Semester At Sea

The Semester at Sea program is a wonderful opportunity for college-aged African-American women to complete a semester of coursework while traveling the world, and positioning themselves to enjoy everything the global village has to offer. There’s also a program for lifelong learners.

I greatly appreciate it when readers send me information about programs such as Semester at Sea. However, I wanted to make some things clear before I started publicly passing along this sort of information. Too many African-Americans automatically assume that having any and every other African-American go abroad is a good thing. It’s not. Not if that African-American person is making enemies for us, or otherwise damaging our collective image. I discussed these concerns during a post at the previous blog where I mentioned,

Stop Assuming that Black Men Ascending into Prominent Overseas Positions is a Good Thing

As a people, African-Americans just loooove to see a Black man get a prominent job. It makes us feel all warm and fuzzy. Our chests poke out, we raise our heads a little higher, and acquire a new bounce in our steps at such news.

We assume that having Black men in prominent positions is a good thing. We assume that more Black men having the ability to travel and live overseas is a good thing.

Sometimes Black men going overseas is not a good thing. In fact, in many cases it’s a VERY BAD thing. It’s very bad for our international image as Black people. It’s also very bad for this country’s national security.

DBRBM are busy making enemies overseas for the rest of us as African-Americans. They are busy making enemies for ALL Americans. We don’t realize this because, like most Americans, we don’t pay attention to international news stories.

But the foreigners that DBRBM harm remember. As well as their families, friends, and entire societies. The same way we remember atrocities committed by foreigners here.

Andrew Warren: Former CIA Station Chief in Algeria, Muslim Convert, Alleged Rapist

Consider the case of a Negro named Andrew Warren. As the Los Angeles Times story notes, until he was removed from his post, this individual served as the CIA’s top official in Algeria until late 2008. He had previously held high-level positions in Afghanistan and Egypt. Los Angeles Times, January 29, 2009, “CIA chief in Algeria recalled amid investigation”:

“Warren was described as a highly gifted officer, a convert to Islam who demonstrated a rare ability to blend in among Muslim communities across several countries.

‘He’s exactly the guy we need out in the field,’ said a senior U.S. government official who had met with the accused officer in Algiers last summer before the scandal emerged. ‘He’s African-American. He’s Muslim. He speaks the language. He seemed well put together, sharp and experienced.'”

[Yes, exactly the type of Black man that we get very excited about due his surface attributes. He is probably also yet another example of a DBRBM Sunni Muslim.]

The LA Times story notes that “Algeria is considered a top priority in the intelligence community because it has been a haven for Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb, a group that has pledged allegiance to Osama bin Laden’s terrorist network. The North African group was blamed for an August bombing outside Algiers that killed more than 40 people.”

It seems that this Negro was allegedly putting date rape drugs in women’s drinks, and then sexually assaulting them. [Shades of Dr. William H. Cosby, Ph.D.]

This story has also been covered by Al Jazeera: http://english.aljazeera.net/news/americas/2009/01/200912922550433383.html [Raised fist salute to our outstanding researcher, Lorraine, for bringing the Andrew Warren news story to my attention!]

This type of mess is at the high end. Pause for a moment to consider what the droves of low level DBRBM in the U.S. military are doing all over the planet. {shudder}

The Sorrows of Okinawa: U.S. Military Base = DBRBM Rapists’ Fraternity House

The list of rapes committed by U.S. servicemen in Okinawa is endless, and continues up to this day. I’ll focus on one incident that caused U.S. President Bill Clinton to have an emergency meeting with the Japanese Prime Minister.

From Wikipedia:

“The 1995 Okinawan rape incident refers to a rape that took place on September 4, 1995, when three U.S. servicemen, U.S. Navy Seaman Marcus Gill and U.S. Marines Rodrico Harp and Kendrick Ledet, all from Camp Hansen on Okinawa, rented a van and kidnapped a 12-year-old 6th-grade Japanese girl.

They beat her, duct-taped her eyes and mouth shut, and bound her hands. Gill and Harp then proceeded to rape her, while Ledet claims he only pretended to do so out of fear of Gill. The incident led to further debate over the continued presence of U.S. forces in Japan. ”

Of course, their relatives whined that there was racism involved in their prosecution.

From the November 6, 1995, New York Times story, “Accused Marines’ Kin Incredulous”: “‘It’s very disappointing and frustrating,’ said Kim Cannon, Private Ledet’s sister, who is a deputy sheriff in Fulton County, Ga. ‘It’s political and it’s racial. We’re all black and we all come from small towns. I’m looking at three young black men who may face life in prison, and I just don’t think this would be happening if they were white.'”

[Again, our familiar mantra: “young Black men.” Doesn’t your heart just bleed for them?]

Hmmm . . . Let’s see what happened after they all served their time in Japanese prisons (foreign prisons usually don’t play with inmates, by the way!):

From Wikipedia:

“The three men served prison terms in Japanese prisons and were released in 2003 and then given dishonorable discharges from the military. After release, Rodrico Harp decried prison conditions in Japan and said that the electronics assembly prison labor he was forced to do amounted to slave labor.” [Mournful sounds of violins playing in the background.]

“Ledet, who had claimed he did not rape the girl, died in 2006 in an apparent murder-suicide in the United States. He was found in the third-floor apartment of Lauren Cooper, a junior Kennesaw State University student and acquaintance whom he had apparently sexually assaulted and then murdered (by strangulation). It appears that he then took his own life by slashing his wrists.”

[Gee, I wonder what Ledet’s sister had to say after this final incident. Was this “political and racial” too? Yep. They all sure sound like innocent men who were convicted on trumped up charges. Right.]

We Must Make Ourselves Distinct From DBRBM and The “Acting Black” Crew

All of the above is yet another example of why we must make every effort to establish ourselves as separate and distinct from DBRBM and the negative “Acting Black” Crew. Often, we have no idea of the overall negative impression of Blacks that has already been established by these Black miscreants while they were overseas. You DON’T want to reap what these creatures have sown for ALL of us in foreign countries!

*Addendum*At minimum, we must STOP doing our traditional, knee-jerk “Let’s Rally Around Scum” dance. Including scum like the DBRBM (mentioned in the blog cited below) who raped several women while on duty and in uniform as a Los Angeles police officer. http://problemchylde.wordpress.com/2009/01/31/prison-reform-recidivism-and-reintegration/

*Update* For the curious, our intrepid researcher Lorraine has found a link with a picture of Ledet and his final victim. [Yes, she was White.] Here is the link :
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1689815/posts

The comments in the link point to another disturbing aspect of all of this: There might not be any mechanism in place to ensure that these creatures are automatically registered as sexual predators once they return to the United States. Lord have mercy.

