As A Quality Lady Would Think, Part 1: A Lady Does Not Try To Grab Something In Exchange For Nothing

Given the recent online conversations about Kelley Williams-Bolar, now is a good time to review some concepts discussed during the Joining Better Networks series of posts.

A QUALITY LADY IS NOT A THIEF

I said the following in replying to a reader’s recent email about Ms. Williams-Bolar.

I’m not sympathetic to this mother. Not at all. She’s a thief who stole the benefit of other people paying thousands of property tax dollars each year into that school district. If she was so concerned about getting her daughter into that school, why didn’t she move and rent her own apartment in that school district? Also, I don’t agree with how the teacher’s unions are being demonized [in the link I was sent about the story].

To sum up: The way this site (and other folks) are framing the issue deliberately misses the point, as far as I’m concerned. The schools are better in certain areas because of the many types of investments that concerned parents are paying into those schools. Parents in high-performing districts are paying into their local schools through their property taxes. They also pay by their active participation in ensuring their own child’s behavior and performance while at school. Parents in high-performing districts also aren’t doing what most African-Americans do―which is use the local public schools as a free babysitting service while taking no interest or participation whatsoever in their children’s behavior at school.

The schools’ performance in any given district are a reflection of the neighborhood parents’ level of personal investment in those schools, and investment in ensuring their own children’s academic performance.

As far as I’m concerned, they should force the mother in that news story to pay for the benefit that her daughter got as a result of all those other parents who actually live in that school district paying thousands of dollars in property taxes each year. Basically, this mother defrauded all these other people into subsidizing her child’s education in addition to their own children’s education. While this mother apparently chipped in nothing. I’m not feeling that woman. Not at all…

LETTING GO OF THE “SOMETHING FOR NOTHING” MINDSET IS ESSENTIAL FOR JOINING BETTER NETWORKS

As mentioned during this post,

Humans are social animals, and always cluster into various groups. Unless you’re a hermit, you’re a member of various (sometimes overlapping) groups. These networks vary in size, purpose, and effectiveness.

Most African-American women need to find and join new, healthy networks in the global village. Because their current all-Black networks tend to be accidentally chosen, non-reciprocating, and often downright destructive. However, to join productive networks, most African-American women will need to change the way they approach networking. Most importantly, they will need to change their understanding of the entire process.

. . .

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT #3: PURGE YOUR MIND OF THE “PEOPLE OWE ME SOMETHING” MENTALITY

When most African-Americans speak of networking, what they’re really describing is coattail riding. It doesn’t occur to them that they should or need to contribute value to the target person they want to benefit from. Especially when that target person is also African-American. Most African-Americans have an entitlement, “hook me up” mindset. That’s why you hear all this talk of expecting other African-Americans to “reach back,” and “set up programs” for them. It’s all one-sided. The people looking for the handout from other Blacks never say what they’re going to do in exchange for any assistance given. Because they don’t intend to do anything except TAKE from that person. And if you don’t hook them up, then they create an entire narrative in their minds about how you must be jealous and evil. It’s irrational.

In addition to being irrational, this mindset is unattractive. Most productive, mutually supportive networks don’t look kindly on chiselers and thieves. The African-American collective is the only one that gives knee-jerk support and sympathy to thieves. The nonblack political ideologues (such as the nonblack libertarians) who support Ms. Willimams-Bolar’s style of thievery are only doing so because they want to destroy unions and organized labor. After all, these are the same people who want to end the minimum wage, and are opposed to affirmative action.

Let’s be clear: out in the (non-African-American) real world, most people don’t like chiselers and thieves. So, it’s best not to be one if you want to be welcome among productive social networks. A quality lady is not a chiseler or a thief looking to grab something for nothing.

Tagged as:  ·

143 Responses to “As A Quality Lady Would Think, Part 1: A Lady Does Not Try To Grab Something In Exchange For Nothing”

  1. MsMellody says:

    Good Morning Khadija, And thank you for posting your reply to the Kelly Williams-Bolar teaching moment! I knew that this was a valid and worthy teaching/teachable moment issue at hand.

    I too know of a woman who has engaged in this type of activity..I also told this woman that this is just wrong what she is doing..and that no-one owed or owes her kids or her ANYTHING!!

    She and I dont talk as much as we used to, due in part to me dating and marrying outside my race, and the inevitable changes in our social worlds. And this is not bragging at all on my part – and yes even reading this reply I feel as though I have some need to apologize..and THIS is even a teachable moment for me.
    Changing one’s environment entails changing of deep deep set mindsets and thought processes. I know FULL WELL NOW that so VERY VERY much of a woman’s rise and or fall is inextricably related to whom she dates-marries-bears children with- and associates with.

    It’s as clear as day — if Kelly Williams-Bolar had dated and married a successful man she would have more than likely lived a different life..in a better area so that in turn her children would have been going to the better/best school district and she wouldnt be facing the issue of serving time right now -or- losing her teaching eligibility due to becoming a convicted felon!!!

    Wow..this is truly a clear cut case of what you Evia and other enlightened black female bloggers have been teaching/preaching/presenting for years now!!!

    So I thank you for pointing this out – it is yet another lesson to be well learned. A Quality Lady is NOT a thief!!!

  2. Evelyn says:

    Tell it, Khadija!! In fact, this is one of my number one PET PEEVES with black people at large!

    But on the flip side of things, when you try to be the kind of person that gives as much as you’re getting, the same people tend to act like you’re a fool or a butt-kisser. And they’ll go out of their way to hate you and punish you for it. I experienced it first-hand from my former “community” and am desperately trying to let go of the rage I feel towards them for the method they chose to punish me (the sexual assault I mentioned a while ago). It gets that serious with these type of people, because they function on such a primal and self-serving level that basically anyone or thing that’s in opposition to their way of thinking is in opposition to THEM. (And as an aside, we need to realize – in case some of us haven’t already – that when these people finally run out of outside sources to drain and you’re still standing close enough to them when it happens, they WILL come and drain/abuse you without hesitation. I know you’ve been saying this over and over, Khadija.)

    So how do you keep from taking your battle wounds out into the real world, and be a lady without feeling gun-shy or reserved? I can’t be the only BW who’s feeling jaded by experience.

    • Karen says:

      Leave the battle wounds on the battlefield. When you are in the “real world”, you define how you react with it thus creating your “new reality” away from a toxic environment.

      The harsh reality is that in the real world everyone is working to serve their self-interests be it self, family, etc. They will not be interested in your battle wounds.

      I kindly recommend that you seek out professional help to heal those wounds, put the past in perspective and concentrate on the here and now in order to work towards a better future.

      • Evelyn says:

        Thank you, Karen, I definitely appreciate your advice. Especially this:

        When you are in the “real world”, you define how you react with it thus creating your “new reality” away from a toxic environment.

        helps to put things into perspective for me a little. I’m very focused on making a clean break from my environment entirely, it shouldn’t take me more than a month. And I’m confident that when that break happens, these wounds that appear so big to me now won’t seem so fatal very quickly. At least, I’m hoping! I’m in counseling already but it does tend to feel like I’m not making much progress, and I think that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I still live near the pain.

        Not for long! 🙂

        • mobile68 says:

          Evelyn:

          I’m in counseling already but it does tend to feel like I’m not making much progress, and I think that probably has a lot to do with the fact that I still live near the pain.

          I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that feels this way. I’m living in AND near it & it’s a struggle, but not for long.

          So i wouldn’t feel totally hopeless, I’ve enrolled in a school that is 50+ miles from my home. I found out they have a women’s support program that will help w/ tuition & support me while I’m attending there. The enviroment there compared to the community college around the corner from me is like night & day. I feel like a human being!

          I’m taking a class where I’m the only AA & BF & so far I like it that way. I have been to some of the stores & restaurants in the area & everybody I’ve encountered seemed to be genuinely nice.

          There are a lot of big name companies in that area as well so my employment prosepects s/b pretty good. Noticing this has given me more confidence about future entrepreneurship prospects.

          And when I looked through their park district program booklets, I was in awe of the things they had to offer. Things you would never see or hear of where I’m currently at. Oh did I mention there are very few sprinkles of AA’s in mentioned area?

          Once I gain steady employment I will be looking to move to that area. Doing that has brought a little sunshine into an otherwise current gloomy situation.

          Evelyn, I have said all that to say try to get into something that is in tune to your AUTHENTIC self. Just do some reasearch, ask questions & go to the place or places you want to be so you can see & feel that there is a real world outside of the crap called the AA community.

          Also what I like about my target community is it is multicultural. Try not to move into all-white or any segregated areas because they can be draining on your mentality as an all-black area.

          At the end of the day, life is for the living and not for the just existing, content w/crumbs, inflexible thinking, poverty-mentality type of folks. Trust me those crabs revel in seeing you miserable, because that’s what they percieve as being “normal”.

          In addtion to my consuling sessions, here’s a few websites I go to for inspiration & motivation. I hope you & others that read this blog find these useful:

          http://www.abundancetapestry.com/

          http://chrisguillebeau.com

          http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2011/01/28/shortcut-to-making-big-life-decisions/

          http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2010/05/18/tim-ferriss-scam-practical-tactics-for-dealing-with-haters/

    • tertiaryanna says:

      “So how do you keep from taking your battle wounds out into the real world, and be a lady without feeling gun-shy or reserved? “

      I think a key element is developing boundaries. Women are taught to give for the sake of being “good” or “nice”. There’s nothing wrong with that, but these attributes should be tempered with limits and (dare I say it?) strategy.

      (When I say “you”, I don’t mean you, Evelyn. This is just the general “you.”)

      You don’t need to give everything, or even most things. You have a right to your own interests, and concerns.

      I think successful give/take relationships are where one person’s need intersects with another person’s desire to give. If it’s not the person’s desire, it’s not a relationship, it’s just charity.

      When I say charity, I don’t mean dollars in the collection plate. I mean that investment of attention, time, mental energy that one person can put in another.

      I personally feel that it’s ok to be intentional about the amount and nature of charity that a person does. Otherwise, it’s easy to feel like your own needs don’t matter. And if they don’t matter enough to you to invest your energy there, then the only way they get met is by someone else doing charity to you. And it teaches everyone that self-determination is less important than manipulation.

      But this is dependent on knowing yourself and your limits. And then assessing whether or not those limits are helpful in the environment you want for yourself.

      For example, I am an extremely private person. My background is…a little off kilter, and I don’t like to discuss it. But in some areas, I have to be casually social, and that often means answering questions about by background.

      I had to learn how to answer these questions in a way that kept my boundaries secure. When I just answered the questions, I felt badly, because I felt pressured into discussing something I didn’t want to. And either my discomfort was noticable in the group, or I just didn’t want to associate with those people anymore.

      It wasn’t working, so I had to learn how to meet a (legitimate) social expectation in a way that worked for me. I learned how to navigate a conversation so I could better shield the information I want to keep private, while allowing my companion to feel comfortable with me.

      The key thing was for me to be brutally honest with myself. It’s not wrong for anyone to have boundaries, or things they just don’t like or want to do. I think it’s also fine that people have areas of themselves that are totally private, or just shared with close intimates.

      Once I felt this was all right, then I started to think about how best to defend those boundaries.

      I think when people are just learning to do that, they throw up the highest barrier everywhere. That’s why teens can be so secretive from their parents: they are learning how to filter who gets close to them and why. The parents, in a good situation, demonstrate which boundaries are valid and which aren’t (so mom won’t go with the girls to the movies, but may refuse to keep a dangerous secret that the daughter has revealed.)

      Learning to defend your own boundaries is an evolving process. Some boundaries are ok to cross under certain circumstances, or you don’t like it but it’s not that big of a deal, so the penalty might be low. Other boundaries are total deal-breakers, and then you act accordingly. Sometimes that means letting people know ahead of time what your boundaries are.

      For example, a friend of mine is an Orthodox Jewish girl, and in that faith, people of opposite genders don’t touch (unless they are close relatives or married). In this country, shaking hands is a non-intimate, polite greeting, but it was forbidden for her. She had to tell people why she didn’t shake their proffered hand, because otherwise they would not know what the issue was. She didn’t go into any explanation about why she should or shouldn’t have that boundary. She just said her faith directed her not to do that, period. Questions past that got the polite, long stare.

      An acquaintance of mine is a doctor, and I was with him when the topic came on a health related issue. When the person began to cross the casual conversation line into patient interview, the doctor reasserted a boundary. He stated he wasn’t the person’s doctor, and that the question should be directed to the woman’s own provider, and some variation of that response was used for any other question the woman had. He had a hard boundary.

      A final example is from me. I don’t like when people hug/kiss me as a social greeting. It’s just so strange to me, but it’s common enough in my social circle. I don’t tell people I don’t like it, but I typically do a handshake first, and that means the other person doesn’t have a chance to hug me. My boundary has been defended by strategy, not by words. If questioned, I’ll make a joke. More intrusive questions are now a breach of a different boundary (my right to my own body) and that gets a different response.

      So I think it’s good to take some time to know how you want to be treated, and how you want to interact with others. Then think about those boundaries, and what kind of defense they need? Is it low, or high? I have a higher level of defense about my childhood than most people do. My friend has a higher level about her body than I do. Either way, everyone has off limits and low-limit areas.

      Then figure out how you need to defend the off and low limit areas. I feel like once you have the important things covered, you won’t feel breached over the little ones. I think that in a lot of cases when people feel constantly worked over, it’s because they need to reassess their boundaries.

      But not all cases — Evelyn, now this comment is for you. I am so sorry and angry for what happened to you, including the response of your community.

      I believe that you personally should be patient with yourself. I would imagine that your feelings that you can defend your boundaries have been changed by this experience, and I think that’s a normal response. The the body is the fundamental area that a person learns control, and when that’s been breached, it can change a person’s concept of their own boundaries, their control and their trust of others to respect their wishes. That’s also a totally normal response.

      I hope that I am not speaking out of turn, but I think that some of these issues may be best resolved with a counselor who has dealt with survivors of assault, especially with abuses stemming from the church. It’s just a whole lot to unpack, and I don’t think you should have to go it alone.

      • SweetIslandGirl says:

        Please Preach!!!!! I love every word of this! You women have knowledge that is invaluable.

