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Reader-Inspired Course Corrections From YMB

The willingness to listen with humility, to accept correction, and to engage in self-correction are qualities that I value. In that spirit, I’ve decided to imitate one of my favorite bloggers, Fabius Maximus, by doing an ongoing series of posts documenting instances (as they occur) where readers have either corrected my misconceptions or pointed out blind spots in my thinking. As I’ve always stressed, I’m definitely not any sort of guru, and I learn a lot from listening to the readers. Here’s the most recent reader-inspired course correction in my thinking―a reader named YMB pointed out something I had missed.

During a recent post, I said,

WHEN YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE DOING SOMETHING, THAT’S A CLUE THAT WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING IS NOT A GOOD IDEA

Here and at the previous blog, we’ve discussed a number of self-defeating behaviors that only African-American women engage in on a mass level:

. . . African-American women are alone on this planet in characterizing all romantic interest from men outside their racial group as a negative “fetish.” As I said during this post,

Faith, blog host of Acts Of Faith In Love And Life, is currently having an extremely important conversation. She’s raising points that need to be repeated among African-American women and girls who want to live well. And among those African-American women who want to maximize the odds of their future children living well. She asks the question, Are Asian Woman Trophy Wives, Or Just Smart At Picking Quality Husbands?

I would answer “both.” Yes, non-Asian men have stereotypes about Asian women. However, Asian women are shrewd enough to work those stereotypes to their individual (and indirectly to their collective) advantage! This is a lesson that more African-American women need to learn. We’re so preoccupied with issues of political correctness that we cut our own throats in terms of maximizing our marriage options. Nobody else operates like this. Certainly not Black men, including the many Pan-African Black male activists who talked “Black” this and that, and married White women. Including that scholar-hero of the ultra-Black, “Blacker than thou” crowd,

Cheikh Anta Diop (yep the very one considered one of the greatest African historians of the 20th century a senegalese) married Louise Marie Maes, a French woman in 1953 in Paris.

Many African-American women worry about nonblack men having a so-called “fetish” with the traits that these men find attractive. Let’s think about this for a moment. We’re actually bothered and offended when a nonblack man finds our West African-derived skin tones, features, and hair textures attractive. Why is it called a “fetish” if a nonblack man is able to appreciate Black women’s beauty? Meanwhile, we live among a collective of African-American men who are open about their hatred of those same West African complexions, features and hair textures in women! [See statements by creatures such as Yung Berg, NeYo, and so on. See statements and actions by countless other African-American men.]

And instead of calling these Black men the anti-Black racists that they are, we water down the language we use to describe what these racist Black males refer to as their “preferences.” So, there’s a post that asks, Does Hip Hop Like Light Skinned Girls Too Much? I need not say much more about how that question is being framed. It’s sort of like asking, “Does the Klan like white sheets and hoods too much?” In both cases, phrasing the question and the so-called “preference” that way deliberately misses the point.

Back to “fetishes.” Does it still count as a so-called “fetish” when the nonblack man is willing and eager to make a particular Black woman his wife first, and then the mother of his children? This type of “fetish” seems so much more respectful of the woman involved than a male who never offers marriage, and is willing to see his children by that woman born out of wedlock.

Instead of screening, dating, and possibly marrying nonblack men who might have a so-called “fetish” about their undiluted West African features that operates FOR them, many African-American women restrict themselves to dating Black men who have openly-declared fetishes that operate AGAINST them. How crazy is that?

YMB MENTIONED AN IMPORTANT POINT THAT I MISSED ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF BLACK WOMEN’S “FETISH” PARANOIA ABOUT NONBLACK MEN APPRECIATING THEIR BEAUTY

During this same conversation, YMB said:

I don’t think that BW concocted the whole “fetish” and “exotic” paranoia, although I think the lack of belief of our own worth and beauty is why so many BW have bought into that mindset. We are the only race of women that castigates rather than celebrates their uniqueness.

The “fetish” tactic was thought up by WW in an effort to tar and stifle WM’s noted interest in AW. The difference being that when AW were presented with this, they rejected it wholesale as a ploy to paint genuine attraction to non-white women as freakish and wrong and to block WM from elevating AW to the same status as WW. Meanwhile BW got the same message and thought, “he likes my kinky hair, brown skin, and African features– how unnatural!”

She’s right. This “fetish” talk was originally a weapon that White women forged to block Asian women’s access to marrying quality, “Alpha” White men. It was a real-world example of attempted “inception.” Asian women were smart and self-confident enough to turn that “fetish” idea to their own individual and collective advantage. Only African-American women (and similarly situated Western Black women) were mentally beaten down and silly enough to get caught in that worrying about a “fetish” snare. It’s yet another example of how easy it is for outsiders to successfully perform “inception” on African-Americans. As I mentioned during this post,

The pity is that, unlike in the movie, most African-Americans don’t have to be drugged to be vulnerable to inception. Simply hearing somebody else say something is enough to influence most of us.

