Finishing School Friday

Beauty tips. Fashion tips. Etiquette. Open forum.

*Audience Note* I’m mostly going to sit back and listen. Please feel free to talk among yourselves.

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60 Responses to “Finishing School Friday”

  1. Professher says:

    Tumeric supplements help your skin glow! Tumeric is a spice/ingredient used in copious amounts in India and those who eat Indian/South Asian foods. They often have as much and sometimes more melanin than we do and their skin is often quite smooth and alive.

    When you get in your car to drive, don’t get in by leading with the right leg then following with the left. Instead? Open the car door, face away from the seat, sit in the driver’s seat, keeping your knees together and feet on the ground outside the car. Once firmly in the seat? Swing your knees/legs up and into the car, keeping your knees together. MUCH more ladylike, this “approach!”

    LIGHTLY, sooo lightly touch people you’re speaking to. Not just men; women. If you focus on men alone? You’re being situational, versus transformational. Butterflies don’t merely flit and land on one gender; they grace ALL with their presence! (Have you ever been to a butterfly garden? If not, GO. I’m serious.)

    Keep understated, yet, shiny, pretty pens in your purse and car, just EVERYWHERE. You’d be surprised at the compliments and attention you get from everywhere and everyone.

    Take off one item of jewelry before you leave the house.

    Patterned, colored tights can be surprising attention-grabbers. I wore an pea green tight once with a navy knit skirt suit. Men who I work with every single day — men whose offices are on my floor, across and down the corridor from me! — gave compliments that floored me! They NEVER complimented me on anything physical or feminine before; however, the tights, I guess, took them over the edge. Suffice it to say? The women were also on an increased awareness and were extra flattering that day. I was floored. LOL!

    Shoes. You’d be surprised at how many happily married male colleagues have looked at my shoes and given compliments. One, an Italian whose married to a Black woman, asked very specifically about a low-heeled, two-toned pair I wore. I told him Cole Haan; he texted his wife and they spent a lovely evening (his report the next day!) looking at Cole Haan shoes (and he bought her two pair)! Another colleague (BM married to an Asian woman) complimented my boots and, months later, complimented my suede platform pumps in a way that made it clear to me that he was TAKEN by them. (As he’s a DBR, he had to make jokes to deal with his attraction, LOL!)

    Check out bridal shops for unusual and gorgeous everyday adornments, such as exquisite headbands or extra delicate earrings. For those of us who are partial to such things? Incorporating touches of these extraordinary pretties into our daily lives allows us to stand out and feel amazing.

    Thanks for calling Finishing School Friday into session, Khadija!!

    • Anne1 says:

      Wow, thanks for the great tips, especially on Turmeric. Just when I thought I knew everything about herbs, WHAM. I checked to see if NSP carries it and glad to see they do. It’s in an antioxidant blend called Super Oracthat’s pretty pricey but I’ll try it out if it grants me the smoothness in the skin I’m after.

    • Melissa Q says:

      You can also use ayurvedic powders on your hair: henna, neem, Brahmi, Amla, etc. (Never blk henna.) You can find them in Indian stores.

      I mix them with coconut milk to thicken. Other use tea, any citrus juices, or Apple cider vinegar, but I believe coco milk is better because it makes a thicker mix (…thicker is always better) and is acidic (need acidic for powder to release).

    • formavitae says:

      I had a Indian friend who told me that they put turmeric on the area above little girls’ lips to get rid of the facial hair.

      Also, I once again realized how lovely eye liner can make the eyes look. In Indian culture, even some of the men wear black eyeliner, and it looks really good. I was working with a Nigerian lady the other day (soon to turn 50, but still looking 36), and I noticed she was wearing black eyeliner that looked great. I thought she looked really beautiful, and I told her so. I like eyeliner. But, by the end of the day, it’s always so smudgey, and I just don’t like the way it looks. So, I sometimes substitute black mascara instead. Does anyone know of a good brand of eyeliner that doesn’t smudge?

      • Neecy says:

        I use Victoria’s Secret eyeliner and I have had zero probs with smudging like the others. Its $10 but worth it. I am an eyeliner junkie and many of the ones I bought at the drugstore do smudge.