        *taking notes*

        Thank you

    • Melissa Q. says:

      I also suggest a counselor to help you, but you need to remember that if you died today, the world will go on without you. You need to purge these toxic DBR’s of all races from your life. Don’t involve yourself in a ‘community’ that sucks the blood, joy and life out of you. To avoid taking the wounds with you, vet, vet, vet every new person that you meet, and remember that the new people that you meed have nothing to do with those toxic DBR’s. There are some evil, evil people, but there are some great people that I know they would be willing to meed you [Remember that].

      People who punish you for trying to participate in a reciprocal relationship are as Kadijah put it highly functional dysfunctional people. Looking out for you, chasing your goals, being unafraid to chase your dreams and get things done will get you far. Like Evia says, “living well is the best revenge”. I think you will be able to do it, because from reading this you haven’t given up yet. You need to move away from that (physically & mentally), focus on developing and training yourself for a better life.

      Also do you have any hobbies or talents? I know this sounds cliché, but for many people who develop a hobby or talent, it helps calm them and gives them a little sense of purpose and a way to regroup and concentrate on themselves. Also, it is a great way to become more cultured and socialize with new people.

  3. T says:

    When I first read this story, and the verdict the judge handed down, I was like “gee, they are being harsh.” But when you look a bit closer at the nuances, the underlying truths, you get something different. Which you point out here. The people who reside in the district in which Ms. Williams-Bolar sent her daughters pay to have the services they enjoy. We understand that she wanted a better education and a better life for them, but she should have also found a way to pay their tuition costs instead of lying about their address. Instead, her lies found her out, and her girls are not only out of a good school to attend, Ms. Williams-Bolar’s future as a teacher is no longer, and now what is she going to do? Was it worth it? I think not. We sojourners must think through our decisions carefully BEFORE we act; otherwise, we will run the risk of compromising our own futures and fortunes.

  4. Formavitae says:

    This news story is very disappointing to me. I personally wish that she would have received a conviction & punishment that would not have destroyed her opportunity to become a teacher. Yes, she should have “known better”. But, now, the career path she was pursuing is completely “off limits” (at least in Ohio). I think she should have been required to reimburse the school district for services received, instead. This is a sad situation.

    Anyway, your commentary is reminding me of some discussions I’ve had with a friend as of late. She was sharing with me her disappointment in another friend of hers who she felt was very selfish and unrec iprocating in their relationship. (BTW, my friend is Asian, and the friend she’s referring to is Caucasian.) As she was speaking, I understood her perspective, but I told her that she’s most likely dealing with cultural differences. My friend was deeply hurt by the circumstances, and it reminded me how important it is to think of others and how your behavior (or lack thereof) impacts them.

    I make an effort to be reciprocating in relationships. And, I feel bad if I think I may not be doing enough. I myself have noticed how few people actually utilize basic manners and social etiquette these days. Even a simple “Please” and “Thank you” are lacking in social interactions. I now not only say “Thank you” when a person does something helpful for me. I also make a point to say, “I appreciate it.” It’s important to let others know you value them and what they do for you. I’ve even
    been telling my parents the same, for things they normally do for me.

    I agree that BW are going to have to change their paradigm, if they are going to incorporate themselves into the global village. Many people already think we’re “looking for a handout” anyway. So, we must make it clear with our ACTIONS, as well as our words, that we are invaluable and make valuable contributions to society. Furthermore, having gracious behavior makes many people consider you a “pleasure” to be around.

    • mobile68 says:

      I myself have noticed how few people actually utilize basic manners and social etiquette these days. Even a simple “Please” and “Thank you” are lacking in social interactions. I now not only say “Thank you” when a person does something helpful for me. I also make a point to say, “I appreciate it.”

      For me it was shocking to have had people in a professional setting tell me “I’m so glad you called to let me know you’re running late or can’t make it because you don’t get that these days anymore.”
      By the way, I keep that to a bare minimum.
      ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

      [Khadija speaking: Just a note: To close the italics, boldface, and so on, you type left-bracket, then backslash, then “i,” “b,” then right-bracket at the end of the italicized, boldfaced, etc. portion. Otherwise, everything ends up in italics or bold. You’ve been leaving out the backslash for the final set of brackets.]

      • Formavitae says:

        Mobile 68,

        Being a nursing student had made me SOOO much more aware of time and preparation. Others DO appreciate it when you show respect for their time by extending such courtesies.

      • mobile68 says:

        Oh that’s how it’s done. Just when I thought I was doing somethin’. LOL.

        Sorry about that & I will make a note of that. Thanks.
        ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        [Khadija speaking: No problem. It wasn’t until about 2 years ago that I finally learned how to cut, copy and paste text—I was hand-copying quoted material. And it wasn’t until around the end of the previous blog that I finally learned how to do hyperlinks. LOL!]

  5. Truth P. says:

    I appreciate this post because personally I was more concerned with how I,and other black women,could avoid finding ourselves in a similar situation.

    Does anyone else find it odd that there is no mention of the kids father or father’s in any of this?Where is dude? Does he provide any financial support to his children?

    I couldn’t feel sorry for the lady because unfortunately I have been witnessing this kind of stuff up close in person.I have seen women like her having children they know full well they cannot afford to take care of but these women continue to have children.Many of these women are not expecting the father or father’s to provide any support for the children at all but they have no problem expecting the government and anybody else other than the father to help provide for their children.
    It is upsetting.

    The only thing I learned is to postpone having children until my future husband,whoever that is, and I can afford them.

    Oh, and I also learned that since we are still in a recession,that’s only getting worse, it is reasonable for us to expect for the government to crack down on fraud starting with the little guy.Especially if the little guy is black.I don’t know how people could get it in their minds that they can do fraudulent things in a time like this and get away with it.
    Have we not learned from Rangel and Waters?
    Heck even well connected white men have been getting into trouble for fraud these days,.

  6. Formavitae says:

    My message was lost. So much for texting…lol. To complete my thought, I make a point to say, “I appreciate it,” when someone helps or is kind to me. I’ ve even been telling my parents for the things they do on a regular basis. I’m doing this because I care. But, good manners will also help boost the social image of BW.

  7. MsMellody,

    You said, “Changing one’s environment entails changing of deep deep set mindsets and thought processes.”

    THIS is my main point with this post. From various things, I can see that most of the audience members for various BWE blogs have not internalized the core values that various BWE bloggers have been talking about for the past several years.

    Too many of y’all are still looking for Something For Nothing (and in some particularly crazy cases, demanding to be given Something For Nothing). Too many of y’all are still refusing to offer reciprocity to the people who help and support you.

    Those of you who still fit into this non-reciprocating behavior pattern will have a very hard way to go in the real world. Nobody likes a user who constantly takes but never gives anything in return.

    You said, “I know FULL WELL NOW that so VERY VERY much of a woman’s rise and or fall is inextricably related to whom she dates-marries-bears children with- and associates with.

    It’s as clear as day — if Kelly Williams-Bolar had dated and married a successful man she would have more than likely lived a different life..in a better area so that in turn her children would have been going to the better/best school district and she wouldnt be facing the issue of serving time right now -or- losing her teaching eligibility due to becoming a convicted felon!!!

    Wow..this is truly a clear cut case of what you Evia and other enlightened black female bloggers have been teaching/preaching/presenting for years now!!!”

    Indeed.
    _____________________________________________________

    Evelyn,

    You said, “But on the flip side of things, when you try to be the kind of person that gives as much as you’re getting, the same people tend to act like you’re a fool or a butt-kisser. And they’ll go out of their way to hate you and punish you for it.”

    Yet another reason to get FAR away from “typical” AAs who interpret kindness as weakness and an invitation to use/exploit/abuse the kind or generous person.

    You said, “So how do you keep from taking your battle wounds out into the real world, and be a lady without feeling gun-shy or reserved? I can’t be the only BW who’s feeling jaded by experience.”

    By remembering that the real world does NOT operate like the AA prison culture with its constant violence and degradation. Yes, there are some evil individuals running loose in the real world, and one must use common sense caution. However, the level of vigilance that one needs to have while living in a prison is way out of proportion to the level of vigilance that’s needed to navigate the normal, real world.

    The outer, real world is NOT the same as the AA prison yard. And therefore does not require the same level of wariness/vigilance as the AA prison yard.
    _____________________________________________________

    T,

    You said, “When I first read this story, and the verdict the judge handed down, I was like “gee, they are being harsh.” But when you look a bit closer at the nuances, the underlying truths, you get something different. Which you point out here. The people who reside in the district in which Ms. Williams-Bolar sent her daughters pay to have the services they enjoy.”

    Here’s something that any AA who wants to survive and thrive needs to understand: Many of the people who live in that school district (that the thief lied to get her daughter into) have been busting their rear ends to pay their property tax and other expenses of living in a nice area! AAs are the only ones who have the knee-jerk response of feeling sorry for criminals (due to our historical experiences of being burned by unjust laws and a racist court system, a la Scottsboro Boys, etc.). Other people didn’t have that historical experience, and so sympathy for criminals is NOT their knee-jerk response.

    As the economy continues to shrink, the people who have been busting their rear ends to provide a quality life for their loved ones are not going to sympathize with folks like this woman who skated on their hard work. Let me repeat from the post:

    Out in the (non-African-American) real world, most people don’t like chiselers and thieves. So, it’s best not to be one if you want to be welcome among productive social networks. A quality lady is not a chiseler or a thief looking to grab something for nothing.

    Aspiring Sojourners need to understand that when you hypnotically recite the traditional, AA knee-jerk mantra of sympathy and support for criminals, you tend to make yourself UNWELCOME among quality social networks. Because you’re marking yourself as an undesirable who thinks that chiseling and thievery are okay. Normal people and groups DON’T think like that in general.

    Non-AA outsiders (such as the libertarians) who give verbal support to thieves like this woman usually have some sort of ideological axe to grind. They wouldn’t support this woman stealing the benefit of their property taxes. They don’t want this woman or her daughter reaping the benfit of the taxes they paid into their personal school districts. White libertarians verbally support this woman because they want to destroy the unions. They are supporting this woman’s thievery only as a means to an end (destroying unions).
    ____________________________________________________

    Formavitae,

    I don’t care at all about this woman. From my understanding of the case, she had been warned by the authorities, and yet persisted in her scam. Bump her.

    You said, “I agree that BW are going to have to change their paradigm, if they are going to incorporate themselves into the global village. Many people already think we’re “looking for a handout” anyway. So, we must make it clear with our ACTIONS, as well as our words, that we are invaluable and make valuable contributions to society. Furthermore, having gracious behavior makes many people consider you a “pleasure” to be around.”

    THIS is exactly my point!

    Expect Success!

    • geekgrl says:

      “Non-AA outsiders (such as the libertarians) who give verbal support to thieves like this woman usually have some sort of ideological axe to grind. They wouldn’t support this woman stealing the benefit of their property taxes. They don’t want this woman or her daughter reaping the benfit of the taxes they paid into their personal school districts. White libertarians verbally support this woman because they want to destroy the unions. They are supporting this woman’s thievery only as a means to an end (destroying unions).”

      I first heard of this story on January 25th via a libertarian website. Based on some info on WAOD, I don’t think the first site had the whole story. The comments section was mainly filled with different levels of public schools sucks/current education policy sucks.

      I did like this comment though: ‘I’ll care about her when she cares enough about her children to find them a better replacement father. That difference in their lives would almost certainly be much better for them overall than the difference between the schools.’

  8. Oshun/Aphrodite says:

    ((Evelyn))

    @general
    Never heard of this until it was posted. I googled it and it appears that other school districts are taking a cue from this case and are going to crack down on this sort of thing as well. Here’s one in Atlanta: http://blogs.ajc.com/get-schooled-blog/2011/01/28/muscogee-plans-to-prosecute-parents-for-illegal-enrollment/?cxntfid=blogs_get_schooled_blog

    • Oshun/Aphrodite,

      As various government budgets continue to shrink and ultimately collapse, I expect to see increasing numbers of these sorts of prosecutions.

      Expect Success!

    • I hope more counties in Georgia start prosecuting these cases. The political climate in my current county precludes any such thing happening. To put it bluntly, black folk are now in charge and they’re so focused on sticking it to the man that they’re willing to let the whole school system collapse. You’d think with black folk running everything here black kids would do better. They don’t. The administrators are so busy hooking up their relatives and friends with “good jobs,” that the school system in the southern part of the county has been described as something you’d see in South Africa during apartheid. They’ve got 11k empty seats in schools down there while in the northern part we’ve got elementary schools with dozens of portable classrooms. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out there’s some cheating going on. Instead of pursuing that angle and getting the cheaters to return to their own districted schools and doing the work to get them up to speed, they’re rezoning to accommodate the cheaters. More so now than ever I’m pretty sure that the town I live in will probably withdraw from the county school system altogether. And given that we’re one of the more prosperous cities in the county they’re going to seriously miss our tax dollars. Nobody’s going to work as hard as we do to stay in this area, pay the exorbitant taxes, work like all get out in the school, only to have our kids sent to substandard schools.

    • Roslyn,

      You said, “More so now than ever I’m pretty sure that the town I live in will probably withdraw from the county school system altogether. And given that we’re one of the more prosperous cities in the county they’re going to seriously miss our tax dollars. Nobody’s going to work as hard as we do to stay in this area, pay the exorbitant taxes, work like all get out in the school, only to have our kids sent to substandard schools.”

      That’s ultimately what’s going to happen in many similar contexts. The folks who work hard to provide decent lives for their loved ones are NOT going to continue serving as the host bodies for all these parasites like Ms. Williams-Bolar. They’re going to do whatever they must to disconnect lifeblood-sucking leeches like Ms. Williams-Bolar from their necks. The Mexican illegal aliens are starting to find this out.

      Let me mention another angle to this. The childless people who live in good school districts are helping to subsidize good educations for their neighbors’ kids. I, for one, don’t mind that. Because my neighbors with kids are doing their share to keep the overall community nice. However, I don’t want a single penny of my property tax dollars going to a leech like Ms. Williams-Bolar—OR to her spawn. Ms. Williams-Bolar needs to pay her own way and her own child’s way. Or get her child’s father to pay. I don’t want to contribute to anybody like her because a parent like Ms. Williams-Bolar who is unwilling to contribute to her own child’s education is typically also unwilling to discipline her child.