Similar concerns apply to random African-American women

Please screen every young woman before you mention the Semester at Sea program to her. It’s NOT helpful to future Sojourners to recommend these programs to young African-American women like former Harvard students Brittany Smith (who was indicted earlier this year) or Chanequa Campbell. Or young African-American women like Kemba Smith.

Here’s what’s going to happen if we continue sending young African-American women like the above into other settings: Eventually, White universities and programs will complete the process of replacing African-American students with foreign-origin Blacks. Which was discussed at the previous blog during the post Charity Should Begin At Home, Part 1-Study: Universities Prefer Foreign Black Students. Quiet as it’s kept, universities know the average African young woman is not going to move men into her dorm room, or bring drug dealers onto a campus, or allegedly hide drug dealers’ guns on campus.

So, please . . . don’t squander these precious opportunities by blindly recommending them to African-American women who believe the world owes them something. Or who are unable to listen with humility.

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33 Responses to “Semester At Sea”

  1. Brittany says:

    I remember these incidents…there was a quite a ruckus surrounding them locally. I also remember the 2006 incident–I don’t think the news articles I read mentioned Ledet’s history, that is news to me *shaking my head*.

    This does raise a very good point-as [certain] black women are on the cusp of taking the lead in lifting the reputation of black women, we need to do also run damage control, since as the saying goes, it only takes one bad apple to spoil a whole bunch.

    At the very least, the bad apples need to be called out as such and appropriate public distancing measures taken.

  2. Brittany,

    You said, “I remember these incidents…there was a quite a ruckus surrounding them locally. I also remember the 2006 incident–I don’t think the news articles I read mentioned Ledet’s history, that is news to me *shaking my head*.”

    I’m not surprised that Ledet’s previous beastly behavior while stationed in Japan was forgotten by the US media. I’m sure the people of Okinawa haven’t forgotten about it.

    You said, “This does raise a very good point-as [certain] black women are on the cusp of taking the lead in lifting the reputation of black women, we need to do also run damage control, since as the saying goes, it only takes one bad apple to spoil a whole bunch.”

    This is exactly my concern—AAs seem to have lost all comprehension of how important it is to do damage control. Before sending un-screened AAs out into the outer world. Instead, we blindly support and rejoice in every UN-screened AA who gets into prestigious settings.

    Unlike most of us, I’m absolutely horrified whenever I read these “up from the hood to Harvard” type of news stories. Because I worry about what such “up from the hood” individuals are going to do after they get to Phillips Exeter, or Harvard, or Semester at Sea. I haven’t forgotten about Edmund Perry. And given how so many modern AA parents have lost all touch with reality, I’m also concerned about the un-screened, middle-class “Kemba Smiths” being sent out into the outer world.

    This blind celebration and support is an obsolete holdover from the eras when AAs did carefully vet the people we sent out into the wider world. In previous decades, most AAs who entered the outer world had already been pre-screened to a certain extent. Jackie Robinson wasn’t the only AA baseball player who had the technical skills to play in the major leagues. There were much better AA players. However, many of these more skilled players lacked the necessary temperament to be the first one to successfully break the color line.

    The problem is that AAs don’t have any fallback positions anymore. We abandoned our businesses at the end of segregation. Our residential areas are turning in Rwanda zones. Our HBCUs are quietly losing funding, AND becoming HIV infection centers.

    So when the Edmund Perrys, Brittany Smiths and other AA miscreants screw-up precious opportunities in the outer world, they are helping to close off our few remaining escape routes. AAs continuing to have access to higher education is critical.

    These miscreants are extremely costly liabilities that AAs can’t afford anymore. So, we need to get back to our previous tradition of screening folks before we help them get to places like Phillips Exeter, Harvard, or Semester at Sea!

    Expect Success!

    • Karen says:

      Dear Khadija,

      This goes back to many discussions that have occurred on this blog and your former blog about developing our own personal brand.

      The African American “brand” has been so severely damaged by those miscreants you reference above (and legions of others) that in my opinion at this late date, it is beyond repair.

      We will have to go forward as Sojourners and leave the AA brand behind.

      Bottom line: the Edmund Perrys and others were and are thugs. They are also an example of how their parents failed to instill in them racial discipline and old-fashioned AA values to their and the collective’s detriment. The epitaph on the AA brand has already been written “A history of lost or destroyed opportunities…”.

      I have moved on.

      I have been trying to come up with some name for my personal brand. When I am traveling overseas, I am American if asked. Although interestingly enough, it is never assumed that I come from the U.S. (and I do not have European features)

      But in the U.S, if someone asks are you “African American”? I am not sure of the best way to answer. I have usually just stated that I am American and a woman of color as frankly it is none of their business and I am not obligated to provide more details. However, I am not sure if that is the best approach either.

  3. Tee says:

    Khadijah:

    I was in a staff/faculty meeting recently at the charter school where I work. The Academic Dean talked about implementing an immersion Spanish program for the preschool/elementary division.

    As I sat and listened to all of this, it occured to me that many of the children in our predominately Af.-Amer. school (the rest are Hispanic) don’t have a grasp on the English language. They come from households where mispronunciation, and “words” like “conversate” are the norm.

    I mentioned this to a couple of teachers, who told me that I wasn’t seeing the big picture, and that “our children” are capable of learning languages.

    Countries like India place a heavy emphasis on learning and perfecting English. Indian children learn it at a very early age, and they are tested on English proficiency.

    What is amazing here is that India, with all of its many laguages, considers English above all. They understand that it is a “money language” as you call it Khadija.

    I wish Af.-Amer. would understand that they could be so far ahead here at home, and globally if they could focus on perfecting their native tongue instead of coining the latest slang.

    But once again, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

    Peace,

    Tee

  4. Tee,

    You said, “As I sat and listened to all of this, it occured to me that many of the children in our predominately Af.-Amer. school (the rest are Hispanic) don’t have a grasp on the English language. They come from households where mispronunciation, and “words” like “conversate” are the norm.

    I mentioned this to a couple of teachers, who told me that I wasn’t seeing the big picture, and that “our children” are capable of learning languages.

    Yeah, how about “our children” starting by learning standard English first (as you tried to suggest to these foolish coworkers)? This is why I was so disgusted with the many idiotic AA “Ebonics” supporters. Instead of admitting and facing our deficiences, we want to browbeat others into pretending that inferior skills are just fine and dandy (and are “equal” to actual competence). The real world doesn’t work like that. White American political and educational elites have been willing to humor us by playing along with this nonsense (only in reference to us—they still insist upon their children mastering certain basic skills).

    However, the emerging Latino and Asian political and educational elites are NOT going to humor us with this mess. They’ll simply shift whatever funding was going to AA schools to bilingual programs for Latino and Asian children, and enriched science programs for Asian children. While AAs continue to excel at being a day late and a dollar short.

    You said, “Countries like India place a heavy emphasis on learning and perfecting English. Indian children learn it at a very early age, and they are tested on English proficiency. What is amazing here is that India, with all of its many laguages, considers English above all. They understand that it is a “money language” as you call it Khadija.”