    • Lis says:

      Great advice! Looove the tips about entering and exiting one’s vehicle. It’s the little dainty, ladylike habits we cultivate that will set us apart from ALL women, not just as AA women. Small gestures or “quirks”, oft overlooked by us, are also the most noticed! πŸ™‚

  2. Melissa Q. says:

    Have you guys ever heard about Contouring? It’s a good technique that you can use to define your nose and create tones in your skin. Also, I think folks should use a bit of using a brighter colors of lipstick and blush more often.
    Women with dark skin are afraid of using bright striking blush colors, and bright pink or red lipstick. It looks good on dark skin colors.
    You just have to make sure that the color is not:
    a) a pastel
    b) and it is warm or cool (to match your skintone)

    If you are confused, check the mac counter. They can tell you if you’re warm of cool.
    http://www.sokissandmakeup.com/mac-cosmetics-shade-guide/

    • ak says:

      You’re absolutely right Melissa Q.

    • formavitae says:

      I love Mac’s “Gingerly” blush. It’s peach in tone, but looks very warm and beautiful on my rich brown skin. These days, I don’t wear much makeup (though I LOVE it). But, I still like to wear a light dusting of loose powder (I have oily skin) and my Gingerly blush. It softens the face.

  3. marielle says:

    Useful websites for beauty tips:

    http://www.longhaircareforum.com – forum for black women growing long, healthy hair natural or relaxed.

    http://www.curlynikki.com – natural hair

    http://www.thisthatbeauty.com – makeup tips

    http://www. specktra.net – makeup tips

    My favorite makeup books for learning how to apply your makeup in a way that flatters your features

    Making Faces – Kevyn Aucoin
    Makeup Makeovers – Robert Jones
    5 Minute Face – Carmindy

    And all of Bobbi Brown’s makeup books are useful. The Bobbi Brown makeup counter is my favorite for natural, flattering makeup and her yellow toned foundations look great on black women.

  4. Vanessa F. says:

    -Invest in a esthetician who is well-versed in African-American skin types. Even if if you only go quarterly, its good to have skin treatment/facial. A trained professional can assist with determining your skin type (skin analysis) and providing a care regimen. I have very sensitive skin and visiting a professional helps get it back on track when it decides to go haywire.

  5. KM says:

    If you have an itchy scalp, make a brown sugar scrub with 3 tablespoons of brown sugar and 2 tablespoons of conditioner and/or olive oil. It’s cheap and quick.

    Since I’m not cash rich right now, to give myself a quick pedicure, I put cheap lotion on my feet and ankles and tie a plastic grocery back on. I leave it on for 2-4 hours and then soak my feet and finish the pedicure process. It leaves me feet nice and smooth without having to go to the salon.

  6. Dea says:

    I’m a longtime lurker but I really like the finishing school Friday segment. i don’t really have anything to contribute but I do have a question.

    I have a strange (well I think it’s strange) problem with my legs. No matter what, they’re spotty. Like the area around where each single hair grows is darker than my skin tone in general so whether I’ve shaved or used a depilatory my legs look spotted. I don’t know of anyone else with this problem but maybe you ladies know what to do about it. I’ve tried exfoliation but that doesn’t work. It’s a problem all over my legs but not really anywhere else on my body.

    • I have the same issue on my thighs, though not anywhere else. I have been using Shea Moisture’s Coconut & Hibiscus body wash and body lotion. The formula is for “brightening and toning” and it seems like it is evening the tone. I’ve been using it for a week and i like it so far. However, something like Ambi Fading Cream would probably work, too. I know some people who have used that on their face and it worked.

      • Lis says:

        Dea – If not already, perhaps you can change your soap to a moisturizing one like Dove. Also try soaking and a light exfoliation using bath gloves prior to shaving to soften the hair follicles.

        Ambi Fade Cream absolutely works! Having dealt with problematic and situational adult acne brought on by stress and poor diet, I find that ending my nightly facial cleansing routine with a “smear” of Ambi makes a noticeable difference. My skin is brighter and the issues with breakouts appear to also diminish, however I believe this can be attributed to the cleansing. πŸ™‚ I recommend using this product as per the directions and only at night as exposure to the sun will darken any scars. Good luck!