      The only thing a leech like Ms. Williams-Bolar ever accomplishes is bringing an area down. Either directly with her own presence (when trifling individuals like her invade a previously nice area). Or indirectly by shipping her kids into a previously nice and well-functioning school. When enough parasite-parents cheat and send their kids into a previously good school, then that school starts to go down.

      How many times do AAs have to see this play out before we finally stop lying as a collective and start telling the truth? A trifling, shiftless parent who is unwilling to invest into their child’s education makes for low-performing children. A school filled with the spawn of such disinterested, lazy parents makes for a low-performing school. As much as most AAs want to make everybody else responsible for their children’s fate, it all boils down to parental involvement and investment.

      Expect Success!

      • mobile68 says:

        Roslyn Holcomb said:

        Wow! This is what is happening where I currently live. Our property taxes are pretty high as well yet only in a majority black neighborhood stuff like this goes down.

        The suburb I live in is one of the nicest majority black 2-parent neighboorhoods in the Chicagoland area, but the school does not reflect it. Why? The very thing you mentioned in addition, materalistic parents, everybody just want to “pray on it” & waiting to see who is going to come & save their school instead of demanding satisfaction. Then couple that w/ an infuse of kids from the surrounding ghetto suburbs that could go to schools much closer to their homes, but when that blk/white boundry line is drawn, you know those white folk aint having it. The result? my daughter’s high school & district been on academic probation for 4 yrs now.

        I saw this coming when we were looking to buy our 2nd house, but trying to let my soon to be ex-husband make a decision. Come this August, me & my daughter will be renting an apartment in a much better school district. I can suck up the high rent for one more year for her. He can have the house.

        Sound like someone from Chicago came down to ATL to show them how do play politics Chicago-style. LOL!

        • mobile68 says:

          Arggggh! My post was in response to Roslyn Holcomb when she said:

          You’d think with black folk running everything here black kids would do better. They don’t. The administrators are so busy hooking up their relatives and friends with “good jobs,” that the school system in the southern part of the county has been described as something you’d see in South Africa during apartheid.

        • Ms Mellody says:

          Hi Mobile68!!!!!
          Great comment. And I must concur!! Yes then South Suburbs are a total amazement.

          I hope you dont mind that I take this moment to point out one of my MANY TIMES saying this — this issue of GREAT school districts, safe neighborhoods, etc is exactly what single women need to make note of!!
          When it has been OFTEN said here and at other (Evia,CW, Halima etc) –“when you are making these forays into a better life take it upon yourself to RENT a STUDIO -or- a SMALL AFFORDABLE apt in the better to best areas in order to date THE MEN who will MARRY YOU and eventually BUY into that area- or- same/equivalent area!!
          I know that this comment is a little bit off topic – but – it fits into the scenario of a single black woman making BETTER CHOICES.

    • Not guilty says:

      Give me a break. W/families have been doing this for decades. So, now throw the bw in jail because she wants her kids to have a decent education.

      Fix the educational system.

      • Dear Slave Who Supports Theft of Services,

        NO…there won’t be any more “breaks” for you or other slaves who think like you. That’s the message in the prosecution of a scam artist and thief like Ms. Williams-Bolar. These various government budgets are collapsing. And those of us who pay property taxes into these budgets don’t want to carry people like you anymore. Y’all are going to have to learn how to pay your own way in life.

        Furthermore, the problem is not “the educational system.” During previous eras—when AAs still valued education—we managed to learn regardless of the material circumstances. The problem is with lazy, unconcerned AA parents that use the public schools as free babysitting services.

        Finally, anything that you want “fixed,” you’re going to have to fix it yourself. Instead of always looking to somebody else to fix your problems. It’s your choice. You can either fix your own problems, or continue to sink into permanent underclass status while life goes on for everybody else in the US. And while you passively wait for somebody else to fix your problems.

        Good luck with that. Sensible AAs are walking away from folks like you as we speak.

        Good luck and God bless.

        • This mentality drives me insane. No one else is going to “fix” your school system. The primary difference between good schools and bad schools is parental involvement. The parents at my son’s school are so motivated I wonder at times if we enrolled in an elementary school or joined a cult. I’m in that school on a weekly basis so I can see for myself what is going on. I was my son’s first teacher, so I know what he’s capable of, and the best ways to teach him. I sit down with his teacher and we strategize about what works with him. When something comes up, like this redistricting mess I’m at the meetings, sending emails, making phone calls so my voice is heard loud and clear. That’s how you build a school. And no, it’s not easy. It’s time-consuming and a pain especially for a notorious introvert like me, but if you truly want a school that’s what it takes.

        • Hodan says:

          lmfo, great response. It reminds me when my mother would say to us ‘don’t be slave minded’ whenever we wanted to use an excuse for our bad marks. Indeed, it takes everyone to fix the system, instead of baiting and abetting those who have no intention other than to swindle it because gosh darn it white people did it too.

  9. Truth P. says:

    Those of you who still fit into this non-reciprocating behavior pattern will have a very hard way to go in the real world. Nobody likes a user who constantly takes but never gives anything in return.

    This is something I’m working on.I don’t expect something for nothing but sometimes I am given something and I have nothing to give in return.I’m still working to get into college so hopefully my situation will get better soon.I very much so plan on being a blessing to others as they have been to me.
    I have also felt sorry for the fact that I had nothing to contribute to some of the conversations here at SP.I’m definitely
    “digging deeper” so that I will have more to add.
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: Please read the comments section to Joining Better Networks, Part 1. A young commenter (if I remember correctly, it was Revolutionary And Joyful) raised the same “but what if I feel like I don’t have anything to contribute in reciprocity” question. Roslyn gave a wonderful answer to that question. There’s always some sort of reciprocating contribution that a person can make, if they put their mind to it.]

  10. Ali says:

    This is so interesting, and the topic is really on my mind these days. I’d love to get the advice of Khadija, and other ladies on the board. Maybe this is off topic, I don’t know -It’s a pretty personal question. How does one avoid looking like a beggar when THAT’S BASICALLY WHAT YOU ARE?

    Let me explain – I have the opportunity to attend a major networking event in a couple of months. These are all Fortune 500 type corporate power players who could be very helpful for the next phase of my career, which has to do with marketing. There will be people there who, if they so choose, could recommend me to other powerful people, provide wealthy clients, etc.

    Basically, this is a network I would love to join.

    But I don’t have anything (yet) to offer them. I have a lot of ideas, but I’m ‘unproven’. I am transitioning from my current field to their world. So automatically I will be approaching them as a kind of beggar. Plus I am a young black woman, and these will be mostly wall street type white guys. In a purely social situation, where everybody’s hanging out, pass the chips, no problem. White guys don’t faze me. But in a SERIOUS work situation that adds an extra layer of distance, because I’m not at that ‘level’, and my fiancé won’t be there to help me. (I notice when he’s with me, it seems to make other wm instantly comfortable chatting me up, even if there’s no romantic interest on their part.) But he’ll be out of town.

    I don’t want to perpetuate the ‘I’m black now gimmie something for nothing’ stereotype. But realistically, I love for one of these guys to take a big chance and bring me over to consult for them. I would love to even score a meeting. But why should they? What’s in it for them? They wold be doing me a huge favor – why should they?

    Any advice whatsoever? I wish I didn’t have to go by myself! ☹
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: Please read the comments section to Joining Better Networks, Part 1. A young commenter (if I remember correctly, it was Revolutionary And Joyful) raised the same “but what if I feel like I don’t have anything to contribute in reciprocity” question. Roslyn gave a wonderful answer to that question. There’s always some sort of reciprocating contribution that a person can make, if they put their mind to it.]

  11. Formavitae says:

    (Here’s a small contextual preface for my commentary): I am a black American female born to a working class married couple (now divorced) who lived/lives in “the hood” (now “slightly” tinged with gentrification). My parents had the “good” factory jobs (that now no longer exist). But, my parents (particularly my mother) worked hard and forfeited luxuries like new cars, name brand apparel, etc. to send me to private school in the suburbs. I was never raised on welfare. My first school had a MAXIMUM of 8 students of color at one time, out of a few hundred. I grew up seeing the difference between the lives of my peers at school and those of many of the poorer people who lived in my area. Not to mention the hardships I faced socially. Anyway, 2 major developments occurred in me. 1) I never developed a “hood” mentality or mindset. 1) I “felt sorry” for the poor blacks in my area who didn’t have the privileges of my school friends or myself.

    It wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school that my mother allowed me to attend a college-prep public school. (I BEGGED her, because I wanted to go to school with black kids a SO BADLY–even though the school probably had an equal mix of blacks and whites, it was black for me–LOL!.) I learned SO MUCH about black Americans during that time period (not good). But, one thing that was surprisingly odd for me was the level of distrust and negative thinking they had. My mom and I went to the dollar store, and I bought a girl I befriended a $2 teddy bear. I gave it to her, and she liked it. But, she later told me another friend of hers said she thought I was trying to “buy friendship”. And, the girl I bought the bear for wondered the same thing. I had never heard anything like that before in my life. At my former schools, people gave their friends gifts all the time–BECAUSE THEY WERE FRIENDS! Over time, I learned to be less “open”, giving, and affectionate (you must be “gay”). I’m actually very sad about that, because I still have some apprehension years later. I said all of this just to concur with the observation that blacks don’t trust kindness. And, they WILL try to take advantage of you, if you are a kind-hearted person. Several have been very unkind to me (including family). These experiences help me realize the importance of raising my kids in a different environment.

    I also wanted to say that the choice this woman made never would have occurred to me, because I saw my mk other WORK HARD to send me to better schools. So, my inclination is to do the same (though not all blacks with some measure of privilege would think this way). I work hard to make good choices in life, so that I may be a good example to my children (when I have them) and to anyone else willing to pay attention.

    • Melissa Q. says:

      My mom and I went to the dollar store, and I bought a girl I befriended a $2 teddy bear. I gave it to her, and she liked it. But, she later told me another friend of hers said she thought I was trying to “buy friendship”. And, the girl I bought the bear for wondered the same thing. I had never heard anything like that before in my life. At my former schools, people gave their friends gifts all the time–BECAUSE THEY WERE FRIENDS! Over time, I learned to be less “open”, giving, and affectionate (you must be “gay”).

      I’ve seen this behavior many times. Many people feel that if you help another person you are ‘butt-kissing’ or trying to gain special favors. The idea that you could be kind for the sake of being kind was impossible.

      On the opposite end of the spectrum people approach other s with a beggar-mentality, that you have to like/help me because we have the same race.

      I do not see other groups doing this, even foreign blacks. Heck, they would refuses to help someone sharing the same ethnic/family background if they did not or were not planning in the future to reciprocate benefits or were dragging the group down with nonsense. I’ve heard of parents disown their children for not helping the group or ‘bringing down’ the family. They do not cosign to the ‘something for nothing policy’ and expect reciprocal relationship.

      • formavitae says:

        I know, Melissa. American Blacks don’t believe in accountability. There was a time when it was necessary for blacks to “pull” others up and ahead. But, now, people have just taken that to an extreme, sit on their butts, and don’t even TRY to walk on their own. Frankly, I’m exhausted with the whole situation. I care about AAs and love them. But, when I think about being linked to them and trying to “help” them, I can only see myself being pulled into a dark whole. I’ll be happy when I find my husband and get married. Standing together, he can help me avoid being “toppled over” and “yanked into the abyss”.

  12. Ms Mellody says:

    Khadija – you said; “By remembering that the real world does NOT operate like the AA prison culture with its constant violence and degradation. Yes, there are some evil individuals running loose in the real world, and one must use common sense caution. However, the level of vigilance that one needs to have while living in a prison is way out of proportion to the level of vigilance that’s needed to navigate the normal, real world.”

    Khadija this so on point!! This is the EXACT answer that Evelyn and the rest of US here at your blog need and needed to be reminded of. And this Kelly Williams-Bolar issue is yet ANOTHER glaring light on this issue of reciprocity.

    You summed this up completely!!! In the AA prison communities – people dont look out for each other -save for a few blocks here and there..people dont make sure that their neighborhoods are clean, well manicured, and most of all –that people are held ACCOUNTABLE for the trash both inside and outside the home. Trash like activities ( holdin’ the corner down, letting your cousin from prison/jail stay at your house until “he gets back on his feet” ) are NOT tolerated in non-AA prison communities. People stop and speak and talk to each other..people KNOW their neighbors and the neighbor’s kids ( and stand-offishness is not tolerated and if known it is well noted) And non-AA communities actually HAVE/PLAN/and ATTEND community meetings at the local civic center/gymnasium etc.

    Issues of civic government, rules, regulations are OPEN for PUBLIC FORUM discussions, voted upon etc.

    So in short, those non AA communities invest TIME/ENERGY/EFFORT in their continued growth, financial liquidity, financial foundation and they are NOT in any way going to just sit idly by and continue to turn the old blind eye to activities like noted in this issue.

    So Evelyn, and other readers one of the most key ways to give back and practice reciprocity is to GET INVOLVED in the global communities you will move to. Attend and voice well researched concerns at public issues forums, research on this little thing called the internet your suburb or districts form of community government. If your suburb is run by a “city manager” research and find your community’s website, and research what’s new in your community. Get involved in the next “apple patch pumpkin selling” drive or whatever, sign some petitions, get out and go door to door ( it’s always a hoot to see the facial reactions of your neighbors when they see a chocolate face talking about what’s going on down at “city hall”, the next vote on the cul-de-sac mailbox size regulations etc !! lol)

    Just get involved, be apart of your community, show people that you are just like them. You recognize the value of a strong community, show others that you TOO uphold strong community values!!