    From a strategic point of view, the other interesting thing about the Indians is that their collective advancement generally doesn’t seem to make Whites nervous the way Asians do. I’m not quite sure why that is. A friend suggested that it’s because many Indians have vaguely British surface mannerisms (as a holdover from the colonial era). Meanwhile, Indians’ “home culture” is, in many ways, even more alien to Western culture than most (East) Asian cultures.

    You said, “I wish Af.-Amer. would understand that they could be so far ahead here at home, and globally if they could focus on perfecting their native tongue instead of coining the latest slang.”

    Indeed.

    Expect Success!

  5. Felicia says:

    Khadija, you said…

    “These miscreants are extremely costly liabilities that AAs can’t afford anymore. So, we need to get back to our previous tradition of screening folks before we help them get to places like Phillips Exeter, Harvard, or Semester at Sea!”

    The problem is no one is allowed to (truthfully) proclaim these miscreants ARE in fact miscreants without ALL HELL breaking lose. Many if not most AA blacks appear to have no set standards/boundaries for what’s acceptable and not these days and honestly seem to believe that class and moral differences don’t exist amongst black folk. If anyone points out CLEAR class and moral differences amongst blacks, they’re viciously attacked.

    We’re called “everything but a child of God” as they say when we tell the truth.

    Most blacks seem to want to pretend for some reason that “we’re all the same”. Well we’re NOT all the same. Not by a LONGSHOT. We obviously don’t all think and act the same. Hence the importance of these BWE blogs/websites.

    The word needs to needs to seriously get out that there are STILL black women (and some black men) who have decent, normal, moral “old school” values.

    And these black women with decent, normal, moral old school values are the ONLY ones we need to be promoting.

    As discussed in previous blogs on your site and Evia’s, I don’t believe in promoting/supporting black males these days (unless they’re ALREADY doing right by a sister and it can be proven) because the return for investment will most likely not be there in the end.

    That’s throwing good money after bad.

  6. Karen,

    You said, “The African American “brand” has been so severely damaged by those miscreants you reference above (and legions of others) that in my opinion at this late date, it is beyond repair.

    We will have to go forward as Sojourners and leave the AA brand behind.

    What you’re raising is an important question.

    Personally, I refuse to surrender the AA label to the lunatics. Mostly because I’m uncomfortable with having a racial identity only (which is the outcome of identifying solely as “Black”). Meanwhile, everybody else maintains their own specific ethnic identity as Jamaicans, Panamanians, Hausa, etc.

    This is why I’ve been working to create a separate and distinct philosophical niche within the AA brand (“Sojourners”, similar to how “Black conservative” and so on are separate and distinct niches within the AA brand).

    I don’t know. There aren’t any easy answers to any of this.
    ________________________________________________

    Felicia,

    You said, “The problem is no one is allowed to (truthfully) proclaim these miscreants ARE in fact miscreants without ALL HELL breaking lose. Many if not most AA blacks appear to have no set standards/boundaries for what’s acceptable and not these days and honestly seem to believe that class and moral differences don’t exist amongst black folk. If anyone points out CLEAR class and moral differences amongst blacks, they’re viciously attacked.

    We’re called “everything but a child of God” as they say when we tell the truth.”

    This is true. That’s why I’m NOT asking anybody to do what I’m doing—loudly and publicly saying these things. I just want people to START screening AAs before supporting their entry into precious opportunities. This is why I didn’t do the kneejerk rallying around Khadijah Williams with her homeless to Harvard saga. NOBODY seems to have asked this young woman about:

    1-Who are her friends? Where are they from?

    2-Is she planning on bringing acquaintances and relatives from “the old neighborhood” up to visit her at Harvard?

    3-Is she dating somebody? Who? And where is this person from?

    4-Is she planning on being another Chanequa Campbell who keeps it real, remembers where she came from, and “walks a certain way, and wears her clothes a certain way” (translation: hoodrat mannerisms)?

    I just hope Ms. Williams doesn’t do another Kemba Smith, Edmund Perry, etc. routine while at Harvard.

    You said, “The word needs to needs to seriously get out that there are STILL black women (and some black men) who have decent, normal, moral “old school” values. And these black women with decent, normal, moral old school values are the ONLY ones we need to be promoting.”

    ITA!

    Expect Success!

  7. Nina says:

    On language and speaking our native tongue expertly and pridefully:

    As a traveler, during my stint as an ESL teacher, and as a practicing believer of speaking well, I’ve been so angered when non-native English speakers PROUDLY addressed me with slang and/or ebonics. I guess they thought that by virtue of being a bw I MUST speak that way, expect to be spoken to that way, think such speech is okay. This has occurred with Ghanaians in Ghana, Asians throughout Asia…

    I used all of those opportunities to teach. That’s the best way to handle them, because honestly most people will never know the implications of such language until you tell them. Sure the next AA they meet might “teach” it as cool, (we all know the type who go around like such, thinking that they’re doing a service to the world by exposing them to “black culture”) but at least I’ll have spoken for myself and done my duty, explaining how I expect to be spoken to, hence reiterating that we are NOT all the same.

    • Tee says:

      Nina:

      How did the individual(s) react when you asked them to address you with proper English?

      Tee

      • Nina says:

        Hi Tee,

        The good people who are simply trying to make a connection with a foreigner in a way that they’ve been led to believe is socially acceptable, well those people generally have apologized profusely after I told them that their words were inappropriate. Sadly people worldwide learn slang straight from rap videos and movies starring coons, and will often mimic the slang when they see us. They often just don’t know better. I am real firm on this abroad, just as in the past I’ve had to be firm on it with teaching bm in America how to properly speak to me.

        • LaJane Galt says:

          Unfortunately I have to testify to that. I had to stop a Dominican (in DR) from using the n- word years ago. In Tokyo, some African was trying to chase me down with “my sista”. They often pass for us abroad.

          I also want to add that Semester at Sea may be fun, but I recommend that college students be careful as those credits may not be recognized by their school and future grad schools. Best to apply to a program with the college or directly with the foreign university.

  8. Faith says:

    That could be modified to “Stop Assuming Any Black Man In Any Position Whether Foreign or Domestic” will automatically benefit black women.

    One of the first Real World shows – back when people were still laughing at reality tv and thinking it was odd – the cast spent om a Semester At Sea cruise. That was a long time ago!

    It is a great opportunity but it’s not cheap! I just went to the site and noticed they added a lot of scholarships and grants that didn’t used to be available.

    I’m going to apply. With the way the economy is right now this is a great way to combine studying with travel.