    • Melissa Q says:

      You could have open pores or follicles…but, are you sure this is a ‘minuscule problem’, one that doesn’t show up much?
      Or does it show up very bad? It is possible that your skin is naturally like that, I have that also and my skin is a chocolate brown color.

    • Miss S says:

      If it’s also bumpy you could have keratosis pilaris.
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keratosis_pilaris

      The best thing to use is Amlactin or LacHydrin. Both can be found on Amazon.

      Hope this helps!

  7. “Smiling with your eyes,” may seem like ANTM-photography-babble, but it is absolutely true.

    Practice covering your mouth and nose with your hand, as you look into a mirror. Try to convey happiness or “a friendly warmth” with just your eyes.

    If you cannot –it’s time to practice. It’s also time to get more in touch with your body language. If this “exercise” is difficult, you may find you’re sending menacing messages with your “resting face” or casual body language subconsciously.

    This is why I find feminity comes from the inside out –if all is whole and well inside you, you can more easily be in tune with your feminine self. Once you are, it naturally flows from the inside out.

    The result?

    You radiate!

    In the reverse, internal discord will also flow from the inside out, in the most unflattering ways (even just a bit).

    Once you master “smiling-eyes”, put it into daily use until it becomes second nature.

    It’s much easier to flash a gentle “eye-smile” in passing without seeming like a coquette (unless that is your goal, I suppose!).

    You will come across as warm, graceful, personable, and polite –without having to grin/smile/use your entire body to display “warmth” or “friendliness”.

    Women, men, and children alike respond to this gesture positively.

    It also allows you to begin retraining your “physical vocabulary” from one of “I’m NOT the one,” to “Hello, my dear.”

    • Lis says:

      i liiike.. πŸ˜‰ off to practice!

    • formavitae says:

      I agree with you. I’m often in intense thought, due to obligations, and I’ve forgotten about being aware of my countenance. I’ve always been very friendly, kind, and open, so this was never hard for me. But, since I’ve been in “serious mode” (and for such an extended period of time), I got out of touch with those things. However, I just had a patient tell me that I’m “very pleasant” and “cute”, so I haven’t TOTALLY lost my charm. LOL. Thanks for the reminder.

  8. MsMellody says:

    Groupon is looking to go IPO soon!! Keep your ears and eyes open as to where to get your hands on publicly offered shares of this company!!!

  9. Shermayne says:

    Nice Entry Professher!!!

    Khadija! I love Finishing School Fridays and the new Beauty as a Weapon entries!!!

    One of the greatest gifts the MAC counter artists ever gave me was to show me step by step how to make my eyes look amazing in 5 minutes. I thought I would have to go w/o the usual stuff to make it work, but with tips it was surprisingly easy and I get compliments all the time from men and women on my eyes. I must say though, that time a Pret A Manger during lunch when the manager (cute white guy!) said to me, “I hope you don’t mine me saying, but I just luuuuuuvvvvvv your lip color!” I just had to smile, giggle, say thank you, and act all shy and surprised! Tee hee hee…

    About shoes! Oh yes, shoes make an outfit sometimes! When I wear heels walking down the street or in office buildings, sometimes I swear I catch men looking at my feet!!!! Not the makeup, dress, or hair I spend an eternity on, but the shoes!!! LOL

  10. Coffy says:

    Thread your own facial hair. Although I’m not bold enough to shape my eyebrows this way its an easy way to clean up the upper lip and side burn areas.

    Try an epilator. Although it takes some getting used to, it’s easier than waxing and has the same benefits. Hair stays away longer, grows in finer and you don’t get discoloration from razer burn. I especially like to use it under my arms. When you use it for the first time make sure the hair is trimmed or recently shaven, even if you dont think your removing any hair it’ll help you get use to it.

    Dress like a french woman. I’ve just recently learned this and am so glad I did. Instead of wasting money on fashionable pieces that will be out of style by the years end, invest in stylish clothing that is simple and timeless. Then instead of replacing your wardrobe each season buy accessories such as scarves, jewelry and hats to dress up your piecies and make them your own.