ONE SAFEGUARD AGAINST INCEPTION IS TO ALWAYS ASK “CUI BONO?”

More African-American women must learn to constantly ask themselves the question: “Cui bono?” [“Who benefits?”]

Who benefits from the suggestion or argument that Person X is giving me? Now, it is possible to have win-win situations where Person X benefits along with Person Y with whom they’re speaking. But most African-American women are not presented with win-win sort of advice or political arguments. Usually it’s I Win, And You (African-American woman) Lose advice. Most African-American women are surrounded by people who are operating a zero-sum game—people who win when that Black woman loses.

So, we need to learn to constantly ask ourselves, “Cui bono?”

  • Who benefits from things (including my actions) remaining the same?
  • Who benefits from me making a change of some sort?
  • Who benefits from the arguments that are being presented to me?
  • Who benefits from the course of action being advocated?

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PONDERED “CUI BONO”?

I’d like to hear from the audience about the most recent examples in which you thought through the question “Cui bono?” My most recent incident was during a previous conversation when I discussed the case of Ms. Kelley Williams-Bolar and said,

Non-African-American outsiders (such as the libertarians) who give verbal support to thieves like this woman usually have some sort of ideological axe to grind. They wouldn’t support this woman stealing the benefit of their property taxes. They don’t want this woman or her daughter reaping the benefit of the taxes they paid into their personal school districts. White libertarians verbally support this woman because they want to destroy the unions. They are supporting this woman’s thievery only as a means to an end (destroying unions).

Cultivating critical thinking skills can mean the difference between abundant life and a needlessly diminished life.

ADDENDUM

I forgot to mention the following:

IF THERE’S SOMETHING YOU WANT ME TO RETHINK, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME SOME INFORMATION IN SUPPORT OF YOUR VIEWS

As you can see, at times I make course corrections in my views in response to readers’ input. I’ve never been in training to be Joseph Stalin. I prefer to focus the conversations on our own thought processes and actions, since those things are under our direct control as individuals. So, I’d rather not spend a lot of time rehashing what “they” (whoever “they” might be) are doing to “us.”

However, I am inviting audience members to use this and future Reader-Inspired Course Correction posts to raise other points (of disagreement or otherwise) that you want me to rethink and reconsider. This ties into my overall policy about dissent: I have no problem with dissent about the means that are suggested for achieving the goal of lifestyle optimization for African-American women and girls. However, I refuse to engage in lengthy discussions with people who are opposed to the very goal of lifestyle optimization for African-American women and girls. Of course, there’s no guarantee that I’ll change my mind; but I will consider all information that’s put forth.

PLEASE ALSO CONSIDER THIS AN “OPEN FORUM” OPPORTUNITY

This invitation doesn’t only include points of disagreement. Feel welcome to bring up issues you’d like to discuss that I haven’t talked about. Please consider these Reader-Inspired Course Correction posts as “open forum” posts.

February 6, 2011   228 Comments

An Emergency Warning To All Aspiring Sojourners

During Part 2 of the As A Quality Lady Would Think series, a reader named YMB perfectly summed up the concerns that prompted me to start this particular series of posts. Any African-American woman who wants to survive and thrive will have to leave the toxic, non-reciprocating all-Black social networks behind; and join better networks in the outer world. This means dropping the twisted, anti-life values of “new school” African-American mass culture, and adopting normal human values. A reader named Ms Mellody said it much more diplomatically: “Changing one’s environment entails changing of deep, deep set mindsets and thought processes.”

That’s right. Another reader named YMB said,

[Quoting from one of my earlier comments: Stop superimposing Rosa Parks’ and Emmett Till’s faces on the face of every modern day Black criminal defendant that you see. You’re insulting their memories when you do that.]

Modern AAs have not only insulted their memories with this mess, they have also gutted the legacy of the Civil Rights Movement. AAs have done an outstanding PR job in terms of convincing the world that our values are protecting and coddling criminals, underachievement and disruption in school, vulgarity as an art form, and bastardy and solo-parenting as the preferred family structure. No other group is embracing and promoting these values. No other group places a priority on nurturing the cancerous growths within their group rather than removing them with vigilance.

Are we really surprised that claims of racism, even when valid, largely fall on deaf ears outside of the AA collective, and that our pleas for help get ignored. Why would any other group care about our fate when we seem to care so little for ourselves?

I am surprised that so many readers of this blog were aligning themselves with Ms. Williams-Bolar and trying to give her a pass. The peace walls are coming and if you present yourself as someone who identifies with and seeks to protect and shelter people who are out of touch with basic human norms, you will find yourself shut behind those walls, figuratively and literally, with them.

(emphasis added) The peace walls ARE coming. Soon.

I made the following comment during that earlier conversation,

Let me re-emphasize something:

I don’t want this to be all about BM criminals. I’m telling y’all to ALSO stop rallying around the deviant, scam artist Black women such as Ms. Williams-Bolar (that was discussed at length in Part 1 of this series)!