  9. Truth P. says:

    Hey Khadija *smiles* This was as always a really good post.I just wanted to say sometimes as individuals we must recognize if we are’nt exactly good public representatives of AAW ourselves.There are some things that I am currently working on within myself.I hate to embarass myself and other AAW.There have been times where I have been chosen by former employers to be a representation of the company and I did a great job.At a couple of the companies that I worked for AAW had a horrible rep for not being able to take orders and having a bad attitude.I was proud to be able to shatter that view.I was also compensated very well because I was easy going and went above and beyong doing my job.I was also proud that I became somewhat of an example for the other AAW on the job.When I first came into those jobs the AAw always looked mad I think they saw how I was getting raises and promotions and eventually they started smiling more and doing a better job at work.Anywho there are things as I said that I am still working on.I always consider my flaws before I accept a job or some other opportunity. I will continue to do so to avoid my own public embarassment and a misrepresentation of other AAW.

    • HR Professional says:

      Truth P,

      I know exactly what you are saying. When I began my new job, one of my co-workers was a viper. She would be rude to immediate co-workers, other co-workers, our manager and management in general. She was that stereotypical BW (neck swiveling, rude body language, teeth sucking, constantly saying <i"what I ain't gone do"). She would behave in an uncouth manner. She would say the first thing that popped into her mind. She took me to employee relations because she said I was disrespecting her (by not saying good morning). I still don’t know what happened. I never once acted haughty, or above her, or even tried any harder than necessary. I just conducted myself as a BW. One who did not necessarily wear her Blackness on her sleeve, but one that just is. Well, needless to say, she was fired, I am still here and I am up for a promotion in the next few days (my 3rd in 3 years).

      I know I should not have been embarrassed by her behavior, but to me, it just seemed liked this is what They expect from all BW. I believe that all BW must conduct themselves in an appropriate manner. A manner that changes our PR. For every BW who acts like her, there are 9 others who would never conduct themselves in that way. She, on the other hand gave Them more ammunition to be weary of hiring more BW.

    • Miss V says:

      Like you Truth P, I’ve really worked at and (and still working on) some of my own bad habits on my job. This is the first professional environment that I’ve worked in. I’m faculty secretary at the local university. I’ve noticed that things have improved between myself and faculty. Yes, it’s defnitely a racist environment, but I’ve learned that I have to work smarter and harder and choose my battles.

      For the first time, I’ve seen how the hierarchies of race and class work here at my job. And I must say that there isn’t much difference between the black faculty and the white faculty. And all the administrators are white, so I’ve learned that even though they understand the personalities of some of the faculty members, I’ve TRULY learned that old saying of birds of a feather flocking together, and that in terms of race and class, myself and the rest of the black staff members are ON THE BOTTOM, I don’t care how much the higher ups claim that we’re part of the team.

      Things have become pretty interesting over the past few months when we all learned that we’ll be getting a new dean, who happens to be an Asian woman with a no nonsense attitude. Some of the faculty (all of whome are white) have quit, others have ‘retreated into their own world.’ Others are currently looking for work elsewhere, and I’m looking for one in particular to retire.

      Anyway, I’m just gonna stay on my P’s and Q’s and get even better at crossing my T’s and dotting my I’s (smile). I’m looking out for my and my son’s best interests, while expecting success.

      • Truth P. says:

        Good Luck Miss V,:)
        I know it’s hard but the way I encourage
        myself is by keeping in mind that while some of the not so good mentalities and bad habits we have can be strongholds there are people who have been in cults with no connection to the outside world who have been taught and conditioned poorly and some of them have broken free.They have broken free of mentalities and
        habits they were taught that were anti humanity and were meant to keep them positioned to be used and abused .If they broke free empowered and elevated themselves we can too.
        Miss V,I had a WW boss who was a racist witch,literally.She was racist,Wicken,and anti other people’s religion.I had to watch my back around her V.Luckily I always did my job,even the smallest little things always got done before I left work no matter what.She really wanted me to get fired but she couldn’t be cause i’d always go above and beyond in doing my job and she was not my only boss.All my other bosses at that particular job were WM and they loved me because doing my job made them seem competent to their superiors.There were a million things that this woman tried to do to make my job harder,adding extra tasks all the while the time that I had to do all this work didn’t increase.I just found a way to get it done and kept my mouth shut.One time I got a tumor in my foot out of nowhere and had to wear a special medical shoe until my surgery and she had me running errands all over the place she laughed at me as I did all this running.She made snide anti black comments but she was careful and sneaky about it
        She found out I was in church because I told my bosses Sunday was the only day that I could not work.They were all okay with it because I worked 6 days a week,everyone except her of course.She then started to make blatant hateful anti christian remarks.of course she would do this in the morning when there were only a few people there who didn’t care,except me.Her daughter who worked there eventually started to hate me as her husband made a sexual comment towards me in front of her and laughed as if he was just joking but neither I nor her believed he was kidding cause she was pissed and I was embarassed.I was young and didn’t report her or her family as I needed my job.Anywho,while all this crazy stuff is going on and i’m feeling abused she,the WW boss,was slacking on her own job and pissing off her superiors.She eventually hurt her foot at work and had to wear a special shoe too,crazy I know right.One of the WM
        bosses I had whom she’d started out as equals with,whom she’d disrespected a number of times when they were equals,was promoted and made her boss around the same time she hurt her foot lol’s.He worked the hell out of her till she cried AT WORK and he gave me a RAISE and a promotion.Guess who goes crying to her bosses REPORTING how bad they’ve been treated?Guess who ends up losing their job?Hint:Not ME lol’s.
        Hang in there and just do your job,do a little extra sometime,make nice with the bosses that
        you can.If they are not blatantly racist and you just suspect it with no real evidence you can make nice with them.Just do what’ll make you look good and what can make them seem more competent.One of my bosses was an old wm. I suspected he was racist, though he never said anything bad, but me making him look good made him go to war for me a few times he saw my
        ww boss get tooo out of line with the work she tried to make me do.He’d say no and make someone else do it.This is while I was wearing the surgical boot.I think he had racist tendencies and i’m not saying I kissed his arse but he did help make my job a little easier a few times.

        Sorry for the long post Khadija.

        • Karen says:

          Truth P.,

          You have touched on a few points that are so often overlooked by us. When you are working for someone else, the primary responsibilities are to:

          1) Do the best job you can
          2) Be a person that others can count on
          3) Be a person that can rise above the mess
          4) Be a person that good bosses know will make them look good.

          Bad bosses, as you demonstrated are those that need to be neutralized. You did this by creating other allies. They stepped in on your behalf when it counted and also probably behind the scenes too.

          I am very glad that it worked out for you and thank you for sharing a very valuable lesson.