    Thanks Kadija, I’ve learned so much from your blog!

  11. Sali says:

    Thanks for the tips on those shoes, Professher, they’re gorgeous. I also love the idea about the pretty pens. Little things that remind you and others of your femininity are always a wise idea.

    I wanted to mention that I’ve been very pleased with Carole Maggio’s Facercise. I recommended it to a friend, and others noticed a difference even before she did.

    I also wanted to second the recommendation for a Clarisonic. I got the professional grade with a body brush attachment from Ebay. It’s excellent.

  12. Natalie says:

    Would anyone of you ladies know of any remedy/treatment to get rid of faint chin hair sometimes I’m tired of using a tweezer…

  13. Miss S says:

    I have a nightly skin care ritual. I give myself an avocado face mask every night and moisturize with jojoba oil.

    I’ve struggled with hormonal acne and the hyper pigmentation from it for a long time. I use avocado, jojoba oil, and Philosophy Retinol Cream on my skin, and it looks amazing now. I also use something called Am-lactin, which has done wonders for my skin- face and body. It’s safe enough for sensitive skin too.

    I use shea butter, jojoba oil, and olive oil as a skin moisturizer, and make my own scrubs using sea salt or sugar, honey, and my favorite oils. I also a Vitamin E stick as an under eye moisturizer. I got mine for 97Β’ at Wal-mart.

    Also, don’t forget to use sunscreen. If you have sensitive skin, you may need to use a physical one that uses titanium dioxide. It does turn your skin whitish at first, but it protects your skin. If you’re trying to get a more even skin tone, or fade hyper pigmentation, you absolutely need it. If not, the sun will make the dark spots darker.

  14. SP says:

    This is my first time posting, and I’d just like to say, I love your blog Kadija. I’m from the UK so I pick and choose which parts are relevant to me, and regardless, I love hearing about what black women are up to in the US of A. πŸ™‚

    First I would say go to the dentist. Teeth matter. I go once every three monts for a scale and polish – it’s only Β£16.50 in the UK.
    Skin should be flawless at all times – a GP can prescribe benzoy peroxide – it should only be used for two weeks maximum as it does contain bleach, it peels your skin, very mildly, not in the ‘I want to be light skin/white’ kind of way. It gets rid of hyperpigmentagtion when taken with an oral anti-biotic aswell. This will give you flawless skin, afterwards, you just have to maintain it.

    Staying slim is also paramount, I am a size 8 (US 4) and desperately trying to get down to a size 6(2) or even a 4(0).

    Don’t wear bright coloured shoes or hats – they just look ghetto. Hair, whether natural, relaxed, weave, extensions (who cares), should be well groomed, and look clean and age-appropriate.

    Hands should be well cared for, or else how will you show off your wedding ring. This means wearing gloves when washing up, using cleaning products etc.

    There is a certain tone of voice that tastes/smells/feels like honey. I have that tone. People have never heard me shout or raise my voice, and no-one ever raises their voice around me… lest they scare me… πŸ˜‰

    In terms of fashion, take a risk. Wear something different. I have started wearing maxi-dresses, designed by my cousin in Nigeria. It means that you are unlikely to meet anyone else who has the same dress on as you, it means that you look fabulous.

    Nails should be french manicured, painted a tasteful colour or left plain. Fake nails should only be worn in the ghetto.
    Bright coloured weaves, likewise. Rihanna’s hair colour/style is not appropriate for a law firm interview (smh at the girl I saw in the interview room….)

    Also, socialise. It’s graceful to socialise. If you don’t socialise you are participating in self-destruction.

    Also, pray, think beautiful thoughts, honestly it works. And forgive. Do not be angry at anyone, do not let anger consume you or it will detract from your beauty.

    And most importantly, get enough sleep. As much as you can each night. And when you wake up, do not open your eyes straigt away. Have a lie in. Do not physically open your eyes until 15 minutes after you have woken up. That way you will never have fine lines or bags under your eyes. Slee before 9pm. I am 20 and people say I look 17. My mother is 50 and she looks in her late 40s, as she is a schoolteacher, she went to bed at 9pm at the same time as my brother and I, and so she looks beautiful because of this.