    • Formavitae says:

      Ms. Mellody,

      I’ ve seen, firsthand, the conflict that occurs between black American generational welfare classes and working individuals who own property. I once worked for an organization that was based in a poor area that had many renters on welfare (fatherless children, males in jail, some gang activity, “whole nine yards”). There was this white Christian family who lived in the neighborhood. They had small children. I’m not certain whether the mom worked, but the dad did. However, the father was very involved with his family and the neighborhood children also. I often saw him outside playing with the young black boys (who were lacking fathers and male role models). They were a really sweet family. One day, I learned they were planning to move because their children were getting older, and they wanted a different environment for them. As I was leaving work once, I saw the mom having a disagreement with one of the other welfare moms (and getting “chewed out” in the process). From what I was able to observe, it was related to her repeated requests for the kids to stop running across her yard, which were going unheeded. It looked like the other mom was ready to fight her. I realized at that point how people who don’t own property and those whose families may have NEVER owned property don’t understand the concept of “property rights”. To them, “everything” is open and available for their usage. I didn’t get into it because I didn’t want to deal with it (and because of the fact that though I am a black woman, I AM NOT A MAN–LOL!). I never saw what became of that family, after that. I’m sure they “got the heck out of Dodge”. Losing them as residents is a MAJOR loss for that community. That family was open to living and working together with the community and being involved with the children. Oh well. I guess they WERE just “white folks”. (LOL) That type of hostility in behavior and language is going to make other people want to be certain to EXCLUDE black Americans from their neighborhood and environment any way they can. It’s SO IMPERATIVE that black women who want a good life and opportunities don’t pick up these mindsets, manners, and behavior. It can be hard to resist, because you feel pressured to become that way just to “survive”. But, it must be avoided at all costs. I realize how this environment makes me feel the need to be less “feminine”. But, I’m fighting back because I want to take my rightful place among the adored and protected women of the global village. (And, fortunately, I will DEFINITELY be a property owner, due to inheritance. And, so will my children.)

  13. joyousnerd says:

    At first blush when I read this woman’s story, I felt sorry for her because the photograph of her devastated face resonated with me emotionally. I felt that the court was 100% correct to ask for financial recompense, but the felony conviction making her ineligible for teacher certification was excessively harsh in my opinion.

    After learning more about the story, though, I’m amazed by how brazen this woman was! She knew she was violating the law by sending her daughters to that school. When they confronted her, she persisted and even got stank with them! This is what made them get extra punitive in my opinion.

    From what I understand, the children’s father lived in the district (but could not be bothered to have his kids living with him). Then I hear the grandfather lived there as well. Could she not have pooled her resources with the grandfather and gotten the kids into the district legally?

    I know that lots of white families sneak into good districts (which is the first thing so many AA say when an AA gets busted doing anything… sounds just like my 3 year old “She did it too!” SMDH) but most people from functioning groups scrimp and save, work 2 jobs etc to get into a good school district. People move mountains to make the sacrifices for their kids, of course they won’t take kindly to people who sneak.

    To me this issue is like the illegal immigration one. All this push to say “undocumented” or whatever is meant to whitewash the reality that these illegals are STEALING from the rest of us who pay taxes. Yes, they pay sales tax, but not most other taxes that rely on taxable income and home ownership. They steal an education, emergency health care, police services, and use of our roads, libraries (as free daycares)and other benefits meant for taxpayers. Then they have the gall to complain about the quality of the free goodies they stole!

    Likewise, when AA people steal services they are breaking the law and raising the ire of those who do pay. It takes a lot of gall to complain about being punished for stealing.

    • JoyousNerd,

      You said, “At first blush when I read this woman’s story, I felt sorry for her because the photograph of her devastated face resonated with me emotionally.

      . . . After learning more about the story, though, I’m amazed by how brazen this woman was! She knew she was violating the law by sending her daughters to that school. When they confronted her, she persisted and even got stank with them! This is what made them get extra punitive in my opinion.”

      I’ll say it the blunt way: AA slaves need to get back in touch with reality. And realize that when they get ‘stank’ with government officials, then these officials become inclined to get ‘stank’ with them. With the FULL force of a sovereign government and its laws backing them up.

      I must admit that I laughed out loud when I saw Ms. Williams-Bolar’s (now) pitiful-looking picture. Because in the past, I spent many years representing arrogant fools like her—so I know how fools like her behave. Petty AA lawbreakers like her are usually profoundly arrogant in their stupidity. Nobody can tell them anything. Including the people who are trying to warn them about the possible consequences of their actions. They arrogantly dismiss all the warnings they’re given, but then want to cry crocodile tears and look shocked and pitiful when the consequences they were warned about finally catch up to them.

      The other reason I laughed when I saw her picture is because I can’t stand fools who sell “wolf tickets.” If you’re bold and bad enough to show your a** to government officials, then STAY bold and bad when they kick you in the same buttocks that you dared them to kick! Take the lumps you brought down on yourself like a grown woman/man. Don’t be a crybaby-punk who talks tough with a stank attitude, but isn’t tough enough to take the consequences of all that tough talk. I have more respect for the criminal who says, “I played a rough game. I gambled. I lost. Them’s the breaks.”

      Like I said earlier, as far as I’m concerned, bump her…

      Expect Success!

  14. Palmwater says:

    I’m not 100% familiar with this case. However, it’s interesting the amount of effort Ms. Bolar put into falsifying documents, compared to searching for a safe and affordable place in the school district she wanted her children to attend. Imagine if she had put that same amount of energy in legitimate efforts, none of this would have happened.

    There seems to be this pattern amongst Black people (it’s not just AA, I know Africans and Caribbeans who do this too) to put a lot of effort into the wrong endeavours, illegal, trying to get money from the government, and even trying to get sympathy for criminals. Now if many of those same people put those efforts into creating stable family units, and economic prosperity, many Blacks would be better off.

    Here in Toronto every year there seems to be a march for a black male victim of crime. Often times these young victims are criminals or hang out with criminals who reck havoc on black residential areas. You always see black women at these marches and even the newly anti-crime activist mother, talking about how the government needs to do more. Yet all the effort this mother puts into anti-crime activist work, makes me wonder why she didn’t use her efforts to move her son away from other criminals and into a good school and neighbourhood when he was alive.

    This same pattern plays out almost every year in Toronto and I just shake my head. Wasted efforts on criminals instead of building the proper social and economic infrastructure.

    • Formavitae says:

      Palmwater,

      I, too, agree with your observation. Blacks DO NOT believe in building their own infrastructure. That’s why they’ll never be collectively successful. That’s also why I’m marrying a man from a community that believes in the value of establishing infrastructure and DOES SO.

    • SweetIslandGirl says:

      I live in Toronto, and I think the exact same thing when I turn on the news and see these types of marches. Its harsh but I dont feel empathy for these mothers whose sons, in many cases had a rap sheet or were well known in the area as frequent loiters. I wonder why these women didnt move out of that bad area when their children were very young instead of staying till their children m became teenages and rebellious.

      My mother used to live in a bad area with me when I was very young. When she seperated from my father, we began to outgrow the one bedroom apartment we shared so she decided to move to this area in hopes that it would be temporary till she could save money and get on her feet. Temporary turned into 6 long years where she felt scared for our lives. When she talked about leaving the DBR women who sat around all day would openly ridicule the idea or passively discourage her by pointing out how expensive it was “out there” and it would be hard on her with a little girl. Meanwhile there were drive by shootings all the time, gunshots every night, ETF coming almost on a weekly basis and drug dealers who openly shot at each other even when children were around.

      She didnt give up till she found a “expensive” apartment outside the area and moved us out. These same people who discouraged her, would you have it, secretly plotted and moved (then invited her over to see the new house of course) and all the while pretended like they didnt think it was possible to ever leave. Classic crabs in a barrel mentality. The benefit to me was I went to the best elementary school in the area and eventually ended up at a academically renowned highschool where I graduated and went onto university.

      Anything is possible when you put your mind to it. Often times when people are putting down your idea to better yourself is because they dont feel like they possess the courage, resources and motivation to do the same. They have accepted the situation as it is and have given up on their own redemption so now they looking for company in their misery.

      Since we moved away from that bad area before I turned into a teenager and became prey for those DBR vultures I escaped the negativity and got to experience new things, and be exposed to opportunities that I never would have had I stayed at that elementary school and gone to a local high school (one inparticular that everyone sent their daughters to had a high pregancy rate).I got to see first hand how my mother’s determination to have better for me (better schools, area, people) paid off. Who knows what would have happened had we stayed.

      • SweetIslandGirl,

        I praise God that your mother got you out of that bad area; and into a better environment.

        You said, “These same people who discouraged her, would you have it, secretly plotted and moved (then invited her over to see the new house of course) and all the while pretended like they didnt think it was possible to ever leave. Classic crabs in a barrel mentality.”

        {seething}That kind of spiteful sabotage is why I can’t stand crabs in a barrel, and have ZERO patience with that type of behavior. If the crabs sincerely believed that Action/Option X was impossible for somebody else, then they wouldn’t feel the need to try to sabotage that person. Hmmph!

        Expect Success!

        • SweetIslandGirl says:

          Amen Khadija and thank you! I look at my mom with a lot of respect for having the courage to do that. I’ll tell you a interesting note about one of those crabs who secretly up and left the community. This particular woman in mind moved north of Toronto into a then up and coming area (its now a affluent suburb with high property taxes and really good schools)used to pretend like she didnt know my mother when she’d come back down to the area to shop for ethnic groceries. It wasnt till her disabled son died of natural causes that she suddenly acknowledged mother existed.

          I dont understand it.

          I want better for myself, for my future children and my family. One thing that you wonderful ladies have touched on here (Thank God I found this site) is to recognize DBR men in your own family. I’ve now identified my father as being such. The “ah ha” moment for me was when he went on a tangent about women’s battered statistics not showing how women are not the only victims of battery; men were just as much victims. I was shocked and it was then that I realized it. I tuned him out and have been doing so whenever he says venomous things.

          I am now applying that to other family members in my life as well.

          Khadija, please dont stop these discussions or close this site. Its critical to get this information out so we can navigate the tricky waters with our eyes open and actively make the right choices to achieve a peaceful, successful life, and successfully vet the men who come into it.

          God’s Blessing on you and the women on this website.
          +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          [Khadija speaking: You’re welcome, and may God bless you! :-)]

      • palmwater says:

        My family was in the same situation! When I was young we lived in an all black area, that had too many criminals and criminal enablers living there. When my parents realized that the environment was not conducive to raising smart, well adjusted children.

        My parents weren’t going to wait for their daughters to get raped, shot or end up like many of the young black women in that area. They moved us out STAT! We moved to a more expensive location, but my grades improved and I was exposed to a diverse group of people. I’m thankful that I spent my most crucial years (teenage) in a diverse area. I thank God everyday that my parents got us out of there.

        I’m glad your mother did the same!

  15. KimP says:

    From my understanding, the father lived in the district she scammed. Why in the world couldn’t they work out an arrangement for the children to live with their father as opposed to lying and beating the system.

    It’s important to earn your keep, people may not like you, but they’ll respect you for it. The ‘hook-up’ mindset has set back so many AA’s.

  16. shocol says:

    I did feel some sympathy for this woman. Then I read deeper into the comment section and it seems she is quite adept at defrauding taxpayer dollars, if what I read is true. I can see that I’m going to have to apply the same standard that I apply to BM, which is to wait, just wait, for the other shoe to drop, so that I get a more complete picture.

    Still, even before reading more of the comments, it was a little off-putting to read that she was going to be a teacher. I would think that situations like hers, left unchecked, would definitely affect the quality of her experience as a teacher. So why do something like that?

  17. Sisterlocgirl says:

    The amount of time and effort that some black folks will invest in doing the wrong thing simply boggles my mind. I do not understand why vast portions of the aa community do not think the rules don’t apply to them. I’m showing my age here, but I was brought up to think I had to perform above and beyond the minimums for non-aa people because the ” powers that be ” would be looking for any reason to deny me props for my accomplishments. This belief that you had to work harder to be sure you measured up has been replaced with the welfare mentality. After looking at the entire story of this woman I 100% cosign with her getting her ” gangsta ” props and all the ” perks ” that go along with her hoodrat mentality. In my experience it takes far less effort to do the right thing than trying to negro-rig situations. What really burns my britches with this situation is how again this reinforces a negative image of black women. Like it or not our individual behavior colors how the world at large perceives all of us. I wish more aa women would wake up to this simple fact and start acting accordingly.

    • Sisterlocgirl,

      I 100% cosign. And what you said reminded me of another angle about silly AA slaves (and others) who want to “get stank” when dealing with government officials, and then are shocked when they reap the consequences.

      I started off as a prosecutor. Not everybody in a DA’s office is racist or crazy. Wonder of wonders—there are a handful of reasonable people who work in those offices. People who would prefer to be reasonable, and dispense whatever is actually fair and just for each case they deal with. I was one such individual; and I got a certain amount of static from my supervisors because I wasn’t trying to exact the most harsh penalty possible in every single case.

      What AA slaves need to understand is that when they show their rear ends to government officials (who then become complaining witnesses for the prosecution), they make it impossible for the courtroom-level prosecutor to cut them any slack at all.

      Using this type of situation as an example, a courtroom-level, worker bee prosecutor like I was might be inclined to let this woman slide with a misdemeanor charge and a fine only. But that’s no longer an option for the worker bee, courtroom level prosecutor when such a woman has already cursed out the courtroom level prosecutor’s supervisor and/or the complaining school officials. By choosing to get ‘stank’ with the government officials involved, a person makes herself a special project. A special project that can’t be ignored or given any slack without negative consequences to one’s own career.

      [I’m not saying that cursing folks out is what Ms. Williams-Bolar did. I don’t know precisely what degree of ‘stank’ she got with the officials. What I’m saying is that it’s better to be as polite as possible, even when you disagree with a government official. There are ways of saying and doing things that don’t automatically make you into a special project.]

      All of this gets back to common sense. Showing one’s buttocks should not be the first option chosen, much less a knee-jerk reaction when dealing with anybody, much less when dealing with the government. Most un-rich people can’t withstand the negative reactions they invite by engaging in ‘stank’ behaviors with government officials.

      Expect Success!

      • tertiaryanna says:

        A special project that can’t be ignored or given any slack without negative consequences to one’s own career.

        This. This right here. Because what happens is the person has drawn so much attention to themselves that their issue can’t be resolved quietly. And they can’t get off lightly, because it reinforces the idea that bad behavior can be rewarded.

