t be able to run away from attackers.”

      As you’re pointing out, there are LAYERS of pathology in all of this.

      You said, “I guess what I am pondering is if there is so much resistance to health and fitness – how can this be overcome in encouraging BW to adopt this?”

      I believe that those AA women who haven’t already caught the hint are lost and already dead for all practical purposes. My concern is for their minor daughters who are trapped, and defenseless. I believe the handful of sane AAs need to recognize that Black girls whose parents condemn them to the dangers of living in Black residential areas are effectively the same as ORPHANS. Orphans in that there are NO adults who are acting responsibly in their interests.

      This means the handful of sane AAs need to find ways to work around the orphaned Black girls’ negligent parent(s). By working helpful, potentially life-saving training into whatever church-based, school-based, etc. programs are already in contact with these orphaned Black girls.

      About the Jamaican BM acquaintance you mentioned, and his lack of concern for his own daughter’s safety (as well as those BW who have similar depraved thought patterns): Again, we have to recognize that most Black girls are orphans for all practical purposes. And work around that.

      Expect Success!

  10. Everybody,

    Let’s be clear that the real world is not the “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” universe. When I discuss self-defense (such as Krav Maga, Hapkido, whatever), I’m NOT envisioning any 11 year-old girl, or the “typical” adult woman fighting off some physically grown BM monster. That’s not real for most women and girls.

    The main thing I learned from training with men during my martial arts classes was just how much physically stronger than women the vast majority of men are. Even the small, thin guys. So, any idea that involves a girl or woman trading blows with any physically mature male is a Very. Bad. Idea.

    When I mention self-defense courses of any sort, I’m talking about girls and women learning EVASION and ESCAPE techniques. How to avoid being grabbed in the first place, and how to get out of a grab/choke hold if you’ve been caught. And best of all is to NOT get caught in the first place. THIS is what I’m talking about.

    Expect Success!

    • tertiaryanna says:

      And best of all is to NOT get caught in the first place.

      A big part of the getting caught happens far ahead of an actual assault. Predators very often know their victims, and they groom them for abuse.

      This can take on many forms. Some is directed to the potential victim, other grooming is done to the victim’s family and support system.

      So there can be two components to watch out for, if you are trying to protect your child (or yourself.)

      Before I start though, I want to clearly emphasize that predators are often more prepared at attacking than a woman/girl is prepared at fending him off. There are times that there is literally nothing that a person can do, except for what they were able to do at the time. One reason why rapists are allowed to run free is the strong culture of shame that the victim didn’t do enough to prevent the rape. This silences the victims and screens the perpetrators from notice.

      Back to examples of grooming by the perpetrator and the community:

      Teaching young girls that they can’t say no to adults, especially about their bodies. For example, when a male wants the girl to hug him, and she doesn’t want to, but is made to do so to “be polite”. Using the threat of “being rude” to obscure that the girl is being told not to say “no”, especially to older men.

      Even if the older men are completely innocent, the girl is learning that men have more authority over her body than she does, and that viewpoint can be internalized and influence how she reacts to other males who approach her.

      Also, being afraid to tell protective adults about iffy situations because of something “bad” the child is doing. For example, a 14 year-old who is drinking alcohol may be afraid to tell her parents about predatory advances because she’s drinking. The parents (not even on purpose) set up an environment where it’s more scary to ask for help than it is to be assaulted. Any other person left in that environment is now also at risk.

      The “On/Off” boundary method. Boundaries can be fluid, and changing. But when it comes to sex, a lot of the dialog is 100% No, or 100% yes. IMO, this sets up the situation where a girl feels like once she says “yes”, she can’t say “no” again. This is where the coercive effect of sexual assault comes in, where a women doesn’t want to participate anymore, but that somehow doesn’t count because of what she did earlier.

      That’s the warped logic about how “bad” girls (where bad = already sexually active) aren’t really victims and the predators aren’t really predators. So the victims are silenced and the predators are free to attack their next victim.

      Fostering the idea that rape is done by 100% bad guys. A man doesn’t have to be the AntiChrist to be a rapist. There are rapists who are paying their bills, helping the poor, healing the sick, whatever. So teaching girls that only “one kind of man” is a rapist, IMO, undermines her internal warning bells that a man is a threat to her. Just because two people were pleasantly acquainted before the assault doesn’t mean the man was incapable of hurting her. Statistically, he’s more likely, because the perpetrator needs to be able to get enough trust to isolate the victim from possible help. So either the group trusts him to be with the girl or the girl does herself.

      Piggybacking on that is the idea that something the girl or woman did makes men rape. Rape is a choice by the perpetrator alone.

      For young girls, some of the best advice is to trust your gut over anyone else, and to recognize (if you can) when you or someone else is being groomed.

      Too many times a woman is told by society or the person himself that the wolf in sheep’s clothing is just a sheep. That it’s more important for the girl to keep the status quo (“he’s a good friend of the family, why don’t you like him”?) than to assert that a person is attempting to approach her in bad ways.

      Again, I believe that a person does the best they can do when they’re faced with a situation. My statements here are about how society fosters a rape culture, and hopefully a girl/woman can see the methods of indoctrination that may be used to lower everyone’s awareness about the predators in their environment.

      • Dea says:

        I agree with the idea that girls are taught that they can’t refuse physical contact with older men without being socially marked as rude. I just can’t understand why when a girl expresses discomfort with a man, other, older women don’t respond to that ESPECIALLY because of the high incidence of sexual assault.

        For me personally, I’m 19 now but around 16 or so I realized that I’d rather stay in my room when a guest came over and then go and greet them 5 minutes later when they were settled/ while on my way to another room in the house so that I could just say hi and keep moving. The arrangement of the situation would generally meaning that we were on different planes (seated versus standing) and far enough away that I got to dictate whether or not I wanted to go over to them and give a hug or not.

        But it still begs the question of what are other ways for girls to deflect physical contact that won’t lead to them looking inappropriate/ further social coercion?

    • tertiaryanna says:

      My statements here are about how society fosters a rape culture, and hopefully a girl/woman can see the methods of indoctrination that may be used to lower everyone’s awareness about the predators in their environment.

      responding to myself here. I believe that what often happens is that the initial boundary cross is the belief that assault can’t have been done by the individual perpetrator. That rape is not a choice made by the predator. Those attitudes make it EXTREMELY easy to breed an environment where people are in danger because they won’t see what’s going on. So women and girls get victimized before anyone even lays a hand on them, because they know beforehand that they won’t be heard, even by those who think of themselves as allies.

      No one sane will justify the rape of an “innocent” victim. But what happens is that victims are told that the fact they were assaulted means they were never innocent to start. They’re told before anything happens, what an appropriate victim looks like, and that they can’t fit in that space. So it’s not considered rape where they’re concerned, and this greatly reduces the safe places (mentally, physically, socially) where they can be heard at all.

      In this case, because the girl was “fast” she wasn’t considered a victim. I think it’s important to teach girls and those who say they care for them that assault isn’t just some creep in the bushes waiting to pounce. So when the little “not-rape” things happen, those are worth a protective response. It shouldn’t have to escalate to the point where it’s 20 men in an abandoned trailer.

      “not-rape” An article here at Racialicious: http://bit.ly/V3it

    • formavitae says:

      I agree with you Khadija. Even “small” men are very strong. I think that since AA women are forced to play the role of the male, they fail to realize that they are not TRULY physically equal to a male in power and strength. We need to be able to play the role of women (by marrying men who believe in treating us as such), so that we can remember that we are and adjust our expectations of ourselves accordingly.

  11. Nkosazana says:

    Your country is turning into mine for black women, My fellow women in South Africa is trying to do a lot to protect themselves.

    Whenever I’m down there with my family and not with my husband or relatives around me, My brother lets me use his gun and mace to carry in my purse and a pocket knife in my pocket, so I can stab a rapist in the groin with if all things fails. You girls should as well. (Thought I don’t know how violent place America is compare to SA)

    I’m not into Rape-aXe yet though lol, seems like it could mess you up badly as well..

    But what I don’t understand is why ain’t the black women angry, We get really pissed about it when it happens. Heck a couple of years ago in my township there were these three serial rapists that had been terrorizing us for quite some while and when the police caught the people that had done it we had finally had enough so 400 angry WOMEN not men but WOMEN went and pulled those rapists out of the police car and made quick work out of them.

    And after that event some rapists turned themselves in instead of facing their own women that they had been terrorizing.

    • MissASP1993 says:

      What’s sad about that is that women (ladies) shouldn’t have to worry about beating up and punishing men. Other men are supposed to do that. And they do, just not bm (worldwide it seems). Notice how there haven’t been reports of mass rape after the recent natural disasters in Japan. It was the opposite in Haiti.

      I know no one wants to notice these patterns but it’s obvious and every non-black person is aware. Like ak said, can we really blame them?? Stereotyping and racism is wrong but ignoring obvious patterns is the lack of common sense that Evia speaks of!

    • Nkosazana,

      You said, “Your country is turning into mine for black women,…”

      That’s what I and a handful of others have been saying for the past 4 or so years. Most AAs remain in denial about this fact.

      You said, “My fellow women in South Africa is trying to do a lot to protect themselves.”

      Well, unfortunately, AA women are currently doing NOTHING to protect themselves or their daughters. What I notice is that there’s generally no discussion about practical self-protection. At most, AA women will engage in empty venting and handwringing when these undeniable atrocities occur. For the most part, AA women are in denial about the overwhelming amount of molestation and rape of Black girls that goes on in Black residential areas.

      At worst, large numbers of AA women (if not most) will defend BM rapists (see the responses of many BW to the current atrocity in Cleveland, Texas), BM child molesters (see R. Kelly’s BF defenders), and BM woman-beaters (see Chris Brown’s BF defenders).

      You said, “Whenever I’m down there with my family and not with my husband or relatives around me, My brother lets me use his gun and mace to carry in my purse and a pocket knife in my pocket, so I can stab a rapist in the groin with if all things fails. You girls should as well. (Thought I don’t know how violent place America is compare to SA)”

      REAL self-defense conversations always ultimately lead to discussions about firearms. Which is another problem among AAs because so many of us have idiotic ideological opposition to the very idea of owning or using firearms. Yet again, many AA women are willing to cut their own throats in support of Fantasy Island-type political rhetoric.

      I would say that, overall, America is a much more violent country than most similarly-situated Western European industrialized countries. However, the levels of violence in NON-African-American areas in the US does NOT come anywhere near approaching the level of violence and anarchy in US Black residential areas. Nonblacks in the US won’t tolerate that level of violence.

      Meanwhile, the level of violence in African-American areas IS comparable to that of South Africa. And in some places, such as all-Black housing projects for Black welfare recipients, the level of violence is comparable to that of the Congo.

      Expect Success!

  12. APA says:

    Even though I don’t live in a dangerous area, I always carry pepper spray with me especially when I’m going to a party. I know too many girls- Black, White, Latina, Asian- who have been forced into some room somewhere and raped at a party or been on date with a seemingly nice guy only to find out he was a creep. Pepper spray allows you to distract your attacker long enough to run away. Also, most university police departments offer self-defense classes. If your university offers some, you should definitely take advantage of them, and people who don’t attend university should encourage their daughters, nieces, etc. to take advantage of any self-defense courses offered.