    Also, be kind to everyone you meet, and walk like a Queen.

    Ok, I’m rambling, but, hey from the UK.

    Oh and natural products are best, shea butter, jojoba oil and coconut oil are all I put on my face, aside from African Black soap (dudu osun). It gives you a radiance that makes strangers smile at you.

    Sleep is most important though

    • Miss S says:

      Just wanted to add:

      If you have sensitive skin, please be cautious about using benzoyl peroxide. If you do use it, use sunblock when going outside. It’s strong, and it makes your skin very sensitive to the sun.

      If any of you ladies have insurance, and have skin problems, go to a dermatologist. They can prescribe something based on your skin.

    • *Temporarily entering the conversation*

      SP,

      {waving across the pond}

      Welcome aboard! I’m happy you de-lurked. πŸ™‚

      Nevertheless, I must emphasize that I totally disagree with what you said about dress sizes. You said, “Staying slim is also paramount, I am a size 8 (US 4) and desperately trying to get down to a size 6(2) or even a 4(0).”

      I TOTALLY disagree with how you’ve framed the issue of weight as revolving around a single measure—dress size. And I feel obligated to emphasize my disagreement with your statement because the Fat Acceptance Jihadis will use your statement to try to discredit what I’ve been saying about overweight and obesity.

      So, I want to make it perfectly clear that there’s NO connection or agreement whatsoever between what you’re saying here and what I’ve been saying all along. You’ve reduced the issue down to dress size. That’s your right; I simply happen to disagree. Meanwhile, I’ve been talking about a constellation of interlocking issues about overweight and obesity:

      (1) obesity-related ailments such as diabetes and high blood pressure; and

      (2) unfavorable body mass indexes (including the phenomenon of people being underweight and overly fat at the same time); and

      (3) curves versus fat rolls and other aesthetics.

      As I explained at length during the Straight Talk About Feminine Aesthetics: Dress Size β‰  Curves; Fat Rolls β‰  Curves post, I believe that matters of weight/overweight CAN’T be reduced to a single measure such as dress size. [Although, as an aside, I will note that there ARE certain dress size numbers that simply can’t be healthy or attractive because a person would have to be morbidly obese to properly fit into such clothes.]

      I’m not going to rehash and repeat all of that. I clearly laid out my position—and the nuances I believe are involved in all of this—during that particular earlier post.

      Expect Success!

      {going back into radio silence}

    • Lis says:

      I wholeheartedly agree that having set sleeping patterns and an ample amount of sleep allows for a more beautiful and relaxed appearance. Even as I type this at 0219am. πŸ™‚

      http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/12/15/study-beauty-sleep-really-does-make-attractive/

      As is having a nightly facial cleansing ritual! Which IMO gives the skins a fresh and rosy glow, no matter the complexion.

    • traci says:

      I disagree that fake nails look “ghetto”. I don’t think that acrylic or gel nails are the problem. (My mother wears them and looks very professional). I think the problem is the length and the designs. Natural length nails are fine; 3 inch nails are not.

  15. ak says:

    I have been out of the commenting loop since Christmas but I hope you had a great time during the Holidays and Happy Belated New Year! LOL I regret missing out on a bunch of your closed conversations already πŸ™ LOL

    For those who are makeup shy (I’m not, I love it!), who don’t really like makeup, or who can’t be bothered with all of the steps of putting it on should look at tinted moisturizers. Becca, Bobbi Brown, and Laura Mercier make decent ones that definitely match black women, and Nars is supposed to be coming out with some tinted moisturizers some time this year also, and they already make foundations in our skin tones.

    If you already have liquid foundation though yes, you can mix some with a bit of moisturizer and use that. I don’t have any liquid foundation, so I bout the tinted moisturizer.

    • *Temporarily entering the conversation*

      AK,

      I’ve been sending all of the Sojourner’s Passport Confidential posts to the same email address that you’ve been using to post comments here. I took another look at the email list for the confidential posts to make sure I haven’t misspelled your email address, and it’s spelled the same way. I don’t know why you haven’t been receiving the private posts.