  10. Tina says:

    I had to laugh to myself when I read this because it is so true. I am one of those “up from the hood” AA women (although I didn’t go to Harvard) and I come from a pretty dysfunctional family. In spite of that, i always had enough sense to do well in school and not associate with men that could get me killed or put in jail. I didn’t have enough sense to not curse people out if I thought they got out of line. Even though I made it into some pretty sophisticated environments, I always wanted to remind people that I wasn’t like them since I was from the hood and therefore a “real black person”. I used to think only uppity black people shunned foolishness, now I know better, I will proudly snob a fool and distance myself from their behavior. Lol @ my prior thinking. Luckily, I managed to not curse out the wrong person at the wrong time and I am now in my late 20s and better able to control my emotions. I love to tell myself, there, but for the grace of God, go I.

    I do have “up from the hood” friends, some that did go to Ivy League schools, that do not know how not to act a fool and sure enough they are damaging the AA image. As a side not some of my up from the hood friends are not AA but whenever someone of color acts a fool everyone assumes they are AA. They think its okay to act ghetto and ignorant because “why should they care what other people think?” Ha! So I am all for screening, although some AA that appear lost may just need a little push in the right direction.

    Anyways, I also studied abroad while in college. I spent 6 months in Spain, the absolute best six months of my life and I definitely recommend that AA students get out of the comfort zone and travel abroad. You’d be surprised to find out that foreigners, especially Europeans, don’t really have a negative opinion of AA because most of their personal experiences will not be with thugs or hoodrats and yes, we don’t want to ruin that perception so I agree with screening. Africans actually have a more negative image in Europe (the exact opposite of here) because more than a few of the immigrants there fall into drugs, prostitution and other illegal activities.

  11. Nina,

    You said, “On language and speaking our native tongue expertly and pridefully:

    As a traveler, during my stint as an ESL teacher, and as a practicing believer of speaking well, I’ve been so angered when non-native English speakers PROUDLY addressed me with slang and/or ebonics. I guess they thought that by virtue of being a bw I MUST speak that way, expect to be spoken to that way, think such speech is okay. This has occurred with Ghanaians in Ghana, Asians throughout Asia…”

    {groan}

    You said, “I used all of those opportunities to teach. That’s the best way to handle them, because honestly most people will never know the implications of such language until you tell them.”

    ITA. These other people really don’t know, and they have no way of knowing any different until one of us (normal, decent AAs) informs them.

    You said, “…I’ll have spoken for myself and done my duty, explaining how I expect to be spoken to, hence reiterating that we are NOT all the same.”

    {deep martial arts bow in appreciation}

    All of this gets back to points discussed at the previous blog during the Reality Check: African-Americans STILL Need to Have Racial Discipline in the Obama Era post. AAs in my age group and older were raised to know certain things:

    In terms of my living memory, the parents of most AAs in my age group (40s) made a POINT of showing us old pictures of what Emmett Till looked like in his open casket when we were around 11-12 years old. And, so did our teachers, for those of us who went to Black grammar schools/junior high schools.

    They did this so that we could truly understand what lynching meant. Almost every AA I know in my age group saw that horrible picture as a pre-teen or young teenager.

    As a result of the photos and the explanations surrounding them, most African-Americans in my age group and older were not naive about the potentially deadly consequences of wandering into unknown, non-Black residential areas. This horrible picture of Emmett Till was worth more than a thousand words about carefree wandering into certain places.

    We were also not naive about the potential consequences of any of us “showing out” on a White campus, in a White workplace, in a majority White residential area, or any other White setting.

    Our parents and other relatives drummed into our heads the message that if we “clowned” and did something inappropriate in a White setting, our actions would have consequences not just for us as individuals. But also for every African-American person that came to that particular setting after us. We were exhorted and raised to NOT be the Black person who screws things up for every Black person who comes behind us. This was one example of racial discipline.

    Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, my generation of African-Americans failed to communicate this message to our children. That’s why there are African-Americans (like the foolish Black female college student interviewed in this story) who are shocked that there’s a backlash splashing onto them when other Blacks do inappropriate things.

    Many of us want to believe that those days are over; and we’re living in a post-racial country. Well . . . on some levels, yes. On others levels, NO. We need to snap out of our Obama-induced delirium and understand that we’re still perceived in a category separate, apart and inferior from everybody else.

    As I’ve mentioned before, everybody except African-Americans is in the process of becoming perceived as White. I see this in the police reports and government forms that I work with everyday. Unless somebody is blue-black in color and without a single strand of hair that could be called wavy, they are classified as “White” on these forms. This includes deep-brown East Indians. This includes Black Arabs. This includes deep-brown, Indian Latinos. This includes everybody except African-Americans.

    One benefit of being perceived as either White or sort-of White, is the ability to access portions of White privilege. This is why a Korean student at Virgina Tech could kill over 30 people on campus without his actions leading to a pogrom against Korean or Asian students on White campuses. This does not apply to us. Anything any one of us does will most likely be held against the rest of us.

    Just like before the Obama era. We still have a need for racial discipline.

    (emphasis added)

    Bottom line: Whether we like it or not, we are still “ambassadors” for our people whenever we’re in the outer world. For good OR bad effect.
    _________________________________________________

    Faith,

    You said, “That could be modified to “Stop Assuming Any Black Man In Any Position Whether Foreign or Domestic” will automatically benefit black women.”

    Indeed.

    You said, “It is a great opportunity but it’s not cheap! I just went to the site and noticed they added a lot of scholarships and grants that didn’t used to be available. I’m going to apply. With the way the economy is right now this is a great way to combine studying with travel.”

    ITA! Good luck!
    __________________________________________________

    TruthP.,

    Thank you for your kind words about the post; I truly appreciate it.

    You said, “I just wanted to say sometimes as individuals we must recognize if we are’nt exactly good public representatives of AAW ourselves.”

    Again, we’re “ambassadors” whether we like it or not.
    _________________________________________________

    Tina,

    You said, “I had to laugh to myself when I read this because it is so true.”

    Yep. AAs are cutting our own throats by our mass refusal to honestly discuss any of this. I give it about 10-15 more years before 85-90% of all racially Black college students in the US are of foreign-origin. Meanwhile, the masses of AAs will be trapped in permanent underclass status in our Black residential slums.

    Part of the reason for this emerging shift is that it’s too physically dangerous and too much trouble for these campuses to have AA students. They can get their diversity numbers by admitting foreign Blacks—who generally WON’T create problems or any sort of (political) uproar on campus.

    There are a handful of emerging African Muslim terrorist nuts (like the Somali immigrants who are going back to fight with Al-Shabaab, or the Nigerian nut who tried to blow up the plane last winter). With the exception of these few terrorist nuts, most universities know that the “typical” African students are NOT going to create the security problems and disruptions that too many AA students bring to a campus.

    In good conscience, I can’t publicly mention valuable opportunities like the Semester at Sea program without talking about these issues FIRST. The same way I couldn’t talk (in good conscience) about AA women joining better networks without dealing with some of our toxic “new school” attitudes FIRST.

