Interview With Lady Godiva, Author of “The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program Guide”

I welcome the opportunity to do written interviews with Black women authors about their books. This interview is with Lady Godiva, author of The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program Guide.

Khadija Speaking: Lady Godiva, before I say anything else, let me thank you for graciously taking the time to respond to these questions. As I warned you when we first discussed the idea via email, not all of the questions will be “softball” ones. There will be at least one challenging, “hardball” question—the sort of things that I always wonder about when I read books dealing with certain topics. Let’s start with some basic questions.

Question: What made you decide to design a program and write a guide book about growing Black hair to extreme lengths?

Answer: Thank you so much for the opportunity to discuss the program! As a longtime reader and frequent commenter, I’m especially honored to be here.

When I see black women out in public with broken, dry hair or even balding, it makes me so sad. I used to have damaged, rough and unkempt hair myself, so I remember exactly how painful it was to get dressed to the nines, but still feel unattractive because of my hair. I remember the shame I felt over it.

I felt then and continue to feel now that long hair is a universal hallmark of femininity. I know that many other black women feel the same way I did… they struggle with growing out their hair and could benefit from my advice.

On a larger level, you know that I care deeply about the condition of black women in America. Nothing pleases me more than to see a black woman looking fabulous, feeling confident, and accomplishing her goals. I want to contribute to that success, to the degree that I am able. I want to help women to grow healthy long hair that they can be proud of! How wonderful would it be if 90% of the black women in this country had long healthy hair down their backs? There would be a lot less hair flipping from other races of women going on then, that’s for sure!

Question: How long did this project take from idea to publication?

Answer: I first got the idea that I should write this book from reading one of your blog posts about ebook authorship! I did a period of research about the different ways I could pursue this… and the actual writing of the guide took me less than 90 days. The other elements, such as getting the website complete, and getting the supplements formulated etc took longer than I expected. From start to finish it was about six months.

Question: Did you look to other Black hair care books for inspiration?

Answer: I had read some black hair books in the past, but to be honest most of what I found there was not helpful to me. I had learned bits and pieces of healthy hair advice over the years from several sources. Some things were helpful, others detrimental. It took me years of effort to separate the wheat from the chaff. I then tested, tweaked and combined these disparate elements along with my own discoveries into one cohesive program. Women don’t need to reinvent the wheel like I did; they can just read my book!

Khadija Speaking: I notice that, in your book, you repeatedly emphasize the impact that dietary factors have on hair growth, in particular the importance of fresh produce and specific nutrients.

Question: Why is nutrition so important in terms of hair growth and length?

Answer: Nutrition is essential because the body can only do what it has the raw materials to do. Many products exist that claim they will give long healthy hair. Some of these products may well be useful in caring for hair that is already healthy. The very first step, though, that cannot be omitted, is nutrition. If the body lacks access to the nutrients and protein it needs, then growing a head of long healthy hair will not be possible.

As an aside, one reason why long hair is so attractive is because it is an indicator of good health. Men look for healthy women who can bear them strong children. This is a biological imperative. Women who wish to increase their appeal to men will be well served by growing long healthy hair. In order to do that, they need to first remedy nutritional deficiencies.

Question: What do you say to the audience members who feel that they have no practical ways of accessing the level of nutrition you recommend in your book?

Answer: I would say that they are mistaken. I have the Greens ‘n Berries and the Hair Vitamins for sale on the site. I worked with a national laboratory to create a balanced and complementary pair of supplements. For my own growth, I had been taking a cocktail of various pills to fulfill the nutritional quality that these two products provide. I believe the price is extremely fair and affordable. In all honesty, most of us spend more on our morning coffee than I ask for the super nutrition available in these supplements.

Beyond the supplements, I have included directions for growing your own organic food. This information is also useful for women who want to cultivate self-sufficiency and insulate themselves from fluctuations in the price of food. The expense is low, and the time investment is not so high either. It’s all about making your health and beauty a priority in your own life.

Khadija Speaking: One annoying thing that I’ve noticed over the years is that a number of Black hair care products deliberately and misleadingly use hair models who have naturally wavy and loosely-curled hair. In other words, hair texture that is not the “typical” Black woman’s type of hair. This sort of deceptive practice often has consumers of those products looking for the product to do something that it simply can’t do (such as make their hair like the model’s hair).

Question: Since you’re half nonblack, how does the consumer know that the methods you propose in your book are equally applicable to Black women with the “typical” Black hair texture?

Answer: I have seen also that many natural hair products have that deceptive practice. I do not believe that is fair or right for companies to mislead customers that way.

It is no secret that almost all of the black population in America is genetically mixed with the European-American white populace. It is an uncomfortable reality, but it is reality nonetheless. So while I am mixed with European descent, so are almost all of the customers I serve. Many of these women have two black parents, and yet they have a looser hair texture than mine. I have the “typical” black woman’s texture of hair.

What is most relevant to the hair growth techniques in the book is not genetic admixture, but rather hair type. My hair type is 4a. This is very, very common among the black American population and is not appreciably looser or curlier than most black women in our country have.

However, I did go to great pains to specify the potential problems and pitfalls that women with a tighter hair texture of type 4b or c-nap could face. I made changes to my methods to prevent those customers from potentially suffering matting or locking up of their hair. This is a greater risk for women who have that tighter texture. I would hate for anyone to go through matting or dredding. That is why customers MUST follow the book’s directions exactly as I have written them. If a reader tries to make changes to the methods, they run the risk of matting or breakage.

Question: You make the point in the guide book that it’s “more than just hair.” Why do you say that?

Answer: It’s more than just hair because it’s also a tangible aspect of our femininity and our health. The way we care for our hair is a reflection of our self-esteem, and a manifestation of our personal power. As you have pointed out on this blog, beauty is power, and our beauty is a weapon. It is a tool that will either be used in our favor or used by others against us. This is why other women flip and fling their hair in our presence; they are showing dominance over us by showing off their length.

When I unfurl this long hair, let me tell you… I see men just melt. I can have them dangling from a string around my pinkie finger. White men, especially, look at me almost hypnotized. I love the feeling of power I get from my hair. Apart from anyone else’s reaction, I feel beautiful and powerful because of my hair. When I’m in the shower and I feel my hair sweep against my hips, I feel such a sense of accomplishment! I feel so beautiful, and very powerful. I feel like I can do anything on planet Earth that I set my mind to. Every black woman should feel like that.

Question: What do you hope The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program and Guide Book will accomplish for those who use it?

Answer: Most importantly, following the program will boost readers’ health. Readers will learn how to care for their natural hair and come to appreciate how unique and beautiful it is. They will see their hair accumulate length for perhaps the first time in their lives. This can be a wonderful change for those who have always thought that their hair was a hopeless case. There are a great many of black women who have given up even trying to care for their hair. This is a sad state of affairs indeed. Your hair is a part of your body; it should be cared for and maintained just as the rest of you is.

In addition, women who follow the program will enjoy a boost in their pride. I hope that the sense of accomplishment will give readers a springboard to use for success in other parts of their lives. Just as taking your supplements and following a healthy hair regimen every day will yield hair that grows and grows, doing other daily healthy things will build a healthy life. Working out and cutting stress will whittle your body into a beautiful condition. Working diligently on your studies will build a degree, and working assiduously on your escape plan will create a bountiful life. If you can grow your hair from an inch long to all the way down your back, then you can do anything.

Question: Is there anything I haven’t asked about that you’d like to mention to the audience?

Answer: Yes, in addition to the book and supplements, I have created the Extreme Length Lounge. This online forum is where the tutorial videos are posted. There are boards for all of the aspects of the Extreme Length Program in the Lounge. Nutrition, Moisture, Strength, Protection and Styling are covered from all angles.

The Extreme Length Program addresses all of the factors that go into hair growth. These are not restricted to the care you give your actual hair. Surely many readers here have known of a black woman who suffered hair loss during a stressful period in her life. Reducing stress is critical to growing and retaining beautiful tresses. The Extreme Length Lounge has sub-forums for the other aspects of health that will impact your growth and retention. This includes careers, exercise, romantic relationships, family life and education.

The lounge is a place for BWE minded women to talk to one another, support each other and to work on all of their goals. Members can share and learn together about resources and methods to create a fulfilled and amazing life. I believe the Lounge is the best part of the Extreme Length Program. Membership to the forum comes with purchase of the book or supplements.

Khadija Speaking: Again, thanks so much for taking the time to inform me as well as the readers by giving this interview! I truly appreciate it.


Lady Godiva unexpectedly and graciously sent me a free review copy of her program guide book. This didn’t affect my review; I had already planned on buying and reviewing the book when I received the surprise review copy. And now, onto the review portion of this post:


As I mentioned in an earlier post,

Since we’re all adults, we know that looks matter in all areas of life. A lot. In the real world, we are all judged by our appearance. Especially women. For women, beauty is a weapon. A weapon that disarms men of means, power and influence. A weapon that opens doors of opportunity that might otherwise be closed. A weapon that is either working for—or against—each individual woman.

Over the centuries, there’s been a curious reversal. Most marriages were solid structures and only love affairs were ephemeral. Men of influence chose and remained married to their wives for reasons that had very little to do with the woman’s individual attributes. Instead, powerful men chose their wives based on the political status and wealth of the woman’s family.

Generally, as long as her father and brothers maintained their wealth and influence, a wife was relatively secure in her marriage. The political and social price of divorcing or abandoning a wife was prohibitively expensive in earlier eras. Only royal mistresses and courtesans absolutely had to master the arts of capturing and holding powerful men’s interest and desire in order to live well.

There’s been a reversal over the centuries. In the modern West, marriage is fleeting and a woman’s ability to live well is determined by two (sometimes interlocking) skill sets: her ability to provide for herself, and her ability to attract and hold quality men’s interest and desire. A woman who has to do every, single, thing in her life without any man’s help is a burdened woman. Such a woman is operating under a disadvantage in any context, whether it’s at work or at home. Even when there’s no expectation or even serious desire for a liaison, men are more inclined to help a beautiful woman.

Since modern marriages are based on the ever-shifting sands of emotion (and nothing else), it behooves modern women to study the timeless strategies used by women from previous eras. Women whose livelihood depended on their ability to utterly captivate men of means who were surrounded by an endless array of other beautiful women. A woman who wants to:

  • marry,
  • stay married to, or
  • if necessary, quickly replace a husband with another quality husband

would be wise to study the ways of the courtesan.

It goes without saying that a courtesan’s hair was a significant part of her arsenal.


If you’re serious about cultivating your beauty, you’ll abandon the Hair Wars of natural versus relaxed styles, and choose the type of hairstyle that’s most flattering for your face and head. Natural hairstyles are not automatically flattering for every Black woman. During an earlier blog conversation, one reader gave the example of Black woman top chef (Carla Hall) who has a long, thin face. Wearing a round afro made her look like a muppet from Sesame Street. A hairstyle that was oriented more downward than out (and emphasized hair length) was much more flattering to her facial structure. Choose your hairstyle based on what’s most flattering for you, and not ideology.


Proper nutrition—before problems become entrenched—can do good things for a woman’s beauty. Good things that no amount of after-the-damage-is-done interventions can recreate. A wise woman will learn as much as she can about keeping her hair healthy. The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program Guide can help you do that. I strongly recommend it!

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178 Responses to “Interview With Lady Godiva, Author of “The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program Guide””

  1. vonnie says:

    really good interview, can’t wait to get paid so that I can purchase the supplements 😀 I am well on my journey to healthy long hair and look forward to learning even more from lady godiva. Thanks for the interview! sounded good

  2. Karen says:

    I am curious to know whether her book addresses “Terminal Hair Length” which can vary or be limited based on diet, genetics and hormonal changes. Genetics being the aspect that normally cannot be changed or influenced.

    As the growing phase is anywhere from 2-6 years, in that phase, the possibilities for “extreme” hair growth may be limited even when doing all the “right” things. Is this topic covered?

    Another aspect that was alluded to was that the author is mixed European descent – is this first generation? If so, there are still nuances to texture which may not exactly extrapolate to the type of typical AA BW’s hair texture referenced.