      Expect Success!

      {going back into radio silence}

  16. Anne1 says:

    I’m such a product junkie and with so many new things to try, I’m in heaven.

    I love vintage, and very dainty earrings but they are so hard to find. I love your idea to check bridal shops so thank you Professher (forgot to do so earlier). I did a quick search and found 1928.com with a few dainty & beautiful earrings on sale.

    Sali, I’ve been on the fence about Facercise but I may go for it now.

    Miss S, same thing here with the hormonal acne problem. It’s a constant battle and I’d hope it would stop past age 30 but no such luck. My favorite AHA product is MD Formulations Sensitive Facial Cleanser and the Face & Body Scrub. It’s worked well for years now so I don’t dare switch to another AHA product.

    Haven’t tried avocado (prefer to eat them, LOL) but I plan to use on my face as well as the Jojoba oil. Do you combine these or do you use them separately? Also, how long before you noticed any improvement?

    I’d like to know how long did it take for you start seeing any improvement?

    • Miss S says:

      When I started using the retinol cream, I noticed that I broke out alot less during my next menstrual cycle. When I started using the Amlactin cream (which is an alpha-hydroxy treatment) it took less than a week for me to notice how much smoother and more even my skin was.

      Although I use a make-up wash, I put jojoba oil on a cotton round to remove the rest of the make-up. It gets off everything. I then rub avocado on my face (sometimes I eat it too), let it dry, and rinse off. That’s when I use my night cream.

      I also use jojoba oil to moisturize in the morning.

      My doctor prescribed me Tetracycline. It’s an antibiotic and it does wonders for your skin. You can’t take it too long, or it will cause yeast infections- I learned the hard way πŸ™ But it does help alot.

  17. Anne1 says:

    Miss S…”When I started using the Amlactin cream (which is an alpha-hydroxy treatment) it took less than a week for me to notice how much smoother and more even my skin was.”

    Wow, now that’s what I’m talking about!

    My sensitive skin doesn’t tolerate benzoyl peroxide or Tracyclycline at all. I do a lot better with AHAs but nothing with the wow effect yet; leaving me still in search for the ONE. I’m excited to try Amlactin as it contains lactic acid (an angle I haven’t tried yet). Maybe this will be the one. We’ll see.

    Thanks Miss S, and everyone really for all of the great tips here. I learn something new every session so keep ’em coming(smile).

  18. Musicalle says:

    If you regularly buy vitamins, supplements and natural beauty care products at health food stores I’d suggest checking out Vitacost.com They have a huge selection of brands and products at a very nice discount over what you’d pay at a brick and mortor store like Whole Foods. The shipping is a flat rate of $4.99 no matter how much you buy. I usually place a big order a few times a year and get a lot more for my money. Their house brand NSI is also generally high quality, and even lower in price-worth a try to see if it works for you.
    http://www.vitacost.com/

  19. formavitae says:

    At this time I’m focusing on eating healthy and working out on a daily basis. However, I once bought this skin care system from my dermatologist, Obagi Nu Derm (www.obagi.com), and it worked GREAT! My skin was glowing and even-toned. It’s kind of pricey, so I’m planning to resume usage after I graduate this summer and get my license and a job. IMO, nothing beats a good dermatologist.

    • YMB says:

      I’ve never tried Obagi but I just received an email yesterday alerting me that Spalook.com is offering it for 25% off now through Monday. You can also save an additional $20.11 off purchases over $100 by using the code “20SMART”.

      • formavitae says:

        Thanks for the info. Obagi works GREAT. In the beginning, your skin tone may seem a little discolored as it evens it out (esp. if you use Tretinoin, a lightening cream), but after a few weeks, your skin will become even-toned and glowing, looking much younger and fresh. I’m glad my dermatologist told me about it.

  20. pat says:

    Hi Everyone! Using a bodyshaper is a great thing for the body when you are wearing a dress Spanks, Body Magic, etc. You dont want to show all of your bumps and lumps when you are wearing a pretty dress in the summertime.