        Plus, why should an employee risk their neck for someone who is already trying to bite them? I’m wondering if the prosecution just played it by the book, so no special punishment, just the true legal punishment associated with her actions.

        When people get difficult, it backs the employee into a corner, and now someone HAS to fix it, for good. Even if the person is in the right, they’ve paved a rocky path. But when they’re in the wrong, then it just invites the avalanche.
        +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        [Khadija speaking: Exactly. A lot of foolish people—like Ms. Williams-Bolar and her father—do things in such a manner that they FORCE a prosecutor’s office to do something about them—and to make an example of them.]

      • Ms Mellody says:

        Khadija said; “Most un-rich people can’t withstand the negative reactions they invite by engaging in ‘stank’ behaviors with government officials.”

        Khadija you are so right about this!!!! Most un-rich folks have no way of understanding the negative reactions they invite because being un-rich involves a lot of activities with some rather “course” people/places and things. So in return un-rich people are accustomed to being “course” “rough” and “vulgar”.

        And let me be clear – “un-rich” entails a whole plethora of categories. For example – my parents may not have been rich-money but they valued and prized education/working hard/doing right by people..having a sense of decorum wherever you went. So in the “graces” of life they were definitely rich.

        And sadly I will have to show my age too (lol)..I have been convinced through various readings and experiences that this idea of social graces has NOT been taught to several generations of AAs. Sad – but to those who want to know and do better they will definitely find a way.
        +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

        [Khadija speaking: I know exactly what you mean. My parents and grandparents grew up poor in terms of material things, but rich in terms of social graces, a loving and lovable family life, and a civilized, gracious lifestyle.]

    • Oshun/Aphrodite says:

      “I’m showing my age here, but I was brought up to think I had to perform above and beyond the minimums for non-aa people because the ” powers that be ” would be looking for any reason to deny me props for my accomplishments.”

      Not showing age. This saying is ageless. I heard this too – a lot.

  18. Along with the “entitlement” mindset, I’m also bothered by the notion that being productive and actively DESIRING to PRODUCE rather than consume (as a part of giving and taking within a healthy social network) is something negative.

    I was bullied incessantly in school (by those of my demographic only!)for wanting to work hard on school projects, for wanting produce papers and presentations to show my grasp of information, for wanting to produce something of quality (homework, art, a meal, etc.).

    I never felt I was “owed” anything for just showing up to class. I wanted knowledge. I was willing to work to have it.

    I was seen as a “push-over” because I couldn’t “hustle”.

    I wasn’t cool enough for a “hook-up”.

    I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to hustle.

    I wanted to work (smart).

    That made me an even greater target.

    The “produce rather than consume” mindset is part of American culture at large, but is most detrimental to those who are not on the top tier of America’s racialized resource structure.

    • Formavitae says:

      I agree. (That’s a lovely image BTW.) Blacks believe in “bare minimum” objectives. The only purpose for pursuing “extra” is to give it away to those doing nothing at all. Education serves no purpose if it’s not for getting a job, raise, etc. Forget about the power and other benefits education provides. Keep it up, girl! I’m proud of you.

    • T says:

      I totally understand you on this. I too was the target of bullies who could not understand why I put extra effort into things. They called me “suck-up” and “brown-noser” for giving that extra to make my projects stand out. They simply did not see the point or purpose in putting one’s best foot forward. When it was time to prepare for graduation, I chuckled to myself watching some of them beg and barter for a passing grade in order to graduate, while I was busy purchasing my graduation regalia, finalizing my college plans, and completing financial aid paperwork. I say that to say this: nothing beats other people’s jealousy and hateration like success and preparation.

  19. Don’t get me started on Ms. Bolar-Williams. I’m so angry that people are supporting this woman I could scream. I mean, what about those of us who work to live in the districts with good schools, but get pushed out by cheaters and thieves like her. I really hate that black people have allowed ourselves to be identified with criminality. It’s not only a bad look, it’s downright dangerous.

    Anyway, I do have an interesting situation to share. One of my son’s classmate’s mom who I only know from being in the parent group started a new job. She’s working at the preschool at the church up the street. She’s allowed to have her children come to her job after school, but she’s not allowed to leave to pick them. Since I pick my son up every afternoon and drive right past the church on my way home I volunteered to pick them up and bring them to her. I didn’t think anything of it, really, it wasn’t like I’d be going out of my way or anything. We only did it for a week or so, and then her schedule changed so she could do the pickup. Well, she thought this was the greatest thing in the world, even offered to pay. (I was like, for what? I’m not going out of my way.) Anyway, when I was put on bedrest she started picking my son up in the afternoons and bringing him home for me. And one day when I was too sick to drive myself to the doctor she volunteered to take me.

  20. lafemenoir says:

    How to avoid looking like a beggar when you are..?

    I have a friend who is of lesser means, but she always manages to get what she needs because she is always bartering for what she gets and keeps a VERY diverse circle of friends(racially and socioeconomically), and is always networking. Even people of lesser means have something to offer, it’s just that most people who are begging either don’t realize their talents/resources or have that “free ride” mentality.

    Speaking of free-ride, is it fair to “steal” an education?

    Absolutely not! I have lived in a very affluent neighborhood for nearly 20 years, because that is where I wanted to live and that is where I wanted to send my child(ren) to school. I couldn’t afford to buy a home in the area, so I did the next best thing, I rented. I will never be ashamed that I did. My child(ren) were able to go to school in the area and get one of the best educations money can buy. I could have afforded to buy in a less affluent area with decent schools, but I decided against that. I wanted the best, and I was willing to pay for it. The area that I live(ed) in did annual residency checks/certifications because they had encountered parents from surrounding areas using a friends address to send their child to school in the district. Once, I even had a random stranger ring my doorbell at about 8pm one night asking for another person and then excusing herself for making an “error”. I later saw her at one of the school board committee meetings, by the look on her face, she was surprised to see me there, but she forced herself to smile at me, and I returned the smile in kind.

    Since, at the time, I worked in the area, I would frequently volunteer for activities and events at the school. I helped with distribution on Market Day (monthly) and was one of the coordiantors for the Halloween festivities annually for many years. I would also volunteer for one-off events as well.

    I think that people who support her also probably think that she was “sticking it to the man” for doing what she did. The black power movement really did create a new form of beggars, didn’t it? People perpetually looking to “stick it to the man,” whoever he is…

    This incident makes me reflect back on my teaching experience…

    My teaching experience was eye-opening, in many ways. Truly it was.

    One of the things that I didn’t like as a teacher is that “gimme” attitude that most of the children and their parents had. They didn’t want to work for it and would do everything in their power to avoid work. The parents were implicit in this behavior and often openly encouraged it. I once had a child and their parent tell me that it didn’t matter that they had failed because his ISAT scores would be sufficient for them to move on to the next grade after attending/completing 10 weeks of summer school. The child had sat there for the entire school year and done NOTHING (F’s every quarter)and the administration (school district) allowed it. Initially, I though that there was something wrong with him so I requested an evaluation (which by the way didn’t happen until the last week of the school year). The school psych and social worker laughed and said that his family (several generations had passed through the school) were all “like that” and for me to basiclly ignore his behavior. There are other examples, but this is the mildest. It was while working at my 2nd school in a different area, that I discovered that most black people, administrators and other teachers included, were deranged. How else could you function in that kind of muck, and believe me there was plenty of muck, and “keep your wits about you”? In order to function in these kind of environments, you would have to be insane or on your way to it. I kept trying to understand it, but you can’t rationalize the irrational.

    I once had a teacher coworker ask me where I went to school. It wasn’t because she as interested in me, it was because there was something “different” about me, she said. I didn’t get angry at her remark. In all actuality it just confirmed what I had been thinking for the past few years- there are 2 groups of black people and one group is far larger than the other. With black friends and family members (yes, I have non-black family members. AA men **marrying** non-black women), I would jokingly refer to the “lesser” group as african americans and the “superior” group as black people. I would often tease certain people in my family with the fact that they were AA and not black, I don’t say it jokingly anymore…

    Also, I came to the realization that although one may have the same lineage as another person, it does not guarantee that they belong to the same sect of diaspora blacks. Meaning, just because someone is my sibling/cousin/uncle/etc., it does not guarantee that they will be categorized as black, for the most part, they would could considered AA. I think I mentioned before for Khadija’s “tune-out week”, many family members were the subject of my “tune-out”, right? Sounds cold, but it is necessary, in my opinion. Most of the males in the family already know what I think about BM ( I actually, very recently, had a family member that I USED to respect ask me to introduce him to a white female friend of mine. This further confirmed my beliefs) I find that with the tune-out, life is a lot simpler than it was before I began ignoring them. They still try to reach out to me via social media (FB, e-mail or text) but their attempts fall on deaf ears. (Khadija, this is my third “aha” moment since I started visiting your/reading your book site last summer). The first, allowing myself to acknowledge the obvious- I did not belong in a helping career- it wasn’t helping my career. The second, develop additional revenue streams ( I started my own company this fall/winter and have clients-plural **smiles**) and third, realizing that there were hangers-on and *giving myself permission* to dust them off and keep moving, without “black guilt” (the jews think they have it bad with the “community” guilt trip-oy vey! black women have it far worse).

    Khadija, I wish you all the best and continued success!!!
    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: Thanks—and the same good wishes back at’cha! :-)]

  21. CGR says:

    Honestly Khadija when I first read your view on the case I thought wow, that’s harsh. But looking into what happened from all sides I understand your point of view clearly.

    I have a new construction house and the ONLY reason we built in this area was because of the reputation of the schools. The schools were reported to be (on a scale of 1 to 10), they are a 10.

    I am here to tell you that my property taxes (school taxes) are VERY HIGH, because of the better schools.

    I don’t know why I didn’t see it as the mother was stealing or taking something away that she had not paid for or earned. But I understand that now. And honestly I don’t want to be mean but if I hear of someone sending their children to my child’s school and they live out of the district I would be upset now.

    Also I personally know of many AA’s, some in my own family, that are really into jumping into networks that they have never invested in financially, physically or otherwise. But they want the hook-up. There is very little, if any reciprocation. It’s almost embarrassing for me to watch. I need to send them this link. LOL

    Thanks

  22. lunanoire says:

    Khadija,

    This is similar to my response to super-strict (usually fundamentalist or immigrant) black parents who live in black communities in the U.S. and do not permit their children to do anything besides attend school, study and religious services.

    On a more practical matter, what do you suggest people do to get their kids in a great school district? I haven’t read the posts, which may contain several answers, but don’t many upper class communities often have zoning restrictions so that there are no apartments and limits as to the number of unrelated people who can live together (to prevent folks from doubling up and to discourage rowdy young people)?

    • Lunanoire,

      You said, “On a more practical matter, what do you suggest people do to get their kids in a great school district? I haven’t read the posts, which may contain several answers, but don’t many upper class communities often have zoning restrictions so that there are no apartments and limits as to the number of unrelated people who can live together (to prevent folks from doubling up and to discourage rowdy young people)?”

      About the no-apartment zoning restrictions—let’s not extrapolate to the highest 1% scenario. That no-apartment zoning is rather unusual. Let’s not pretend like it’s common. There are plenty of apartments for rent in decent-to-very nice areas that have decent-to-very good schools.

      [I’m not saying that you’re engaging in this sort of pretense. But I find that AAs are often totally dishonest about the existence of other practical options during these sorts of conversations. Meanwhile, Mexicans and foreign-origin Blacks are busy taking full advantage of all the practical options that do exist.]

      I would suggest that folks either:

      (1) rent an apartment in the nicest area with the best schools that they can afford to live in, or

      (2) get a 2nd job and some other extra income streams to scrape up the money for a decent private school.

      This is what we see many nonwhite immigrants doing all around us…while many AAs act like we can’t figure out what to do…

      Expect Success!

      • lunanoire says:

        Thank you for your response. As a person in an earlier stage of life, I have heard from urban planners that many young adults who grew up in or adjacent to major cities cannot afford to live in the neighborhoods where they grew up, but perhaps that statement refers to home ownership instead of renting.

  23. CGR,

    You said, “Honestly Khadija when I first read your view on the case I thought wow, that’s harsh. But looking into what happened from all sides I understand your point of view clearly.

    I have a new construction house and the ONLY reason we built in this area was because of the reputation of the schools. The schools were reported to be (on a scale of 1 to 10), they are a 10. I am here to tell you that my property taxes (school taxes) are VERY HIGH, because of the better schools.

    I don’t know why I didn’t see it as the mother was stealing or taking something away that she had not paid for or earned. But I understand that now. And honestly I don’t want to be mean but if I hear of someone sending their children to my child’s school and they live out of the district I would be upset now.”

    When somebody steals something from you, there’s nothing “mean” about being resentful about it. That’s how a normal person is supposed to feel when somebody steals from them.

    The reason why most AAs don’t see what this thief did as stealing is because certain Slave/Beggar paradigms have been frozen in place among AAs. For centuries. AAs like to call ourselves “free” and “equal” people, but we still see the world from the point of view of slaves who feel inferior in their hearts. Most AAs are frozen in the Powerless & Helpless Beggar/Slave way of thinking. I’m not just being sarcastic when I refer to most AAs as “slaves.” Judging from our behavior and thought patterns, most AAs are slaves. Most AAs don’t think the way free, independent people with self-agency think. In fact, a free and independent person’s way of thinking is alien to most AAs. We never see ourselves as the Owner/Creator/Producer/Boss/Investor/Stakeholder in any scenario. Even when we are.

    I know it annoys a number of readers when I quote from Elijah Muhammad, but he clearly laid some things out decades ago. And unlike the Acting Black Crew who make excuses for inferior behaviors, he was quite stern in his condemnation of Helpless Beggar/Slave thought and behavior patterns among AAs. Elijah Muhammad and his student Malcolm X both constantly challenged AAs to act like the free and equal people we angrily claim to be.

    In his 1965 book, Message to The Blackman, Elijah Muhammad said,

    In unity, we can accomplish much. Think of the 20 million of your and my kind putting one dollar a year aside for ourselves in a national treasury toward the day of want. Suppose we laid aside one dollar every month against the day of want. Look at the millions that we could build up for ourselves within a few years. Suppose all of you who are wealthy would spend your wealth to build up a better and more economic system among your own people. It would do much to aid our people. Do not put your wealth in the taverns and gambling houses and on race horses and other sports. Then, you would not be so easy to push over when the day of want arrives.