    Having not read the book, of course, I cannot assess it, but having had experience with many women trying their best to replicate techniques that are successful for “biracials”, but turn out not to work for them, I hope this book does indeed address this and not gloss over this aspect.

  3. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    Congratulations! I know who this is and I wanted to say that I am so proud of you! I may have to return a few times to peruse everything, these latest posts and site recs have so much info – which is a good thing…

    Congrats and much success!

  4. Nathalie says:

    Yay! This is soo exciting. First of all, congratulations Sojourner- I read your posts about your hair growth with interest and was very excited when you said a book was forthcoming and have been anticipating this and am thrilled that it is here. Second, I’m proud of you and inspired! Being a Sojourner is about taking action-to transform our lives to have the “life and love you deserve,” as Khadija has phrased it. The talk is important, but talk alone won’t set us free–it’s great to see Sojourners making this happen! I just bought a copy. I look forward to buying more for friends and libraries. Will there be a kindle version or paperback? Thanks & Blessings Lady G 🙂

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Oops, I meant to reply to your question earlier! I have not yet decided if I will provide the book in other formats. Time will tell. For now, I think it’s pretty accessible to everyone.

      Thanks so much for your supportive comments!

  5. Joyousnerd says:


    Lady Godiva here 🙂

    Thank you ladies for your support throughout this process, with a deep martial arts bow to Khadija for her help!

    As for the question about terminal length, I don’t focus on it. I feel that most black women have no idea what their terminal length could even be, so the best thing to do is emphasize all the factors we CAN control with respect to healthy hair growth and length retention. Once those factors are taken care of, the client is sure to grow healthier and longer hair than she does now. I’d hate for a woman to not pursue hair health and length simply because she fears she could never reach hip length. The best way to find out one’s terminal length is to maximize her hair’s potential.

    • Karen says:

      Thank you for clarifying that aspect…

      Best of luck to you!

    • Formavitae says:

      Joyous Nerd,

      Congratulations on your book! I just purchased a copy. Is it possible for us to send you a direct email, should we have any questions about the program?

      • Joyousnerd says:

        Thanks for your support! I think the book will likely explain any questions you have. It’s 214 pages of my hair knowledge, so there’s quite a bit of info there!

        In the event that you don’t see the answer in the book, the Lounge is the best place to raise questions, so other members can read the answer too.

        • Formavitae says:

          I just downloaded the book. You look REALLY BEAUTIFUL on the cover! (Just wanted to give you “props”.) I started reading and saw that you have a section entitiled “Qui bono?” I just had to smile. 🙂

          • Joyousnerd says:

            Thank you! My face is on the vitamins and greens ‘n berries too!

            I hope the book is useful to you 🙂

            I fully agree with you about this “black women are not supposed to beautify” foolishness. Black women are already so beautiful that with just a little concerted effort, other races of women get blown out of the water. Luckily, we sojourners KNOW better than to listen to advice that goes against our own interests!

    • JoyousNerd,

      Thanks for graciously taking the time to do the interview—it was fun.

      And THANK YOU for creating a program and guide book that will help AA women keep their hair healthy. {deep martial arts bow}

      Expect Success!

    • Congrats on the release of your book! I figured that you=Lady Godiva, based on previous comments. I just bought the book-I can’t wait to read it.

  6. Formavitae says:

    Thanks for the introduction, Khadija. I will certainly check this out. I’ve always loved hair since I was a little girl. My mom rarely let me wear my own hair down, so I would play in other people’s hair. She would always get on me about that. Now, I disagree with a woman’s value being based upon her hair length or texture, but I’m tired of people acting like if you’re a BW who likes (wears/purchases) long hair, then you hate yourself. There are very few resources available dealing with black hair care. So, I look forward to checking this one out.

    • Formavitae,

      You’re welcome!

      You said, “Now, I disagree with a woman’s value being based upon her hair length or texture, but I’m tired of people acting like if you’re a BW who likes (wears/purchases) long hair, then you hate yourself.”

      I hear you. I’m also sick of hearing silly (or in some cases, not so silly—they’re deliberately trying to sabotage BW) Black folks denigrate any effort any Black woman makes toward maximizing her beauty.

      It reminds me of some of the sinister motives that religious fanatics (of all sorts) have for pressuring female members of their churches and mosques to do everything possible to sabotage their own beauty. [Demands that these women never wear make-up or nail polish. Demands that amount to demanding that they neglect their hair and skin care.]

      When you stop to think about it, these religious and fake political fanatics basically want to keep the BW under their control looking as unkempt and rough-edged as slave women and sharecropping women. Whatever the claimed reasons given for these demands, they all have the same result: limiting a woman’s options and opportunities.

      It’s amazing when you consider how women from other ethnic groups have been allowed and encouraged to develop elaborate beauty cultures. Just think about Indian women’s Ayurvedic beauty care regimens. More AA women need to tune out anybody and everybody who discourages her efforts at beauty.

      Expect Success!

      • Formavitae says:

        I agree. I’ve struggled FOR YEARS with wanting to be more physically attractive yet “modest” as a “good Christian woman”. It’s been hard for me to feel good about myself, when a man appreciates my physical characteristics. We’re taught that a woman’s beauty shouldn’t come from adornments but rather her internal spirit and humble character. Yet, the SAME MEN who tell YOU to be “modest” etc. are seeking out the women who are doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to attract men via sex appeal (often looking like “tramps”–Sorry, that’s my opinion. Unfortunately, I feel like we’re living in “the day of the whore”.) But, anyway. You are SO CORRECT in pointing out that fact that women from other cultures are encouraged to enhance their beauty as much as possible. Many of these other “exotic” women don’t look EXTREMELY “GORGEOUS” until they DO complete their beauty regimen. And, they make sure they do it ALL THE TIME. BW are encouraged to stay “dowdy”, because it reinforces the notion of our “inferiority” as blacks and women. I’ve noticed the way other non/partially black (think Hispanic black) women get upset when I wear my hair long and/or curly. They look at me like I don’t have “the right” to wear my hair in any style I desire. They want BW’s hair to look short and kinky, so that they can assert their “supremacy”. Furthermore, when BW enhance their physical appearance through good self-care and beauty enhancements (of which we often don’t need very many), it illustrates the fact that many/most BW can be equally competitive for the attention of ALL MEN (not just “Negroes”). I’m working on bringing out the best of myself HOLISTICALLY (with a focus on the physical, because that’s the area I’ve neglected the most).

        Not to go on a diatribe (LOL!), but I would like to complete this train of thought. Non-BW straighten, dye, curl, extend, etc. their hair as they wish (how many fake “blonde” Hispanics are out there). They wear colored contacts (how many Asians walk around with blue/green/grey eyes). They get butt, breast, chin, cheek, lip, etc. implants (Kim K anyone, video “vixens). They get liposuction. They tan or bleach, as they desire. And, they never leave the house without “putting their face on” (HOW MANY LAYERS of makeup do you have on again). They wear fake eyelashes, beauty marks, veneers, fingernails, the list goes on and on. But, when a BW wears A WEAVE she’s so “fake, ugly, ghetto”, etc. EXCUSE ME? COME AGAIN? Sorry, I forgot bow down to your “natural beauty” (LOL!). I’ll let the BM do that. Then they dress to enhance their sexual characteristics (so much for “modesty”). Non-BW feel they are (and are ENTITLED TO BE) attractive to ALL MEN (ESP. BM). They LOVE to demonstrate that they can take male attention away from BW (esp. the non-white non-blacks–they feel 2nd to WW, so at least they can say they’re superior to “us” right?). But, BW don’t have the right to be attractive to THEIR men. And, they act like BW don’t have the right to be attractive to BM either. I’m not racist, and I appreciate/acknowledge the beauty of all cultures (though not ALL PEOPLE in all cultures–LOL!), but I’m tired of everyone subjugating the BW and expecting her to stay unattractive and unloved just so that they can feel better about themselves. I’m a rich brown-skinned woman. And, I’ve never been skinny. But, I’ve attracted EVERY TYPE OF MAN I’ve been told I never could attract–black, white, South Asian, East Asian, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, etc. If I were maximizing and harnessing my physical attractiveness (rather than letting it go to waste as I have been), I could REALLY be “a killer” (because I’m intelligent and talented with a GREAT personality as well). I’m now doing MY OWN version of “coming out of the closet”. NO. I’m no “Miss Universe”, but I certainly have the potential to be competitive above “base levels”. MANY BW do. It’s time for us to stop hiding and sabotaging ourselves for the sake of proving something to “the white man”, “unsaved folks”, Hollywood, etc. etc. We need to demonstrate that we are FULLY WOMEN as other women do. It is our right. God created us inferior to NO ONE, regardless of what we’re told. Not to mention that in the Bible Esther underwent all types of beauty treatments so that she could win the heart of the king. So, if she can use physical beauty to win over a man and still be a “godly” woman, why can’t WE?

        • Formavitae,

          I 100% cosign. Including the “diatribe.” LOL!

          Once I figured out the evil motives behind this bad advice that various folks (BM, brain-dead wannabe Erykah Badu types, nonblack women, “exotic” BW such as a number of Black Latinas, and so on…) push off onto BW, then it got to be infuriating to hear folks talk that mess.

          If I wasn’t a lady {smile}, I’d give in to the urge to tell ‘dem folks to STFU with that BS. That’s how I feel inwardly every time I hear that sabotage cr*p. But I’ve perfected the art of the “smile & ignore it” if the saboteur lets it go after saying one crazy thing. To the blank stare for those folks who want to be persistent in suggesting that I transform myself into an unkempt, rough-edged sharecropping woman.

          Expect Success!

        • YMB says:

          All of this is too true. I usually do not wear my hair straight, but when I do it is armpit length. A number of times I have had white women in the workplace try to publicly humiliate me but asking if it were my real hair, and then following up with more questions trying to imply it was still a weave! I did not fail to notice that these women waited until we were in a group setting to start asking about my hair.

  7. Traci says:

    First, I would like to congratulate Joyousnerd (Lady Godiva) on the success of getting her book published. Every time a Sojourner is successful that gives the rest of us ideas of things that we can do for our personal success.

    Second, I would like to thank lady Godiva for starting with nutrition FIRST. As I tell my daughters, hair gets the overflow. If you are eating but nutritionally starving, you hair will be very por quality. A sixty dollar hair creme cannot compensate for poor nutrition.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      I agree wholeheartedly that nutrition is the first step. Nothing else you can do for your hair will have as much impact as nourishing your body with the raw materials for producing strong hair. I like the way you described it “hair gets the overflow”. I think that’s exactly right.

      Stress will weaken the hair as well, precisely because the body cannot work as efficiently with the raw materials it has when it is under attack (stress, anxiety etc).

  8. YMB says:


    Super congrats on the book and supplements! I wish you much success! I will buy the book definitely but right now I have a few questions about the supplements.

    I don’t want you to feel pressed to give away any trade secrets, but could you tell us more about how these were made? What is the accreditation of the laboratory where they are produced and were food scientists, nutritionists, etc involved in creating the formula? Is there info about levels of Vitamin A, etc contained in the Greens ‘n Berries pills?

    I am asking because I already take a number of other supplements and need to be careful not to go over the healthy limits.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      The supplements were formulated by scientists in a laboratory that is independently registered. Both products are FDA approved. If you have specific nutritional needs, then you should stick with what your doctors recommend for you.

      • Joyousnerd says:

        Just to clarify: The FDA does not evaluate the efficacy of any supplement, but they do test for safety. My line of supplements has been tested for safety by the FDA. The effect on hair health or growth has not been tested by the FDA, because the FDA doesn’t offer that testing for any supplements.

        On the website the labels are there for all to see the specific nutrient content. My supplements meet the exact same government specifications as every other legally formulated supplement sold in the United States.

        I hope that everyone who wants to maximize their hair’s potential will try them out.