    As far as going down to a size 4 to 2 to 0, I am a size 10 but I look like I am about an 8 and I would not want to be any smaller. My body frame will always keep me at an 8-10 regardless of my weight.

    Also regarding removing hair from the chin, I used to use Nair removal (the more sensitive formula). But I found a product in a beauty supply store called “Clean & Easy” Facial Hair Removal. I put it on for about 3-5 minutes then I removve it with a wet washcloth. I use it once a week.

    I dont use foundation. I stopped at 30. I use Proactive and it makes my skin really smooth. Then I use cover up for under my eyes. I bought a Clarisonic about a month ago for my face and body. So I will incorporate that into my beauty routine. I have always juiced and drank plenty of water and green tea w/lemon but I will be juicing a lot more going forward. I mix celery, cucumbers & apples for juicing. It tastes great!

    I use real cocoa butter on my whole body every night and it makes my skin really soft & pretty. Cocoa butter really benefits my skin during the winter weather months!

  21. SS says:

    I am going to ask a question and I hope it doesn’t make anyone squeamish. Does anyone know how one can deal with the discoloration (a darkening of the skin) of the inner thigh that comes with obesity? I am sorry if I offended anyone. Khadija if this is too personal then you don’t have to post it. I am losing weight and I would love to be my best self.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: No problem—I think these posts provide good opportunities to ask those sorts of questions. Somebody might have an answer. Off the top of my head, the only topics I can think of that are inappropriate and won’t be published are comments discussing sexual techniques or any other graphic content.]

    • Neecy says:

      SS

      Maybe try a lightening cream like Ambi. i have used it for dark spots on my face and it really diminishes hyperpigmentation.

      Or you could always see a dermatologist. But try a lightening cream like Ambi or some other first.

    • MissASP1993 says:

      BioOil is very expensive but amazing for any skin discolorations caused by anything! Plus, it’s very thick and requires only a tiny drop. If you use it twice a day for only a few days (3-5) you should see results right away!

    • You might want to have your insulin levels checked SS. Sometimes that type of discoloration is indicative of insulin resistance. As for a fasting glucose tolerance test.

  22. KimP says:

    Quick Tip – shave with hair conditioner instead of soap or shaving cream to get that smooth, “I don’t even grow body hair” feeling.

  23. Professher says:

    Just want to co-sign the Am-Lactin testimonials. One of the quickest ways to get rid of the bumpy feeling skin on the back of your thighs (friction-based) is to use this lotion. The change is real and fast. You can buy a large size at a great price at Costco. I’ve used it; it really DOES work. The scent isn’t pretty; I’ve used it at night and a scented lotion during the day or, to speed up its properties, day and night (when I could afford not to care about smelling pretty, e.g., while sitting at home, working).

    Also, for those of you who have such soft nails that they break when you LOOK at them hard (no matter how many supplements you take or polish treatments you use)? Gel or acrylic nails are a life-saver. Get ’em natural length or short, paint them in neutral tones (the palest pinks, tans, ivories, etc.). There’s NOTHING pretty or feminine about broken nails, especially when your nails are so soft that they break DEEP/on the nail bed! Nor do you feel pretty with such an affliction. Use technology and 21st century advances to help you; be ye not afraid! :o)

    One other tip: whitening ones teeth. The gel strips work on one application (your teeth won’t be AS white as if you used the product for 14-21 days; still, they shall be whiter than if you’d never used anything at all!), are cheap enough, and can be used without making an appointment with your dentist!

  24. Joyousnerd says:

    I love these posts!

    SS: Try ambi fade cream. It helps fade discolorations.

    OK, I have one tip, but it’s weight loss oriented. I personally just can’t eat ice cream. If I have one dollop, I will be unable to stop myself from wolfing down too much of it. πŸ™ I do love the creamy taste, though.

    Well, Baskin & Robbins makes sugar free hard candies that taste BETTER than real ice cream. If I’m lying, I’m flying. They are only a few calories per piece. When my sugar cravings are going nuts and I’m a hair’s breadth from binging on cake/pie/ice cream… I just pop one of these and the craving is handled. I’m savoring my candy while the others at the table are eating their treats.