    My mother always gave me this advice, which was don’t go anywhere alone with a guy you’ve just met for the first time or a couple of times no matter how nice he seems. More girls need to need to have this drilled into their heads, so they don’t find themselves in the position to be attacked by men in the first place. Chances are if he wants to get you alone, he wants to get in your pants. If he’s nice, he’ll back off, but you shouldn’t count on his goodwill for your safety. When I was growing up, boys were not allowed around me freely, and my parents made it clear to me that I should have the same strict boundaries with boys as well. Unfortunately, Black women and girls are not encouraged to have boundaries with men. In fact, the BC prefers if Black women and girls have absolutely no boundaries when it comes to BM. Black girls need to be re-educated about how men with good intentions approach and treat women. I bet the girl, who was raped, didn’t initially find it strange given her environment and upbringing that a man wanted to “talk” to her and therefore didn’t recognize the approaching danger. All the parkour-type skills will be worthless, if black girls and women can’t recognize the situations in which they need to be used.

    • APA,

      You said, “Pepper spray allows you to distract your attacker long enough to run away. Also, most university police departments offer self-defense classes. If your university offers some, you should definitely take advantage of them, and people who don’t attend university should encourage their daughters, nieces, etc. to take advantage of any self-defense courses offered.”

      These are some very good ideas.

      You said, “My mother always gave me this advice, which was don’t go anywhere alone with a guy you’ve just met for the first time or a couple of times no matter how nice he seems. More girls need to need to have this drilled into their heads, so they don’t find themselves in the position to be attacked by men in the first place. Chances are if he wants to get you alone, he wants to get in your pants. If he’s nice, he’ll back off, but you shouldn’t count on his goodwill for your safety.”

      Exactly. And yes, sane AA adults need to train the “orphaned” Black girls (orphaned for all practical purposes because there are NO adults in their families who are acting responsbly to protect them) in their orbit about boundaries.

      Expect Success!

  13. Zoopath says:

    Well I suppose if one is going to remain in such a dangerous place, parkour and other evasion techniques would be helpful to a point. However, many of these monsters have been in Club fed and are in top physical shape so it would still be hard for a little girl to evade them. The girls also have to recognize these men are predators in order to run in the first place. From what I’ve seen, the person leading the rape is already acquainted with the victim. He’s able to get the girls to go to some TBD rape locale and then invites other strangers to rape her so parkour wouldn’t help in that situation because it’s too late. Or they break in your house a la Dunbar. The physical ability to evade capture is only as useful as the mental awareness of danger and survival instinct to avoid it. These girls are groomed from early on to view their bodies as community property and that’s where the battle is ultimately lost before the rapists come for her.
    This is not to disparage your suggestion Khadija, I think parkour would be a cool thing for little girls to learn, certainly wouldn’t hurt. Just picturing them jumping over stuff with their little braids or puffs is a cute image…until you put in the pursuing hoard of black male monster rapists closing in fast on her. I agree that it would be best to leave these settings but if one is to stay then evasion and escape skills would be a surival advantage. You don’t have to be the fastest girl, just faster than the slowest girl in your group.

    • arthur says:

      ..the mental awareness of danger and survival instinct to avoid it ..

      Amen. Situational awareness is something that can be taught as well as physical skills. Often the best (or only) way out of certan situations is to never get into them in the first place. “Never go inside 4 walls alone with anyone” .. “Never go anywhere alone with anyone” .. thinking like that can keep a girl safer by an order of magnitude.

      • Arthur,

        I 100% cosign. An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of healing in these situations.

        Expect Success!

      • Clarice says:

        A frequent traveler who rarely has time to post this post made me come out of lurk mode. Practical tips learned from family and friends in and out of law enforcement and from traveling and finding myself in strange environments often. Co-sign Arthur’s advice. Women and girls living in danger zones and truth be told any place can be a danger zone must develop a survival mindset. Never be alone within four walls with anyone or in any enclosed space where you do not have a clear line of sight to the door/exit. Never let anyone get between you and the exit. Anytime you go anywhere always look for the exits and possible escape routes if before you go in. Do not accept or consume any food or drink you did not prepare yourself even if it is sealed. If you put food or drink down and let it out of your sight – you are done with it. Never let anyone sneak up behind you, always position yourself so you have a clear path to the door. If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable in anyway remove yourself from it immediately. Always keep your keys,phone and id on your person in your direct control never in your purse. When you are out walking keep your wits about you – no talking on the cell phone or listening to a music player – pay attention where you are at all times. Most people do not pay attention to their surrounding or notice details and take a lot for granted. Watch what is happening around you – be aware of where you are, who is around you and what they are doing at all times. Practice these and the other skills, such as noticing the details of your situation until it becomes second nature as natural as breathing so it becomes automatic.

        Clarice

        • Robynne says:

          You sound just like my dad. This is key:

          “Do not accept or consume any food or drink you did not prepare yourself even if it is sealed. If you put food or drink down and let it out of your sight – you are done with it. ”

          Many young women are also drugged by predators. Many girls did not receive the above memo, so this is not something that is present in their minds. I NEVER drink from a container that has been out of my sight, or accept drinks brought to me by other people. If my eye was not on them during the process, it’s a no go. Especially if you are only an acquaintance. Sorry.

    • Zoopath,

      You said, “This is not to disparage your suggestion Khadija, I think parkour would be a cool thing for little girls to learn, certainly wouldn’t hurt. Just picturing them jumping over stuff with their little braids or puffs is a cute image…until you put in the pursuing hoard of black male monster rapists closing in fast on her. I agree that it would be best to leave these settings but if one is to stay then evasion and escape skills would be a surival advantage. You don’t have to be the fastest girl, just faster than the slowest girl in your group.”

      I’m not taking it as disparagement. {smile} There’s no one technique or method that would apply to any and all scenarios.

      My issue is that AAs almost never discuss practical ideas about these scenarios. Either we go into lengthy discussions of sociological/ideological constructs. Or we do some empty venting about how horrible the BM monsters are. Or we do some empty handwringing.

      I’m trying to foster a conversation about some PRACTICAL ideas that sane AAs can present to the “orphaned” Black girls in their orbit. Orphaned for all practical purposes because there are NO adults in their families who are acting responsbly to protect them.

      In terms of the parkour, I’m also thinking of the ability to vault over chairs and tables to run out of a room that one finds oneself trapped in.

      You said, “I agree that it would be best to leave these settings but if one is to stay then evasion and escape skills would be a surival advantage. You don’t have to be the fastest girl, just faster than the slowest girl in your group.”

      I agree.

      Expect Success!

  14. GoddessM says:

    Judo can even the playing field a bit. You use your opponent’s strength against him. My mother moved us from the black residential are when I was 7 but before that my older brother escorted me everywhere. If these parents are so negligent the least they could do is give the girl a weapon. I collected pocket knives as a kid and though I never needed them I always felt safer.

    Free running has always fascinated me. Since most of these areas are in urban settings it should be easier for the girls to find fences and railings to launch from/jump. If you can master them, the obstacles meant for you can be used against them.

  15. Valerie M says:

    Excellent post! I took a few martial arts courses a few years ago, and I remember some of the moves. However, due to lack of practice I’m scared my mind will go totally blank and I’d probably resort to screaming and thrashing if someone grabbed me.

    A couple of months ago, my sister and I took a workshop on how to use your body to get away from predators. The focus was on women using their bodies, but I’m sure they teach this kind of thing in various martial arts also. It was quick to learn and didn’t require hours upon hours of instruction. The main lesson is not to fight the predator, but to execute movements that loosens his grasp on you and enables you to run away as fast as you can. Since most women are weaker than the average man (let’s cut the PC feminist crap), engaging in combat with the man doesn’t make sense in *most* cases.

    The most important thing I learned in the workshop is to make force and your own weight work FOR you, not against you. It is hard to explain with words, but I will try. For example, the typical knee-jerk response that women have when they get grabbed is to pull away. This will only make the man pull you back in with more force. The correct thing to do is to use the force of the man pulling you in to throw your weight at him. As you fall into him, use your shoulder or your joint to jab his chest (where his heart is) — or any other weak spot. It sounds counterintuitive and the thought of falling into some rapist’s chest makes me shudder. But it works! It probably won’t cripple him, but that’s not the point. The point, again, is to shock him enough to let go temporarily. Thats when you take off and RUN.

    • Sisterlocgirl says:

      Valerie M you raise an extremely important point. If you are truly going to be prepared for an attack you must PRACTICE your response to a similar situation. Role playing and playing ” What If ” with the little girls in your life will go a lot further than talking about what to do in situation X. In a life threatening situation you will NOT rise to the occasion, you will default to the level of training you have had/practiced prior to the event. Too many of us believe that going to classes equates with preparation. It doesn’t. If you have hardwired the responses into your ” muscle memory ” by repetition/practice you will have a better chance of getting away. The flight or flight adrenaline release sends rational thought out the window. I would recommend situational awareness training as a way to avoid the problem before it gets to that level. Pay attention when you are walking. Stop looking down at the ground and avoiding looking at other peoples faces. Many times you can see trouble coming a long ways off. . .if you are observant. If you are going to carry pepper spray PRACTICE using it. All of these things require practice/repetition to be effective. The goal of all this is to have the proper physical response to become your default setting. I would also recommend checking out the Don’t Be a Victim series on Spike tv. The block lays out various scenarios that you may encounter in the mall/grocery store/church/mosque/work etc. I won’t get into the whole gun discussion but I will toss this out there. . .if the police forces are laid off, and the criminals have guns how exactly do you expect to defend yourself, with harsh language? You must either remove yourself from the environment or step up with some realistic plan for self preservation.

    • Robynne says:

      To add to your points Valerie M – my father taught me a manuoever that would be useful if the first predator grabs your arm: You exert all the pressure against the thumb rather than the other fingers, since it is easier to get out of someone else’s grasp by applying ALL the pressure to the one finger (thumb), as opposed to the other four. This works very well. My dad showed me the move, and I was able to wrangle myself from his grasp when I applied the force to the thumb. I was not able to achieve the same result by applying the force to the other 4 fingers. Instead of thrashing wildly, calculated applications of force like this could serve a girl well if she is unfortunate enough to be grabbed by a predator.

  16. Reese says:

    Khadijah,

    Thank you so much for creating this forum. I have been a reader (ok, lurker lol) for months so I want to thank you for allowing many of us to observe even though we haven’t contributed. There is so much of value here, so again, I thank you.

    I am a SAHM of two, soon to be three, daughters. My husband has insisted we all learn some form of martial arts. In fact,even when we were just dating he was concerned about my ability to defend myself against predators. My point is that most men know what other men are capable of so the black male community’s dead silence on gun ownership and self defense for black women and girls speaks volumes. A sign of a good protector is not just his own willingness to step in front of harm for you but also his insistence that you have the skills to protect yourself. Your husband can be at work long hours, away on business or just not with you the moment trouble arrives. Sadly a lot of women look for the brute type that will use his size or height (or race) to intimidate others and they will see that as protection. These brutes like a woman who is weak and afraid and unable to defend herself so he can feel powerful. This is dbr behavior in sheep’s clothing if you ask me. No good man wants a weak woman who is easy prey. He wants a fit, healthy, energetic woman who can outrun potential danger. Same for his daughters. I am amazed the way black parents have allowed their daughters to become overweight/obese not just because of the dating limitations but also because of her health and fitness. Oveweight young girls are targets for all types of predators because the thinking is she is uncared for an unloved.