  9. Zoopath says:

    I’m one of Joyousnerd’s first (if not the first 🙂 customer and I’ve been very well pleased with her advice. I too was a bit concerned (due to her background) about her methods being more suited to those with a looser texture, however her advice has worked very well for my 4a/b hair. Don’t let that concern hold you back from purchasing her book. It’s been a *completely* drama-free transition (4 months and counting) for me which was well-worth the money. In addition, I think her advice would also help women with relaxed hair retain length.

    @YMB: I understand your concern about mixing supplement, I’m already on a bunch of Rx supplements so I haven’t been able to try her supplements yet. You do have to be careful about toxic doses of fat soluble vitamins. I’m going to buy them for my mom for mother’s day and have her try them in the meantime.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Hi Zoopath (excited waving)!!

      Thank you for your recommendation 🙂 I’m glad the transition is going well for you!

      Zoopath is one of my webcam consultation clients. If any of you would like to schedule a webcam consult, use the Contact form on my website to let me know what you’d like advice on, when you are free, and your time zone. The fee is $100/hr for the consult, with follow up support included.

  10. SweetIslandGirl says:

    God is good!

    Thank you for this interview.

    Lately I have been searching for a vitamin and hair system that will provide allthe supplements I need in 1 or 2 pills that will contribute to healthy hair growth from the inside out. I used to take up to 6 pills a day of different beneficial minerals and supplments to achieve my success. It had become both expensive and exhausting. This system seems to be what I had been praying and seeking and answer for.

    Thank you

    You will have a new customer with me come friday.

    Joyous Nerd,

    Are there any other supplements that I cannot take with these vitamins? I am currently taking supplments to keep my digestive system efficient so I am intrigued to know.

    How long, on average, after starting this system should one begin to see results bearing in mind of course that everyone’s hair grows differently?

    Do you recommend a woman to continue to use heat (I prefer my hair to be straight) to maintain her style preference or should she employ protective styling?

    • Joyousnerd says:

      I used to take multiple supplements as well, in order to get the correct mix. Unfortunately, I was getting too much silica that way. The supplements make it so easy! No more choking down handfuls of pills!

      The book explains all about the use of heat and protective styling. There are many variations that women can take and still allow themselves to grow & protect their mane will keeping a sleek appearance. As I said earlier, it’s 214 pages of info! If you have a question, odds are great that the answer is in there 🙂

      Once you implement the program you are likely to see increased growth within a few months, and you will be able to retain this length so long as you follow the book’s directions about protecting your hair.

  11. Congratulations Joyous Nerd on your new book. This is an amazing undertaking and I’m so proud. I really appreciate the way you address the issue of nutrition and how crucial it is for overall beauty including hair health. I also think it’s great that you talk about how good nutrition doesn’t have to be crazy expensive. I’m convinced that there’s a conspiracy behind this notion that only well-to-do people are the only ones who can afford to eat right. It makes me crazy that every time the press talks about healthy eating they show Whole Foods (or as I call it Whole Paycheck). I’ve eaten well my entire life, grew up in the country and know that a healthy eaters best friend is the farmer’s market. Fresh grown produce, simply prepared is not crazy expensive and not particularly time-consuming either. Even as a single woman living in an apartment I always managed to grow some of my own food, even if it was nothing but tomatoes and herbs. All the women in my family have always had long healthy hair and I think that’s directly attributable to our diets.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Thank you, Roslyn! I’m following in your footsteps as an author! I love growing my own food. It is a fun and relaxing hobby that pays serious dividends. I believe everyone needs to eat fresh food! Even just a few herbs under a grow light is within reach and provides a benefit to your body.

  12. Sophia says:

    Congrats Joyousnerd! I used to lurk and have recently come up to join the fscinating discussions you all engage in and I recall you talking about writing a book some months ago. Colour me impressed that you did it and produced a line of supplements as well!!!! Way to go!!! I’m inspired!

  13. Robynne says:

    Congrats Joyousnerd! Before I read the comments, I knew this was you! I have fairly long natural hair (mid back when straight), but I would like to grow my hair to my waist. I know that is attainable. Thus far, I have failed at that – I don’t know how to combat the breakage problem once my hair gets to a certain length. So, I will purchase your book ASAP! I’m already taking regular multivitamins, but I’ll get to the supplements come my next paycheck. Again, congratulations!

  14. miss cosmic says:

    Hello Khadija,

    thank you for this interview and review.

    i especially like the question relating to race and hair growth because a lot of women ARE trying to achieve things that their hair just cannot achieve simply because of texture. i myself had a miserable time in high school trying to get my hair to be as straight and silky as my friend’s, not knowing that she was mixed. she was dark-skinned like the rest of us, but never let on that one of her grandparents was white. thinking about the lengths i went to then makes me laugh now, but it was far from funny at the time.

    i eventually gave up on growing long hair and settled for shoulder-length, and was happy because that was the norm where i’m from. it is only in recent years that i found the hairboards and started trying to grow my hair once more. again, i take everything with a pinch of salt as i have once more realised that not every black woman, not even many black women (at least, not those on the hairboards), have hair like mine 🙂
    thank you again for the review.

    and Joyousnerd, congratulations and lots of success to you!

    • miss cosmic,

      You’re welcome!

      You said, “i especially like the question relating to race and hair growth because a lot of women ARE trying to achieve things that their hair just cannot achieve simply because of texture.”

      Yes, I asked that question because I have seen a lot of BW trying to imitate the way various hair models’ hair looks without understanding that the model usually has a hair texture that’s different from theirs.

      I’m not a hair expert, and I haven’t read up on hair. I have wondered about the various “terminal lengths” that different hair textures can achieve. At the end of the day, I believe that hair HEALTH is a prerequisite for hair length.

      There’s no real way to find out how long one’s hair is capable of getting and staying (because folks’ hair typically is growing; the problem is that it breaks off past a certain length) without a firm base of HEALTHY hair. So the first step is to get one’s hair as healthy as possible.

      I like the way Lady Godiva’s/Joyous Nerd’s book focuses on the nutrition and health angle. That, plus the techniques she mentions for protecting your hair as it grows (so it doesn’t break off past a certain length), are the keys.

      Expect Success!

      • Joyousnerd says:

        Thanks, Khadija, you have taken the words right out of my mouth!

        Surely you ladies have seen black people with extremely long dredlocked hair. These are often women and men with 4b or cnap textured hair, yet they manage to attain extreme length. Clearly 4b and cnap textured hair CAN grow to extreme length; this is evident.

        The keys to making that goal happen are nourishing the body adequately so that strong hair can be produced, and then protecting that hair so that the length won’t break off.

        Terminal length is different for each person, that’s true. However- the way that you determine if terminal length has been reached is whether the hair is still growing from the scalp or not. If you still have “new growth” coming in, then you have NOT reached terminal length. Why worry that your hair cannot reach hip or tailbone length, when you could be maximizing your hair’s ability and grow it to waist length? Isn’t that longer than what you have now?

        Terminal length is in part determined by your nutritional intake!! Boosting your nutritional intake is the best path to long healthy hair. This is especially important for women with a tighter hair texture, because the multiple zig zags in each shaft provide more opportunity for breakage. If your hair is stronger, it can withstand this risk more easily and for a longer period of time. This translates to retention of more length.

        • Melissa Q. says:

          In truth, i think a lot of theis hair breakage is from improper relaxer use. My mom still relaxes her hair, but she uses the “old method”. She only uses a little to soften it a bit then washes it off after a couple minutes. Then she uses the rollers and sits under a dryer. The lack of heavy relaxer use helps to retain length.

          Now I hear the new method for AAs is to leave the relaxer on until it is bone straight, which leads to over-processing. Then they usually flat iron the hair after the relaxer, damaging it even more. Relaxers don’t work well when they are used to make the hair bone straight by itself. This is why we see a lot of short cropped do’s today and breakage.

          The Dominican salons are using a method similar to the “old method”, this is why they’re so popular.

        • zoe1231 says:


          Congrats I am truly proud of you and SOLD (LOL)!!! I i will be getting your book (probably tomorrow) it’s like 3am here in Miami. Before I buy into hair care regimens I check to see if they are making sense – and you do. For example, in regards to the whole terminal growth issue that’s get injected from time to time, living in Miami I see tons of island and/or American (straight-up black… black/black) people with dreads. Curious thing – most of their dreads are to the BEHINDS. As a matter of fact, the average waist for dreads is between mid-back and waist length. Yet you never hear them mention terms like terminal length etc. Or any other supposed barrier to long hair.

          I’ve tried to get a co-worker to understand this angle when discussing the whole “BW hair/ beauty sabotage” with her… These “locked” people’s regimen is quite simple, since they are from the islands, they pretty much eat healthy food and are NOT subjecting their bodies and manes to a million different toxins (as far as they can control).

          Thanks again for another wonderful interview.

  15. energize says:

    This book is perfect timing for me! I LOVE long healthy hair, I always want to touch it. I have never achieved my desired length, ever. So again, I’ve decided to grow out my natural hair because this is when I get strong length. And I’ve been searching for some ideas on how to develop an affordable, healthy regimine and pretty styles. I have had too many nightmare experiences with chemicals. When I go to a stylist, the first recommendation is a short cut i.e., Former White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers look (looks great for her, but not what I want). Most of my friends have the same above ear cuts. Is there a conspiracy to keep bw hair short? My hair is thick and only takes a few minutes to chemically straighten. Even after I a explain my hair type, the chemical is left on waaay too long and the results are limp, weak, damaged hair. I’m looking forward to reading your book Joyousnerd! Save me! : )

    • Melissa Q. says:

      Is it possible that you can grow your hair out natural, and flat iron/straighten it instead? I know several black girls with long afro textured hair that flat iron their hair every two to three weeks. I personally think proper at home flat ironing (with the right flat iron and heat protection) is much more easier than a relaxer, and you don’t need to worry about over-processing. Also, the heat protection seals out outside moisture and protects the hair from high heat from the flat iron, so it shouldn’t revert, as long as you avoid water.

      • energize says:

        Melissa Q – Thanks for those recommendations. I agree. That’s the direction I’m going. The growing out process takes much patience. I seen a pressing comb featured in Essence designed to protect you from burns. Then, I couldn’t decide what’s the better purchase curling iron, flat iron or pressing comb? Too much. Before I add any more to my long list of hair products and tools, I’m going to read “The Lady Godiva Hair Extreme Length Program Guide”.

        • Joyousnerd says:

          There is a whole chapter in the book about the proper use of heat. I’m not a fan of frequent use of direct heat, because it is too damaging.

          I just wanted to say that natural hair can be worn in ways OTHER than the afro. Just because your hair is short and natural does not mean you need to present yourself with a short fluffy afro hairstyle. If you like the silky straight look, you can achieve it with the help of a fall (half-wig)and protect your natural hair so that it can accumulate length.

          I advocate women using every tool in their arsenal. You can have that va-va-va-voom look of sleek bouncy curls down your back and still have your hair healthy and protected. There are ways of having the best of both worlds- I know I take advantage of every one of them.

          I think readers will take away lots of helpful information that lets them maximize their hair’s health and length, without sacrificing the look they are going for.

          • Melissa Q. says:

            Also, have you guys have tried wash and sets? I’ve seen many girls on youtube with 4a textured hair that use setting lotion and rollers. The set their hair in rollers and then sit under a dryer to straighten the hair. After it cones out silky and soft. The only thing I do not like about this method that it takes a lot of technique to do, but it can be done.

  16. Palmwater says:

    Joyousnerd, congratulations on the book! I just purchased a copy and look forward to reading your book!

  17. Faith Dow says:

    Another great interview! The nutritional and affordability aspects will bode us all well on our quests to be our best selves. The book is on my list.

  18. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    This is awesome! I love this interview, all the comments, and I am cosigning on the whole BW beauty saboteurs! I thought my experiences with that were personal, but I see there is a conspiracy. I have some prior commitments, but I will try to get the book in the near future. Congrats again Joyousnerd!

  19. Lynn says:

    Congratulations, Joyousnerd!

    I’m so happy your product is available. Khadija has been an enormous inspiration for me, too. It’s good to see other ladies taking the BWE lessons and applying them for success.