    I find that putting a few in my purse is a great way to keep myself in check, diet-wise. The taste is just out of this world delicious, so creamy, nuanced and perfect. A whole sack of them is only a few dollars.

    Some of you may object to artificial sweeteners, and that’s fine for you. But there are those of us who really struggle, and these candies can keep the wolf from the door. For some dieters, if they mess up and eat ice cream one time, they will lose all momentum and be back to binging nonstop. So these sugar-free candies are great for those women.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: JoyousNerd, you don’t have to explain about the artificial sweeteners. The same way I won’t permit Natural Hair Wars here, I also WON’T allow folks to play Natural Food Police. Here’s how I feel about such people:

    Down with the Natural Hair Jihadis!
    Down with the Natural Food Police!
    Freedom for the rest of us!
    Let the rest of us live in peace!
    The. People. United. Will. Never. Be. Defeated!
    {chuckling at the addition of that last pro-labor chant}

    But seriously, I find these Natural Hair Jihadis/Natural Food Police people to be as oppressive as Jerry Falwell-types of people. I’m sick of all of them. The only difference is the subject matter of their quasi-theological bashing of other people.]

    • formavitae says:

      I’ve seen those candies. I wondered if they were any good. I can handle ice cream. The BAKERY is MY weakness! (LOL) I’ll buy a package of those candies next time I’m shopping and think about it. For those who have a bakery weakness as I do, if you like Twinkies, Weight Watchers sells Golden Sponge Cake w/Creamy Filling snacks. I think it’s a decent substitute. Also, Hostess sells Lemon Golden Cake w/creamy filling in 100 calorie packs (I just bought them and am trying them now to give a review. *smile*) They taste okay. But, if you have random cake/pastry cravings, you may want to have these for a backup.

  25. halima says:

    SS i think what you are discribbing is post inflammatory Hyperpigmentation. the thigh rub causes inflamation to the area which then responds with becoming hyperpigmented. its quite common with darker skinned women who have thighs that rub together.

    the first course of action should be i believe weight reduction, so the area doesnt rub (you can also use barriers like monistat gel etc but a more permanent solution would be to reduce the rubbing permanently through weight loss or it will just keep getting inflammed and over produce melanin (why it is very dark in the first place).

    the other thing about the weight loss is that the skin in the area is likely to ‘shift’, so the darkest more ‘cornified’ area might not remain inner thigh so isnt repeatedly damaged and connified. there is another bit of benefit to this kind of ‘restructure’ because it can move the treatment slightly away from the inner thigh area.

    I wouldnt recommend any over the counter. a dermatologist, would i believe be able to offer effective treatment regimes including laser, peels and strong fade creams (and dont worry they see it all the time and the adult entertainment industry clients have enabled them ‘perfect’ some treatment courses lol!).

    some people have also reported success with Kligmans formulation or pathaks formula which i believe has to be prescription (talking hardcore bleaching here).

    But overall i think first step is stop the rubbing and the symptoms will ease!

  26. *Audience Note*

    I think some readers might be misinterpreting my reply to AK. I sent the confidential blog posts to AK’s email address because (despite her modest description of her level of participation) she has actually been a regular commenter over a period of time. She has an established track record of regular participation in the blog discussions here that are of interest to her.

    The confidential posts are only sent to regular commenters who have established a track record of participation over time.

    {going back into radio silence}

  27. MissASP1993 says:

    About white teeth: The Crest 3D White system is great! I tried the toothpaste and it was okay but then I started using the advanced formula about a week ago and I’ve seen a big difference! I also read a magazine interview with an actress (not well known) with very white teeth who says she uses the 3D White strips for about $50 before a big event. Much cheaper than professional bleaching!

    PS: I’m sure the rinse works well too although I haven’t tried it.

  28. Lorie says:

    I’ve just purchased Stilla’s One Step PrimeColor (in Capri Coral). It is saving me lots of time and money as I apply it as blush, lipcolor as well as eyeshadow. It looks natural and polished. This product applied over my Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, followed by mascara makes for a 2-minute face. It’s great!!! (If you have 5 minutes, add concealer, brow filler and lipgloss.)

    http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P261620

    http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P140906&categoryId=B70