Thank God, many of you in the audience are already comfortable with refusing to rally around BM criminals and deviants. But you still want to rally around BF criminals and deviants. You still want to rally around the baby factory BF welfare queens. You still want to automatically rally around every freakish Black woman like the South African intersexed runner Caster Semenya. You still have the knee-jerk, Sista Soldier reflex of rallying around every STRANGE Black person, and every Black person who’s doing something STRANGE.

I’m saying to catch the hint from the women of every other ethnic and racial group on this planet, and STOP doing that.

I’m cancelling this week’s edition of Finishing School Friday to discuss this emergency warning. I’m doing so because it doesn’t matter how physically attractive you and your mannerisms are if you’re still rallying around criminals and deviants. You’ll be identified as an undesirable and kept out of normal, reciprocating social networks in the global village.

ADDENDUM

In this Age of Turmoil, having a reciprocating, mutually supportive social network of productive people is increasingly becoming a matter of life and death. The signs are all around you. See here and here from The Sovereign Man blog for examples. I can’t repeat this enough:

If you mark yourself as an undesirable by rallying around criminals and deviants, you will be frozen out of the type of social networks that would help you during times of trouble.

February 3, 2011   129 Comments

Position Yourself To Be Courted By Multiple Governments

This post at The Sovereign Man discusses a new residency program being offered by Latvia. In pertinent part it says,

Latvia is broke… I’m talking flat broke– more than Spain, Greece, California, etc. And because this small Baltic, former Soviet republic is not in the Eurozone, it’s generally been left for dead by the EU’s larger economies save a few handouts here and there.

Latvia has recently taken matters into its own hands, establishing a unique new policy that entitles foreign investors to Latvian residency, as long as they meet minimum criteria.

This is a big deal, and I think it is all part of a new trend that will grow stronger in the coming years: governments competing for residents and citizens.

I believe he’s correct about that prediction. There will always be a flight of capital to lower-taxation jurisdictions. In addition to the something-for-nothing crowd who never wanted to pay taxes, there’s an additional group of people who will begin seeking lower-taxation jurisdictions: People who don’t want to be among the last ones paying taxes to failing governments. In an era of increasingly intrusive Homeland Security, there will also increasingly be a physical flight of more productive citizens out of the United States and into other jurisdictions. Among the savvy, this process of creating other residency options has already begun.

These overall trends (including the repercussions of the emerging Information Age-produced cyber-economy) were predicted by the authors of the 1997 book, The Sovereign Individual (link is to the updated edition of the book). The authors quoted Thomas L. Friedman, who said,

Once a country opens itself up to the global market . . . , those of its citizens with the skills to take advantage of it become the winners, and those without become losers or left-behinds. . . [U]sually one party . . . claims to be able to defy globalization or ease its pain. That is Pat Buchanan in America, the Communists in Russia and now the Islamic Welfare Party here in Turkey.

The Sovereign Individual,pg. 282. Simply update “Pat Buchanan” to “Tea Party” and “Sarah Palin,” and the statement holds true in 2011. As the authors point out, the biggest losers will be anybody who is a tax consumer. Whether they consume those taxes in the form of public aid, social security and other benefits, or a paycheck from a government job. Woe will be to those who depend solely on any type of government check. This process is speeding up as various government budgets continue to collapse. For an example, see here.

Unfortunately, the masses will continue to position themselves to end up being “losers and left behinds.” In particular, African-American Losers and Left Behinds do this by proclaiming various options as “impossible” (such as creating additional income streams, acquiring a second passport, and so on) without ever investigating the possibilities of creating these options for themselves.

Meanwhile, the Sojourners will continue to position themselves to be part of the emerging productive, affluent demographic who will be courted by multiple countries. A critical part of this successful positioning is to develop location-independent income streams in addition to other ones.

January 17, 2011   106 Comments

Britain Reveals The Dead-End Future For “Black Love” In The US—48% Of West Indian Black Men In The UK Are In Relationships With Nonblack Women

Instead of the usual handwringing that African-American women do about these issues, let’s look at some trend lines in terms of our own interests as Sojourners.

AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN WHO BELIEVE IN THE “BLACK LOVE” MYTH ARE DOOMED

African-American women who are Black Love Dead-Enders are doomed. The trend lines don’t favor their delusions or delusional slogans about “Black love.” As I mentioned in an early post,

Mark my words: The “Black women as martyrs” recruiters will keep demanding that you martyr yourself no matter what happens. They will continue making these demands until the final demise of the African-American collective. They will repeat the same slogans as African-Americans continue becoming more deeply entrenched in permanent underclass status, and overall disintegration.

They will keep making these demands of you even after the African-American out of wedlock birthrate reaches 90-95 percent. The 1965 Moynihan Report warned about the rising illegitimacy rate among African-Americans. Most of our people didn’t heed the warning. Instead, we recited angry slogans in response.