    I’ve tried to purchase your book, but paypal is experiencing difficulties with my account. I’m gonna get this resolved so that I can access the wonderful knowledge that you’ve carefully gathered and tested. Again, congratulations, and I’m so happy for you!

  20. NijaG says:

    Congrats Joyousnerd!!!

    I just bought your book and glanced through it quickly. Great info. When it comes to my hair I definitely need step by step instructions.

  21. Joyousnerd says:

    Energize- I think the book will be very eye opening for you and can certainly help you get more length. Short cuts are pressed onto black women for several reasons. I go into this in depth in the book, but, in short:

    1) Short cuts require frequent trims that are the stylist’s bread and butter.

    2) Short cuts hide the fact that the techniques used in salons create tons of damage. They snip it away before you can notice it.

    3) Stylists don’t really usually know HOW to make BWs hair grow. long. Lots of them insist it’s impossible.

    Big thanks to Palmwater, Lynn, Faith and Oshun/Aphrodite as well as all the rest of you supportive ladies 😀 most especially Khadija!

  22. MissASP1993 says:

    Hi! Great interview, Kadejah.

    Lady G, I was wondering if your methods require a “big chop” to natural hair and/or no relaxers? Thanks!

    • MissASP1993,

      Thanks for your kind words about the interview; I truly appreciate it. The interview was fun!

      Expect Success!

    • Zoopath says:

      I was all ready to big chop and Lady G spent 10 minutes persuading me *not* to do it. So there is definitely no big chop required.

    • MissASP1993,

      No, the “big chop” is NOT required to transition out of having permed/relaxed hair. I haven’t revealed this on-blog before, because I didn’t want to be a part of anybody’s Natural Hair Jihad, but I’ve been transitioning out of relaxed hair. Without doing the “big chop.”

      I stopped getting my hair relaxed as of August 7, 2010 (I know the date because I marked it down as “Hair Freedom Decision Day” in my scrapbook). We haven’t talked about this extensively, but I did mention this to Lady G/Joyous Nerd around the time when we first started talking about doing an interview. Her book has a chapter about transitioning out of perms that’s been very helpful.

      For the record, I’ll note that my issue wasn’t about the Natural Hair Jihad that some other BW are engaged in. I’ve done “the big chop” and have worn natural styles in the past. My reason for transitioning out of the perm was that I didn’t want to be chained to a hair salon and some hair relaxer. I want to do some long-term travel, and I don’t want to be in a spot where I’m frantically trying to find some Black person to flap some perm in my head when I’m 3,000 miles away from the Chicago area.

      So, I’ve been getting flat iron and curls every 2 weeks. With periodic trims of the permed hair. Eventually, I’ll figure out what kind of natural style I want to wear, and go from there. The transition has worked out well for me so far. I’ve been able to more or less keep the same hairstyle. My scalp feels better, and I’m happy to have that extra bit of freedom. My experience has been that, as the perm grows out, you have to be extra careful about protecting the demarcation line between the old permed hair and the natural new growth.

      Expect Success!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      A big chop is never a requirement! The book clearly explains how a woman can transition successfully. I do advocate going chemical-free for women who want maximum length. However, there are many women who use my methods to increase their hair’s health, strength and length who do use chemicals.

      • MissASP1993 says:

        Thanks to everyone who answered! I actually transitioned for about a year and let my natural hair grow out while losing the relaxed. I was straightening it everyday for a few months so just went back to a relaxer because it made it last longer. Hopefully your book will help me like the other relaxed women because I think I do want to keep it relaxed (for now). Thank you so much!

      • SweetIslandGirl says:

        I think the “Big Chop” is yet another tool to help negatively “other” bw. I might be alone in this thinking but I never saw the practicality in chopping off my permed hair to walk around the corporate world with a shaved head to engage in my own personal crusade for freddom from relaxers.

        No other race of woman does this and I saw it as an invitation for questions that would put me in the spotlight more as a intriguing specimen then a valued member of my working environment. Hair length is a sign of health and beauty. Again, among many of my peers I am alone in this thinking.

        I successfully transitioned by wearing protective styles, and treatments and grew my permed SL (shoulder length) hair to APL length (arm pit length)before I cut it again.

        • SweetIslandGirl,

          {sustained standing ovation and applause}

          THANK YOU!! I 100% cosign. You’ve said exactly what I’ve come to feel about The Big Chop! I held back on making a comment very similar to yours because I’ve already angered the Natural Hair Jihadis.

          Over the past few years, I’ve concluded that The Big Chop is yet another trick designed to convince BW that othering themselves somehow equals liberation. No other race of women chop off their hair like that. Or promote chopping off their hair like the way many BW cheerlead other BW chopping off their hair. In the overall universe of women, those type of very short-cropped looks are generally associated with cancer patients and “acting butch” lesbians. Imma say it: Who the heck wants to look like that?!

          As SweetIslandGirl noted—among typical humans, “Hair length is a sign of health and beauty.”

          Ladies, this is yet another reminder of how if you’re the only one (or BW are the only ones) doing something, then whatever you’re doing is probably a bad idea.

          Expect Success!

          • SweetIslandGirl says:

            Exactly Khadija!

            If black women would just stop, think and ask themselves “qui bono?” they will avoid the tricks disguised as trends and protect their own brand and self interests from poisonous peers and the damaged members of the BC.

            Other tricks we need to ask ourselves qui bono before we jump on the bandwagon

            1. The notion that its ok to wear chunky twists, an afro, or plaits to the office environment because we are black and thats just what black women do.

            2. The notion that its ok to wear 3 colours in your hair one week, then a different length and colour the next because black womens hair is versatile and its our form of self expression.

            3. Being a known non-Muslim and wearing a head wrap to the office because as a black woman you can do this as self expression and the white people cant say anything about it.

            Ask yourself, do you see Asian women wearing chop sticks in their hair to work and/or a traditional Asian dress? Do Indian women wear sari’s, or brightly coloured fabrics and mehndi designs on their hands as self expression to work?

            They don’t. Why? Because it others them and they want to control the type of spotlight shone on them in the office.

            There is so much I can say about the destructive propaganda fed to black women by the BC and fueled by other non bw who recognize the opportunities to make themselves stand out on the backs of foolish black women.

          • SweetIslandGirl,

            I agree. Although, I will note that, as far as I can tell, Whites stopped caring that much about Black folks’ hair sometime during the 1980s. I mean “caring” in the sense of there being negative repercussions for natural hairstyles. The Natural Hair Jihadis are living in a time warp and fantasizing that they’re currently engaged in the hairstyle battles of the 1960s.

            But that’s just an artifact of their Oppositional Defiant Disorder fantasy. In the vast majority of work environments, White people stopped sanctioning Black folks for natural hair (as long as it’s neat) once they realized that there was NOTHING political about those hairstyles. Once upon a time, a natural hairstyle signified that Black person having a certain type of political or cultural consciousness. But that stopped being the case three decades ago.

            For the past 30 years, a hairdo is just a hairdo. It doesn’t mean anything political or cultural. These natural hairdos are simply fads like any other hairdo.

            Moving right along…Frankly, I’m NOT thrilled about the handful of working Muslim women who insist upon running around the workplace in headscarves. I feel that if it’s that deep, then that Muslim woman needs to be self-employed or a stay at home mother or some such. And NOT in the general work environment.

            Because all she’s doing is making herself a walking target. Meanwhile, roughly 95% of Muslim men are busy doing all they can to blend in at work. Muslim men in the US hide behind silly Muslim women like that. Pressuring and encouraging silly Muslim women to make themselves human targets by constantly wearing headscarves makes these men feel holy without having to assume any of the risks or burdens associated with feeling holy. It’s yet another trick and scam.

            Anyhoo, you’re absolutely right that East Asian and South Asian women DON’T bring or wear any cultural baggage whatsoever to work that would only serve to “other” themselves.

            As you said, ” Because it others them and they want to control the type of spotlight shone on them in the office.”

            I freely give them their “props.” Asian women are experts at discreetly controlling the sort of light that’s cast on them in the work environment. They’re not doing all the Needlessly Damage Your Career Dumb Stuff that BW are encouraged to get off into. As you said, “There is so much I can say about the destructive propaganda fed to black women by the BC and fueled by other non bw who recognize the opportunities to make themselves stand out on the backs of foolish black women.”

            That’s right. There are lots of nonblack women who boost themselves that much more on the backs of many BW’s foolish self-sabotage.

            Expect Success!

          • Tracy says:

            I would sit back and watch the reactions to “The Big Chop” and side eye the supporters. It was almost a frenetic wave of Go Head Girl’s. I often wondered if more than a few of them were glad to have some company in looking like my Uncle Fred and being dateless…

            If you have a round head, a double chin, and a package of hot dogs of the back of your neck, you cannot do the big chop. You want someone to notice “how big my eyes are”? Get some Maybelline and leave your hair alone!

          • Tracy,

            You ain’t never lied! ITA!

            Especially with your specific mention of how The Big Chop draws extremely unflattering attention to things like the (obesity-produced) package of hot dogs rolls on the back of some women’s necks. As usual, your observations are spot on.

            These are some practical, pragmatic questions that women need to think about before they do The Big Chop.

            Expect Success!

          • MsMellody says:

            Khadija said;
            “Over the past few years, I’ve concluded that The Big Chop is yet another trick designed to convince BW that othering themselves somehow equals liberation. No other race of women chop off their hair like that. Or promote chopping off their hair like the way many BW cheerlead other BW chopping off their hair. In the overall universe of women, those type of very short-cropped looks are generally associated with cancer patients and “acting butch” lesbians. Imma say it: Who the heck wants to look like that?!”

            Thank you for saying this Khadija. Just plain ol’ thanks!!!
            I am ordering my book/supplements today as well.

            I am so glad to read this article and to find out that the author is a frequent contributor and reader..that is just another plus for me!!
            Thank you for discussing this very important issue of beauty and having pride in our own individual beauty. It feels good to be a beautiful woman, to like yourself and most of all it feels good to show it to the world!! Hair and femininity go hand in hand. And this topic of the “Big Chop” and how another commentor talked about her total misgiving of undertaking such foolishness because of walking around coporate america looking as an “other” is so so true. Thank you for that insightful comment also- commentor Sweet Island Girl. That meant a lot to read that common sense reply.

        • MissASP1993 says:

          Good point! I never thought about it that way in terms of othering but it is so true. I have seen this in the last few years with all the black women in the music industry following the Solange Knowles shaved or Cassie half-shaved. I think it tends to make bw look crazy/unapproachable. I feel the same way about wigs and unnatural looking weaves. Like you all have said, its about what flatters you not political statements and dumb trends!

          • MissASP1993,

            I had to look up this “Cassie” individual you mentioned with the half-shaved head. (I had never heard of her before.)

            That half-shaved head was not cute. It reminds me of the crazy/unapproachable-looking individuals (of all sorts, including Mr. T) who had punk rock mohawks during the 80s. Feh.

            Expect Success!

        • Brittany says:

          As someone who did go through “The Big Chop,” I will say this is an angle I had honestly not considered at all. I do agree that one can transition for a time long enough to gain length – in my case, I had worn braids for three months and when I took the braids down and felt that my unprocessed hair had grown out, I was just past ready to move on the next stage, so I grabbed the scissors and cut off all my permed hair, right there in my dorm room before math class….I remember it well. I had like two inches of hair :). Granted, I was in college at the time and feeling adventurous….my boyfriend at the time (who was black) definitely did not like it though…pre-BC my hair was long (but thinning and breaking), and that’s what he was used to.

          Getting OT though….there is something to be said for what is mentioned here. In my case, I was just ready to be done with it and didn’t want to spend any more money on braids etc. so I cut. My mom pressed my hair until high school, so I did have a good idea of my texture pre-BC (4c). For some people I think it is the newfound awareness of their texture that equates to the jihad-like experience….but, that is not the only way to do it. I do think having a (relatively) healthy relaxed head is more conducive to a longer transition than relaxed hair that is damaged…in the case of damaged hair, one is likely to have to cut their hair at some point along the way, regardless.