    I know you are looking for solutions in this post so here is one: If you are a mother still living amongst the janjaweed, you need to be prepared for the likelihood that you and your children will be victims of violence. Don’t assume that it won’t happen, assume it will. In fact, I am sure most of them have had their apartments broken into, or their car, or they have been verbally assaulted and harrassed or their daughter has been groped in school or on the way to or from, or their mail has been tampered with or their packages stolen, etc. I know this because the black women I know that live in black areas have this stuff happen all the time. It is so commonplace that they don’t think of it as any sort of crime, they don’t report it. But these women don’t see mass rapes and beatings and shootings as something that will happen to them because they are perpetual victim blamers. Victim blamers never prepare themselves because in their eyes as long as their daughter is not fast, as long as they walk on the main roads, as long as they don’t let anyone see them moving in their big screen tv, they are not going to be targets for violence.

    Sadly, i do not see large numbers of victim blaming black women enrolling their daughters in any sort of defense. The mentality many have of there always being a reasonable justification for black male crime will keep them from ever preparing for the realities of it. That is why they don’t move, they don’t limit contact with dbr’s, they don’t cut off female enablers and they don’t report petty or large crimes.

    Like you and others have said, the best defense is always a good offense. Get out of dodge! Once you can physically and mentally escape, you will start to see the benefits of self preservation. Good luck to all of you women that are still there, I really mean that.I hope you are planning your escape in the very near future. I would hate for a reader of this blog to suffer some horrible fate because you were unable to make it out.

    • Reese,

      You’re welcome, and thank you for momentarily de-lurking! LOL!

      You said, “My point is that most men know what other men are capable of so the black male community’s dead silence on gun ownership and self defense for black women and girls speaks volumes.”

      Indeed. This silence by self-proclaimed Good Black Men™ lets us all know that these self-proclaimed Good Black Men™ don’t give a dead rat’s behind about the safety of BW and girls. Their silence is yet another example of how self-proclaimed Good Black Men™ assume NO responsibility whatsoever for the safety of Black women and children within Black residential areas. These self-proclaimed Good Black Men™’s posture is the very opposite of what normal men do.

      You said, “I am a SAHM of two, soon to be three, daughters. My husband has insisted we all learn some form of martial arts. In fact,even when we were just dating he was concerned about my ability to defend myself against predators… A sign of a good protector is not just his own willingness to step in front of harm for you but also his insistence that you have the skills to protect yourself. Your husband can be at work long hours, away on business or just not with you the moment trouble arrives.”

      Exactly! This is how normal, protective men think and respond.

      You said, “No good man wants a weak woman who is easy prey. He wants a fit, healthy, energetic woman who can outrun potential danger. Same for his daughters. I am amazed the way black parents have allowed their daughters to become overweight/obese not just because of the dating limitations but also because of her health and fitness. Oveweight young girls are targets for all types of predators because the thinking is she is uncared for an unloved.”

      Exactly! Again, this is how normal, protective men think and respond. A normal, protective man wants to know that if, God forbid, something negative happens while he’s not present, his wife and daughters know how to handle themselves to maximize their odds of survival and coming through the situation in one piece.

      You said, “If you are a mother still living amongst the janjaweed, you need to be prepared for the likelihood that you and your children will be victims of violence. Don’t assume that it won’t happen, assume it will. In fact, I am sure most of them have had their apartments broken into, or their car, or they have been verbally assaulted and harrassed or their daughter has been groped in school or on the way to or from, or their mail has been tampered with or their packages stolen, etc. I know this because the black women I know that live in black areas have this stuff happen all the time. It is so commonplace that they don’t think of it as any sort of crime, they don’t report it.”

      Lord have mercy…

      You said, “But these women don’t see mass rapes and beatings and shootings as something that will happen to them because they are perpetual victim blamers. Victim blamers never prepare themselves because in their eyes as long as their daughter is not fast, as long as they walk on the main roads, as long as they don’t let anyone see them moving in their big screen tv, they are not going to be targets for violence.

      Sadly, i do not see large numbers of victim blaming black women enrolling their daughters in any sort of defense. The mentality many have of there always being a reasonable justification for black male crime will keep them from ever preparing for the realities of it. That is why they don’t move, they don’t limit contact with dbr’s, they don’t cut off female enablers and they don’t report petty or large crimes.”

      I can’t stand these victim-blamers. I don’t care what happens to them. In fact, the world would be a better place without them. My concern is for their helpless, defenseless, “orphan” daughters.

      Expect Success!

  17. Everybody,

    There’s no one technique or method that would apply to any and all scenarios.

    My issue is that AAs almost never discuss practical ideas about these scenarios. Either we go into lengthy discussions about various sociological/ideological constructs. Or we do some empty venting about how horrible the BM monsters are. Or we do some empty handwringing.

    I’m trying to foster a conversation about some PRACTICAL ideas that sane AAs can present to the “orphaned” Black girls in their orbit. Orphaned for all practical purposes because there are NO adults in their families who are acting responsbly to protect them.

    In terms of the parkour, I’m also thinking of the ability to vault over chairs and tables to run out of a room that one finds oneself trapped in. I’m thinking about the ability to run away effectively in general.

    Since we know Black girls are NOT going to be protected, what sorts of training/ideas can we—as sane AA adults—present to the orphaned Black girls in our orbit?

    Expect Success!

    • tertiaryanna says:

      I think an essential defense is to explain to a girl what she’s looking at: to teach her how to see the reality underneath the diversion. That includes teaching her how to identify a predator in the early stage. Or at least how to trust her gut.

      I know for a fact that perpetrators don’t start with the big assault to the victim. Too often, especially when the girl is young enough to ordinarily attract protection, the predation starts with not-so-bad erosions to her boundaries. The kind that she tells herself aren’t erosions, not as bad as what her gut tells her they are. That’s what grooming does. It tells a non-victim how to be one, in the future.

      That’s why parents had to teach their kids about “bad touches”: to give the children a working vocabulary to say when something not-so-bad was happening. Because the not-so-bad gradually escalates. It’s within that gradual escalation that a girl can either recognize that what’s happening isn’t right, and get away. Or she’s not taught to recognize it, and the escalation increases until she can not get away at all.

      Part of giving a defense is the ability to accurately describe what’s going on.

      Telling a girl to kick a man in the groin is unhelpful if she can’t understand that the past six weeks of him close hugging himself to her breasts is just one point on an extended repertoire of potential assaults from him. The point at which he tries to rape her is not the beginning of her sexual assaults from him.

      Girls need to be taught the practical lesson of where a boundary starts: waiting to define that by running or fighting just short of penetration/being grabbed is too late. The boundary begins at the ability to say no to any unwanted physical or sexually-themed contact. This is an explicit lesson, that needs to be taught in just that way: you have a right to your own body and your own sexuality, and when someone tries to intrude upon that, they’re ok with hurting you. If they are ok with hurting you, they’ll take the chance they can get to hurt you.

      Once that simple statement is taught, then strategies of defense and escape make sense. Otherwise defense and escape is an abstraction, because how do you know what to avoid, and when?

      The issue with being in an environment is that the girls are taught to think there’s nothing to escape from, because nothing bad is happening to them.

      There’s a comment in the racialicous thread:

      I was a tall girl who developed early and thus subjected to much unwanted, unwelcomed attention before I knew how to handle it. And when I was a month shy of my 14th birthday, things were taken to another level when an older, “friend of the family” began w/ showing me such attention, by which I was flattered by at first, only to become completely overwhelmed by. I managed to get away from the situation, but only temporarily. He was spending the night at our house would later climb into my bed w/ me.

      I was but a few years younger than you are now before I read a magazine article that finally opened my eyes to the fact that I had been raped. See prior to that, despite the fact that I had said “no” repeatedly and he forced himself inside me anyway, and all but made me his concubine for several subsequent months, I was under the impression that it had been something else. Something I didn’t have a name for really. It hadn’t occurred to me to call it rape, because he wasn’t a stranger and it didn’t happen in a dark alley, and once he came back for more my protests stopped. I actually thought for a while I was something “special” to him and even after I didn’t “see him” anymore I still thought that it had been some kind of “relationship”. Never mind the fact that I was an 8th grader and he was a grown man.

      Sometimes, the lesson needs to be taken to a simple, 101, and that’s the 101 for a these girls: what does assault look like from the start? Piggybacking on Evia’s comment about vetting: teaching girls how to identify predatory behavior is part of teaching them to avoid predators.

      The thing about this girl in Tx is that she wasn’t dragged off. So somehow, somewhere, some male was preying on her to be in this situation. For girls who get assaulted, getting to that point is a series of baby steps, none of which they’re taught to see.

      • Zoopath says:

        *standing ovation* That was so awesome. Do you have a professional background in sexual assault? Your comments about consent, date-rape grooming for abuse, etc are always so informative. I found the book, Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, And Other Sex Offenders by Anna Salter to be very informative as well. My basic policy is that any and all men that are very interested in socializing with children are suspect.

    • Zoopath says:

      Khadija said: I’m trying to foster a conversation about some PRACTICAL ideas that sane AAs can present to the “orphaned” Black girls in their orbit.

      I don’t have any orphaned black girls in my orbit and that’s by design. Also my husband has a zero tolerance policy to zombies. The most that I can do is support those that do wade through the zombies to pull these girls out. So I will spend some time looking around online for organizations to support that go beyond the usual mule-prep school drivel and really empower black girls.

  18. Evia says:

    I think this is related to vetting. Any person over 5 years old needs to know that a so-called “nice” person may not be necessarily permanently nice. I think very young children should be taught that “nice may NOT be permanent.” Vetting-wise, ANY other person needs to be evaluated and responded to on a minute by minute basis. They should not be viewed as permanently nice. I think a lot of victims (even adults) become victims because they’ve been soothed into believing they’re dealing with a permanently “nice” person or safe person who wouldn’t do bad things to them. Virtually all abusers pretends to be nice up to a certain point.

    Just because a person was nice yesterday or up until 5 minutes ago doesn’t mean that the person will be nice this minute and if the person goes from nice-to-nasty in the next minute, then the black girl or woman needs to KNOW that and feel empowered and could be trained to be cunning enough to do the same thing.

    This is actually what we’ve taught our sons to do. The second the other person crosses the boundary, that’s when the would-be-victim needs to go into action. So even if the rapist was “nice” and charming and was able to get the girl to go someplace with him, the second he began to show ANY sign that he wasn’t nice, if she’d been taught, she could have used her brain to get away. I didn’t read that he tied her up, so she probably had a bit of time to get away IF she’d been taught that “nice may not be permanent.” A preteen girl or woman can sometimes use her brain to get out of certain tight spots IF she’s been taught to use her brain to do so.

    For ex. we’ve even taught our sons that if they’re in a situation where they’re out-numbered, they must use their brain. They must control their fear because fear causes paralysis. Instead, smile at the would-be-abuser and say that you need to go to the bathroom to do #2 (be very graphic, if necessary) or what if this girl had CALMLY said she had a terrible STD like herpes that is permanent (medical people–help me out???). Even rapists wouldn’t want a permanent STD.

    We live in an ugly world. A parent can and should actually give their young child self-defense lessons without the child knowing it. Even young children can be taught to be cunning. Parents should give their children “acting” lessons. This could save them from being abused or killed in some cases.