    Access to higher education is what has traditionally lifted our people out of poverty. That’s how my parents got out of poverty and into the middle class. If we continue to enable the Edmund Perrys, Brittany Smiths, Chanequa Campbells, and Kemba Smiths to destroy our people’s access to college, it’s GAME OVER for our group!

    Expect Success!

  12. This post got me thinking and at the moment there may be one or two young ladies to whom I could recommend Semester at Sea (and one is a white). Both are a little too young (14 and 15) at this point, but I might start mentioning it to their mothers. I don’t know alot of young people who would be open to this kind of adventure(their parents either), even though one of my teaching gigs is at various and sundry Y’s in my metro area.

    As for the racial ambassador, for me I feel I’ve been more of a racial mythbuster. I’ve understood for a long time that yes, I need to be at my best in whatever arena I enter because people (black, white, whatever) are always looking for confirmation their the stereotypes. If someone is going to stereotype me, then they are either willfully ignorant or they will have to work hard to afix their label(s) to me…..needless to say, I shall not comply!!!

    Peace

  13. SouthlandDiva,

    You said, “I don’t know alot of young people who would be open to this kind of adventure(their parents either), even though one of my teaching gigs is at various and sundry Y’s in my metro area.”

    Actually, that’s a very good thing that these kids (and their parents) are screening themselves out. That’s good because if they’re too stupid to understand the value of this type of opportunity, then they’re most likely too stupid to use it properly.

    You said, “As for the racial ambassador, for me I feel I’ve been more of a racial mythbuster. I’ve understood for a long time that yes, I need to be at my best in whatever arena I enter because people (black, white, whatever) are always looking for confirmation their the stereotypes.”

    I would like to say that these are “myths” and “stereotypes.” But I don’t believe that’s entirely true. Unfortunately, in my line of work I see large numbers of AAs everyday who work their fingers to bone to personify various negative profiles of AAs. Profiles get started for a reason…

    It’s interesting that many normal AAs like to believe that we are somehow the “silent majority” of AAs. I don’t believe this. I notice that normal AAs have zero impact on modern AA mass culture. It’s been this way for the past 25+ years—since the rise of the rap/hip-hop trash. Since then, it’s been the keepin’ it real, saggin’-pants-wearing savages who set the tone and the agenda for the AA masses. Including the children of middle-class AAs (who imitate these idiots).

    I say this because I’ve noticed how apologetic most normal AA adults are about disliking various things that are part and parcel of AA underclass culture. As Felicia stated earlier, it takes courage for a grown AA person to speak the truth. You shouldn’t have to be brave to speak the plain truth.

    It takes courage for an AA to say out loud: “I don’t like hip-hop. These rappers have zero talent. … I don’t like so-called street literature. That mess is worthless, humiliating trash. …I don’t like criminals or dope fiends. Nor do I want to live around criminals and dope fiends. …and so on.”

    When grown, AA adults are uniformly afraid to speak the truth or some common sense, then one really can’t say that these negative images are “myths” and “stereotypes.” The fact that 99.99% of normal AAs have been bullied into silence about various topics says that normality is no longer the norm among AAs.

    Expect Success!

  14. Valerie says:

    One of the reasons why I love this blog so much, is your writing. You see black men for what they are, they are just men with faults, just like anybody else. For too long, a lot of us black women and the rest of the black community have treated them like modern day deities and because we worship them, they should do this and that and when they don’t we get upset or we blame the world or do both. All I can say as usual, excellent, excellent post.

    Black women need to see the world for themselves, listen to international news, travel and don’t live anyone life but their own.
    Excellent thread.

  15. Felicia says:

    Khadija, you said…

    It’s interesting that many normal AAs like to believe that we are somehow the “silent majority” of AAs. I don’t believe this. I notice that normal AAs have zero impact on modern AA mass culture. It’s been this way for the past 25+ years—since the rise of the rap/hip-hop trash. Since then, it’s been the keepin’ it real, saggin’-pants-wearing savages who set the tone and the agenda for the AA masses. Including the children of middle-class AAs (who imitate these idiots).

    It’s interesting indeed Khadija. For the past 25+ years I’ve known beyond a shadow of a doubt that normal black people are in the minority. Or rather, that the African-American collective/construct (not community) is abnormal.

    If you mention your true opinions, people want to fight you. Middle class African-Americans who are NOT living the degenerate “acing black” lifestyles and some who know FIRST HAND from working to help them/renting to them, are some of the first to speak out in their defense. They will claim it’s not their fault, they’ve had a bad childhood, it’s structural racism yada yada… and then they’ll scream “your black!” As if because you’re a normal black person how dare you speak out/make an observation about blacks who are clearly abnormal and destroying the African-American image?SMH and a big WTH.

    We all have our stories and incidents to tell… Some with friends, associates, and even our middle and upper middle class family members who should KNOW better and DO know better. I know I have mine.

    Anyway, like you said, sadly normality is in the minority in the modern day black collective/construct.

    Just the fact that you have a 70% single rate amongst BW, over 70% OOW black childbirth rate, roughly half of all murders (and most of the victims are BM and innocent BW and black children) in this country are committed by BM, the growing AIDS rate amongst BW attributed to BM’s harem lifestyle, and so on and so on and yet BW are STILL being indoctrinated to focus singularly on BM as future mates and fathers to their children? Instead of the BEST man regardless of “race”?

    None of this speaks to a normality of thought.

  16. Valerie,

    Thank you for your kind words about the blog; I truly appreciate it.

    I have to point out something: This blog’s purpose is NOT about telling the truth about BM. I’m telling the truth about AAs across the board. Both genders, and all classes.

    My focus is not on AA men. Because AA men do the things they do ONLY because BW enable them to do so. AA women are the only ones actively economically and politically sustaining the madness that goes on within the AA collective. AA women are the ones who prop up this madness with their economic and political support of it.

    For examples: AA women are the primary footsoldiers for organizations like the NAACP that throw BW under the bus! AA women are many of the consumers who buy the BW-hating-hip-hop slaves’ cds and videos. AA women are the ones who created and prop up Tyler Perry’s career—so he can continue to publicly dress in drag, demonize professional BW, and steer professional BW toward dating and marrying janitors.

    Like I’ve said in earlier posts, if AA women would raise our consciousness enough to simply STOP feeding destructive Black people, then these many dreadful things would NOT be happening.
    _________________________________________________

    Felicia,

    You said, “None of this speaks to a normality of thought.”

    Indeed. All of this is extremely irrational. {shaking my head}

    Expect Success!

  17. Karen says:

    Like I’ve said in earlier posts, if AA women would raise our consciousness enough to simply STOP feeding destructive Black people, then these many dreadful things would NOT be happening.

    ^^^That sums it up in a nutshell.