    There is no need for us, millions through the country, spending our money for the joy and happiness of others. As a result, as soon as they throw us out of a job we are back at their doors begging for bread and soup. How many clothing shops do we operate in the country? Very few! Yet, all of us wear clothes. Who made our clothes for us? Who sold them to us? We have thousands of grocery stores, but what about our naked bodies? Should we not have more stores to sell our people clothes?

    Should we not sell our people everything they want or need? But no, we give all the money out of our pockets to the slave-master. We are satisfied in doing so. There are millions of us. We do not have enough factories to weave clothes for our people here in America. Think over that. Where is our shoe factory? Where are our cattle that we are skinning to make shoes for our people? These are small things, but we want equality with a nation that is doing these things.

    We boast that we should be recognized as equals. Let us make ourselves equals. We cannot be equal with the master until we own what the master owns. We cannot be equal with the master until we have the freedom the master enjoys. We cannot be equal with the master until we have the education the master has. Then, we can say “Master, recognize us as your equal”.

    Today you are begging the master, the slave-masters’ children for what? You are begging them for a job. You are begging for complete recognition as their equals. Let us be honest with ourselves. According to history, we cannot find where the master made his slave equal until the servant made himself worthy of equality.

    I am with you to go on top. We cannot go on top with weight that is hanging on us. We cannot charge the white man with our faults. We are supposed to be, according to his own teachings, free. We are supposed to have been freed from him approximately 100 hundred years ago. Have we exercised that freedom? We must answer that we have not availed ourselves of that freedom. If we have not availed ourselves of that freedom which he says he gave us, why should we think hard of him about the way he treats us? This may be a little hard to swallow.

    Our fathers, in the days they were set free by the slave-master, had no knowledge of how to go for self. Today, you are educated. You claim that you have equal education. Then, why don’t you take a walk? Before we can be justified in accusing the other man, let us examine ourselves first. . .

    (emphasis added)http://www.seventhfam.com/temple/books/black_man/blk34.htm

    I believe Elijah Muhammad and Malcolm X were correct about this. When folks aren’t acting like free and equal people, then they don’t deserve to be treated like free people who are equal to other free people. When folks act like slaves, beggars and thieves, then they deserve to be treated as such. In the real world, nobody respects a group as equal unless and until they start assuming the responsibilities of being equal to others.

    Expect Success!

    • tertiaryanna says:

      “Think of the 20 million of your and my kind putting one dollar a year aside for ourselves in a national treasury toward the day of want.”

      This made me think of Hurricane Katrina.

      • Tertiaryanna,

        Oh, I often think of the still-displaced folks who survived Katrina. And what AAs’ mass apathy about all of that has made possible. By our apathy and amnesia about Katrina, AAs have taught US politicians—including colored ones such as the Obama-ssiah—that we’ll accept being literally ignored to death.

        I don’t have to like Elijah Muhammad (and I don’t like him) to tell the truth, and admit that his analysis was 100% correct about many things. And that he was very wise in how he dealt with with AAs’ unique psychology and pathologies. Finally, I would remind my fellow (“orthodox”) AA Muslims that the vast majority of us would not be Muslim if it hadn’t been for Elijah Muhammad (and his heresy—which ultimately pointed the way to true Islam). Arab, African, and Pakistani/Indian Muslims never bothered to invite AAs to Islam.

        As far as I’m concerned, even after factoring in his enormous and many faults, Elijah Muhammad was the best friend and best leader that AAs ever had. The healing aspects of his teachings spread across a wide range of AA cultural wounds and dysfunctions.

        Unlike Dr. King and other White-worshipping BM integrationists who were basically protesting for greater access to White women, Elijah Muhammad taught AAs how to have some racial self-respect. Unlike the Black Panthers who were often too caught up in their own petty criminality to be effective activists, Elijah Muhammad condemned criminal activity. Unlike decades of government programs, Elijah Muhammad was quite successful in cleaning up and reforming criminals and drug addicts.

        Unlike Marcus Garvey, the US government was never able to take Elijah Muhammad down. No matter how much the government schemed, and no matter how many Black agents they sent in to infiltrate the NOI. Quiet as it’s kept, Elijah Muhammad had extremely wise defensive counterintelligence strategies in place. And contrary to what happened to the Panthers, the government was never able to set him or his followers up for state-sponsored summary executions carried out by the police (like they did with Fred Hampton and other Panthers).

        Unlike the various BM fake cultural nationalists, Elijah Muhammad actually created functioning institutions and businesses. Unlike the AA rioters from the 1960s who only knew how to tear things down, Elijah Muhammad knew how to build institutions. Unlike Ms. Williams-Bolar and other thieves, Elijah Muhammad assumed the responsibility for his children’s education, and for his followers’ children’s education. He founded a network of independent Black-run private schools.

        Unlike modern, slave-minded AA Sunni Muslims, Elijah Muhammad never took orders from Arabs or Pakistanis. Unlike so many loudmouth, fake BM activists who talk tough but then cry like babies when consequences come their way, Elijah Muhammad went to federal prison for his beliefs (his refusal to register for the draft and fight for White America in a racist, segregated Army during WWII). He didn’t whine about his time in prison.

        My bottom line is that Elijah Muhammad and his teachings have helped more AAs—over decades, including after his death—by accident than most of our so-called leaders have done by design.

        I know that whatever degree of success I’ve experienced as a steward over my money (in avoiding excess consumer debt, and in creating additional income streams) is due to following some of the economic principles he taught. People who follow the personal productivity and economic principles he taught in his overall program do better than people who don’t.

        *Addendum*
        How could I have forgotten this last part? LOL! In his How To Eat To Live series of books, Elijah Muhammad taught his followers how to avoid obesity; obesity-related ailments such as diabetes, etc.; and other ailments caused by the standard American diet of heavily-processed foods.

        Expect Success!

        • Hodan says:

          Now I’m intrigued, did not know all that about the late Eliajah Muhammad. I’m going to check out what books he wrote and get them. Thanks for listing all his amazing accomplishment. I know more about Malcolm X when my mom @ the age of 11 bought me his autobiography.

  24. Not guilty says:

    I agree with the woman. This situation is nothing new. I know of this ww/wm couple who sent their son to a very expensive university and he did receive whatever benefits he could from said university. After he graduated his parents filed for bankrupcty. These people cheated the university, federal government and all tax paying citizens. A word class education free.

  25. zoe1231 says:

    Hi Khadija,

    Long time reader here, although I have commented very little as I’m usually reading from my blackberry at work or school, I’m attempting to do better in the commenting area. However, I am so glad that both you and Gina (WAOD) – along with Rosalyn Holcomb have pointed out this latest round of foolishness for what it really was – UTTER RIDICULOUSNESS. I could not believe that this woman had the audacity to cry foul knowing full well she was in the wrong and from the bits and pieces I’ve learned, she and her father are habitual rule-breakers. But you and I both know that nothing brings black folks together like being able to rally around some type of criminal element.

    Everything about this case was wrong from jump and I sent this to a few co-workers of mine as joke of what not to do and as usual the one other American black woman was trying to find a way to justify this tomfoolery. What I couldn’t understand from the beginning was why she didn’t just move to the neighborhood if her neighborhood was so bad that she had to file 12 police reports. Ummm… twelve reports?!? Really??? And your still living there?!? This I don’t understand. So Ms. Williams-Bolar wants me to believe that she supposedly cared enough about her girls education to break the law, but not enough about their actual safety to remove them from that environment??? Sorry not buying it.

    MsMellody said:
    “Good Morning Khadija, And thank you for posting your reply to the Kelly Williams-Bolar teaching moment! I knew that this was a valid and worthy teaching/teachable moment issue at hand.
    It’s as clear as day — if Kelly Williams-Bolar had dated and married a successful man she would have more than likely lived a different life..in a better area so that in turn her children would have been going to the better/best school district and she wouldnt be facing the issue of serving time right now -or- losing her teaching eligibility due to becoming a convicted felon!!!
    Wow..this is truly a clear cut case of what you Evia and other enlightened black female bloggers have been teaching/preaching/presenting for years now!!! ”

    This is so true… and it also makes me wonder if her father wouldn’t let her live in his home because there was a male involved at her place of residence. I ask because supposedly the girls did go to live with the grandfather when she was in jail. So again none of this makes any sense!

    I honestly cannot understand what the whole point to this fiasco was. It’s just baffling because it could’ve all been avoided.

    Anyhoo, I say all of this to say that everytime I think I know just how depraved the AA collective is, (between this and that comedian foolishness) I see them take themselves a few notches lower. The outside (nonAA) have to be looking at us wondering how in the world there are still so many us alive, when judging by our actions we should be near extinction.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: Oh, AAs are making great strides toward self-induced extinction as a collective. Just look at our homicide, incarceration, and HIV/AIDs rates…As the saying goes, some problems inadvertently create their own (end-stage) solutions…]

  26. Coffy says:

    Very enlightening conversation. Upon hearing the story in passing I felt sorry for her. But after actually reading the story she had a number of options that could’ve prevented this out come. I think a lot of us, especially those in my age range grew up believing we are owed something, or that we live in a country with a communist economic system. The sooner you realize most people aren’t looking out for you–the government included–the better prepared you’ll be to go out and get yours. Many people believe that because we didn’t receive reparations, it’s okay to ‘pimp the system,’ whether or not that’s a valid point you have to realize that there are repercussions for such actions.

    • Karen says:

      “…I think a lot of us, especially those in my age range grew up believing we are owed something…”

      This is a “fatal” outlook. The harsh reality is that no one is “owed” anything. The time for reparations is long past and if anything it was owed to our ancestors.

      All of us who have been born in the last 40 years have had opportunities that our ancestors NEVER had, yet we squander them as if those opportunities would always be there.

      We have used up whatever “good faith” there may have been from the majority population.

      In the “Age of Turmoil”, everyone will be fighting to survive and thrive. As Khadija references above, federal, state and local governments are struggling (read: no money).

      There will be no last minute rescue (see Katrina).

      It is way past time for people to stop scheming the system, expecting handouts and start becoming self-reliant. Lastly, learning to take care of needs instead of wants.

      I know the above sounds very harsh, but the fact is that time has already run out for many of these people. Rome is already burning.

    • Coffy,

      I 100% cosign Karen’s response to your comment. There’s not going to be any understanding or any last minute rescues. See Katrina.

      Expect Success!

  27. Neecy says:

    Ok something is not adding up and I am not sure why this woman is in jail with a mug shot plastered all over the national news (yet its like pulling teeth to even get a picture of a missing BW or girl on national news media).

    Is this woman really a *criminal*? is she really stealing when the biological father of the children (who are the ones benefiting from attending the school) already live in the school district and pays taxes and such? There is something not adding up here to me. The children of the father LIVE in the district. He pays his taxes and such. If the kids are under 18 then he is also legally responsible as a parent to take care of them (even if they don’t live with him)- THUS if he lives in a particular district and pays the taxes and such, then his children should be able to attend the school. Why is it a problem if mom ushers them into the safer school district where the biological father is already living and paying taxes?

    There are people who do this and there is NO parent living in the school district. THEY are the criminals b/c no one responsible for their kids are tax paying individuals in that district.

    And from what I have read, she sent them to that school for SAFETY reasons and not simply for better education. She IMO has every right to send her kids to a school where their equally responsible for them father lives.

    Maybe I am unaware of the laws b/c I am not understanding the problem here (when one biological parent lives and pays taxes in the district). Even if the parents are not together, both are still legally responsible for the children. So if mom lives outside the district but she is taking care of the children (b/c they live with her) why is it a problem that she send her and HIS kids to a school in his (the fathers) district where he lives and pays his taxes?

    If she is guilty of anything IMO its being too stupid realize she could have gotten them into the school through their father without having to go through all of that. If he is down as a legal guardian then I’m not sure what the problem is or why this was never communicated to the shcool.

    And where is the father and why haven’t we heard a peep from him? Typical. The BW is left out in the cold for people to point the finger to and talk down and judge. She didn’t steal from anyone. She was not benefitting from the safety and education her children received. The children have every right to receive the education at that school b/c their FATHER lives there and pays for that. period.

    Also. Throwing her in jail? really. I mean if people are so in an uproar b/c they were paying the taxes for her children to attend a school in their district (which they really weren’t b/c the father was already living there), shouldn’t they also be in an uproar that NOW their tax dollars are going to be used to house this woman in jail? Should tax dollars be wasted on putting this woman in jail?

    Now if there is something I am missing here please let me know b/c based on the info I read the father lives in the school district and I am not understanding why his kids don’t have a right to the education and safety of a school where he lives and pays taxes. I will take this all back if this is not the case.

    • tertiaryanna says:

      …send her kids to a school where their equally responsible for them father lives.

      She can’t do that, if the father is not a legal custodian. The children are considered part of the household that pays for most of their living expenses, and if the mom wants to say that the kids live with dad part time, then it changes both the custody agreement and the aid associated with it.

      In her case, I thought it was that if the kids didn’t live with her (she didn’t have custody of them) then it jeopardized her housing and child support. So either she has sole custody, in which case the kids go to school in mom’s neighborhood, or there’s joint custody, and the kids might be eligible.

      But that’s not a decision the parents make on their own, typically (unless they’re still married.)

      If the parents are still married but in different residences (for whatever reason) then the kids might be seen as equally able to be in either location, because even though it’s different houses, it’s legally one household. So there’s no joint custody, because the couple is still together, and the kids are jointly shared.

      But divorced or never-married couples can’t say that the kids are eligible for and have it stick. The courts make this decision. They divvy up marital property, in this case, the child.)

      If the mom “owns” the child and dad doesn’t, then mom can’t claim that dad is responsible for aspects of the child’s care beyond what the courts have decreed. He can’t say they do live there, because legally, they are not supposed to.

      So even if he wanted to help her, he can’t unless it’s done legally, because if he says the kids live with him, he’s risking mom’s home – she’d be defrauding the state for getting housing she’s not entitled to.