    • Zoopath says:

      I like he concept of temporary niceness. That, along with making sure children have ownership of their bodies as Tertianna mentioned leave a child very well-equipped to deal with the predators. On easy thing to do is to do a search for sex offenders before you decide to live somewhere and then check about once a year to see if any have popped up. My mother is looking for a house in my town and the area with all the charming craftsmen homes she liked in a certain part of town all had at least 24 sex offenders (mostly violent, mostly with kids) within a mile radius. I now refer to that part of town as the Chester the Molester District, so needless to say she won’t be buying in that neighborhood.

  19. GoddessM and ValerieM,

    GoddessM, you said, “Judo can even the playing field a bit. You use your opponent’s strength against him.”

    ValerieM, you said, “A couple of months ago, my sister and I took a workshop on how to use your body to get away from predators. The focus was on women using their bodies, but I’m sure they teach this kind of thing in various martial arts also. It was quick to learn and didn’t require hours upon hours of instruction. The main lesson is not to fight the predator, but to execute movements that loosens his grasp on you and enables you to run away as fast as you can. Since most women are weaker than the average man (let’s cut the PC feminist crap), engaging in combat with the man doesn’t make sense in *most* cases.

    The most important thing I learned in the workshop is to make force and your own weight work FOR you, not against you. It is hard to explain with words, but I will try. For example, the typical knee-jerk response that women have when they get grabbed is to pull away. This will only make the man pull you back in with more force. The correct thing to do is to use the force of the man pulling you in to throw your weight at him. As you fall into him, use your shoulder or your joint to jab his chest (where his heart is) — or any other weak spot. It sounds counterintuitive and the thought of falling into some rapist’s chest makes me shudder. But it works! It probably won’t cripple him, but that’s not the point. The point, again, is to shock him enough to let go temporarily. Thats when you take off and RUN.”

    What you’re both describing is the concept that many martial arts teach: When the attacker is pushing you, you pull the attacker. When the attacker is pulling you, you push the attacker.

    In both cases, the attacker will usually quickly lose their balance, giving you an opportunity to get away. Especially in the situation where the attacker is pulling on you, and you start pushing them backwards (in the same direction they’re pulling you).

    It’s hard to explain in words, but once most people see it demonstrated, they quickly get the idea. I’ve tried to find a video demonstrating these ideas, but was unsuccessful.

    Expect Success!

  20. SweetIslandGirl says:

    My highschool was istuated in a residential area beside a pathway that had a lot of tall trees adn shurbbery. As a result there were alot of attempted sexual assualts and a few successful ones.

    Our school took action and hired a jujitsu teacher, and a few detectives from teh sexual assault division to come to our school over the school year to teach us how to walk defensively and be aware of our surroundings. The jujitsu instructor taught us waht to do if we were surprised by a man while on school grounds or when we were walking home.

    Later on that summer I met a man who was determined to follow me home in his car after I turned down his offer for a ride. Because of the training and seminars I attended on being self aware of the signals you are sending when you travel on the street and being aware of my surroundings I was able “save” myself from this monster.

    This type of training is vital for young women and it wont leave them as they transition from young teens to women. To this day I am extremely aware of my surroundings and I look people directly in the eyes whenever the alarm bells go off in my gut. This lets them know I see them and I’m not a suitable target.

  21. Everybody,

    Before I step back into mostly listening during this conversation (because I see that I won’t be able to reply to the volume of comments), let me further shape the conversation.

    Okay, now that folks are coming up with useful ideas about self-defense training, situational awareness training, and messages about boundaries, etc. that need to be communicated to these “orphaned” Black girls . . .

    . . . How are those of you who assume the responsibility for communicating these ideas, etc. to these Black girls … going to get to these orphaned Black girls in order to connect them to this sort of training, etc.?

    Are any of y’all who are coming up with these various ideas committed to approaching YOUR churches, block organizations, community groups, etc. with ways of implementing these ideas?

    I don’t want to hear a bunch of empty talk that the talkers have NO intention of following up with action. I want to hear about what’chu gonna do to put your good idea into action.
    ________________________________

    Oh, and before I forget, I am hereby acknowledging the existence of the roughly 2% of AA men who are normal, protective men. Let nobody say that I denied that there were any normal, protective African-American men. {side-eye in advance}

    Expect Success!

    • APA says:

      This doesn’t have to be a grand project. If you have daughters, nieces, cousins, sisters, etc. or know any neighborhood girls, you should just talk to them and give them the advice that we’ve been discussing in this forum. Most of the conversations that I’ve had over the years with my parents and relatives were just in passing. They didn’t take the time to plan some big presentation before they talked to me, but those conversations had a profound effect on me because I was touched that someone believed that I was valuable enough to be privy to such information. They simply just pulled me aside and shared some piece of advice that they thought would be useful. Everyone has the ability to do this, but most don’t, especially in the BC, where there’s a lack mentoring across the board. The older generation is too preoccupied to pass on valuable information to the younger generation, which is why so many black children have absolutely no idea about stranger danger, a basic idea of which other groups of children are well aware.

      Contacting community organizations and taking the message nationwide is not a bad idea. It’s just that many people become intimidated by working out the mechanics of pulling of such an event and forget to do the basic things that could have an effect. This is why we have so many talkers that fail to take action. They focus on the big, grand ideas, but are unable to identify the little things that they can do to achieve their goals.

      • APA,

        You said, “This doesn’t have to be a grand project. If you have daughters, nieces, cousins, sisters, etc. or know any neighborhood girls, you should just talk to them and give them the advice that we’ve been discussing in this forum. Most of the conversations that I’ve had over the years with my parents and relatives were just in passing. They didn’t take the time to plan some big presentation before they talked to me, but those conversations had a profound effect on me because I was touched that someone believed that I was valuable enough to be privy to such information. They simply just pulled me aside and shared some piece of advice that they thought would be useful.”

        But that’s you and your experience growing up as a NON-orphaned Black girl. That was my experience growing up as a NON-orphaned Black girl.

        Actually, it does need to be a “grand project” as you put it: Orphaned Black girls don’t have family or neighborhood connections to the normal adults who would would tell them such things. These orphaned Black girls DON’T have anybody like your relatives in their families or in their neighborhoods. That’s how it came to be that they’re “orphaned” in the first place!

        And since orphaned Black girls don’t have natural, organic connections to the handful of sane AA adults who would tell them the things you and I were told while growing up, there would have to be some sort of of active outreach effort to reach them. Such as through their churches, schools, community-based organizations, etc.

        Furthermore, do you really believe that your fellow readers as so negligent that they’re not already saying these things to the girls in their own families?

        Expect Success!

        • Zoopath says:

          Khadija, let’s also not forget the risk of zombie bites that could and often do occur while trying to imbue a relative’s child with life-saving knowledge. You would have to make sure that there were no zombies in earshot. I make my yearly pilgrimage to visit my grandmother and spend time with my relatives of vary degrees of DBR and it takes finesse to be able to pass on a pearl of knowledge when in “mixed” company. I do try but it’s hard to talk about how grown men shouldn’t be running after young girls when my uncle went to prison for statutory rape and his wife is sitting in the same room. Awkward…..

        • Zoopath,

          Imma do some REAL TALK: I never suggested any sort of suicide-martyrdom mission to reach these orphan Black girls (or any other Black girls, including relatives). I don’t believe in suicide-martyrdom missions.

          It’s interesting that as soon as I turn the question toward asking, “Okay, these are some great-sounding ideas and theories—now what y’all gonna do to implement them?” then all of sudden folks start talking about how this doesn’t have to be a big project or how dangerous a project it might be.

          To me, in this context, all of this registers as the equivalent of saying “I don’t wanna do nuthin’ but vent and pontificate.” I could be grossly mistaken, but that’s what this sounds like to my ears. Well, I have no interest in any of that. I’m totally bored with listening to AAs vent, theorize and pontificate. I’m especially bored with that because I’m one of the handful of AAs who go beyond venting.

          I do my own individual outreach, and take the time to talk to the receptive Black underclass mothers and teenage girls I encounter at work. [I’m not going to fight with anybody to try to help them.] And I can tell from their reactions to some of the things I say, that they’ve never heard these ideas before. It’s not a matter of poverty, because I’m simply repeating some of the old-school, common sense ideas my poor-and-plain-talking grandmother and my grew-up-poor mother told me.

          A large part of the problem is that these orphaned Black girls (and the women they grow up to become) have NO significant, organic contact with normal, sane women. They’re surrounded by crazy people with crazy values. And the few places these AA women and girls go where they just might run across a normal-thinking BW (such as 1 or 2 normal-thinking women out of all the women in their churches)—well, those 1-2 normal women in their churches aren’t saying anything.

          The things orphaned Black girls need to be told for their own survival are the sorts of messages that need to be repeatedly reinforced. That reinforcement comes naturally and seamlessly in a family-type setting. But these girls don’t have normal family members. And they don’t have normal neighbors. And 99% of the people who open their mouths in the churches they attend are not normal-thinking.

          So, yeah, it seems to me that we’re left with creating some active outreach sorts of situations IF we’re serious about reaching these orphaned Black girls with the messages they need for their own survival.

          Now, if folks decide that they don’t want to do anything, that’s fine—that apathy toward actual work to support sanity is how the situation got this far gone among AAs in the first place. I understand that folks are tired and don’t want to be bothered. And I know that for many AAs, talk is an appropriate substitute for action. I’m just not that sort of person. I don’t want to talk about these sorts of matters unless that talk is headed somewhere.

          I’m just saying that I, Khadija don’t want to engage in any more empty-talk, empty-venting type conversations about these atrocities. There are plenty of other Black forums that will indulge those folks who are interested in blowing off some steam and doing nothing else. This forum simply happens to not be that sort of place. {smile}

          Expect Success!

          • APA says:

            Khadija you said:
            It’s interesting that as soon as I turn the question toward asking, “Okay, these are some great-sounding ideas and theories—now what y’all gonna do to implement them?” then all of sudden folks start talking about how this doesn’t have to be a big project or how dangerous a project it might be.

            I say:
            My earlier comment wasn’t made because I don’t think that larger initiatives shouldn’t be pursued. What I meant to say was that often people feel like they don’t have the time or the resources to create or participate in larger initiatives. If that’s the way they feel, then there are definitely other ways that they can make a difference.

            I tutor at-risk children who are mainly Black while at school, and definitely try to encourage and offer the children advice in addition helping them with their homework. I’m not saving the world, but I do try to make time to help out when I can. I’ve also volunteered with other organizations, but they aren’t geared towards specifically helping Black girls. So my comment wasn’t me trying to say that folks should only talk b/c I do try to do more than just talk in my daily life. I should have been a bit more clear.

        • APA says:

          Your point is well taken. Sometimes it’s hard to understand the way some Black girls and women were raised. I don’t believe my fellow readers are negligent that’s not the impression that I meant to give off in my post.

  22. Truth P. says:

    Khadija,I hope this is in line with the post.If I am off topic my apologies in advance.

    I lived in one of those hell holds and was put in a position where I had to practiced some survival tactics.
    Here are my suggestions for young black girls and women.