  23. Shermy says:

    Congratulations Lady G/Joyousnerd! Awesome interview Khadijah! I’ve been natural for about 7 years now and have NEVER had the desire to go back to relaxers or straitening. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all of the information the hair blogs have shared and am glad to see this book come to fruition as well. Healthy hair is amazing and makes one feel amazing. Its also a great way to bond with other women. My roommate and I are constantly sharing info and products and it’s just loads of fun! Beauty should be fun! Thanks to the both of you for adding to mix!!!!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      I love your enthusiasm! Natural hair is less costly, less exposure to chemicals, and less restriction as Khadija pointed out. I remember when I lived in New Mexico trying to find a relaxer! Same deal in Hawaii… I hated that feeling that I needed to scour the earth for the chemicals. Now you could drop me anywhere on earth and my hair would still flourish!

    • Shermy,

      You’re welcome!

      Expect Success!

  24. Mariposa Linda says:

    I, too, purchased the ebook. I’m almost finish reading it and I’m very pleased with what I’ve read. I like that the procedures in the book are extremely specific. I also like the recommendations for specific products and supplements. With so many products on the market, I often end up trying a bunch of different hair products which causes clutter and makes it impossible to know what the long term effects of any of the products are. As I finish my hair products and supplements, I will systematically replace my products with the one’s JN recommends. My linen closet and supplement cabinet will breathe a sigh of relief along with my pockets. I’m looking forward to implementing this program. Kudos to JN for her new book and message board.

    Khadijah, thanks for the recommendation!

    • Mariposa Linda,

      You’re welcome!

      Expect Success!

    • joyousnerd says:

      I’m glad you like my book 🙂 As you’ve no doubt noticed, the products I recommend are not expensive by any means. I see other women spending a king’s ransom on products and it just makes me shake my head- the results are underwhelming and the cost is insane.

      • zoe1231 says:

        Hello again JoyousNerd, *waving*

        I ordered the book and vitamins/supplements today (can’t wait to receive my order) and I must say that your products are very reasonably priced compared to some of the other vitamins & supplements that I have come across.

        I have already started reading the book – on Chapter 4 and it’s great so far… I’m already natural, but am doing the sew-in weave route until I decide how I want to wear my hair in the long run. Thanks again!!! And I am just glad that my funds are going to another BW. I hope that this really takes off for you.

        Later Ladies!

        • Joyousnerd says:

          Thank you for your support 🙂
          The supplements will cost less than your morning coffee, and do so much for your hair. Your nails will get stronger too.

          I kept the prices affordable because I want to give a great value to my customers. This is important to me on a personal level.

  25. Natalie says:

    Hello Khadija and all other Sojourners

    I really enjoyed reading the interview of Lady Godiva’s hair treatment. I have been styling my hair natural for several years now and my question is since I prefer to stay natural will I have the results I would like to achieve in hair length??. I believe my hair type to medium/fine texture. The usual natural styles I put my hair in have been cornrows, single braiding my own natural hair, flattwists, bantu knots, twists, twist outs, etc. I have never styled my hair in weaves, synthetic hair styles, hair clips, hair pieces, lace fronts, and not even dyed my hair. I have only relaxed my hair in past and the damage from the relaxers caused me to become natural…… I’m not against how any other BW want to wear their hair I just know I regret that I ever relaxed my hair because at the time I did it to fit in middle school and what caused my relaxed hair to get damage was at that time I did not know how to manage/care for relaxed hair.

    • Hi Natalie,

      I don’t want anybody to feel defensive about wearing natural styles. After all, I’m transitioning to ultimately have a natural style. My thing is that I’m sick of seeing the Natural Hair Jihadis browbeat and denigrate other BW because they’re wearing permed or otherwise straightened hairstyles.

      Frankly, at this point, I’m sick of ALL types of dogma and ideologies. AA women need to get away from ALL of the thought-stopping cliches, jargon, catchphrases, and slogans. And start asking practical, pragmatic questions about various choices. The point of asking pragmatic questions is to figure out whether any particular choice fits into one’s overall life plan.

      AA women need to do their own individual cost-benefit analyses, and do whatever works best for their own individual circumstances.

      Expect Success!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Natural hair, properly nourished, carefully maintained and protected, is likely to retain more length than relaxed hair.

      I’d just like to say that your hair may appear to just be naturally fine in texture (meaning the strands have a thin diameter) but once you begin the supplements that may change. I have seen it time and again; women who swore their hair was just naturally thin and fine grow some thick strong strands once they up their nutritional intake. Proper care for the scalp makes a world of difference too. This is covered in the book.

  26. Lorie says:


    I enjoyed the interview very much. I believe I will purchase the ebook shortly. I’m not ready to give up my relaxer yet but am ready to explore new possibilities for my hair. My hair used to reach the middle of my back but now I can’t get it past shoulder length. I can’t wait!

    Also, Khadija, I agree that relying on relaxers makes it hard to travel. Some women won’t even travel to their local gym go to the gym in order to save their hair… 🙂

    Thank you Khadija and Lady Godiva

    • Melissa Q. says:

      Also, Khadija, I agree that relying on relaxers makes it hard to travel. Some women won’t even travel to their local gym go to the gym in order to save their hair…

      Personally, I think the “my-god-hair-obsession!!!” trickbag is another way to “other” bw. BW are always portrayed as obsessing over hair texture, and good hair/bad hair ‘hair-talk’ is nonsense. They even made a whole film about it (Beauty Shop). Shudders.

  27. Sylvia says:

    Thank you Khadija for bringing us another living well post.

  28. Lorie and Sylvia,

    You’re welcome!

    Expect Success!

  29. YMB says:

    I am very much pro-natural hair for myself and for young black girls at least til they are teenagers so they can learn how to properly care for their hair without being life-long dependent on chemical processes. I think it puts BW at a huge, very limiting disadvantage that our natural hair is so alien to us and that we have to learn as adults how to take care of it. The teenage sister of one of my friends recently told her that she would only consider marrying white men because, “I can’t deal with black hair”.

    I also did not do a big chop when I went natural over a decade ago. It always seemed an odd and unnecessary prerequisite to transitioning but I never examined it deeper than that. Now I see the greater negative impacts of that (beyond just not having any hair on your head!).

    Another friend of mine is undergoing treatment for breast cancer and will be starting chemo soon. I learned about cancer patients using cooling caps to prevent hair loss and passed that information on to her. She is buying one on Amazon. Since many of us know or will know someone who will be affected by cancer, I will post an update about her experiences with it in the future. Here’s an article from the San Francisco Gate about it.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Yes, transitioning is very do-able, but it can be overwhelming if you aren’t sure how to go about it. I’ve walked readers through their choices and the potential ramifications in the book.

      I advocate natural hair strongly- for women who want maximum length. Women who choose to use chemicals are unlikely to attain hip length in my professional opinion.

      That being said, not every woman desires that extreme length. Some women would be delighted to have hair that hangs to her bra strap. My methods can help a woman with relaxed hair attain that, but again I reiterate that in my opinion, hip length or longer is very very difficult to attain with chemicals.

      I agree with you that young black girls need to start out natural, so that they can learn how to care for their natural hair.

      • YMB says:

        I wanted to add another comment to the “modesty” and “vanity” discussions about BW’s hair. I just today learned that Orthodox Jewish women have to shave their heads on their wedding days and then wear sheitels (wigs) or snoods (scarves) to cover their heads afterwards.

        There is a pretty in-depth article about it, She Goes Covered, which focuses on an Israeli immigrant who became a master sheitel maker and moved her family and her business to Peru so she could have direct access to the hair for sale there.

        It appears that most American rabbis approve of sheitels and don’t have a problem with allowing observant Jewish women to abide by the modesty dictates of their religion without othering themselves and making themselves look unattractive and out of place in wider society. There is a pretty large Orthodox population in my area and I had no idea most of the women were wearing wigs!

      • YMB says:

        Oops- the above comment was not meant to be to this thread. I bought the book a few days ago and I am really excited to see several new protective hairstyles and techniques detailed that I didn’t already know about- even after being natural for more than 10 years! This is the kind of info I was seeking at the natural hair expo I went to last month, and didn’t find. Thanks for putting it all in one place!

        • Joyousnerd says:

          You are quite welcome. As I explain in the book, I have researched for years. Some of the info in the book is out there in other places… but it is buried in useless or incorrect information. I have sifted through and separated the wheat from the chaff, as well as added the techniques that I created, and compiled it into one compact volume. If I could go back in time and pay someone else $20 instead of combing through the world’s accumulated info, I would have done that! I believe it is worth the price for the time savings alone.

  30. KimP says:

    Congrats Joyousnerd on your new book and a passive income stream!

    I’m a new transitioner and I checked out your site and expect to purchase a copy of your ebook by the end of this week!

    I love the idea of only granting access to the forum upon purchase of the book! That’s a brilliant idea I’d like to incorporate on some of my sites.

    Again, congratulations!

    • joyousnerd says:

      Thanks you! The reason I restricted access to the forum is to make it a Troll Free Zone… or at least a Reduced Troll Presence Zone lol.

  31. A Different View says:

    Congrats on the book and I appreciate that you’re getting this info out there for those who would like it. I do have some reservation about this though. Although I haven’t read the book, I think most black women who aren’t mixed in recent generations, and there are plenty of us out there, should be careful not to have unrealistic expectations. I feel a lot better about myself and my hair understanding that I will never have the hair of biracial people, why- because it’s not in my DNA.

    The right decision of what to do with your hair is different for everyone, but I’ve found that equating beauty and femininity with long, straight, silky hair only, mostly, or above other physical qualities will ultimately leave black women with coarse/kinky hair feeling bad about themselves. I hope that all of us growing out our hair can have some balance as opposed to falling into an abyss of self-satisfaction at our own hair growing abilities and new found attractiveness to men.

    To the author and all those with extremely long hair – A good and worthwhile exercise would be to cut most of your hair off to donate it to Locks of Love, a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 21 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. Then your extremely long hair can help bring confidence and pride not only to yourself, but to a truly deserving child.

    Once you’ve donated, then work to grow your hair to extreme lengths again.

    • A Different View,

      In response to your comment I say a big: NO—H*ll To The No!

      I say NO! to both the surface content of your comment, as well as its underlying premises. I’ll note that your comment is a somewhat more subtle version of the hateration/crab in a barrel comments that I’ve deleted. I let yours through because it’s a good example of the type of thinking that I want more AA women to reject out of hand.

      NO—I’m NOT going to give my hair to charity, and I don’t appreciate you trying to saddle BW’s beauty with some false …contrived… fake obligation to give to some hair charity. All throughout your comment, you tried to negate the legitimacy of BW pursuing beauty in general and long hair in particular. NO—I say “no” to that. I can’t emphasize that “no” enough! LOL!

      I reject all of that anti-beauty mess. And I strongly urge the readers to reject it too.

      First of all, I thoroughly covered the point of the book author having one nonblack parent. During the interview itself, I covered the point of women taking account of hair models’ often different hair textures (whether such models are so-called “biracial” or not). This point was again reiterated in the comment section to this post when I said,

      Yes, I asked that question because I have seen a lot of BW trying to imitate the way various hair models’ hair looks without understanding that the model usually has a hair texture that’s different from theirs.

      So, your choice to beat that particular dead horse-topic is suspect. Then you went on to another bad-faith issue when you said, “I’ve found that equating beauty and femininity with long, straight, silky hair only, mostly, or above other physical qualities will ultimately leave black women with coarse/kinky hair feeling bad about themselves.”

      During this conversation, women have been talking about LENGTH. Length in terms of all sorts of hairstyles; whether straightened, relaxed, or natural—hairstyles across the board. You’re the one who said “straight, silky hair.” In fact, the example was given of Black folks who have extremely long dreadlocks. The long dreadlocks that came up in the conversation are—by definition—typically “coarse” and “kinky” hair. Furthermore, nobody except you talked about “other physical qualities.” This mess is coming from you. Not the conversation itself. You’re trying to insert things—mainly YOUR issues—into the conversation that aren’t there.