      So the children always follow the disposition of their custodian or custodians. In this case, there’s one custodian (the mom) and unless they work it out legally, the dad shouldn’t be a factor.

    • Plus, if she is a typical mother who collects social services the father’s name is not even on the birth certificate. That being the case he’s not legally their father so the rest of this defense is moot.

  28. Neecy says:

    OKAY I just take back what i said. It appears I read some half arsed news thing on this story and the more I have read it seems she was given plenty of warning along with tons of other parents who did withdraw their kids from the school after receiving the notification from the school. She chose not to for whatever reasons.

    Also it wasn’t the childrens biological father it was her father that lived in the district. That was really my basis for defending her was that i believed it was the kids biological father living in the district.

    i still think the felony charge is really harsh and unecessary. But on the flip side I don’t think its harsh for her reputation as a teacher to be ruined. Especially since she violated rules/laws on school district policies and IGNORED them after being warned. There are other ways to punish this woman – like garnishing wages, community service, losing teaching certification. but a FELONY? not so sure about that one.

  29. halima says:

    Khadija

    I dont know the ins and outs of this case and might be barking up the wrong tree, but i think this is one of the ones were bw get into ‘reform unfair society’ (aka liberal agenda), battles and end up burned. bw allow themselves be placed at the ‘tip’ of the spear used to break down social walls etc and thus bear the brunt of the effort.

    others may sympathize, or empathize, write a few articles even donate a couple of hundreds, but it is bw who get to bear ‘the mark’ of all these efforts in their bodies. yes there are all sorts of unfair set ups in society that need to be challenged, but let others provide the test cases especially knowing that society will often exact harsher penalties on black bodies!

    I am sure there were folks egging her on saying, ‘lets take down the system, this one will show the world how unfair ‘zoning, X, Y or Z is.’ ultimately those other folks will simply console you and talk about how wicked the government is, no more no less!

    • Halima,

      I don’t know if Ms. Williams-Bolar originally perceived her scam as somehow being political and a blow against a purportedly “unjust” regulation. Now that she’s reaping the negative consequences of her choice to break the law, slaves are trying to turn this into something political and loftier than a tawdry little scheme to defraud taxpayers and the school district.

      Expect Success!

  30. Everybody,

    Let me clear something up for those folks who are outraged that this particular thief was charged with a felony as opposed to a misdemeanor:

    With a number of state laws, theft of something valued at over a certain amount of dollars (for example, let’s say valued at over $300) IS a felony offense! My understanding of this case is that the educational services that this woman stole the benefit of were valued in the THOUSANDS of dollars. So, in light of that, it’s not at all surprising to me that this thief was charged with a felony offense.

    *Addendum*
    Slaves really need to stop arrogantly screaming about the imaginary “rights” they invent for themselves. NO, you don’t have a “right” to break the law. If you choose to break the law, then be prepared to face the negative consequences of that choice. Don’t be a crybaby when the consequences you invited into your life finally catch up with you.

    Expect Success!

    • Neecy says:

      This issue has been an ongoing problem for the last couple of decades and suddenly one BW gets caught and its now a national issue? why is this national news SUDDENLY? I am curious as to how many cases are filed each year for parents who do this or how many children are removed from schools they should not be attending b/c some parent(s) schemed and thieved their kids into schools they shouldn’t be attending. What I am saying is why make this BW a poster child for this problem that should have been addressed yeeears ago?

      It was estimated that over a course of 2 1/2 years she was billed monthly and it all adds up to 30K total. Now if 30K is an amount that is determined to be charged for a felony, then it is what it is. YES She needs to be punished and made to pay for the $$$ that she was being billed for. She as well as many other Black folks need to understand it is not all about them and that when people say to stop doing something to listen. BUT If they really want to stick it to her, garnish her wages, make her do community service and anything else to pay back the debt she owes. I even believe her teaching certification should be revoked.

      But toss her in jail, permanent felony record, plaster her face all over the national news and make her look like the whipping post for all things horrible, and further ruin any chances for her to seek and be gainfully employed for sending her kids to a better school outside of her district? No.

      Yes the people in the district paying their taxes for their kids to go to a better school deserve to be mad and seek restitution. But really have they been harmed or ruined b/c of this woman to the point she deserved to be publicly and socially flogged? Why is SHE national news and not the PROBLEM? I am sure they are for having this woman PAY back her debt. and create more ways to make it difficult for people like her and others to not be able to get their kids in districts they do not belong or pay taxes. But I would never agree that any SINGLE mother should be publicly plastered all over the news and media, poked fun at, and tossed in jail and given a felony record for doing what she did.

      I’m sorry I cannot and will not uphold this woman on the same level as thieves and others who ruin people’s lives. She didn’t ruin anyone’s life. Her whole base intention was to get her kids into a safer district. that’s it. Her methods of course is what got her in trouble and she NEEDS to be punished for that. But really to make her out as a martyr common criminal thief I cannot say I agree with that.

      there is no way in heck a WW’s life would be ruined, no way her face would be plastered all over the news as a “criminal” nor tossed in jail. NO WAY. I am tired of BW being treated like the whipping post for all of society to accuse and blame for everything wrong. This woman was wrong. She didn’t use her head and chose to ignore warnings. But in those warnings was she told she could face jail time and a record? Or that her face would be plastered all over the national news? There are a lot of things in this case that don’t add up or make sense for me to just say “yeah throw the book at this criminal thief”.

      I may be called a slave for my views on how this woman is being treated and handled PUBLICALLY but I am confident in my views in that I do not coddle or protect or make excuses for Black people who do wrong. EVER. And I am not making excuses for this woman nor saying she shouldn’t be punished. However, I still say I am over BW being handled much harsher in society for EVERYTHING that other races of women often receive sympathy or understanding for. And I am not just talking the justice system. There is no way a WW would have been treated so harshly – and publicly at that. It just seems that there is NO LINE whatsoever when it comes to handling BW publicly. AND ITRS WRONG. PERIOD. BW have feelings and are human beings too. We are not perfect and yes we do things LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Its like Anything goes when it comes to BW. just toss BW who made bad choices out into the media and let everyone say what they want and make judgments against them.

      When we need the media’s attention and help for good things BW are doing and accomplishing or when BW go missing we can’t get anyone to report it or give a damn. its really sad. All the more reason I am getting out of America. I believe that to my core and society needs to stop using BW as a poster child & public whipping post for everything negative that other people get away with. This issue has been going on for DECADES.

      People far and wide would not even have or HEAR a WW (and damn sure no WW who is a mother) doing jail time for something like this or receiving a felony on her record. I mean really. But at the end of the day it is what it is and its a message being sent that BW need to heed to – YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING without paying a high price. So use your head and common sense and avoid putting yourself in situations like this woman did.

      it bugs me that national news doesn’t put the same effort into reporting and posting pics of missing BW that they do when a BW has committed a crime and has a mug shot.

      • Neecy,

        We agree to disagree; which is just fine. 🙂 I’ll get back to this in another general comment directed to all dissenters, but here’s the quicker version:

        AA crybabies can’t have it both ways. They can’t endlessly whine about racist double standards—and then do things (like committing crimes) that make themselves subject to those same racist double standards they already knew existed.

        AA crybabies’ “greatest hits” album of things to whine about is played out. NOBODY cares about that anymore. NOBODY is willing to entertain that whining anymore.

        Expect Success!

        • Neecy says:

          I still love you K! 🙂

          And I also agree with the premise that its not fair for outside neighboring parents to invade other school districts without paying by moving into the district.I went through this myself living in the West San Fernando Valley and having to deal with inner city kids from los Angeles (bussed in) who often brought their gang activity and nonsense to the good schools and students in the Valley who were not exposed to that lifestyle b/c our parents MOVED us to the valley to avoid having to be aorund that.

          i don’t care how snobby that sounds. but its like everyone is okay with say Beverly hills and other well known high end communities being exclusive based on income and such but the minute others (especially Blacks) want the same for their kids (AND ARE SACRIFICING AND PAYING to do it) we are called “bougie”. SMH

          I also agree that any BW moving into the global village and circles needs to understand that, the typical coddling of Black folks who eff up is only going to cause her to be isolated by those circles. Veyr good point and advice.

          i just disagree on how this woman has been handled publicly and feel her punishemnt was harsh.

      • Not guilty says:

        I agree with you 100%. BW are held to a higher degree for certain offenses that other race women would have been given some type of understanding.

      • This has been ongoing for two years. They investigated 40-50 cases. None of those went to court because they either withdrew their children from the school or they agreed to pay tuition and/or a small fine. Ms. Williams-Bolar insisted on having her day in court and thought she could force the school district to take her children whether they were legal or not. I guess she found out otherwise. This is why they hired private investigators, etc… because she wouldn’t cooperate and move on like everyone else did. After all that I’m just surprised the judge didn’t impose the full 2-year sentence.

        • Neecy says:

          I agree this woman was given chances and such. She didn’t budge. And she needs to pay for that. BUT why is this national news? This should be a local story. Not national news. This is what bothers me. It also bothers me that some silly story of a BW who ushered her kids into a better school district (something that is done DAILY by many Americans) is national news while we cannot even get a story of a missing BW or girl on the news. They are using this BW as some sort of martyr or poster child – AS USUAL and i don’t like it. She is a human being who made some stupid/bad judgements. If everyone had to be plastered on national news & given felony records for the petty crimes they did would that be fair? Why is everyone so quick to just “throw the whole book and lock her butt up under the jail and throw away the key cause she didn’t listen” at a BW all the time? Do BW not deserve to have some sort of empathy like every other woman on earth who muffs up?

          She deserves to be punished no doubt about it. She also needs to pay what she owes to that school. But Does she deserve to be pulled through the mud naitonally for the whole world to see and point their fingers to? Really. Why are BW always the example and why are so many BW comfortable with that.

          I think even some BW become so desensitized to harsh treatment of BW they don’t even THINK to try and cut some slack to another BW who is being overly punished or drug through the mud for something not that darn criminal. It just seems like every other race/culture is always willing to be a little easy on its women EXCEPT BLACKS (this includes BW). Its really sad and painful to see so many BW just kick each other to the curb for making bad judgements. its like “oh well too bad for her”. WW always do what they can to try and understand and cut each other some slack even when one of them does something DUMB. In fact they overly protect each other. They all knew Ntalie Halloway was out skeezing with boys she should not have been running off with. but White people did EVERYTHING in thier power to protect her reputtation and dared anyoen to try to use that angle as a focus. even though the obvious was in everyone’s faces – that she could have avoided that had she not snuck off with MEN she didn’t know. NO ONE wanted to talk about that. that’s b/c whites and all other cultures always want to give the benefit of the doubt or at least cut a little slack to their women EVEN when the proof shows they did something stupid, didn’t listen and paid the price. BW don’t do that. I don’t get it. Just b/c you don’t feel she deserves to be publicly flogged, have a felony record and tossed in jail doesn’t mean you are coddling her, making excuses etc.

          OK she took her kids to a school out of her district and didn’t listen the the school when they kept telling her to stop. OK. I fail to see where anyone has been hurt or their lives have been changed for the worse b/c of this, to the point its national news. people are being murdered, kidnapped, the world is falling apart, and people want to jail some low income single mother for trying to get her kids a safer and better education?

          Did anyone living in that district SUFFER b/c of her actions? if they were suffering then why did they wait two darn years to really do something about it? I live in a nice area where I pay a boatload of rent. Although i don’t have children I know for a fact as well as many parents who live in districts like this, that there are people sending their kids to schools here that shouldn’t be. OK. AM I gonna pursue jail time and felony records for these parents? NO. Would i like to see some single low income mother who did this in my district plastered all over the national news EVEN when she refused the warnings? NOT AT ALL.

          The school district should not have had to keep warning this woman. ONE time should have been enough. If she wasn’t budging then they should have done something THEN. Why send some low income woman (who obviously couldn’t afford to live in the school district she was ushering her kids to) monthly bills you know she isn’t and can’t pay? That’s a waste of time. Hiring private investigators and all that stuff just seems really off to me. The fact is it doesn’t take 2 years and a couple of private investigators to prove the woman didn’t live in the district. After the first notification to remove her kids that should have been all they needed. Once she did not do that the FIRST TIME, they should have pursued legal action. Why keep dragging their feet for 2 years? if I were living in that district i would question the school and officials as to why they spent two years trying to fix that problem.

          And then I would question why my tax dollars are being used to jail someone like her when other measures can be taken to rectify the situation and receive restitution.

          i guess if anything good has come form this story is that if you are a BW you now know that you better be damn near perfect b/c NO ONE and i mean NO ONE is going to cut you any slack. NOT even other BW. So better do the right thing ALL THE TIME b/c anything less than perfect behavior for a BW is grounds for throwing the book at you.

          yeah i’m emotional b/c I’m just tired. Tired. Words can’t explain how sad I feel for BW at times…..
          ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

          [Khadija speaking: Neecy, what you don’t seem to get (because you apparently identify and sympathize with her), even though you say the words is that Ms. Williams-Bolar had ALREADY been given MILES of “slack”!

          They warned her…

          They gave her an opportunity to rectify her law-breaking activities…

          {slipping into Ebonics} She already got mucho slack—that she arrogantly rejected. How much more slack do she get???!!

          After all the MILES of slack she was already granted—and rejected—when you say “cut her more slack”, what you’re really saying is “don’t hold her accountable for her choices.” The answer to that is NO!

          The other angle is similar to the one I mentioned about double standards. Slaves can’t have it both ways. Slaves already know about, and are whining about, racist double standards. Since they know about this, then they don’t get to play shocked and whine when they do things (such as committing crimes) that make them subject to those same double standards they’ve been whining about.

          This applies to your “why is she national, front page news” lament: Slaves already know that slave-stupidity is a prime source of entertainment for mainstream America. That’s the purpose of the reality shows that feature idiotic AAs doing and saying idiotic things. AAs already know this; even though some of us want to play the nut role and pretend like we don’t know that our stupidity is entertainment fodder for the rest of America.

          Knowing this, when slaves choose to do profoundly stupid and illegal things, they assume the risk of becoming the front page source of entertainment for the entire US of A. Any slave who does not want to be a national source of entertainment needs to refrain from doing dumb sh*t, particularly dumb, illegal sh*t. That’s Common Sense 101.