    1.Never walk alone late at night in your community.Always walk with someone who actually cares about your well being.
    Walking with someone you just met at the bus stop or some random girl from the neighborhood is not good enough.There could be a situation where a car filled with black males pull up beside you and the girl you barely know but the girl may know the men inside.The males may try to get you to go with them and the girl may get in the car.You might try to reject them by not getting in the car and decide to walk home, but the men may not accept you rejecting the ride, and you can be kidnapped by the men that your bus stop friend knows.
    AND they may use her to help them do bad things to you.
    This has happened in real life so be careful and choose your friends wisely.If your friend is known to hang out with scum you are at risk.If they are preying on her,using her up,having sex with her, they’ll try to do the same thing with her friends and use her as a recruiter for more PREY=YOU!

    2.Carry mase and a box cutter and keep it in your pants pockets NOT your purse.You’ll need to grab for it quickly.Sometimes people can take your weapon away from you and use them against you.You must learn how to maintain control and possession of your weapons at all times.

    3.Cover your body,never try to draw attention to yourself by looking cute.Walk around with a serious look on your face.Smiles attract people,you are in the kind of community where you want to repel people.

    4.If you are walking home,even in broad daylight, and you see a group of black males standing in a group along the same street you are walking CROSS THE STREET!

    5.Walk with your head UP to be able to see everyone and everything going on around you.Still avoid eye contact with people.Periodically look over both shoulders as you walk home.
    WALK AS FAST AS YOU CAN WITHOUT APPEARING TO RUN.DON’T DRAW ATTENTION TO YOURSELF BY RUNNING HOME EVERYDAY. THIS MAY INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF SOMEONE BOTHERING YOU BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU ARE SCARED.

    6.CARRY A CELL PHONE AT ALL TIMES AND NEVER FORGET TO KEEP IT CHARGED!
    a.THE CELL PHONE MUST BE KEPT IN YOUR POCKET WHERE IT CAN BE EASILY REACHED!
    b.POLICE SHOULD BE PUT ON SPEED DIAL!YOU SHOULD ONLY NEED TO PUSH ONE OR TWO BUTTONS ON YOUR PHONE TO GET THE POLICE.
    c.LEARN HOW TO DIAL 911 WITH YOUR CELL PHONE IN YOUR POCKET!
    LEARN HOW TO DIAL WITHOUT HAVING TO ACTUALLY LOOK AT YOUR PHONE.
    d.ALWAYS CALL WHEN YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY HOME AND LET THEM KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND ABOUT HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE YOU TO GET HOME.

    7.This kinda goes with #1 and 3.DON’T hang with any easy targets or people that are very susceptible to harassment.
    Don’t hang with your flamboyant gay friend in public.
    Don’t hang with your loose/fast/tight clothes wearing girl friend you’ve known since elementary school.

    8.Become a reclusive person.Only leave out of your house to walk to and from school or work!Never hang out in your community!

    9.Don’t wear anything new.Never appear to have money.

    10.Find out the names of the policemen who patrol your community the most.Always say yes sir and no sir on any occasion where you may need to speak to them.Always listen to them and appear to be listening in a studious manner and don’t interrupt them as they are talking.Get some Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards/certificates so that whenever you need to call them for help you have something to give them as appreciation for their assistance.Ask them for information on self defense training classes.They may offer free classes or can send you to another place.

    11.If you have to run and are being chased, NEVER RUN IN A STRAIGHT LINE!Running in Z formation and circles may be best in most cases.Run into the street or into traffic if you have to.Never run behind a building in most cases it’s best to be seen.In some cases finding somewhere to hide may be best.

    12.If you get caught by a male keep in mind that he is most likely stronger than you but he has sensitive areas.Aim at the penis,eyes,throat.

    13.Be prayerful and always call on God while SCREAMING NO!HELP!,RUNNING,AND FIGHTING.

    • TruthP.,

      Your comment is totally on-topic and on-point. Good God Almighty…{sigh} Your entire comment was extremely helpful, but I’d like to amplify this part where you said:

      Walking with someone you just met at the bus stop or some random girl from the neighborhood is not good enough.There could be a situation where a car filled with black males pull up beside you and the girl you barely know but the girl may know the men inside.The males may try to get you to go with them and the girl may get in the car.You might try to reject them by not getting in the car and decide to walk home, but the men may not accept you rejecting the ride, and you can be kidnapped by the men that your bus stop friend knows.
      AND they may use her to help them do bad things to you.
      This has happened in real life so be careful and choose your friends wisely.If your friend is known to hang out with scum you are at risk.If they are preying on her,using her up,having sex with her, they’ll try to do the same thing with her friends and use her as a recruiter for more PREY=YOU!

      “Orphaned” (and really, at this point ALL) AA girls need to also be taught that there are a LOT of other Black women and girls who will try to set them up to be molested and raped. And like you said, a lot of times BM monsters will use these depraved and destroyed BW and Black girls to lure and recruit new BF vicitms for them to molest and rape.

      Expect Success!

  23. Truth P. says:

    I don’t want to entertain the idea of a girl getting caught by a rapist and being raped but if a girl is living around a bunch of rapists it still can happen even if she takes many precautions.

    With that said,It is important for these girls to be on birth control just in case they do get caught.You don’t want to have a rapists baby.

    What about female condoms?
    I don’t know much about them but could they help a young lady who is being raped?I heard about the lady who invented the condoms with teeth in South Africa.

    Can we promote this as a way of protecting from diseases in a situation where a young lady is raped?

    Or would female condom use be detrimental toward bringing a case against the rapist?

    I’m of the mindset that most of these males will be supported by the community as a whole and there may never be a case against them because so many rapes go unreported and some many black girls rape victims are unsupported by their own family members.The girl is not likely to get justice but she can at least be protected from diseases.
    Right or wrong?Just brainstorming here.

  24. pioneervalleywoman says:

    Here is a good video for young children:

    STRANGER DANGER
    The Safe Side Stranger Safety DVD
    Stranger Safety DVD By John Walsh of Americas Most Wanted and Julie Clark of The Baby Einstein Company – The Safe Side DVD

    • Pioneervalleywoman,

      That sounds like a great DVD!
      _________________________________

      Everybody,

      Okay, who’s going to commit to asking to have a movie event with some popcorn, and showing this DVD to the children in their church?

      Don’t everybody volunteer at once. {smile}

      Expect Success!

      • Truth P. says:

        Well, I am already apart of the Victims of Crime org.Rape and crime prevention is something taught on a regular basis.In April we will reconvene our sessions.VOC also focuses on violent crime and rape PREVENTION and the group I am in is comprised of only women.We also have classes in different community centers that are filled with children and their after school monitors,teachers,and some counselors.I will purchase this video,along with some goodies, for two different community centers as they do have televisions and dvd players, s well as vcr’s, in their small gyms/auditoriums.These community centers are mostly in low income predominantly black neighborhoods.

        • TruthP.,

          {loud, sustained standing ovation}

          That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

          Expect Success!

  25. halima says:

    Khadija

    It is true that these girls are essentially orphans. The overarching community social order should make rape too costly in order for the predators to stay in check (I am of the school of thought that rape is not just power but also opportunity). the numbers of predators i can imagine, must just continue to grow exponentialy as the idea that ‘there are no or few penalties’ is established over and over.

    Anyone educating black girls must in addition to all else, make it all explicit as to why they will be targeted, Like: ‘baby girl, they know no one will come out and defend you as a black girl,’ or ‘they know folks will want you to hush it up, so you don’t send another brother to jail.’ The black racio-misogyny angle must be spelt out clearly for young black girls to see how the situation is laid out (the devaluing of bw in society particularly within community means she is readily targetted for misuse).!

    It might hurt the black girls feelings to start with, but it might just make their self preservation instinct kick into high gear as they realize that there is a system breakdown and thus it is in their hands really, to save themselves!

    • Halima,

      The refusal to acknowledge (or let it truly sink in) that these Black girls are orphans are another part of what makes this molestation and rape pandemic possible.

      This deliberate cluelessness allows people to feel comfy while talking about what these girls’ families should be teaching them. Or what these girls’ families should do in response to the girls’ outcries about the sexual assaults they suffer. When they know (or should know) d*mn well that nobody in these girls’ families will ever do ANY of that.

      To acknowledge that NOBODY in these girls’ families or immediate environment is ever going to say or do anything to support their survival puts Hot Air Blowers and Empty Venters in an awkward spot. Since nobody else is going to actually do anything to help these girls survive, then it becomes put up or shut up time for the Hot Air Blowers.

      All the Lovely Theories and Good Ideas about what these girls need to taught is absolutely worthless without anybody who’s willing to do some type of outreach to teach these girls these things. Actually, all this talk becomes a sick joke unless there’s somebody willing to follow up on the talk.

      Expect Success!

  26. formavitae says:

    That was AWESOME to watch! I had already decided to make sure my kids were involved in activities that would keep them fit and healthy (e.g. soccer, horseback riding). But, this activity really is “functional” and would be beneficial for helping one (try to) escape dangerous situations. It’s good to learn about alternatives to martial arts. Martial arts are good for “fight”, but parkour would be good for “flight”.

    As I watched this girl, I realized how important it is not to have excess body weight. It would be difficult to perform those jumps, flips, etc., if you had to lift excessive pounds of mass against the force of gravity. I would honestly like to be able to do the same things that girl was doing, but I need to lose more mass. I’ve been focusing on health and aesthetics, but this video reminds me that it’s a safety issue as well. Unfortunately, we black females have to focus on protecting ourselves from the rest of the black community. I don’t think people on the “outside” understand that our women and girls REALLY ARE “prey”. We need to do whatever we can to try to insure our safety, survival, and success.

  27. Everybody,

    If nobody reports in to let us know what they’re going to DO to try to communicate and implement all the Good Idea Hot Air that folks are blowing during this conversation, then I’m going to close the comments to this post approximately 12 hours from now (at 7:00 a.m. Central time). With no new posts until the weekly Friday Finishing School.

    Furthermore, in approximately 40 minutes from now (at 8:00 p.m. Central time), I’m going to start refusing to publish any more All Talk, No Commitment To Taking Action comments. So, folks have about 40 minutes left for empty hot air.

    Showing the DVD that PioneerValleyWoman mentioned at one’s own church is a small, no-cost, low-time-investment sort of step in the right direction. If nobody’s willing to lift a finger to do something as small as that, then why are we bothering to flap our lips about the pandemic of sexual molestation and rape among AAs?

    With matters as serious as this one, I don’t have time to waste listening to folks do the traditional AA empty venting, theorizing, and pontificating. Like I said earlier, there are plenty of other places that will indulge that sort of thing with matters of this magnitude.

    Expect Success!

  28. Jules says:

    I am going out in left field here, but I think one practical thing would be intuition training. Too often we don’t listen to our intuition which is our most basic warning system. The thing about intuition is that it can be an extremely advanced warning system, where you may get the message long before the danger ever shows up, so you can be well prepared. Tapping into some of the non-physical resources that our Creator provided whether through; intuition, prayer, or guided meditation can save us years of sorrows.

    Already a success.

  29. Everybody,

    If you submit a comment after 8:00 p.m. (Central time), and it does not get posted, please see my comment dated March 13, 2011 at 7:21 pm for the full explanation of why it was deleted.

    Let me repeat the explanation here: Starting in about 4 minutes, I’m only going to post those comments in which the commenter is saying what they’re going to DO. If nobody writes in to commit to DOING something, then I’m going to close the comments to this post at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow morning (Central time).