They will keep making these demands of you even after the African-American male interracial relationship rate approaches 50 percent and beyond. For those of you who think this can’t or won’t happen, I would refer you to the current example of the Caribbean Black male population in the United Kingdom. West Indian Black men’s interracial relationship rate in the UK has reached 48 percent. (See the BBC Caribbean.com story from January 19, 2009, The Mixed Race March in Britain.)

In fact, the UK situation is a sneak preview of how African-American men will continue their singular focus on seeking their own individual bliss while the deceived masses of Black women in the U.S. keep trying to uphold “Black love” and the “Black family” . . . all by themselves.

In the US, this “Black love” and “Black marriage” talk is a dead end. As I said in that same post,

FOR EXAMPLE, STOP TRYING TO SAVE “BLACK MARRIAGE” IN AMERICA—IT WON’T BE RESURRECTED BECAUSE 50% OF THE NEEDED PARTICIPANTS—BLACK MEN—PREFER THAT IT REMAINS DEAD
There won’t be any collective solution to what has been called “Black Marital Mogadishu” in the United States because 50% of the participants needed for any Black marriage—Black men—benefit from the current absence of marriage among African-Americans. Black men generally like things the way they are right now.

The collapse of the African-American family is not about a lack of jobs. It’s about African-American men generally being content with the collapse of the African-American family. Black men will complain about the aftershocks created by the mass absence of marriage among African-Americans, such as the legions of fatherless, violent Black male criminals. But other than that, they’re content with the status quo.

Anybody who thinks that this behavior is driven by a lack of opportunity should examine the collective behavior of the African-American men who do have “good” educations and jobs. Since so many Black men in that category are not marrying at all, or they’re not marrying Black women, there’s no reason to assume that Black women would gain from African-American men having more opportunities. I learned that just by watching the behavior of the Black men that went to college and law school with me. There’s usually little to no return on that investment (creating opportunities for African-American men) flowing back to any Black woman at all.

If you look at their mass behavior and not their rhetoric, it’s clear that most African-American men don’t value marriage, and are not concerned about the now-dead “Black family.” African-American men like the status quo situation of their mass refusal to marry the Black women they have sex with and impregnate. From outward appearances, most African-American men are happy with a lifetime of sleeping around without the commitments or responsibilities of marriage.

If you look at their mass behavior, it’s also clear that African-American men are also not particularly concerned about the children they produce.

These “save the dead Black family” discussions are not even a blip on most African-American men’s radar . . . unless Black women start talking about solutions that don’t include continuing to wait around for African-American men—such as interracial marriage and a focus on dating non-African-American Black men (for those Black women who must have a Black man as their husband).

Incidentally, African-American men have long known that Black love is dead. Sometimes, usually while arguing another point, they admit this fact. I recently came across the post In Defense of Muslim Men and Islam from Imam Isa Mateen,

Muslim men are the largest and perhaps only group of men in the Black community that still marry Black women. For the most part, marriage in the Black community, particularly among the 20- 30 yr old, is dead! While there are some Christians or others who still marry – the main group that still regularly marries are the Muslims.

Yes, there are problems with the marriages. But those problems did not come from Islam. They come from our being raised in a non Islamic and anti Islamic environment, where we learned anti Islamic ways, customs, attitudes, habits, and Euro centric thought patterns.

Islam combats the negative, self destructive mores of America and seeks to replace them with clean, respectful relationships. Some of us have cleaned up more than others.

We expect Euro centric Christians and Euro centric, Christianized negroes to attack Islam with their tongues. But it has become fashionable now for our so called Black nationalist brethren to stretch forth their tongues against Muslims as well.

I say “so-called” Black nationalists because one must question the motives of those who attack the Muslims when the Muslims have been a historical ally to Blacks. Not the racist, stand offish, wanna-be White Arab/ Pakistani / Bangladeshi/ immigrants who sell swine, lottery tickets, cigarettes, drug paraphernalia , alcohol and fake halal meat to our people. It is the Imam Jamil Al- Amins and Malik El- Shabazzs (Malcolm X), that have been the friends of the Black community. It is the countless Black Muslims that are community leaders and mediators that have been friends to the Black community. To attack such people is a divide and conquer strategy that should be rather transparent.

. . . A Muslim brother will marry a sister with five, six or seven kids without blinking an eye! That brother will pay tuition, feed, clothe and play with these fatherless children just like their own. Often these children suffer from severe emotional and psychological trauma from their fatherless condition which causes them to act out. The Muslim man will struggle to teach morals and discipline to children that have been left behind by some worthless negro – who’s probably a fake Black nationalist!

. . . Quietly, because Muslims tend to be quiet people, millions of Black children are being raised by Black Muslim men who sometimes lose their lives or their freedom protecting the woman from her crazy-behind, no account baby -daddy.