      You said, “I hope that all of us growing out our hair can have some balance as opposed to falling into an abyss of self-satisfaction at our own hair growing abilities and new found attractiveness to men.”

      I reject the notion that BW’s beauty must somehow be “balanced” with anything. No other race of women’s beauty is required to be “balanced” with anything. And the use of the term “balanced” implies having a counterweight. As in introducing something that offsets or works to neutralize the beauty that we’re talking about cultivating as BW. NO—That’s straight-up crazy.

      I notice how the cultivation of beauty is only characterized as somehow being negative (and something that needs to be “balanced”—or burdened, or offset with things like contrived obligations for charity) when AA Black women are the ones who are cultivating their beauty.

      Ladies, reject this nonsense out of hand.

      Expect Success!

      • Thank you for spotting this evil person and putting their foolishness on front street! This person had the nerve to say that BW need to ‘balance’ their ‘newfound’ attractiveness as our hair grows long. Uhm, I’ve always been attractive, no ‘newfound’ situation going on with me. Also, I’m heterosexual and it will always be to my advantage to be as attractive to men as possible, so, no, I don’t think I’ll be trying to balance my prettiness with its opposite.

        • MissGlamtastic,

          Guurl…these crabs-in-a-barrel are craaay-zeee.

          Whenever they see other AA women making moves to take their rightful place on the global stage, alarm bells start ringing in all of these nuts’ heads, and they snap to attention. And then they start doing whatever they can in hopes of sabotaging these moves.

          It’s like clockwork. You can set your watch to it.

          Expect Success!

          • A Different View says:

            This is a general response to those who’ve commented on my original post:

            1. I am not angry or an evil person.

            I don’t hate myself or black women and I don’t advocate them filling the mule role. (As if black woman with beautiful long hair aren’t subjugated to the mule role only because they cultivate and value that particular expression of feminine beauty in themselves.)

            I don’t have low self-esteem.

            I don’t have nefarious personal issues pursuing beauty that I’m infecting people with via blog post.

            How you pursue beauty as a black woman or otherwise, in my opinion, is a worthwhile topic. Being an interview about growing hair long and how one of the benefits is being more attractive, I mistakenly thought this was an appropriate thing to put forward. Maybe this topic is not appropriate for this blog post. I don’t know and that’s not my decision to make.

            2.Why demonize me, that is my person, for joining in the conversation with my point of view?

            I was very open about the fact that, like many of my fellow blog readers, I hadn’t read the book yet and that my expressing my reservation was in response solely to the interview and the comments I had read. Full disclosure in the original post, so I’m not underhanded.

            I did NOT put anyone down or tell them that they shouldn’t pursue long hair or if they did do that, that they are a horrible person with no self-esteem who will go to hell (like has been said to me in responses). Why, because they aren’t. umm wtf (that’s an expression of confusion at the vitriol being thrown my way when people COULD CHOOSE to express their completely legitimate point without acting like I’m the antichrist).

            As for Locks of Love…I ended my post by saying once you’ve cut your hair GROW IT AGAIN JUST AS LONG. So my point is not that you should cut your long hair because it is bad, it isn’t, but the opposite, that long hair can ALSO/IN ADDITION bring PRIDE, BEAUTY and JOY to other people that CAN’T CHOOSE to grow their hair because of sickness. That is a reaffirmation of the importance hair, in particular long hair, plays in our notions of beauty. And, it is also a reaffirmation of how important being beautiful is to people, that even in the face of death it is a worthwhile pursuit-by encouraging donation I also affirm this belief. As such, there is a COMPLETE misreading of my suggestion in some of the responses. (In the end though, the charity donation thing is an idea…no more, no less. If you don’t want do it, don’t. I mean what more can I say. It’s not a personal attack.)

            More about me not being the enemy infiltrating this blog with evil ideas (why, cause if you can’t tell by now, I’m offended, and I damn well have to make my case)….I began my post by congratulating the author on publishing her book. Why? Not because I have some underhanded evil plan to seem nice, but because I genuinely feel that way. A guide to having healthy hair and long hair is something many black women are looking for so, I’m glad it’s out there now. (And shoot, writing a book and publishing it is hard so the congratulations have been earned to the extent that I’m concerned.) My point is, I’m not the enemy because I support and encourage beauty and the self esteem that comes with it, but that doesn’t mean I never question it. I hope it doesn’t mean you don’t either.

            3. I do think black women are beautiful. (period) I do think black women should pursue beauty. (period) no qualifications. No qualifications does NOT mean NO conversation.

            I happen to find the topic of our (American in general, and including AA) culture’s correlation between long hair and femininity to be an interesting topic worth talking about also. (Especially as compared to other cultures where men also commonly sport long hair like in Asia…but I digress.) If you don’t want comments to go in that direction or this isn’t the post to talk about it, then sorry for the digression, but not sorry for my opinion.

            4. “new found attractiveness” = sarcasm. But I guess that doesn’t translate via text. Does not compute? well, ok…there are limits to this form of communication.

            5.I’ve been reading this blog for just a short while. I really enjoyed this interview and your last post, Khadija. I even recommended it to people. I enjoyed the comments and thought that this was someplace I could see myself joining in with people who want to think about and talk about similar things I do. But now…I don’t know. What am I suppose to think?

            All I’ve received is hate, not dialogue, despite that my intention is to join the conversation, not mess up this board or attack readers or this book’s message. I say this not to try to put anyone on the defensive in an underhand sort of way, but to express my sincerest disappointment at the undeserved vitriol. I mean, a girl’s gotta defend herself.

            6. For the record I don’t hate. Certainly not you Khadija (I don’t know you), not black women with long hair, or black women with short hair trying to grow long hair, and nobody commenting despite the fact that you may have a different perspective that I strongly disagree with.

            7. I hope this post goes up so I have a chance to defend myself. If you disagree with me fine. If you think my opinions are wrong or even detrimental, fine.

            My main point in this long rambling response is:
            State your case, but don’t recklessly attack my person.

            That sh*t is whack…I mean really, you. don’t. know. me. (again confusion and disappointment on my part, not on your point of view, but on the hate)…Why the nuclear bomb when all you need is a grenade…should I insinuate that it’s some defect on your part as a person. No, and for the record I don’t insinuate it it! Come on ladies!

            And last- I get the message beyond the hate. YOU DON’T AGREE WITH ME.

          • A Different View,

            You got the reaction that you invited with your “whack” (to use your expression) comment. Normal people don’t take kindly to somebody trying to slip them some poison. In this case, poison statements that sought to:

            (1) negate the legitimacy of BW pursuing beauty in general and long hair in particular;

            (2) insert your issues and insecurities into the conversation (among other issues, that bit about “straight, silky hair” that NOBODY was talking about except you);

            (3) heap yet another fake, contrived charity obligation on AA women; and finally

            (4) fundamentally arguing that BW have some sort of fake, contrived ethical obligation to offset and neutralize (you used the word “balance”) their beauty by cutting off their hair to give it somebody else. Do you have a prescription for some psychotropic meds (aka “chemical straightjacket”) that needs to be filled?

            A mission just for you—if you sincerely believe that what you said here wasn’t poison:

            Gather up all that madness you spoke here…

            …every last little bit…

            …and take it to some nonblack women’s blogs.

            And tell them that their beauty needs to be balanced and offset with activities like chopping off their hair to give it to somebody else.

            Madam, whatever else you do, you need to get up, get out, and STAY OUT of here with that anti-BW’s beauty mess.

            Goodbye, and Good Luck With Trying to Peddle That Poison to Some Nonblack Women.

      • Joyousnerd says:


        Thank you so much for responding to this comment in the fashion that you did. First of all, black women are under no obligation to shear off their locks and give them away. That’s crazy. Is the above commenter haunting white women’s blogs with the same mandate? I doubt it.

        Secondly, the comment starts off by implying that my methods don’t work, but then jumps to why we should be shorn like sheep (for the beauty of OTHER women!!!! ask cui bono here ladies!!!) because we can then grow it out long right again!! Even after s/he alleges that our hair can’t get to extreme length anyway! Come on now.

        Yes, the trolls, haters and crabs are working overtime to take my business out, ladies. I am personally surprised by the people who are bending themselves into a pretzel in order to convince other BW to NOT buy my book! Saddest of all, some of these same women have gotten FREE hair advice from me in the past. SMDH.

        I am in debt to Khadija for screening these crabs out of this conversation. I know they must have been legion.

        All of you ladies who have read the book, I’d ask you to please tell another black woman about it, or direct her to my website. We want the stock of all black women to rise, so let’s share the information.

        • A Different View says:

          Specifically to Joyousnerd:

          I sincerely congratulate you on your book again. In choosing to express my personal reservations, I meant no offense to you personally or to your efforts and accomplishment researching and publishing this book. I hope you can accept my sentiments despite what differences in opinion I hold.

          [Khadija speaking: Without further editorial comment from me, here’s a blast from the past: Smiling Faces Sometimes by The Undisputed Truth (I like this version better than the one by the Temptations–this version is the one that my parents like to play–LOL!):

          Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend
          Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within
          Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
          They don’t tell the truth uh
          Smiling faces, smiling faces
          Tell lies and I got proof
          The truth is in the eyes
          Cause the eyes don’t lie, amen

          Remember a smile is just
          A frown turned upside down
          My friend let me tell you
          Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
          They don’t tell the truth, uh
          Smiling faces, smiling faces
          Tell lies and I got proof

          Beware, beware of the handshake
          That hides the snake
          I’m telling you beware
          Beware of the pat on the back
          It just might hold you back
          Jealousy (jealousy)
          Misery (misery)
          Envy I tell you, you can’t see behind smiling faces
          Smiling faces sometimes they don’t tell the truth

          Smiling faces, smiling faces
          Tell lies and I got proof
          Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
          They don’t tell the truth
          Smiling faces, smiling faces
          Tell lies and I got proof
          (Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)
          (Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes)

          I’m telling you beware, beware of the handshake
          That hides the snake
          Listen to me now, beware
          Beware of that pat on the back
          It just might hold you back
          Smiling faces, smiling faces sometimes
          They don’t tell the truth
          Smiling faces, smiling faces
          Tell lies and I got proof
          Your enemy won’t do you no harm
          Cause you’ll know where he’s coming from
          Don’t let the handshake and the smile fool ya
          Take my advice I’m only try’ to school ya

          {imitating what I’ve heard of early 1970s speak from old movies} Can you dig it? {smile}]

          • Zoopath says:

            A mission just for you—if you sincerely believe that what you said here wasn’t poison:

            Gather up all that madness you spoke here…

            …every last little bit…

            …and take it to some nonblack women’s blogs.

            *dead*, ROFLMAO! I love that song, too. That exchange is going to have me SMH and chuckling all day.

            [Khadija speaking: Guurl…I try…I really do try…to stay diplomatic with people; and to not let myself go off. But some stuff is just so crazy, toxic, and offensive that I refuse to play nice when I hear it. That mess was an example of mess that’s just too far out to be entertained with any reaction other than scorn. Hmmph.]

          • MsMellody says:

            I can totally Dig it!!! That was the best well written comeback to this idiot’s take on this our issue of emphasizing/energizing and owning OUR own beauty– for BEAUTY sake alone!!
            Thank you Khadija

          • MsMellody,

            You’re welcome!

            {still shaking my head}

            Expect Success!

    • Zoopath says:

      Doth mine ears decieve me, or was that a call to muledome? You can miss me entirely with that. That was pure crazytalk.

      • Zoopath,

        Yes, indeed. That madness was a clarion call to muledom.

        Ladies take note: The mules and other types of saboteurs don’t mind “Woe is us” or “Ain’t it awful” types of conversations. They aren’t threatened by that because they know that the time spent bellyaching is time that’s NOT being spent on moving foward.

        But when AA women start talking about actionable information that, if followed, leads to a significant improvement in their quality of life, then the nuts come out of the woodwork to try to throw a monkey wrench into the conversation. Y’all just haven’t seen all the nuts that have come out of the woodwork during this conversation, because I’ve deleted their comments.