    Expect Success!

  30. Reese says:

    OK Khadijah,

    I have been working on this all day and came up with a possible solution. I contacted my local Boys and Girls club and asked if I could sponsor a “Self-Defense and Safety Night” for girls ages 10-13. Here is the email I sent, feel free to use it to contact your own local chapter to try and set up something similar:

    Dear (insert name of administrator listed on website, if known):

    My name is _______ and I am a local community member interested in sponsoring a “Self-Defense and Safety Night” for girls ages 10-13. Due to the recent national coverage of sexual assaults against girls in this age range, I think it is very important to impart as much wisdom, knowledge and practical advice as possible. During the event we will watch a DVD entitled “Stranger Safety” created by John Walsh of America’s Most Wanted fame. I would also like to invite a member of the local police department to the event to briefly discuss ways in which girls can report assaults, attempted assaults or any safety concerns they may have. I will promote the event, provide all audio/visual needs as well as refreshments for the girls and their chaperones. I look forward to discussing this with you further and hope we can find a time in the very near future to bring this life-saving information to young girls.

    Please give me a call at ————- at your earliest convenience. Also, if there are any liability issues that would need to be handled, please let me know.

    Sincerely,
    Blah Blah Blah

    Now, it is Sunday so I don’t expect to hear back until tomorrow or Tuesday and if I don’t I will make the trip down there to see someone in person. If you need to find a local chapter of the BGCA just go to their website:

    http://bgca.org/whoweare/Pages/FindaClub.aspx

    OK, that was step one. I then ordered the DVD Pioneer Valley Woman mentioned and looked into a few others. Lastly, I called my local precint to see if they could loan me a cop or two for the night if it comes together. No problems at all there. As soon as I have the date they will schedule the event in for their outreach division. Easy peesy. So between the DVDs and refreshments from Costco I don’t think the event will cost me more than $100 which in my opinion is well worth it. I have spent more on really meaningless stuff.

    So this is my plan. Hopefully I can get the club to agree to everything (don’t know the political environment so we will have to see) and then it is a matter of spreading the word. Since so many kids are already there afterschool I don’t think I will have a problem with attendance. The reason I specified an age group was because I didn’t want people bringing toddlers (y’all know how black folks can be) that may cause all types of disruption and won’t really benefit. Plus I want the girls to feel comfortable and it helps when people are your own age.

    I will definitely let you all know how it goes and if i have any luck. If the BGCA isn’t willing I will move on to other afterschool programs.

    Is there anything else I am overlooking? I feel like this is a stab in the dark!

  31. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    I am not a member of a church and am uncomfortable with trying to speak at schools, but I did Google and find two Christian ministries for BW and girls that focuses on self esteem and empowerment.

    They are both headed by women and they have nothing listed regarding safety. So I will plan my approach for contacting them this week.

  32. Reese and Oshun/Aphrodite,

    {loud, sustained standing ovation}

    That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! And Reese, that email was grrr-eat! {imitating Tony the Tiger}

    By taking action, you two have kept the conversation open for the rest of the week (for yourselves and anybody else who takes action to report back on any responses to your inquiries). As much as I expect that folks will want to write in to congratulate you and express their thanks, I’m not going to publish those comments.

    Because the boundaries that I set for this conversation going forward still stand. From 8:00 p.m. tonight going forward, the microphone for this conversation is ONLY only open for commenters who are taking action. And for such people to report back on their activities.

    Ladies, THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you both!

    Expect Success!

    • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

      Thank you Khadija! You always get the wheels turning for me.

      Reese that is an awesome email. Thank you for sharing it! It definitely gives me some ideas for approaching them.

  33. Felicia says:

    I just came across a non-profit organization called JUST YELL FIRE and it teaches girls to fight back against predators and sexual assault.

    http://www.justyellfire.com/index.php

    I’m going to send a donation and email Maggie Jessup who is the Executive Director and request a DVD.

    Although I don’t belong to a church here in the Midwest, my mom is very active in her church back home in the Bay Area and is involved with helping the youth. So I’m going to send it to her and she can show that DVD at her church and it could be of some help.

    The film can be viewed for free at website.

    • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

      Thank you for sharing this Felicia! This looks like a wonderful resource. I am adding it to my list of resources to donate.

    • Felicia,

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

  34. Neecy says:

    Well Khadija,

    I am happy to report that thanks to the BWE bloggers I have met two Black women (on the blogs) whom I am working with now.

    BW need to be re -educated on why we must as a gender focus on our needs. We are being attacked in every way and we don’t know what to do.

    One BW who lives near me (whom I met through Halimas blog) we met and had lucnh last week. We discussed what part/role we want to play in changing things for BW and we have come up with doing a documentary. We are in the early stages of getting things developed but we met, talked and are activley coming up with a documentary that fouses on the current and historical issues that have been affecting BW in this country for decades. We even discussed interviewing some of the BWE bloggers and some participants for this (of course if they are open to it). We even talked about you, but then came to the conclusion that you are a very private person and like to keep your BWE activism seperate:)

    We have discussed possibly having input from some of the BWE bloggers who really started the movement. Evia, Halima, Gina etc.

    Either way, we have a great plan for interviewing some very influential BW and I will keep you and everyone posted on our progress.

    After the recent news of the atrocities of common gang rapes in BC I am leaning towards a documentary that focuses on the sexual abuse of BW in America. One that hopefully gets the message out there that enough is enough and its up to BW to protect our young girls.

    The other BW I met on another BWE blog I spoke with this morning about a magazine. She lives on the East Coast and we are going to work on starting a magazine. In light of recent events we both decided that this magazine will focus on the needs of BW and girls.

    Just so happens I am going to be on the East cost next week and i will get to meet this woman face to face fo the first time.

    I’m excited! I am finally doing something after all these years.

    I will keep my BWE family abreast of things….

    • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

      Congratulations and much success Neecy!

    • Neecy,

      Even though I’m delighted to hear of your progress, I almost didn’t publish your comment because it’s on the borderline of what I’m looking for going forward during this conversation. Your comment only seems tangentially related to the sort of action that I’m looking for audience members to take.

      I’m NOT saying that you’re doing this (and I’m NOT saying that the reader whose somewhat similar comment I deleted was doing this)—but I don’t want folks writing in to promote movies or other entertainment products that they were already doing that have only the slightest, most tenuous connection to teaching orphaned Black girls the sorts of survival ideas that readers have mentioned during this conversation.

      I’m looking for some IMMEDIATE actions in support of the ideas that many of the readers have come up with. Not a movie, play, song, or whatever else like that which might get produced a year from now.

      I’m not discounting the value of these longer-term projects. But my thing is: How many more orphaned Black girls will get molested and raped before these longer-term projects come to fruition? Meanwhile, there are some immediate things that folks can do—like showing that DVD that PioneerValleyWoman mentioned—that might help save some orphaned Black girls from getting raped next week or next month.

      You said, “We even talked about you, but then came to the conclusion that you are a very private person and like to keep your BWE activism seperate:)”

      This is very true! 🙂 Although, I do appreciate the thought.

      You said, “I’m excited! I am finally doing something after all these years. I will keep my BWE family abreast of things….”

      I’m delighted to hear it!

      Expect Success!

  35. Everybody,

    Let me be clear: I’m NOT asking to hear about what anybody is going to do and/or doing for themselves and their own children. Any true Sojourner is already handling her own business—Sojourners’ children are already being protected and taken care of. I just deleted a comment in which the commenter talked about what she’s doing for herself and her kids.

    What I want to hear about is what actions folks are going to take in order to communicate the survival ideas readers came up with to orphaned Black girls.

    Expect Success!

  36. MesaATLien says:

    Khadija, I must say thank you for keeping me on my toes. Sometimes I find myself , thinking I don;t have the power or the resources to make things happen, but as a Sojourner, I have to remember to periodically give myself a good boot in the pants and be proactive!!

    As such, I have emailed my University’s (which is also the city’s) Police Department and requested that they hold self defense classes for all women on campus to protect themselves. I have also emailed my school’s program council with a slightly different email for more safety events on campus. I have a friend who helps run a service organization here, so I will speak with her and see if we can organize a screening of the suggested movie at the Boys and Girls Club here and get the Police Department involved as well. Also, my school has a huge population of ROTC women that I just realized I can contact and request some self-defense sessions as well!

    This is more of a general/young women letter, but this is the best I can do for now. There was a recent death penalty conviction of a guy who killed a student who went here, so I think this letter will be timely. Also, to my fellow undergrads, you can use this letter to email the police department on your campuses to spread the word. We are on spring break right now, so after I send this email (with the urgent label), I will send another when school resumes.

    My name is (MY NAME), and I am a student at (NAME) University. The recent conviction of (CONVICT’S NAME) and the increasing attacks on young women across the country have prompted me to write this email to you. While young women like I receive messages to travel in groups or don’t walk alone at night, I feel that these pieces of advice are no longer acceptable as the sole means of protecting the women on campus and around (CITY NAME). The unfortunate incidence with (STUDENT’S NAME) may have been a rare occurrence, but violent acts against young women are becoming more commonplace, especially on university campuses. While we can do all we can to stay safe, sometimes a young woman will get caught in a wrong situation, and I believe she’ll need more than pieces of information to keep herself safe.

    I am requesting that the (CITY NAME) Police Department periodically hold self-defense classes for all women on campus to educate us on how to better protect ourselves. I suggest holding these types of classes especially when there is an influx of new students who are on their own for the first time. There are tons of free fitness classes at the activities center, which a majority of women attend anyways, so there should be no reason why there shouldn’t be at least one self-defense class held on campus.

    If this sad incidence with (STUDENT’S NAME) has taught us anything, it is that (CITY NAME) may be a fairly safe town, but anything can happen at a moment’s notice, and that we should prepare ourselves for all situations.

    • MesaATLien,

      You said, “Khadija, I must say thank you for keeping me on my toes. Sometimes I find myself , thinking I don;t have the power or the resources to make things happen, but as a Sojourner, I have to remember to periodically give myself a good boot in the pants and be proactive!!”

      Taking comfort in feeling powerless is the easy thing to do. It’s also a mental habit that’s widely celebrated among AAs. Most of what passes for political wisdom among AAs revolves around embracing powerlessness.

      You said, “As such, I have emailed my University’s (which is also the city’s) Police Department and requested that they hold self defense classes for all women on campus to protect themselves. I have also emailed my school’s program council with a slightly different email for more safety events on campus.”

      This is a VERY good thing, although it’s not quite what I’m looking for during this conversation—because college students are adults who have the ability to choose where they live. I’m focused on the orphaned Black girls who are literally whose parents have them trapped living in Black residential areas with the legions of BM monsters who also live there.

      You said, “I have a friend who helps run a service organization here, so I will speak with her and see if we can organize a screening of the suggested movie at the Boys and Girls Club here and get the Police Department involved as well.”

      Now that’s what I’m looking for!

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

  37. MesaATLien says:

    Alright folks, my idea train is running now! I did myself a little research, and I found that our student counseling service has an outreach program (YAY!), but I’m having trouble finding where exactly they go to hold program sessions. SO, I have to wait until school resumes to do this, but I will schedule an appointment with one of the counselors and stop by their offices to gather more information on this. Here are the categories for the types of sessions they offer:

    Health, Wellness, & Risk Reduction Workshops
    Learning Skills Workshops
    Personal Growth Workshops
    Relationships (I think this one is for the college age students, LOL)

    So not only do they have prevention workshops and individual counseling for sexual assault victims, they have tons of other useful information so that young black girls as you’ve described won’t be walking blind.