  18. Hodan says:

    I think studying or working abroad should be part of every college graduate experience. I did it and it was one of the best experience and it defined for me what I would like to do career wise. Its true that many of the black girls/women who are accepted into these programs come from Africa….sadly most of the American girls I met in Kenya were either of Asian or Caucasian background. We see more of the Caribbean ladies though in universities and internship abroad (from Barbados, Dominican Republic, Cuba, etc).

    ps. about the soldier rape case in Japan, American soldiers do not have good reputation outside of the US patriotic bandwagon. Rape has been a problem not just where American military has bases (where both white and black men have committed these heinous crimes), but also within the army itself. I was reading stats where 1 in 2 female soldier was either sexually assaulted or raped by a fellow soldier….its horrible experience. I know we in Canada and other Western countries have similar problem, but not to that extend.

  19. Nina says:

    There was a t-shirt trend some years ago amongst the fashion crowd. The shirt read— “Don’t feed the models”. Khadija, your “STOP feeding the destructive black people” brought it back to mind, so sojourners must, at least figuratively, wear the t-shirt:

    “STOP feeding the destructive black people”

    I am so aware of being an abnormal (what used to pass as normal) bw, that over the years I have become ultra- wary, basically skeptical, of ALL blacks until they are proven innocent of “acting black” crimes and misdemeanors. And I’ve always been the type to speak up about such matters. When I have found myself in a small group of bw I am always the ONLY one who admits that she will NOT go to a film-starring a black actor, ” to see/support black people”, or who does NOT like (insert music “artist” name here) “because he has nice beats”, or who doesn’t listen to mainstream black radio programs “just to know what’s going on”, or who does not support a person in a high-position “because he’s black”. Those automatic bandwagon rides are not necessary for my blackness to survive. I’d much rather “just lock tight around my sanity and participate in activities that lead me to thrive” than to sell my soul.

    Honestly, it usually doesn’t take a lot to let people know that you are not one of them. We can do it in the way that we dress, groom, speak, choose activities, spend our money. And we don’t have to do it on a major stage. Actually our everyday lives are stage enough, and all those people that we cross paths with in a day, they are our fellow players on the stage to whom we must make our positions known. I refuse to allow anyone to think that I’m a part of what’s come to be known as normal behavior for blacks. Never have, never will.

    And funny thing, it’s not something I have to think hard about doing. I’m not TRYING to be anti-anything, just insisting on being me. I’d love to see more common-sense thinking about our true heart’s desires before acting, more digging deep underneath the black skin to answer to that inner calling, BEFORE shouting yes, clapping hands and singing along with everything that is black, smells black, is marketed to black, etc.

    And abroad, I laugh and scowl at my incidences abroad and think “1,000,000 miles away and I’m STILL on the clock”. It is maddening and disheartening, but *SIGH* the work is never done, not here, not there, not anyplace.

  20. halima says:

    Love the discussion here!

    Yes it is a chess game that black women have to have the steady nerves and clear thinking to win. Recently a white woman resigned when I assumed a position of authority in the work i do. I didnt go out of my way to do anything (many white folk dont know how to serve under black people to start with), but i just switched on ‘autopilot charm’ and the rest fell into place.

    recently i got to hear of the ‘battles’ that raged in the boardroom while I was busy enjoying my bed and pillow.

    I fully support bw going that extra mile to ensure that their work is stellar. the thing is, you wont aways have to work extra hard especially if you take time and energy to put the systems in place.

    When I join a new organisation, every little task goes down on a list (I mean every little task eg buy pens!). I hardly ever delete anything from the list, but cross things out and send them to the bottom. over the months, the spectrum of my work becomes clearer and it helps me keep work in my subconscious. It might not work for everyone but because of the way my brain works, after a while i begin to see the patterns and relationships and can ‘pull’ up on areas where i should etc etc. Also going through the full list a few times a week means my subconscious pulls up things for me that need sorting or that can be tackled easily alongside some upcoming event or task.

    if you have a good ‘system’ for managing work, you can weather the activities of ‘crazy bosses.’

    We bw have to make a living out of the current set up and conditions. this is it guys, thus and therefore we have to play the game with tact and strategy and we have to keep away from those who refuse to have the mental toughness, patience and hope to push through but who let their disgust (and yes our treatment is disgusting sometimes) get the better of them!

    unfortunately a lot of bw are cheered on for doing things that makes them pariahs or limit their social mobility hence it reinforces these attitudes in many who unfortunately are not able to stand back and understand the agenda to keep them limited in range and reach. They get a pat on the back and maybe a donut from freinds who say things like, ‘Yeah you aint nobodies fool’, and they go home feeling pleased yet remain trapped in her social situation unable to move up but still preferring their ‘pleased emotions’ to social mobility.

    Indeed I was sent a link about a woman who is running for a political position and announced herself as ‘not the wm….’ i scanned the comment section and the number of people ‘high fiving’ her where just too many!

    yes sometimes it doesnt work out and you have to jump before you are pushed. As long as you did your best then it wasnt your job, you have to brush it off and look for that Job where you are ‘in favour’.

    Khadija

    I think a lot of this ‘lets lift up dysfunction’ or ‘say not a narry word against underclass culture’, is borrowed from our love affair with liberal thought. I think when we ran away from conservatism as a political ideology because it became entertwined with out and out racism, we ran straight to extreme liberalism.

    Extreme liberal though i beleieve is all about dismantling current tried and tested social conventions or the known elements of structure in society, and the lab of such experiments is often black settings.

    also I was at the movies the other day and it occurred to me how this whole theme of people in the asylum or prisons being misunderstood or really victims of an unjust and evil government system etc etc which is trying to frame them or mislabel them is standard Hollywood fare.

    I think these ideas have seeped into our belief system, I mean the whole attitude of being anti-establishment and anti ‘tried and tested’ social norms and values and not constrained by them is indeed standard liberal hollywood script!

  21. Karen,

    Yep, the answer for ending various destructive behaviors is not that deep or complicated.
    _________________________________________________

    Hodan,

    You said, “ps. about the soldier rape case in Japan, American soldiers do not have good reputation outside of the US patriotic bandwagon. Rape has been a problem not just where American military has bases (where both white and black men have committed these heinous crimes), but also within the army itself.”

    This points out the problems with an all-volunteer military. Basically, it has the end result of scraping the bottom of the barrel of US society. It’s truly scary that the US military is jam-packed with gangbangers, neo-nazis, Bible-thumping religious fanatics, all-around-losers, and people too poor to otherwise pay for college.

    That’s one structural problem with an all-volunteer military. Another structural problem is that it’s dangerous to have a military that is so distant from mainstream members of its society. We see this with the increasing disrespect for civilians that is apparently encouraged by the officers. The contempt that Gen. McChrystal and his henchmen have for civilian political leadership are examples of that. Old-school military officers and veterans understand why that attitude is dangerous for democracy.