Remember that the next time some loud mouth, you-tube revolutionary, fake Black nationalist attacks Islam.

Now, what Imam Mateen is saying is true . . . as far as it goes. But there are several critical observations that were glossed over as “problems with the marriages.” It’s beyond the scope of this post to get too far off into this, but I’ll mention a few of the major problems among Sunni (“orthodox”) African-American Muslims. First, yes it’s true that Sunni Muslim Black men do frequently marry Black women. The problem is the word “frequently.” Sunni Muslim Black men often marry with the intention of divorcing the woman in a matter of days, and then moving on to the next “wife.” Basically, these men have a series of religious-ceremony-only “marriages” in order to make their promiscuity religiously “legal.” [If you’re bored and in the mood to wade through oceans of insanity, read this thread where nuts are justifying these temporary “marriages.”]

Second, there is the mass phenomenon of African-American Sunni Muslim males flying off to Morocco to purchase Arab wives. This practice is so widespread that another Sunni Black man blogger felt the need to address that behavior pattern in this post. Then there are the Black male wife-beaters who are attracted to Islam because they like what they hear from Ike Turner Imams who give fake religious justification for abusing women. Imam Mateen has bravely confronted Black male members of what he calls the “wife beater cult”. Then there are Sunni Muslim Black men like Tariq Nelson (who, if I remember correctly, has a nonblack wife) who advocate what he calls “the new passing” as the solution to anti-Black racism from nonblack immigrant Muslims.

Obviously, African-American Islam is not any kind of “Black love” paradise. And neither is the Nation of Islam. Min. Ishmael Muhammad (one of Elijah Muhammad’s many illegitimate children) has a nonblack wife.

THE SOJOURNERS NEED TO GET CLEAR OF BLACK FEMALE “BLACK LOVE” DEAD-ENDERS BEFORE THEY REALIZE THEY’VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND

I said the following during a recent conversation,

Those of us who are serious about living well need to get clear of “Black female-Black Love Dead-Enders.” If sojourners feel like they’re being subjected to hateration right now, just wait—you haven’t seen anything yet. When the BF-Black Love Dead-Enders:

(1) read the results of the latest US Census report (which will document that AA males are on the path to catching up with their British West Indian BM “cousins” in terms of IRR—thank God for that!*),

(2) watch increasing numbers of Sojourners move on into abundant life with husbands from the global village,

(3) and finally let it sink into their heads that NOBODY is coming to their rescue . . .

WATCH OUT! The BF-Black Love Dead-Enders will vent an explosion of hateration toward the sojourners who escaped.

*Why do I say “Thank God!” that AA males’ interracial relationship rates are steadily catching up with those of West Indian BM in the UK? Because a leopard doesn’t change its spots! It’s better for AA males to take their issues and collective damage to nonblack women who can better withstand that damage. Nonblack women are more likely to have supportive family networks that support them when their AA male boyfriends, husbands, and baby daddies abandon them and their children. Leopards don’t change their spots.

Apparently, Caribbean-British BM in the UK have many of the same deficits as AA males. The results of many Caribbean-British BM’s unions with WW in the UK have been thoroughly documented. From the British Journal of Social Work:

SUMMARY It is now well documented that the majority of mixed-parentage children who enter the public care system in Britain have a white biological mother and a black African Caribbean father. This paper explores some of the underlying factors which increase the vulnerability of mixed-parentage children. The situation of white single mothers is examined in the context of ‘race’, class, gender and location in British society. Empirical findings from two recent research studies provide a profile of white single mothers and their children in receipt of social work help and assistance. Areas for further discussion are raised within this framework.

(emphasis added)

Anyone who has been involved in child welfare in the US has observed similar patterns. It’s quite clear that, regardless of the mother’s race, a HUGE disproportionate percentage of American children in foster care are BM’s children.

The bottom line is that the masses of AA men DON’T do any better by nonblack women and the children they have with these women than what they do with BW and children. The vast majority of AA men CAN’T build or sustain wholesome families. So, it’s best that they take their deficits to some other type of woman.

Anyhoo, when the BF Black Love Dead-Enders who are counting on AA males to “do better” finally wake up from their delusion … there’ll be an implosion among these women. That’s why the rest of us need to get FAR AWAY from these women right now—before they realize that they’ve doomed themselves with their Black Love delusions.

Like many other Sojourners, I’ve had the experience of getting deeply angry stares from some deeply angry Black women when I’m out and about with Mr. White Man. As more of these Black women who have been suffering while waiting for a nonexistent Black prince realize they’ve been left behind, their reactions will only get more extreme. Sojourners, get clear of these “nuthin’ but a Black man”-type of Black women. Now.

YOUR RESOURCES ARE A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE—ARE YOU WASTING THEM ON NONRECIPROCATING PERSONS?