  38. Browncow says:

    I haven’t read the entire thread yet but I feel the same way about these girls living in Black war zones. They need to be physically fit enough to get away from dangerous situations. It’s sad that it’s come to this, but this is how it is. My husband frequents this website that has lots of different products for the “fighting military man” type, but they do have this one product that I’m getting called Inferno Pepper Spray.

    http://www.coldsteel.com/pepper-spray.html

    This stuff will stop a grown man cold. They’ll be gasping for air, incapacitated for quite some time while you make your escape. It’s not your normal pepper spray. You can get it on a key chain, a small pocket sprayer for your pocket book and the “I’m just going to plow down a team of punks” size. They have demo videos and everything. The perp doesn’t even have to get that close to you for you to use it. I’m getting one for my car, my key chain, and my purse. So besides being physically fit enough to run away, I’d douse the punk with some of that pepper spray and then run like Hades is after me.

    • Browncow,

      I made an exception in publishing your comment, because the product you’re mentioning might possibly (IF legal in their jurisdiction, and in certain specific situations) make an IMMEDIATELY helpful gift for some orphaned Black teenage girl in some audience members’ orbits.

      I’m not going to make any other exceptions. Let’s stay on point.

      If you submit another comment and it does not get posted, please see my comment dated March 13, 2011 at 7:21 pm for the full explanation of why it was deleted.

      Expect Success!

  39. KM says:

    I’m going to order that video and next month, when the kids are on Spring Break from school, one of those days, either a Tuesday or Wednesday, we’re going to watch and discuss the video. That’s just the beginning.

    • KM,

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

  40. Vanessa F. says:

    I am not the member of any house of worship at this point of my life, however, I am an advisory council member at my city’s library system. This system provides a ton of cultural activities, film screenings, etc for all age groups. All of the branches have film viewing capabilities/rooms that are of use for community groups. The next advisory council meeting is coming up this soon and I will discuss holding this type of event at at least 1 of the branches. Several of the branches in my city are located in neighborhoods where the girls are in danger and need to know this information.

    For the ladies who are not affiliated with a church, this may be the way to go in your town.

    Being that it is the library, I am sure it will be relatively easy for me to get my hands on a copy of this dvd.

  41. Felicia says:

    Hey ya’ll,

    Quick update. I just received and email from Ms. Jessup and she’s sending the DVD today. It’s being sent directly to my mom and she’s really interested in showing it.

    I talked with her this morning and explained this current situation and she honestly didn’t know just how deep this sickness (BM deviance and the acceptance, and defense of it) went.

    She was in a state of shock and was saying how can anyone defend these rapists? And I said because they’re monsters mom. That’s why. Only a monster defends evil.

    To a normal mind, it’s just incomprehensible.

    They’re only reporting local atrocities these days so while she was aware of the local crimes (mostly being committed by DBRBM), she had no idea about the atrocities involving the 11 year olds. And how the monsters in those “communities” were defending the creatures.

    A lot of decent, moral, old school black people who only associate with other sane black people, are totally out of the loop and aren’t fully processing/understanding the fact that the black community (and sense of safety, love, and acceptance) that they group up in is truly dead.

    Or, they’re in denial. I don’t know.

    It’s really a heartbreaking situation if you look at it. Tragic.

    Anyway, even if we don’t have direct contact with black girls in eminent danger for various and legitimate reasons, we can STILL get the word out through BW who do.

    Women “in the trenches” so to speak.

    And there are a lot of resources out there for free. It’s just a matter of connecting with the right people who have the right access.

    Thank you Khadija for setting a fired under our behinds to do something even if small.

    Because the handwringing and whaling I’ve read at other blogs lately – without action – is useless in the end.

    • Felicia,

      You said, “Because the handwringing and whaling I’ve read at other blogs lately – without action – is useless in the end.”

      Some REAL TALK: AAs’ mostly empty handwringing and wailing about these atrocities isn’t just useless—it’s DISGUSTING.

      Here’s why: Because this behavior is the ethical equivalent of standing around gaping at a horrific car crash. If you’re not going to lift a pinky finger to DO something to help the stricken victims, then you need to disperse from the accident scene. Don’t stand around staring, pointing, and giving lectures about emergency medicine while you passively watch somebody bleed to death.

      Standing around staring at dying people is what Do-Nothing Negroes and Colored Girls are actually doing when they engage in their long-winded theoretical lectures and fake outrage about these atrocities.

      All of that do-nothing, empty lecturing about the mechanisms of sexual abuse/assault that a lot of y’all engaged in yesterday . . . was the SAME thing as a gaper standing around lecturing other gapers about the human circulatory system . . . while they all stand around passively watching the accident victims bleed to death. Without lifting a finger to help the bleeding victims.

      And I say “fake” outrage because if you’re not moved to DO anything but give lectures in response to these atrocities, well then you’re really not outraged. No, you’re not outraged . . . instead, you’re titillated.

      And that undercurrent of titillation that flows through many of y’all’s do-nothing scholarly lectures about what “somebody” needs to tell these orphaned Black girls has been p*ssing me off. Because it’s sordid and foul. That undercurrent of titillation has been flowing through many, if not most, of the Black blog discussions I’ve seen about the latest atrocity. A lot Do-Nothing Negroes and Colored Girls get an emotional thrill off of discussing this type of filth.

      I’m not titillated by these atrocities, nor by discussions of these atrocities. I’ve already been doing my little part in the real world, so I’m not titillated like some of y’all are by these types of discussions.

      I prefer not to spend much time talking about foul types of things unless I’m also prepared to take some sort of action. What’s the point of flapping one’s lips about something, if one is unwilling to take some type of action? I’m not going to metaphorically keep putting my hands on something as nasty and squalid as these atrocities unless I have to in order to do something about these atrocities. And once I’ve taken action, I’m generally done talking about it—especially with people who are do-nothing gapers.

      Felicia, you said, “Thank you Khadija for setting a fired under our behinds to do something even if small.”

      You’re welcome, and THANK YOU for taking action! I’m hoping that other folks will take action like you did, and STOP being atrocity gapers. I know a lot of readers are irritated because I ruined their little Titillation Festival for this conversation by demanding immediate action in support of all their do-nothing, empty lecturing about the mechanisms of sexual abuse/assault.

      I’m happy I threw some cold water on that particular do-nothing party…it was making me sick to my stomach listening to all that empty talk about something as grave as this subject matter.

      Like I said, I’m not titillated by these atrocities, nor by discussions of these atrocities. This is the last time I’m going to devote a blog post to these gang rape atrocities. I and other BWE bloggers have been telling y’all for years to FLEE Black residential areas. There’s nothing more left to say about that. All that’s left is whatever ACTION individuals are going to take. The do-nothing AAs who flock to discussions of these atrocities are atrocity gapers standing around lecturing other gapers.

      Expect Success!

  42. *I don’t appreciate the way a lot of y’all are TOTALLY IGNORING the boundary I set yesterday for any further comments on this thread*

    I’ve had to delete over 10 comments since last night. For those who haven’t bothered to read the entire thread and are blindly submitting comments, see my comment dated March 13, 2011 at 7:21 pm for the full explanation of the guidelines for this thread.

    *If you continue submitting comments that fall outside the standard I mentioned in the earlier comment I just referenced above, you WILL be permanently banned from commenting on this blog*

    For the 2 readers who submitted comments that I didn’t feel were meant to be disrespectful of the guidelines (unlike the rest of them that I deleted):

    Reader #1: As compelling as your account of your experience with a monster is—and as outraged as I am to hear of your experience—it does not fit within the standard I’ve set for ongoing comments in this thread.

    Reader #2: As much as I appreciate you making a donation (especially since you’re living overseas) to the organization that Felicia mentioned in her comment—and your graciousness in thanking her for mentioning the group—it does not fit within the standard I’ve set for ongoing comments in this thread.

    I’m only posting comments from readers who are actually DOING something to get some of the life-saving ideas and information other readers mentioned to orphaned Black girls. Writing a check is NOT sufficient for those readers who live in the US—that does not count as doing anything for the purposes of this conversation.

    Expect Success!

  43. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    I sent an email to the 2 ministries today and I am hoping I get a positive response.

  44. APA says:

    MesaATLien idea to contact campus organizations to see if they would be interested in conducting programs for kids in the community got me thinking. In the past, our police department has held self-defense classes at different resident halls. I’ve even organized one along with other RAs at my residence hall. I like the idea of contacting the local Boys and Girls Club to see if they would be interested in having the university or city police department hold a similar event. We’re on Spring Break right now, but once classes start back on Monday I will definitely begin contacting people. The logistics that go along with organizing such an event are really simple, so I really need to be ashamed that I haven’t taken the initiative to put together an event. The main police officer at our residence hall loves putting together programs on safety and self-defense and is always begging the RAs to schedule programs where he can come and talk to the girls, so he wouldn’t mind going to the local Boys and Girls Club to talk to the kids.

    • APA,

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      You said, “The logistics that go along with organizing such an event are really simple, so I really need to be ashamed that I haven’t taken the initiative to put together an event. The main police officer at our residence hall loves putting together programs on safety and self-defense and is always begging the RAs to schedule programs where he can come and talk to the girls, so he wouldn’t mind going to the local Boys and Girls Club to talk to the kids.”

      Unlike most others, AAs are an extremely passive ethnic group. Being a car crash gaper-type of person who passively stands around waiting to see what, if anything, somebody else is going to do about the car crash victims has become the norm for most AAs. The good thing is that self-efficacy becomes habit-forming. Once a person first breaks out of that mass AA-crash-gaper mindset, they usually don’t go back to it. {smile}

      Expect Success!

  45. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    I heard back. One ministry I am leaving alone. They weren’t interested and wanted a donation. I will contact some sororities and the boys and girls club.

    The other ministry seemed open, but was noncommittal. They informed me have just partnered up with a natl org that has ties to T.P. Which I guess is good, but if they have ties to that non healed sexual abuse survivor God help those girls.

    So I emailed her back and stressed how important I felt this was and reiterated how I would donate some resources/host – so I am awaiting a response.

    • Oshun/Aphrodite,

      {shaking my head in dismay} Lord have mercy… {more head shaking}

      What you’re describing of these 2 ministries’ reactions is part of the dysfunctional AA cultural “infrastructure” that helps make this pandemic of sexual molestation, rape, and gang rape among AAs possible. I’m certain that if you’re persistent, you’ll eventually find a suitable forum for a showing of the DVD. [Although what you’re describing isn’t exactly surprising to anybody who’s familiar with “mainstream” AA thought, it IS ridiculous.]

      Expect Success!

      • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

        “What you’re describing of these 2 ministries’ reactions is part of the dysfunctional AA cultural “infrastructure” that helps make this pandemic of sexual molestation, rape, and gang rape among AAs possible.”

        You know this was kind of in the back of my mind when I was anticipating responses because I thought about the library response to your book.

        But fortunately, I got a yesss today with the 2nd organization! She told me that they were international now – so this information could potentially have a wide reach! She didn’t go into details concerning the international part, but I suppose with the connection to T.P. maybe?