    Finally, I wouldn’t call most Americans’ attitudes “patriotic.” It’s more an example of rabid nationalism. I knew something had gone seriously wrong after 9/11 when I noticed that the “news” had US flag logos in the bottom corner of their broadcasts (where the subtitles and headlines “crawl” across the screen)—and nobody questioned this.
    _________________________________________________

    Nina,

    You said, “And I’ve always been the type to speak up about such matters. When I have found myself in a small group of bw I am always the ONLY one who admits that she will NOT go to a film-starring a black actor, ” to see/support black people”, or who does NOT like (insert music “artist” name here) “because he has nice beats”, or who doesn’t listen to mainstream black radio programs “just to know what’s going on”, or who does not support a person in a high-position “because he’s black”. Those automatic bandwagon rides are not necessary for my blackness to survive. I’d much rather “just lock tight around my sanity and participate in activities that lead me to thrive” than to sell my soul.”

    I feel the same way, and do the same thing. I always speak up about my refusal to support/participate in certain mass “Black” mess. Because I want to increase the social space for more AAs to openly reject nonsense.
    _________________________________________________

    Halima,

    Hello there! You said, “I fully support bw going that extra mile to ensure that their work is stellar. the thing is, you wont aways have to work extra hard especially if you take time and energy to put the systems in place. . . .if you have a good ’system’ for managing work, you can weather the activities of ‘crazy bosses.’”

    I agree. Having a personal strategy for getting off to a good start is critical for surviving crazy people and/or enemies at work.

    You said, “We bw have to make a living out of the current set up and conditions. this is it guys, thus and therefore we have to play the game with tact and strategy and we have to keep away from those who refuse to have the mental toughness, patience and hope to push through but who let their disgust (and yes our treatment is disgusting sometimes) get the better of them!”

    Each individual BW has to decide whether she’s committed to winning or to whining.

    You said, “unfortunately a lot of bw are cheered on for doing things that makes them pariahs or limit their social mobility hence it reinforces these attitudes in many who unfortunately are not able to stand back and understand the agenda to keep them limited in range and reach. They get a pat on the back and maybe a donut from freinds who say things like, ‘Yeah you aint nobodies fool’, and they go home feeling pleased yet remain trapped in her social situation unable to move up but still preferring their ‘pleased emotions’ to social mobility.”

    Indeed. It amazes me that these women who make do with pats on the head mostly ignore the fact that BM aren’t burning their bridges to the outer world. Aside from the time that they spend “wincing” (per Jill Scott).

    You said, “I think a lot of this ‘lets lift up dysfunction’ or ’say not a narry word against underclass culture’, is borrowed from our love affair with liberal thought. I think when we ran away from conservatism as a political ideology because it became entertwined with out and out racism, we ran straight to extreme liberalism.”

    Hmmm…you’re probably right about that. I just keep wondering where our common sense and traditional cultural values went. I’m never pleased to be in the position of arguing with other Black folks over Western-derived ideologies and social experiments. It’s similar to the Republican-Democratic debates that Black folks in the US engage in. Meanwhile, these are both White parties. I mean that in the sense that both of these political parties are dedicated to apportioning the spoils of American wealth and tax dollars to competing factions of White elites. Blacks serve as disposable, loyal servants for both the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum parties.

    You said, “Extreme liberal though i beleieve is all about dismantling current tried and tested social conventions or the known elements of structure in society, and the lab of such experiments is often black settings.”

    Exactly. Sensible White liberals do NOT run social experiments with their children and families. Meanwhile, foolish Blacks take these various experiments and run with them. For decades. Even after they’ve been observed to have FAILED.

    Expect Success!

    • Miss V says:

      “Each individual BW has to decide whether she’s committed to winning or to whining.”

      Khadijah, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past several years on my job. Whining. And it hasn’t changed a doggone thing. From now on, that’s what I USED to do. I’m being stealth for a change, while continuing to work smarter and harder. As a result, I’ve gained a few allies, so that’s been a blessing. Like Halima said, I’m also thinking of creating a system that’ll make my job easier.

      I’m now looking for ways to be more proactive, to show more initiative. Now that my department has a new dean, I’m eager to show her what I can do, and possibly gain an ally in her too.

      Expecting Success!!

      • MissV,

        You said, “From now on, that’s what I USED to do. I’m being stealth for a change, while continuing to work smarter and harder. As a result, I’ve gained a few allies, so that’s been a blessing. Like Halima said, I’m also thinking of creating a system that’ll make my job easier.”

        YES!!! It takes courage and resilience to change course. It’s so much easier emotionally to fixate on all the “reasons” why it’s “impossible” to change course. Miss V, I admire you and what you’re doing. {deep martial arts bow}

        You said, “I’m now looking for ways to be more proactive, to show more initiative. Now that my department has a new dean, I’m eager to show her what I can do, and possibly gain an ally in her too.”

        Good for you! It’s interesting. Many times an opportunity to turn the page comes around just at the point when we’re mentally ready to take advantage of it.

        Expect Success!

  22. When I spoke of debunking racial myths/stereotypes, I meant in reference to me as an individual. If a person expects me to display wifey, baby mamma, loud, rude, angry, foul-mouthed behavior they will be disappointed; it’s simply not who I am.

    Yes, I know the hip hop/gangster/ghetto ethos is ascendant in the population of folks younger than 40. I encounter the behavior often enough to understand it is not a minority of AA acting in this fashion. Do I think normal AA’s are in the majority? No. Perhaps I did 10 years ago when I was going through my ‘Class-Issue Struggle”, but not now. I am not in the business of praising, admiring, or normalizing deviance.

    Halima, mentioned the bw candidate who was denied the use of the phrase, ‘not the white man’s b—-‘ by the local election board because of the inappropriate language. *Sigh* I read the article (can’t remember where) from the perspective of how black women’s images are reported in the media. The language is course, ridiculous and needlessly antagonistic! The community is majority white! Why, just why?!?!

    Peace

  23. SouthlandDiva,

    Oh, I misunderstood your comment. Oops, my bad! 🙂

    You said, “Yes, I know the hip hop/gangster/ghetto ethos is ascendant in the population of folks younger than 40. I encounter the behavior often enough to understand it is not a minority of AA acting in this fashion. Do I think normal AA’s are in the majority? No. Perhaps I did 10 years ago when I was going through my ‘Class-Issue Struggle”, but not now. I am not in the business of praising, admiring, or normalizing deviance.”

    Well, you were many years ahead of me. I only snapped out of my individual misperception of AA reality a few years ago—after finding out about the Dunbar Village Atrocity and Aftermath. Up until that point, I continued to believe that even though there were serious problems most AAs were still normal. Until that point, I also believed that—even though there were problems with gender relations—most AA men were struggling together with AA women for better lives.

    It took several, repeated online discussions at some Black love and Black unity blogs where a series of so-called “conscious” AA men verbally yawned and shrugged in response to the Dunbar Village Atrocity for me to wake up.

    Expect Success!