Evia, blog host of Black Female Interracial Marriage Ezine said the following during a conversation at the previous blog,

Khadija, I had never heard of Van Jones either until I heard bw talking about him a few days ago, saying he was being attacked by “de evil wm.” The second I heard what his position was, I would have bet a very huge amount of money that he either dated non-bw exclusively or that he was married to a non-bw.

There IS a pattern here, yet so many bm think they’re duping others by claiming they just “fell in love” with a non-bw. Well, they actually are duping the masses of AA women, but no one else. So many gaslighted bw will go around like zombies saying, “Well, love is just love” or “You can’t help who you love,” when it comes to AA men. That’s another form of bm protection. I mean, if that’s TRUE and bm can’t help who THEY love, then why is it that so many AA women obviously can stop themselves from loving wm?

PREDICTION: I want any bw reading this to just know that virtually ANY bm who she knows who is upwardly-mobile IS on his way to a non-bw if it’s at all possible. He may be your son, your brother, cousin, young man at your church, but IF he’s upwardly mobile, he more than likely is going to share his upward mobility with a non-bw. I’m not talking about those “struggling” or defeated bm; I’m talking about the ones who more than likely are going to do okay.

Knowing this, you, as an AA woman, need to decide how much you’re willing to invest in creating a non-bw’s comfortable lifestyle because whatever you do to help him, he’s going to share it with her–if it’s within his environment to do so.

It’s not the non-bw’s fault though; it’s mainly bw’s fault for not demanding reciprocity from bm and for continuing to invest in the well-being of others while her own daughters perish.

You may not care about that, but don’t act surprised about any of this because it doesn’t make bw look smart–since other folks can clearly see the pattern. If you haven’t seen this pattern, ask yourself why you haven’t.

This is not about bw’s “attitude” and nothing to do with bw having “too much education,” or any of the usual excuses that AA males give.

These males PREFER non-bw, which is their prerogative as long as they don’t get any investment, support, or protection from bw. That’s the critical piece here: the MONEY TRAIL. Bw–GET SHREWD! Always follow the money trail! Do not invest in lifting up a bm unless he knows there are strings attached and only if you’re going to be able to collect.

If we were to look into this man’s past, we would see where it was mainly countless bw’s time, energy, money, guidance, and protection that put him in his position. We definitely know that it wasn’t any other group of women who lifted him up. . . .

Ladies, now that you’re back from various Christmas gatherings with your (biological) relatives, this is a good time to take stock. Are you investing resources into a Black male nephew, cousin, or anybody else who is on his way to giving those same resources to a nonblack woman? If so, why are you investing in someone who will never invest in any Black woman (usually including his own Black mother)?

A reader named Zoopath recently mentioned taking stock of various folks’ “body of work” relative to supporting Black women,

. . . I make it my business to know the “body of work re: AAW” of any person or organization before I support it. That litmus test has really culled the herd of entities that I feel obligated to support. It’s amazing (in a sad way) how many people expect us to be civil rights mules. . .

Your resources are a terrible thing to waste. Don’t waste them on non-reciprocating people.

LET’S REVIEW THE 2 TAKE-AWAY POINTS FOR SOJOURNERS

There are two main points here:

  • Get clear of the “nuthin’ but a Black man”-type of Black women before they wake up and explode; and
  • Take a fresh look at your resource trail, and cut off any flow going toward non-reciprocating people.

ADDENDUM—VETTING BEGINS AT HOME

In a comment to this post, a reader named Xai perfectly summed up my second point about our personal resource trails. She said,

@[Another Reader]
I am heartened to hear of your housecleaning of the black males in your immediate circle. I know and have been told that I am very radical in my stance regarding black males. It’s just that I am perplexed, something doesn’t add up. We all know of the huge number of dbrbm yet I always hear black women making exceptions for the males in their families. Can’t be true!

So I ask that black women bring vetting to a personal level. Before vetting males as potential suitors, we must vet the males in our families and jettison those that are found wanting. I too, have had hideous family drama such that I have jettisoned my 4 brothers. None of them ever brought home a black hued woman, only the lightest females they could find, all while continually bashing black women. When they fell on hard times, guess who they expected to bail them out?

Some of the questions we should ask ourselves about our sons/brothers etc is: What is the color and caliber of the women they bring home or associate with? What are the characteristics of the women they revere? Are they there to support/help the women of your family? Do they form relationships with women who look like you? Have they produced children? Are they caring for those children financially and emotionally? How do they treat women in general? Is there a difference in treatment based on hue?

This isn’t rocket science! The truth starts at home, if we refuse to see the bs in our own homes how can we steer clear of it in the real world? It’s time for utter, brutal truth in 2011.

Xai is absolutely right. The truth starts at home. Vetting starts at home.

December 26, 2010   124 Comments

“Good Luck And Fine Quality For 10,000 Years”

WHEN DID SO MANY OF US BECOME SO . . . SMALL?