        She told me we could do the viewing and have an online question and answer session afterwards. So I am thinking she may have the technology to broadcast in multiple locations.

        Now I have to get the logistical information and start planning!

  46. KimP says:

    Hi Khadija,

    How are you? Thank you for this awesome post and the call to action!

    I’m working with a friend of my sister’s, who was an abuse victim, to help young black girls empower and protect themselves. Halima mentioned in the comments about some of these things possibly hurting these young girls’ feelings, but we have to make this real for them. Many of these girls may still think it’s normal or some right of passage for grown men to show what we know as inappropriate attention to young girls. We can teach them that it’s not normal, which is the first step in teaching them to empower and protect themselves.

    Something that I’m doing to not only teach to protect themselves, but to wake them up and show them there are real predators out there is to show them the registered sex offenders in their area. This is public domain, so it’s not a problem to show them this data, it may scare them a bit, but it’s a harsh reality they need to see. Some of these girls live on the same street, in the same neighborhood or in the same zip code, whatever, they need to see this information.

    They may see some men they actually know, so be it, but we will instruct them not to disclose if they recognize anyone, and do not discuss this with family members, friends not at the meeting, try not to act too suspicious if they interact with anyone they spot on the list, etc.

    TruthP made some excellent points in her post of tips, God bless you Truth! We’re trying to teach some similar tactics. In addition, we want to give them personal alarms they can put on their key chains for easy access, bells to put on their windows, and I’m looking for some door stoppers with alarms because many of the attacks in my area result from these stupid mother’s letting predator boyfriend or the girls’ uncles and other male family members stay in their homes around their baby girls.

    I swear some of these women need to be up in these meetings too because they don’t even realize they’re handing their girls right on over to men who prey on little girls, but that’s something else altogether.

    Another thing is teaching these girls how to read people and recognize deception in body language, word choice, just general interactions. Many of these perps give themselves away in body language so if we can teach them how to spot those clues, that’s another tool in their protection arsenal. There are some good books such as Face Value and The Definitive Guide to Body Language that can help and show these girls some things they could be doing that a predator may take as a signal to place them in the “safe to attack” or “safe to abuse” category. They need to learn how these people target their victims!

    For those of you still searching for groups to help, don’t forget the Girl Scouts. They often welcome volunteers and I know in the South (don’t know about other areas) the troops still tend to segregate, so it shouldn’t be a challenge to find an all Black troop.

    Also if you were in the Beta Club or Jr. Beta Club, remember you’re a member for life, so if you can find a group at an all or predominately Black school, round up the girls and show them the Stranger Danger DVD Pioneervalleywoman shared.

    I apologize for the long post, but this is real! It’s happening everyday ladies(a recent attack in my area yesterday), just because it’s not gaining national attention like the recent incidents in Texas and Illinois, it’s still happening everyday.

    I’m moved to pass on the knowledge I got as a young girl to other young Black girls who’ll never get it from their mothers or family. That’s really unfortunate that their families aren’t equipping them with the knowledge that will enable them to spot a threat or predator and protect themselves from said threat, but as long as I’m able, I will continue to do my part to help these young girls save themselves.

    • KimP,

      I’m well, thanks so much for asking about me. 🙂

      You said, “I’m working with a friend of my sister’s, who was an abuse victim, to help young black girls empower and protect themselves.”

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

    • mobile68 says:

      KimP,
      If you don’t mind, could you give the names of the authors of the two books you recommended so I can make sure I’m ordering the correct books? Thanks.

      Also I recommend the book The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker.

      I can’t stress enough to my daughter & nieces when you’re out & about don’t be looking so harried & distracted. Use the whitsles I bought you in case of emergency. Pay attention to your surroundings. Look around & notice the people around you. If you’re having small conversation w/ a stranger, do more listening than talking. You be surprised how people tell on themselves when they’re talking.

      Before getting in my car I would, from a distance, check under the car before getting in. I passed this on to my kids now that they are driving.

      I’m going to sign up a my local YWCA for Domestic Violence Services volunteer next week, then see about conducting a 1 hr workshop at my community center to pass on the knowledge to the girls in my community. This has gone beyond ridiculous.

      From my experience, when dealing w/ folks in the AA “community” trying to give them some uplifting info can be a challenge. So I am stratagizing how can I:

      -get these girls to come in,

      -once they come in, retain & put to use the information that is being given to them.

      -somehow get their parents/guardians involved to reinforce the info and won’t try to discourage them from accepting & using this vital piece of information. I’ve seen this happen not only w/in AA families but in churches & social services agencies, particularly when ran by majority AAs.

      I’m beyond burned out trying to help my people who live to be apathetic victims. In spite of that, I’m reversing my focus to the young black girls. I feel that I got to do something to save those who didn’t ask to be put in these type of situations. From what I’m seeing if what’s is going now is ALLOWED to continue, I can see our group being displayed in a museum labled as EXTINCT w/in the next 2-3 generations from now.

      It is nice to come to a place where AA women freely share information as well as being proactive. Thank You all!

      • Mobile68,

        {loud, sustained standing ovation}

        That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

        Expect Success!

  47. Nysee says:

    Dear Khadija,
    I let my friend know to enroll her daughter in a self defense class and also to join her. I will be signing up for a class. Also, since Sring is around the corner, I have contacted the resource center how I can reserve space for a seminar or some sort. Every Black woman and black girl as well as teenagers will be directed to someone who is offering some type of self defense class. I realize that every time we reach one we are teaching one. As the word is passed down from people they know , they will at least have the information. I am going to share what I know as I am going forth. I will tell every Black woman and girl to not only check out the site but also speak with your dollars. The information is too valuable,when you can give your hard earned dollars you can give here and not only give but take action proclaiming to women that you have so many options made available to you.
    I will tell tem to take action in pocket book as well as deed.
    The bible says “faith without works is dead”
    so getto moving and ideas for other things will come because you will get the wheels to moving to make your life and another BW and Bg life better.
    Keep up the excellent work

    • Nysee,

      You said, “Also, since Sring is around the corner, I have contacted the resource center how I can reserve space for a seminar or some sort.”

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

  48. YMB says:

    Reese,

    Thanks for the excellent email template! I will be using it! I don’t have children nor do I live in the type of environment that we have been discussing, but I will identify a community group to reach out to to have a screening of the safety DVD.

    Khadija,
    I wish we had had this discussion earlier, because The Office of Women’s Health just recently closed their Request for Applications (RFA):Request for Applications (RFA): Reducing Health Disparities by Preventing Obesity among Minority and Underserved Women and Girls. This grant would have given up to $3,000 towards activities focused on obesity prevention in this population. This could have been used to start a program for young AA girls that would have addressed obesity in the form of physical activity through self-defense training, but also incorporated training in identifying predators/setting boundaries, etc. ‘

    There are a lot of organizations funding anti-obesity initiatives for children. I will start looking out for other such opportunities and see whom I can partner with to get a program off the ground. I have several ideas already.

    • YMB,

      You said, “I don’t have children nor do I live in the type of environment that we have been discussing, but I will identify a community group to reach out to to have a screening of the safety DVD.”

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      Expect Success!

    • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

      YMB- that sounds awesome!

      • YMB says:

        No, thank you, Khadija, for always moving it forward!

        Thanks, Oshun/Aphrodite.

        I also found another program based in Boston that is focused on teaching girls to protect themselves from predators, <Girls' LEAP.
        About LEAP Self-Defense, Inc. (d/b/a Girls’ LEAP)
        Founded in 1997 as a community response to violence against young women, Girls’ LEAP promotes the safety and well-being of girls in Boston’s underserved communities. The program provides self-defense and personal safety skills to 1,000 girls annually through partnerships with community organizations.

  49. Shesthedifferencemaker says:

    I haven’t dine much yet, but I used part of that email template (Thank you MesaATLien) posted here and sent an email to the Girl Scouts branch in my area asking if it would be possible to have some sort of ‘Self-Defense Movie Night’ to show the Safe Side Stranger Safety DVD. I expect to hear from them pretty soon since one of my organizations has worked with them previously.

    The group of girls that would be viewing the DVD (either I or the GS would purchase it) are juvies and as part of their punishment/sentence (idk what word to use here), they are required to attend a certain amount of Girl Scout meetings to be taught various lessons and are repeatedly encouraged to make better choices in the future. When my org previously worked with them, we did a lesson plan/activity about social entrepreneurship which was pretty successful as soon as the girls started to warm up to us. I hope to do the same thing with this lesson. (Intro lesson, show the DVD, then an activity to reinforce the lessons learned, see if some of the girls are up to sharing about themselves or someone they know who has been affected by this, etc)

    Out of the whole group of girls, I don’t think there was more than 4 black girls (the rest were Mexican), but it’s better than me sitting on my tush and watching these girls suffer. I say girls, but they looked to be pre-teens (11-14). I’ll never forget the one girl I met who couldn’t have been older than 13, who looked to be 2 months into her pregnancy. I shudder to think who the father of her baby is, but I’m guessing it is an adult man. IDK if it’s because I was sheltered from so much growing up, but seeing her in that state really upset me…

    The most important thing to do now is to save as many of these black girl’s lives before it’s too late. Thank you for the virtual kick in the rear. No more complaining AND not taking action!

    • Shesthedifferencemaker,

      {loud, sustained standing ovation}

      That’s wonderful news—please keep us posted! THANK YOU so much for taking action. May God bless you!

      You said, “Out of the whole group of girls, I don’t think there was more than 4 black girls (the rest were Mexican), but it’s better than me sitting on my tush and watching these girls suffer. I say girls, but they looked to be pre-teens (11-14). I’ll never forget the one girl I met who couldn’t have been older than 13, who looked to be 2 months into her pregnancy. I shudder to think who the father of her baby is, but I’m guessing it is an adult man. IDK if it’s because I was sheltered from so much growing up, but seeing her in that state really upset me…”

      That sort of thing IS an upsetting spectacle. And there are so many Impregnated By Adult BM Pedophiles 12, 13, and 14 year-old orphaned Black girls walking around Black residential areas. Most AA adults have trained themselves to not notice how many of such girls they see around them.

      You said, “The most important thing to do now is to save as many of these black girl’s lives before it’s too late. Thank you for the virtual kick in the rear. No more complaining AND not taking action!”

      You’re welcome! In addition to doing what we can (without doing any self-martyring mule work) to save some of these orphaned AA girls, there are some self-interested angles to taking action as well. I find it amazing that so many apathetic, do-nothing-but-vent AAs somehow think that their apathy and inaction in the face of these atrocities have gone unnoticed by nonblack others.

      Quiet as it’s kept, other people see purportedly sane and decent AA women’s total lack of response to these atrocities that are constantly happening all around them, and they draw their own conclusions about AA women. Similar to the behavior pattern of rallying around criminals and deviants, this Atrocity Gaper behavior pattern is also something that marks and stigmatizes those AA women engage in it.

      If one is not going to lift a pinky finger to do anything to help orphaned Black girls, then it’s best to pretend not to know about these ongoing atrocities. Because that Atrocity Gaper look is NOT a good look.

      Expect Success!

  50. Everybody,

    I’m going to publish the next blog post this upcoming Sunday. However, I’ll leave the comments section to this post open for the next two weeks.

    I’d like the action takers to continue to report back on what’s happening with their efforts during that time.

    Expect Success!