Postscript: V For Victory

Ladies, this is your victory, may God bless you all. This is our collective victory as legitimate BWE (Black Women’s Empowerment) bloggers, all praise is due to God Almighty.


When I ended the Sojourner’s Passport blog project over six months ago, I decided that sometime around Thanksgiving Day I would take another look at the progress made by the BWE social justice movement. I’m thankful to see that the BWE movement has achieved lasting victory after only a few short years:

  • The core BWE message that Black women who are serious about marriage must expand their dating options to include nonblack men has firmly entered the mainstream. One can see this with the conversations and publicity surrounding Ralph Richard Banks’ book Is Marriage For White People?
  • A critical mass of African-American women have heard the BWE message, and have MOVED ON into enjoying abundant life in the global village. They’ve stopped restricting themselves to the dead Black community and vampiric all-Black social circles. They’ve stopped hindering their marriage options by refusing to speak or engage in the “nothing but a Black man” self-sabotage.

As time goes by, the ongoing success of the BWE message is why you’ll continue to see a number of BWE bloggers do various things. Some will continue to have their blogs serve as lighthouses helping other Black women find the path to abundant life. Some will retire from blogging altogether (as I have). Some will start using other types of venues for their discussions. Some others will use their blogs to focus on a wider range of topics (that go beyond issues that primarily affect Black women).

Unlike traditional African-American civil rights organizations that go on forever because their goals are never accomplished, the BWE social justice movement has accomplished its primary goals. BWE was designed to provide solid analysis and concrete solutions to help Black women MOVE ON into joyous living. This has happened. The tools for escape have been provided. As they hear the BWE message, those Black women who sincerely want abundant life have been quietly MOVING ON.

This quiet and growing exodus of sensible African-American women has not gone totally unnoticed. There’s a YouTube video in which a frightened Black man asks the question, “Are Black Women Becoming Like Asian Women?” (in terms of dating and marrying White men). In terms of sensible Black women, the short answer is YES. As this worried Black male has noticed, increasing numbers of quality, desirable Black women are leaving the toxic all-Black dating market and have MOVED ON.

The victory of the BWE social justice movement will prove to be a lasting one because it’s sustained and enhanced by the ripple effects created by every African-American woman who finds joyous life in the outside world.


Ladies, rest assured that human nature—in the form of envy—will finish the job of saving those remaining African-American women who are capable of being salvaged. The motivational energy produced by envy is over 1,000 times more powerful than any sermon.

Here’s how this will continue playing out:

As increasing numbers of African-American women marry out into happy, wholesome lives, other African-American women and girls will see this. Each African-American woman who marries out leaves behind a number of Black women relatives, friends, and acquaintances who are suffering in toxic, all-Black social circles. Some of these left-behind women are reprobates who will choose to remain Stuck On Stupid. The reprobates will continue to play dumb, tell lies, and distort the most basic ideas about BWE. Which is fine. God respects free will, and so do I. The Good Life in the outer world will go on without them.

Some of these foolish “nothing but a Black man” women will try to sabotage other Black women who are MOVING ON. This is why it’s essential for escaping Black women to remain quiet about their plans.

Most of all, many of these left-behind Black women will continue to be envious of the Black women who escaped.

The left-behind Black women will angrily think to themselves, “So & So (the Sojourner who married out) isn’t any better than me. If she can get a quality husband from the outer world, so can I!”

This is the point at which the more ambitious among the left-behind African-American women will start to imitate the Sojourner’s various moves—her self-presentation choices, her social circle choices, and so on. She’ll stop engaging in self-segregation. She’ll drop her knee-jerk grudge against White men. She’ll stop having knee-jerk, Oppositional Defiant Disorder-based reactions to the outer world. She’ll also take a hint from Black men, and learn how to do what works for her. Without trying to carry the dead Black community on her back.

This chain reaction will continue to spread with each Black woman who successfully marries out into a wholesome lifestyle. One woman at a time. The wonderful thing is that it doesn’t require any preaching to elicit this type of reaction from many women. Human nature will take care of that. Without any outside prompting. And so, victory will continue spreading to those African-American women who love themselves enough to save themselves.

Ladies, this is our collective victory, rejoice in it. May God bless you all.

Khadija Nassif

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