Recently, I’ve been paying close attention to the overheard conversations of the African-Americans I randomly encounter at work, in restaurants, in stores, walking down the streets.

I’m rediscovering why I usually tune out such things.

When did we become so uncompromisingly . . . small? When did we become satisfied with living LOW- and NO-impact lives? On one level, I suppose that this is to be expected from people who are barely making ends meet. What’s the excuse for members of the so-called “talented tenth”?

Our thoughts are . . . small.
Our dreams are even smaller.
There is no ambition.
There are no grand visions of making a lasting mark during one’s life.

What happened to us?

I look at this and contrast it with examples of other people who made marks that have endured for generations. People who had long-term, grand visions. Visions that were “built to last.”

The next time you see a bottle of Kikkoman soy sauce, please be aware that this family-owned Japanese company has existed for 17 generations. Kikkoman started as a small, regional soy sauce business in 1630, using a recipe invented by the widow of one of the samurai of Prince Hideyori. The firm began exporting soy sauce in 1868. Centuries of Success: Lessons From the World’s Most Enduring Family Businesses, pg. 27.

The next time you see a Kikkoman bottle, please be aware that the characters for the brand name “Kikkoman” can be translated as “good luck and fine quality for 10,000 years.” That’s quite an ambitious vision for one’s business! The Mogi family also carefully considered the values that they wanted to pass on to future generations of the family and family business.

In the late 1700s or early 1800s the Mogis established a family constitution institutionalizing their cooperative effort to concentrate talent and experience in shoyu [soy sauce] manufacture at Noda. Among other things the short document noted:

‘Sincerity first and profits will follow. Neglect neither . . . Avoid luxury and cultivate simplicity and earnestness . . . Attend to your health. Eat simple foods no different than those taken by your employees . . . Twice a year call a family meeting; praise family members according to their character and not according to their profits.’

From the Soy Info Center site.

WHETHER OR NOT YOU REALIZE IT, YOU’RE PART OF A MUCH BIGGER PICTURE

Sometimes African-Americans get so caught up in our insular “Black issues” that we forget we’re part of what has been called The Great Conversation that started during the dawn of human history. For the most part, as individuals and as a collective, African-Americans are content to be nameless “extras” on the global stage. Our thoughts about our legacy generally only extend to becoming (or supporting somebody else in becoming) “the first Black X.” Frankly, this is pathetic and reflects slavery- and segregation-era programming. Why aim to be “the first Black X” when you could be The First X? Why aspire to be “the largest Black X” when you could be “the largest X”?

EACH AREA OF HUMAN EFFORT HAS ITS OWN HEROES AND TITANS—WHY NOT BE ONE OF THEM?

I also notice that many African-Americans have a comic-book sort of view about what constitutes an accomplishment. So many times, we only recognize the extremely narrow range of achievements that have been labeled as accomplishments as accomplishments. Things such as holding certain types of job titles, political offices, and so on (astronaut, mayor, c/rap “artist”). Meanwhile, there are countless other fields that are ripe for innovation. There are countless other possibilities for making heroic accomplishments. During The Art Of Stealth, Part 5: Cultivating Personal Character As A Weapon And Shield, I discussed the contrast between some African-American writers who were whining at a conference and some White writers who were blazing trails by using the strategy of podcasting their books,

What I found most striking—and not in a good way—is what I DIDN’T see in this news story:

I didn’t see any mention made of any of these AA writers taking the innovative steps that others have taken to create consumer awareness and demand for their fiction. Such as the strategy of doing (free or paid) podcasting of their novels to develop a base of readers and more importantly, book-buyers. At the earlier blog, I did a post about a (WM) science fiction/thriller author who did this (Scott Sigler).

There’s also an interview at Editor Unleashed with another (WM) author (crime novelist Seth Harwood) who used this strategy to generate exposure for his work. Another fiction writer who podcasted his work is the (WM) thriller writer, J.C. Hutchins, who wrote the 7th Son trilogy.

Note: These men didn’t just whip up a novel and toss it out there without some sort of plan for growing an audience for their work. In 2 of these cases, they used (iTunes) podcasting to create a VERIFIABLE audience for their fiction, and later leveraged these verifiable numbers into book contracts.

Now, I’m not saying that the podcasting one’s novel (freebie or paid) method always works—after all, we’re probably only hearing about the success stories with this technique. My point is that when I read news stories about (and essays by) AA authors I DON’T hear any of them brainstorming creative ideas like podcasting for generating exposure and consumer awareness of their work. Instead, I hear whining and waiting for White publishers and other White entities to make it happen for them.

The other thing that I believe AA novelists should factor in their plans is the sort of fiction they’re writing.

It seems to me that it’s probably easier to use the above sort of consumer awareness building/reader-building techniques when you’re writing in genres that have a subculture of voracious, book-hungry readers—such as science fiction and romance. The so-called “street lit” peddlers have created a genre that has a subculture of readers who are hungry for that trash.