        The nuts work FAST to try to sabotage AA women’s efforts at lifestyle optimization. It took less than 24 hours after the post was published for them to start trying to add a cup of poison to the conversation.

        That’s another lesson for everyone: The nuts are “on it,” and they will take action with a quickness to try to undermine your success. Are YOU equally quick to take action in support of living your best life? {smile}

        While I’m thinking about it: Let this also be a lesson for the Nay-Saying individuals in the audience. You know, those of y’all who feel that anything and everything that have been discussed at this blog are “impossible,” and “not feasible,” and so on.

        Lady G/Joyous Nerd took action on some of the information that’s been offered here, and now she’s developed another income stream for herself. Good for her!

        For those who are Nay-Saying more out of fear than hateration: I would strongly urge you to work through your fear and take advantage of various resources while they’re still available. The various legitimate, authentic BWE voices who have been giving you priceless, actionable information are not going to keep doing so forever. So, it would be in your better interests to get on the good foot while the real BWE folks are still available to give you the sort of information and feedback that is NOT available anywhere else.

        Expect Success!

        • KimP says:

          I swear there is something about a BW on the move that just shakes some people to the core.

          I was talking about this with my mom, who I’ve been helping in her business venture (this year makes here 3rd year, so she’s past the new business hurdle! Yay!) and you wouldn’t believe the calls to muledom she receives, even from our own family!

          Thanks for exposing this nonsense and setting this silly person straight! Oh, and I forgot to thank you for another awesome interview!

          • Robynne says:

            I forgot my manners too. Thanks Khadijah for this indepth interview, which helped to allay any concerns that I had.

        • Joyousnerd says:

          Yes, thank you! It was not easy for me to launch this business. I have three children, the youngest of whom is only 11 months old and is still breastfeeding! I am taking a full courseload at college and will graduate this semester. I have other personal obligations too.

          If I could do this, all of you ladies can do something for yourselves too! Was it easy? No, frankly it was not. But I decided that I was going to do it, and I got it done. I had help from a few priceless individuals, such as Khadija, who mentored me and encouraged me. I am eternally grateful for that! Also one of the commenters anonymously pulled my coat and helped me tremendously with that (thank you deeply, whoever you are!)

          I have learned a lot from this experience and I will be taking on more challenges as well. You ladies absolutely CAN do this. If you are stuck about how to start, read The 4 Hour Workweek. That book will change your life.

          There are forces working overtime trying to take us out, so we need to be on the ball about proactively creating good things not only for ourselves, but also to help other BW too (and not by shaving our heads for charity smdh).

          Nobody can save your life for you. Nobody can create the life you want except YOU. You can do it, really, you can!

          • SweetIslandGirl says:


            that was so inspiring me! I am touched Joyousnerd. I have been contemplating alternative income streams for the past 3 months and have recently taken a step of faith in that direction. Its scary and I wondered if I was doing the right thing but after reading your testimony I know I am.

            I will buy the book you mentioned. Thank you and again Congrats!!

          • YMB says:


            I am doubly impressed by your dedication, organizational skills, and drive after learning all of that! Congratulations on your pending graduation!

            Also, belated thanks to Khadija for the engaging interview.

        • Kim P and Robynne,

          You’re welcome!

          Expect Success!

  32. Lisa99 says:

    Congratulations LadyGodiva/Joyousnerd! You are an inspiration… I’ve been following you for a while. 🙂

    YMB, Khadija, etc., I think you all hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that regardless of one’s hair texture, a black woman should know how to take care of it, both inside and out. Hair should not restrict us from traveling, working out, dating, enjoying nighttime activities (smile) and just being women.

    I remember how much of an issue it was for me back in my high school and college days in terms of hoping that I found a good hairstylist on campus, or how I needed to find a braider before I went on a trip lasting more than two weeks, because otherwise, I’d have no idea what to do with my hair. Participating in team sports at school seemed like a major emotional hassle as well because I didn’t know what to do with my hair, other than braiding it.

    That was the benefit of being natural for me… freedom to live my life like every other woman did and not be “othered” by being a slave to my hairstyle/texture. And if I do choose to relax or straighten again, I know that I don’t have to get a touchup every six weeks and that I still can do my own hair and not have to be dependent on someone else to keep my hair looking decent or creating some miracle product or technique to help it grow!

    • Lisa99,

      You said, “YMB, Khadija, etc., I think you all hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that regardless of one’s hair texture, a black woman should know how to take care of it, both inside and out. Hair should not restrict us from traveling, working out, dating, enjoying nighttime activities (smile) and just being women.”

      Indeed. I like having other people do my hair. I like receiving personal services. But I don’t like to be in a position in which I need somebody else to do a particular thing with my hair. One of the main criteria I’m using as I figure out which natural style I’ll ultimately choose is whether it’s something I can easily learn to do for myself. At the moment, I’m reading up on twist-outs.

      Expect Success!

    • joyousnerd says:

      Yes, the freedom of being natural is really refreshing. No fear of my hair reverting, no chemical search… I love this freedom.

  33. Alee says:

    Khadija, great interview. This is interesting to me, because I love hair too. It can drastically change a person’s appearance, for good or worse.

    Lady Godiva/Joyous Nerd said:

    “My hair type is 4a. This is very, very common among the black American population and is not appreciably looser or curlier than most black women in our country have.”

    I have 4a hair as well. And yes, it is very “black”. A hairdresser told me, “Girl, you got that black hair”. I feel very complimented. 🙂

    Like I said, my hair is 4a. It is thick. And when I say thick, I mean thick. I came from the womb with a thick head of hair. You can even see in the baby picture on my blog that at 2 years old I had more hair than many grown women. I had waist-length hair for most of my life. Lots of (ignorant) people would attempt to pull my hair, search it, or ask “Is that all yours?” because of their erroneous belief that unmixed black women can’t grow long hair.

    But my strands are fine and unless they are treated well, they can easily break. Relaxers are a no-no. The first time I put in a relaxer was when my hair began to break. I quickly stopped, but I still like straight styles, so I press. I would recommend that for any woman with my hair type: 4a, thick, fine strands. I would also recommend olive oil and shea butter — my hair thrives with these.

    Actually, I would recommend no relaxers for all black women. Your hair will be much thicker and healthier as a result. Sodium hydroxide and similar compounds have to literally break your hair to get it straight. I’m a biologist and work with chemicals often, and sodium hydroxide is a killer! One time I spilled some on my jeans and it ate right through the fiber in a matter of minutes. Just imagine what it is doing to your hair.

    If you must relax, do it as few times a year as possible. Stretch the time in between with braid-outs, twist-outs, etc. Definitely, the less you do to your hair (that includes using products, combing, and otherwise manipulating), the better off it will be.

    And of course, congrats to Lady Godiva/Joyous Nerd on your book and hair journey! 🙂

    • Alee,

      Thank you for your kind words about the interview; I truly appreciate it! The book interviews have been a lot of fun. {smile}

      Expect Success!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Thank you very much for your support!

      Yes, my hair type is extremely common among black people. It is typically black hair! No hair stylist has ever asked me if I were mixed, or commented that my hair was of a different grade than other clients. If I had not disclosed that I had a white parent, no one would have had any idea. Beyond that, I have helped many women with 4b or cnap hair, and they can use my methods quite well provided they follow the directions and don’t try to add to or change what I specify.

      I’m glad that your hair is healthy and thriving, that is a wonderful feeling that I want every black woman to experience 🙂

  34. Chloe says:

    Lady Godiva,

    Much success in your hair endeavors. And Kahadija, thank you for another great review.

  35. Okay so . . . I read the book. I AM LOVING IT! If any of you ladies are on the fence about purchasing it, I’ll just let you know this one thing: it’s worth the money. The book is written in a conversational style, and, honestly, after reading it, I felt like I’d had a heart-to-heart with my best girlfriend. I’m not even exaggerating.

    Also, the specifics mentioned in Lady Godiva’s regimen are solid and easy to follow. I’ll be starting the routine tomorrow and I hope to see dramatically longer hair by this time next year.

    Thanks Lady G/Joyous Nerd for this book. I’ve purchased a lot of different hair care books, but this one is a jewel. Great job!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Thank you so much for your comments! 🙂

      I’m proud of my book. I think it is a simple and clear set of advice that will give results without all the fuss and trouble that some black women go through.

      Also, as you’ve no doubt noticed, I recommend CHEAP products that will work wonders- this alone makes the book a savings for women who are spending an ungodly sum on products that aren’t beneficial or may even be harming their hair!

  36. Everybody Who Has Bought The Book,

    Please DON’T send in comments that disclose the specific hair care tips that Lady G/Joyous Nerd provides in her book. That’s extremely valuable information that she invested a lot of her own time, energy and money to learn and then prepare herself to teach to others. Let’s respect that.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

    Expect Success!

  37. Valerie says:

    Lady Godiva,thank you so much for your book, so much information and it is a real eyeopener. Your book confirms some of the methods, I have been using. I do add colour to my hair, but only in a few sections to add interest, plus, I do my colouring myself. God bless you.

    Khadija,thank you so much for your interview with Lady Godiva.

    • Valerie,

      You’re welcome—may you also be blessed!

      Expect Success!

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot to me! I’m glad you have found the book useful. I think there is something in there for every black woman to learn. Even for a woman who was doing pretty well with her reggie, there may be something in the book that will save her time, money on products, or effort in doing her hair.

  38. energize says:

    Joyousnerd, you were right. The book is an eye opener for me. I got stuck on Chapter 11. Gave me chills to read all my years of suspicion confirmed.

    Great job!

  39. SweetIslandGirl says:

    I cant wait till friday so I can purchase this book! I’m literally counting down the days and I am even more ex excited to start taking the supplemnts!

    Thanks JoyousNerd


    Great eye spotting that poster! My eyebrow was raised a centimeter or two a few times while reading that post.

  40. Belle Bijou says:

    To Joyousnerd:

    Lady Godiva, I just purchased your e-book a few days ago, and I must say that I really enjoy it! Thank you so much for all of the information that you have provided in your work. The information/directions were simple and direct, with examples, so there’s no room to “get confused” or make excuses.

    I myself have been 100% natural since last April, and I’m still trying to figure out what my hair responds best to. I’ve already read a large portion of the book, and I must say that I’m excited participate in the new regimen.

    Thanks again! You Khadija, and so many others have contributed so much to the BWE movement, and as a young woman who is just beginning to start out her life, I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate that. 🙂

    • Joyousnerd says:

      I am so glad the book is helpful to you! I think it’s a bargain, personally. For the price of a pizza that would add blubber to your behind, you can learn how to care for your hair and look (and feel) amazing. You can’t beat it, in my opinion 🙂

  41. SweetIslandGirl,

    You’re welcome! Guurl…these crabs-in-a-barrel are crazy for real.

    Belle Bijou,

    You’re welcome!

    Expect Success!

    • Sylvia says:

      Regarding hairstyles at the office (SweetIslandGirl), I have worked in the legal field for almost 27 years. In all but two of my employers, I have been the one and only, SOLE “minority”. The other two positions, there have been a whopping whole two of “us.” I have worked at huge, worldwide mega law firms and then with the sole practitioners. The post just reminded me of how early on in my career, it was pointed out to me by a managing partner that anything “ethnic” (hairstyle) would not be tolerated and would be highly discouraged at the workplace.

      • Sylvia,

        Oh yeah, the time period you mentioned regarding the beginning of your career (almost 30 years ago) correlates with my observations that I had mentioned earlier. Like I said, Whites stopped caring that much about Black folks’ hair sometime during the 1980s—which is about 30 years ago. I mean “caring” in the sense of there being negative repercussions for natural hairstyles.

        From what I’ve seen, the last vestiges of Black women being sanctioned career-wise for natural hairstyles started phasing out about 30 years ago. In the more recent era, I’ve seen and practiced before a number of BW judges who have (neat) natural hairstyles. And not all of these natural-hair-wearing BW judges were elected directly by the AA voters in their areas. A number of them are what are locally called “associate” judges who have been selected for the bench by the majority-White group of elected (“full circuit”) judges.