Unfortunately, I haven’t read or heard many serious, legitimate AA writers do any sort of strategizing about any of the above. The one “strategy” seems to consist of whining about and to Whites in the industry.

During that conversation, a reader named Nathalie described the itsy-bitsy visions on display at a Black literary conference she attended,

I just attended a black literary conference. It was frustrating an depressing to see what they focused on, but my takeaway is that therein lies plenty of opportunity if you can do what the whiners and the complacent are not; meet unmet demands and find your willing-to-pay audience and make them raving, buying fans. I heard a lot of complaining (from established, published authors) about why don’t (mostly white) mass market book buyers/sellers prioritize, set-aside space for and promote their work… {sigh}. When one whining author did share a marketing idea novel to the discussion that he and other authors were implementing collectively, another African America panelist jumped in to say why they would be met with resistance and failure. It was funny because it was an idea that I had been contemplating and had already expanded on to include even more avenues and was wondering why more authors didn’t do the same.

And when I asked how to find an established, industry-wide respected up-to-date African American bestseller and recommended reading list for a VERY specific multi-million dollar market genre under discussion, the panel went blank, flatlined and the MC recommended I put that in “my google” on “my internet.” {Eye Roll}. When I asked for recommendations for contemporary work within a high demand subcategory within the genre, but beyond the heavily “woe is me, let my people go downtrodden African American” aspect that dominates the genre, I was met with “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout Willis” stares & shrugs.

It seemed like the black conference panelists and audience were waiting for white people to prioritize them, and felt it was owed them. The discrimination they faced seemed to overwhelm their powers of discernment. The power brokers in the room–most of them white–kept giving away the “secret”: create work with consumer demand we can’t ignore, and then we’ll probably pay attention to you. The second “secret” was: when facing insurmountable yet unspecified resistance, get white people with authority and clout within the industry to vouch for you, both in word and in writing (a “secret” that has another “secret” key lying within). They admitted that the authors would still face barriers, including racial bias, as well as all the other barriers everyone in the industry is subject to, but that ultimately paying customers/money talks so loud that it could get anyone, including them, a seat at the table.

What struck me as a missing element from the skill set in the room was course corrective resilience. People have taken resilience to mean the ability to endure more of the same while continuing to do more of the same–which is actually a variation on insanity. Given what I saw it strikes me that we need to expand our understanding and practice of resilience to include rational, ongoing course corrections in which nothing is sacred and everything is up for scrutiny and revision with success in mind.

What strikes me as missing from these preaching to the similarly suffering choir conferences, is identifying what’s important, examples of success and lessons learned and creative problem solving where there are problems and barriers.

This is what so many of us reduce ourselves to—looking for somebody else to make a spot for us. It doesn’t have to be like that. We can make great and lasting contributions of our own. To any field of human endeavor that we choose.

A VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF “THE WEALTH OF NATIONS” OVER THE PAST TWO CENTURIES

I found out about the following video from this post at The Sovereign Man blog. As he explains,

In the video below, Rosling charts a moving 200-year history of the wealth and life expectancy of 200 countries. In just 4-minutes, he shows that the gap between developing countries and developed countries is actually rather small, and that places like Shanghai, Taiwan, South Korea, and Singapore have already caught up with the west.

Two of the things that I thought of immediately when watching this video were-

1) The catastrophic long-term effects of government-organized folly (war, central planning, currency debasement, etc.) are very clear when watching the progression of his data set;

2) It’s incredible how fast developing nations can catch up with the west; technology, productivity, and a high savings rate are key drivers, and those are the critical ingredients to look for when assessing the long-term growth capacity of any economy.

Now, I don’t have to remind anyone which group of nations continue to cluster in the poorest and sickest quadrant of the graph. Even though it’s not covered in this video, I also don’t have to tell anybody where the African-American collective is clustered relative to the rest of the American population. Finally, I don’t have to describe what direction the African-American collective is headed. We can already see what our collective folly has created for us—an increasingly entrenched underclass status in the US. By “folly,” I mean our majority out of wedlock birth rate (oow), the single parenting that is the predictable result of oow, low innovation rate, low business formation rate, our undeclared and permanent boycott of visibly Black-owned businesses, and so on.

YOU CAN CHART YOUR OWN POSITION ON THAT GRAPH

I will note that most African-Americans are not involved in the activities the Sovereign Man blog host mentioned that enabled specific nonwestern nations to catch up with the West. However, this does not have to apply to you as an individual. The same way specific Asian countries pulled away from others who are stuck closer to the sick and poor corner of the graph, you can also pull away from the downward trend of the African-American collective. Their most likely unhappy fate does not have to be your fate. The first step is to expand your vision for yourself and your legacy:

  • Are the effects of your choices “built to last”?
  • Will the effects of any of your choices endure?
  • Are you building anything that is intended to last?
  • What impact will your actions have on life 17 generations from now?

December 14, 2010   43 Comments