        Expect Success!

        • Sylvia says:

          “[A]lmost 30 years ago[….]” Good golly, now I’m REALLY feeling aged. 😀 We had one beautiful, gorgeous, all-together Black judge here in Riverside County who was handling our family law cases in one division. I LOVED her braids and neatly coifed hairdo – she exuded self pride and was the epitome of confidence. If I recall correctly, she came from an administrative/educational law background. (Our judges here are on a never-ending rotational cycle.) She had a wealth of experience and had the right amount of chutzpah to deal with our never-ending, high conflict, no-resolution family law cases.

          • Sylvia,

            I’ve always kept in mind something that a very wise adult told me when I was a teenager: “The only people who aren’t getting older each year are already dead.”

            Well—that puts it all in perspective! LOL!

            Expect Success!

  42. Shesthedifferencemaker says:

    Well Lady Godiva, you have yet another future customer!!

    I really enjoyed this interview Khadija. Thank you!! I read this post right before I was about to schedule an appointment to get my hair relaxed. Instead I went to the store to pick up some (inexpensive) products I would need for my hair that I used when I attempted to natural a year ago. It wasn’t that my natural hair wasn’t growing out, but it wasn’t growing fast enough for me (smh).

    These hair length discussion reminds me of the discussion we have on here about long-term health and wellness. If use the mindset I have with my weight loss to growing out my hair, I know I will achieve amazing results. Both do not involve quick fixes, but a life long commitment. I need to remember that this time around 🙂

    • Shesthedifferencemaker,

      You’re welcome!

      Expect Success!

    • joyousnerd says:

      Thanks for your support! I am glad to see you drawing the connection between caring for your health long term and caring for your hair long term. That is exactly what I hoped to encourage in the readers 🙂

  43. Karen R. says:

    Congratulations on the release of your book!! I just ordered it and look forward to having longer, stronger, healthier hair. You go, girl!!!

    As an aside, can you share what platform you used to create the e-book.

    Thank you Khadija for sharing and highlighting this issue because beauty is indeed a weapon.

  44. Joyousnerd says:

    Thanks ALL of you who have purchased my book and/or supplements!! Your support is important to me. If you enjoyed the book, please tell a friend.

  45. Muse says:

    LadyGodiva/Joyousnerd I’m so excited about your book. I’m purchasing it when I get home! I’ve been obsessed with hair and skin care all my life. I love reading books on hair, especially from Black women who have achieved success. My hair when straight is currently at my mid back (with long layers in the front) and grows about ½-¾ of an inch per month bUT I do have problems with breakage! I really want waist length hair but breakage is an issue! My paternal great-grandma actually had hip length kinky hair so she is proof that it is possible for black women to have super long hair. Needless to say I’m anxious to get my hands on your book. I wish you much success and thanks Khadija for passing the info!

  46. Muse says:

    There are so many haters when it comes to Black women and our beauty. The irony is that the same people attacking black women for stepping up our game are the same ones trying to get on our face and “wife” us up or be our best friends once our beauty goals are achieved. These sabotage methods are rooted in fear. The haters are afraid of being left behind because misery loves company. When a Black woman is confident and appeals to men in the global village, her options are endless and sadly her new status will eliminate many underachieving men from the running. The same men who criticize black women are the same ones trying to date her when they realize that other men see her value as a female. Notice how these crazy nuts want women who don’t want them? They don’t rant or complain about undesirable women. They don’t play captain save a hoe with Shaniqua and her six out of wedlock children. They complain about the hot girls who have their minds right. They claim that the fabulous black women have abandoned Black love when in fact she is just living her life to the fullest and isn’t into being a mule for anyone.

    The hater females attack because they are jealous and will lose a whining partner if her friend decides to stop complaining and implement a plan of action to change her physical, mental and spiritual life. A confident and beautiful woman who truly feels empowered in her life will not accept toxicity into her environment. I wouldn’t be surprised to see the circles of fellow Sojourner’s change as they achieve their goals. Kick the haters to the curve and don’t look back. Besides these types of parasitic Debbie Downers will try to steal your shine and possibly sabotage your efforts.

    • Karen says:

      First off, again I wish all the best to Joyousnerd and of course a “BIG CONGRATULATIONS!!!”.

      Muse, you said…“These sabotage methods are rooted in fear. The haters are afraid of being left behind because misery loves company. “

      Based on what I have observed, I do not think fear is what is movitating the sabotage methods, I think it has more to do with the “control of resources”. As long as BW believe they have no choices, they will stay in mode where they are a resource to everyone else but themselves.

      This aspect about hair and beauty is another facet of this pervasive need to keep BW down and under control.

      What you stated here “…A confident and beautiful woman who truly feels empowered in her life will not accept toxicity into her environment….” to me translates to no longer being under the control of others.

      It is in every Sojourner’s best interests to make use of the graciously offered information as there is no guarantee how long the credible BWE Bloggers will be around as they must also live the message and work towards their goals.

      • Muse says:

        Karen you don’t think there is fear in losing one’s mule? LOL

        These folks are about to lose their lifeline. They should be fearful.

        • Karen says:

          I do not think fear is the driving factor, I do agree that fear plays a role perhaps as a secondary effect.

          I do also do not think the majority of BW will relinquish their mule status, therefore the majority will maintain the status quo even though all indicators show it is accelerating the downward spiral.

          Unfortunately, most humans tends to stay with what they know, no matter how painful, versus making changes which could result in totally new experiences and an improvement in their lives.

          • joyousnerd says:

            Personally I think both of you are on the right track. Most people are not in tune with what they actually believe deep down anyway, so it can be hard to really assess their true motivations.

            However- we can always go by what people DO. So folks who ACT like they want to sign us up for Mule Duty get recognized and dealt with accordingly!

  47. Everybody,

    FYI, I won’t publish any more comments from the “A Different View” commenter. I also won’t publish any more comments that discuss the (in my opinion, twisted) views she expressed in her statements. Some statements are just too crazy to spend very much time on. And I don’t want the conversation to get derailed with dissecting that particular madness.

    Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

    Expect Success!

  48. Muse says:

    Joyous Nerd I got your E-book and…GURL….I’m impressed. Good job. I know hair and you really dropped some knowledge. I’m learning a few things myself. Thank you thank you thank you dear heart! The e-book was 20 bucks well spent. Bless you.

  49. SS says:

    Hi Joyous Nerd,
    I just purchased your book and I can’t wait to read it. Congrats on the book and everything.

    • joyousnerd says:

      Muse- Thank you so much! I tried to put everything I know about hair into my book, and I did my best to give great value to my readers.

      SS- Thank you for your purchase! I am very happy and optimistic about this venture, and the support of you ladies means so very much to me!!!

      Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I have to reiterate that there are many people working their fingers to the bone to destroy my business already! So if you enjoy my book, please tell a friend. Thanks again for all of your support!!!!

      • JoyousNerd/Lady G,

        That’s not being a Debbie Downer. I see all of this as another opportunity for audience members to affirm their commitment to advancing their OWN interests. That is, if they’re serious about that.


        In general, 99.99% of AA women need to stop being so lackadaisical about giving reciprocity to the other Black people who do things that help enhance your life!

        The anti-BW trolls, mules, Sista Soldiers, crabs-in-a-barrel, and all-around haters are QUICK to act on their hateration. Meanwhile, when AA women are the beneficiaries of legitimate, life-enhancing information, then 99.99% of them are very, VERY slow to support the handful of people who take action in support of them.

        This self-defeating behavior pattern is why folks who might want to be helpful learn to walk away from doing anything to help BW. And so the field is left open for AA women to be exploited by the people they DO quickly respond to and support—BW-hating pimps like Steve Harvey.

        JoyousNerd/Lady G is one of your fellow readers and frequent commenters. If you (and y’all know who you are—your consciences are mumbling to you right now) refuse to do something as simple and lightweight as mentioning JN’s/Lady G’s very reasonably priced book to some friends and relatives, then you’re helping to prove me right. You’re proving me right as I continue to advise aspiring AA entrepreneurs to NOT engage in any type of business that addresses specifically AAs’ concerns. And to leave the AA/Black consumer alone, while using their talents to service mainstream, NON-AA/Black consumers.

        You see, if JN/Lady G had asked me before she created her Black hair care program, then I would have suggested that she NOT do it. And that she leave the AA/Black consumer ALONE. No matter how helpful her program is for those BW who have the sense to buy it and follow the directions she gives. Because it’s a hassle dealing with the Black/AA crabs-in-a-barrel. And she’s experiencing those crab stings right now. All because she created and is offering a product that will help BW have healthy, long hair. Hmmph.

        So, any AA woman who seriously wants people to do things in support of abundant life for AA women and girls will respond with reciprocal support. It’s just that simple.

        Expect Success!

        • Joyousnerd says:

          Thank you very much Khadija. I knew there would be some nastiness from a few people but I had NO IDEA of the insane backlash I would face. One of these crabs had the unmitigated gall to publicly proclaim that I should EXPECT to be attacked on all sides because that is what happens whenever one opens a business? Huh?

          The crab stings are bad, ladies. BUT I really care about this. I remember when my hair was short and broken, how bad I felt. I want to help black women to get the same joy and pride that I do from my hair. So I really do hope that you ladies can mention to your friends and family that my book and supplements can help them.


        • JoyousNerd/Lady G,

          You’re welcome!

          Oh yeah, you’re seeing for yourself the “How much lower can they possibly go?”-depths of how deranged these crabs-in-a-barrel are. Each time I figure that surely they’ve hit rock bottom with their crab-behaviors, then the floor drops another few levels. That quote from the crab you mentioned is yet another example of that. So, basically that creature announced that it feels entitled to wantonly attack Black business people.

          No, being attacked from all sides is NOT what automatically happens when somebody opens a business. Nonblack and non-AA consumers don’t have that type of kneejerk destructive response. And if that particular crab learned how to tell the truth, it would admit that this is NOT what happens when NON-blacks open businesses among AA/Black consumers.

          Unfortunately, coming under relentless attack IS what happens when a Black person opens a visibly-Black-owned business among other AAs/Blacks.

          The crabs’ insanity is why most of them will perish in the wilderness of permanent underclass-type lifestyles. Because they are literally incapable of responding appropriately to anything productive that’s being done by another BW. Because all they want to do is “steal, kill and destroy” any worthy activity done by another Black person. That’s too bad for them. Life—abundant life—will go on for the rest of us who know how to screen people and give reciprocity.

          Expect Success!

  50. Shan says:

    I can so relate to this but my experience goes far beyond hair, but I’ll start with hair. Right now, I wear my hair natural. It’s thick and and voluminous. When I was much younger, (high school and college), I wore my hair straight and long. It was past bra length. Anytime, I wore my hair out, other black students would make it seem as if I was trying to impress someone. Most of the girls who did have long hair were mixed,so with me being non mixed and of a brown skin tone, I guess that made me “stand out”. So of course the typical questions followed: Are you mixed with Indian? Mexican? Chinese? and all that nonsense.

    Fastforward years later, now that I wear my hair natural, people don’t ask me what I’m mixed with but ask me where am I from? I’ve gotten everything from Egypt, Ethiopia, Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Jamaica, Brazil, the islands,India, even Europe. At that point, I realized that there are many people out there that have a vested image in keeping AA women in a box. And of course if you don’t fit into that box, then they try to make you out to be an exception instead of normalizing it.

    I want to get to the “hair flipping” that some ww love to do. One poster commented (and I’m paraphrasing) that when ww flip their hair it’s their way of exerting their beauty or superiority over bw. I will say this: many ww do that because they feel it’s the only thing they have over on bw because generally their hair is longer. I have been involved in the pageant, modeling industry for a short while and am now involved in the entertainment industry but I will go so far as to state this next statement as fact because I’ve seen it happen so many times, not only to me, but other AA women. WW only flip their hair at bw whose beauty or presence they feel threatened by.

    • Joyousnerd says:

      Yeah, other women flip their hair to show dominance all right. I can’t wait till hundreds of thousands of BW can flip and fling their real hair too 🙂