          Neecy, dear, why are you acting like you don’t already know all of this?

          • According to npr it’s national news because unlike most people who get caught stealing from a school district she didn’t withdraw her children and comply with the law. There would have been no court case had she done that, therefore no news story. As I said, they caught dozens of other people doing the same thing, but the rest of them acted like they had some sense, she didn’t. No one dragged her through the mud, she dragged herself there. As Khadija keeps saying repeatedly, when you see that you’re the only one doing something it’s time to check yourself. She was the only one that didn’t comply.

            Let me be clear, I’ll stand by a black woman who is maltreated through no fault of her own until the cows come home. But I will not stand with criminals, I don’t give a flip what color or gender they are.

            As for it taking two years, make up your mind. Perhaps they were trying to give her some of this slack so many people seem to think she’s earned. (No, I have no idea why. Sounds like a garden variety beat to me, but there you go.)

            This is not a matter of being desensitized to harsh treatment to black women, this is a matter of being desensitized to harsh treatment for criminals. I worked in the system too long not to recognize the pattern. These people would just as soon cut your throat as to look at you, but folk out here defending them like they’re Rosa Parks. As I’ve said before, this affinity for defending criminality because “white folk do it too” is not only a bad look, it’s downright dangerous. And the band played on.
            +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

            [Khadija speaking: Amen! I 100% cosign. The dissenters are emotionally identifying with and zealously cheerleading the same Sheniquas who HATE normal BW like them with a passion! Actually, I believe that much of this is spillover from the knee-jerk Sista Soldiering/Rally Around Criminals brainwashing that most AA women have bought into. We’ll talk about that in the next blog post.]

          • Neecy says:

            khadija,

            *sigh* i slept on it. I asked myself why am I soooooo upset over this story. The strange crazy thing is — i cannot argue against one word you or Roz said. I know its the truth and i am willing to say it – b/c I absolutley agree with it. But I cannot explain why at the same time I am so bothered by how this woman has been treated in the media and how harshly she was sentenced based on what she did. I was looking at her intentions rather than her actions. Meaning, I was seeing a woman who wanted the best for her kids and did something that most people are doing and often getting away with. Obviously as Roz said many others were doing it but they removed their kids after the first warning. But I have had to come to the conclusion that her sentencing and punishment wasn’t really on what she did, but the fact that she had been warned and chose to ignore those warnings for over two years. Period. i need to accept that and keep it moving b/c she was as you said cut some slack. In fact TOO MUCH SLACK if you ask me. it may take some time before I come to my normal senses but I usually do LOL.

            The school DOES nnned to be questioned by parents as to why they waited so long. 2 years? the girls are damn near almost finished. LOL I don’t think they should give ANYONE two years to remove their kids from a school. I don’t think the case should have ever got to this point. And that is my main thing. The law should have been involved from the jump after the second notification. And if I were a parent in that school district that would chap my hide that for 2 years this woman got away with sending her kids to that school with no real action taken besides letters and bills. How hard was it to prove that this woman didn’t live within the zones?

            And I have zero tolerance for criminal Blacks who start blaming the system, the man and everyone else for their crimes. I also ALWAYS say that if Black people want to stop being targeted for crime and tossed in jail for them to STOP DOING IT.

            But I need to see that the real crime here was that this woman did not abide by the warnings she received to remove her children from the school and b/c of that she ultimatley had to pay a big price for it.

            I guess i am also bothered b/c I don’t understand why this case is NATIONAL news. Maybe my frustration is more with the media and as a result I am simultaneously KIND OF sympathizing with this woman b/c she is YET another media BW pawn. I just feel BW are always public fodder for EVERYTHING wrong in this world and always used as whipping tools for the media. I have to separate my frustration with the media and how BW are generally treated socially from cases like this where a BW had ample time to do the right thing before having to pay harshly for her stubborness.

  31. Joyousnerd says:

    I found it hilarious to see the slave’s comments let through. Right after I had commented that my 3 year old would use the flimsy defense that his sister did XYZ too, here comes a slave making the same argument! lol the hilarity of it all!

    My mother didn’t have much money when I was small, and we were surrounded by other people who lacked money at that time. What there was plenty of, however, was common sense and pride. You can almost always find a way to get what you need without resorting to criminality.

    For instance, I loved books and read voraciously as a kid, but books are expensive. The library was full of winos and was unsafe, plus my mom had to work during those hours.

    So to get the books I craved, on the weekend we took the bus to the Goodwill on the fringes of a rich neighborhood. Books were only a dime each! And the selection was marvelous. I have fond memories of poring over the selection to narrow down my choices to fit within the dollar or two my mom would give me to make my purchases. As a bonus, the ladies working the counter would sometimes let me get a book for free- but I never expected or demanded books, or stole them! [I assumed back then that they paid the dime themselves into the till, but looking back they were probably stealing from the store to give them to me 🙁 ]

    This mentality that a person is owed something for nothing is very alien to me. I remember arguing a while back with a foolish AA woman who defended her parents use of the public library as a free daycare. I was horrified that anyone could excuse such behavior. In her estimation, though, the library is wrong for failing to embrace their appointed role as free daycare facilities. Because, you see, her parents needed daycare, therefore it was ok for them to literally DUMP their kids on the staff who should be required to watch them!!! The mind boggles.

    I could not get this woman to understand that just because you have a legitimate need does not require anyone to fulfill it. Kids in Pakistan need medicine, am I in NJ now required to purchase it? Surely not. My house needs a coat of paint, is the Dept of State required to furnish it? Of course not! I was left perplexed and bewildered by that mentality.

    Of course, this is slave thinking. It is no wonder that people from functioning collectives are wary of us when so many AA people have a backwards moral schema. Yes, other people steal, cheat and hustle; they aren’t all paragons of virtue. However, they usually have the decency to be ashamed and stop when called out on it, unlike slaves who act shocked and indignant that someone dared question their theft.

    Black Americans will end up a permanent underclass here, like the Roma are in Europe, sooner or later. Hopefully by that time I will be living well on the continent, not trapped here in permanent Gypsy status in the US.

    • JoyousNerd,

      You said, “Right after I had commented that my 3 year old would use the flimsy defense that his sister did XYZ too, here comes a slave making the same argument! lol the hilarity of it all!”

      I know…it’s just too silly.

      You said, “This mentality that a person is owed something for nothing is very alien to me.”

      The same for me. What’s also alien to me is the slave combo of Arrogant Tough Talk When Being Warned and then Crybaby W/Snot Running Down Their Faces When They Get Caught. I don’t get that.

      Because if you’re tough enough to engage in tough talk and get salty with government officials when they warn you … then you should be too tough to be a crybaby when you get caught. My parents were very firm about teaching us NOT to engage in selling wolf tickets. It ususally works out better to be polite and eat some humble pie in the beginning. You can always escalate upwards if the situation requires that—AND you’re in a position to be able to escalate.

      But when you start off with that tough talk, it’s very difficult to climb down off of that. And once you front people off with tough talk, you better not look for anything from them (like consideration, understanding or compassion). Because you killed all of that with that tough talk. But slaves don’t seem to understand this basic idea. They expect the people they get salty with to feel sorry for them, and cut them some slack. Umm…no. Not in the real world.

      You said, “I could not get this woman to understand that just because you have a legitimate need does not require anyone to fulfill it. Kids in Pakistan need medicine, am I in NJ now required to purchase it? Surely not. My house needs a coat of paint, is the Dept of State required to furnish it? Of course not! I was left perplexed and bewildered by that mentality.

      Of course, this is slave thinking. It is no wonder that people from functioning collectives are wary of us when so many AA people have a backwards moral schema. Yes, other people steal, cheat and hustle; they aren’t all paragons of virtue. However, they usually have the decency to be ashamed and stop when called out on it, unlike slaves who act shocked and indignant that someone dared question their theft.”

      That’s crazy. And I’m cautioning aspiring Sojourners that the traditional AA posture of being shocked and indignant that other people don’t like theft (or other criminal activities) is a very bad look. A look that will stigmatize a person, and hinder them from joining functional networks in the non-AA world.

      You said, “Black Americans will end up a permanent underclass here, like the Roma are in Europe, sooner or later. Hopefully by that time I will be living well on the continent, not trapped here in permanent Gypsy status in the US.”

      Indeed. AAs will keep reciting their AA Crybaby Anthems. And NOBODY else will be listening. Life will go on for everybody else. The same way life goes on for everybody else no matter how deep and depraved the suffering gets in various sub-Saharan African countries.

      Expect Success!

    • YMB says:

      And should some harm come to her children as a result of her leaving them unsupervised in the library, she would immediately be looking to sue the staff, library, county, etc. *SMH*

  32. Magenta says:

    When I heard about this case, I thought of you. I remember you commented (I am paraphrasing) that many BW wants the benefits of a quality lifestyle (good schools, safety, etc.) but don’t want to give up certain DBR people and behaviors. Many AAs refuse to leave the “hood” but still want the benefits of non-hood life such as public schools. If your living environment is dangerous, how can your children focus on their education? Ms. Williams-Bolar’s first step should have been to secure a safe neighborhood for her children. Then should could have legally sent them to a good public school.

    Someone mentioned zoning issues, and they can be problematic sometimes. But that is only in extreme cases where you are living with several people. If you are renting out a house or basement from a private owner, that is usually fine, provided the owner is not violating his HOA agreement. I would tell any renter who is considering renting from a private owner to check the zoning laws and their landlord’s HOA agreement to make sure there is no “static” later on. But like I said, as long as you are not cramming 5 people into a 1 bedroom apt this should not be a problem.

    Ms. Bolar could have simply moved into a modest apartment in the “low end” part of the high end county. I know people who are living in some of the most expensive counties in the country just by doing a little research. A ww coworker of mine is currently living in the condo of a traveling nurse (who is out of the country on a humanitarian mission) rent free, all she has to do is take care of the plants, sign for deliveries, and move her car periodically when it is street cleaning day. There are always legal ways to do something.

    But we have to be willing to sacrifice. It appears Ms. Williams-Bolar wanted access to the school system without having to sacrifice the comfort of living in a familiar place (or her public assistance). Life doesn’t work that way.

    • Magenta,

      You said, “There are always legal ways to do something.

      But we have to be willing to sacrifice. It appears Ms. Williams-Bolar wanted access to the school system without having to sacrifice the comfort of living in a familiar place (or her public assistance). Life doesn’t work that way.”

      Indeed.

      Expect Success!

  33. pioneervalleywoman says:

    Greetings, Khadija!

    I must say I’m just baffled by this whole case. Where is the sense of pride, self-respect and self-preservation that many of us were taught in terms of putting together our “hustles?” Plenty of us were taught by our elders that one of the best things in life is to pull down a legitimate hustle, of the type to make others sit back, take notice and wonder, “What in the…how in the…?”

    But to pull the type of hustle that have folks looking at you in contempt, as you get locked up and with your mugshot publicized throughout the world??? What in the world was that woman thinking??? Have black people stopped teaching each other the lessons of blackness that have always persisted? Yes, other folks do it, but when “we” do it, the bricks rain down harder!

    There is no pride and self-respect in doing something like this that only brought her to the attention of the authorities who then dragged her in like a child going to the principal’s office! The thought of the shame and embarrassment I’m imagining is what got those parents to “fly straight” once they were caught!

    No sense of shame, no sense of self-preservation (and fears of the disgrace) that being recalcitrant in the face of such a sh**storm, “being wrong but acting strong” (as my old folks would say) could lead to such serious problems? I just don’t get it…

    • ak says:

      I agree. PVW. Those bricks will come down harder on us and I don’t need it!

    • PioneerValleyWoman,

      You said, “No sense of shame, no sense of self-preservation (and fears of the disgrace) that being recalcitrant in the face of such a sh**storm, “being wrong but acting strong” (as my old folks would say) could lead to such serious problems? I just don’t get it…”

      I don’t get it either. But, unfortunately, it’s a common attitude among AAs who get themselves in trouble with the law. They are typically extremely arrogant in their stupidity. When warned about the possible penalties imposed for breaking the law, they like to “talk tough” about what they will and won’t do. But yet they turn into mewling, snot-running-down-their-faces crybabies when the consequences of their choice to break the law catches up with them.

      I don’t get it; and it annoys me. If you can’t do the time, then DON’T do the crime—it’s that simple.

      I especially don’t have any sympathy for somebody who got a warning and was given the opportunity to avoid having serious consequences imposed.

      In terms of the lack of common sense about how (as you put it): “Yes, other folks do it, but when “we” do it, the bricks rain down harder!” Much of this came up during a post at the previous blog, Reality Check: African-Americans STILL Need To Have Racial Discipline In the Obama Era.

      Expect Success!

  34. SweetSoul says:

    Yes, most African –Americans have an entitlement mindset, “I’m disadvantage or under privileged”, therefore, “people owe me something”. As result,a poverty mentality comes into play in their everyday lives(education, housing, workplace). They fail to realize or acknowledge their part in making poor choices has tribute to their current situation. Ms. William-Bolar and her FATHER thought they could work the system without contributing to the school district. The pity party is over, become productive or face some harsh REALities!

  35. marielle says:

    Shameful behavior on her part. She could have avoided this entire situation by simply giving her father legal guardianship over her children. Then her children would have had the right to reap the benefits of their grandfather’s tax dollars.

  36. Muse says:

    Khadija the timing of this post is ironic because there are schools that are part of the LA Unified that want to break off and start their own school district. Many of the schools in West San Fernando Valley in California, especially in the West Hills, Agora Hills, Woodland Hills, and Calabasas area are high performing public schools. The students are usually from upper middle to upper class families and end up attending top universities in the country. When I was attending a well known and academically successful public high school ten years ago there were talks about West Valley schools separating from LAUSD. Kids from bad neighborhoods were getting bused in and causing problems. Unfortunately these kids were under performers and the main ones fighting. In fact there were social divisions at my old school. There were the black kids who got bused in and the “bougie” or “wanna be oreos,” i.e. the black kids who lived in the valley. The ghetto kids use to make fun of us and call is sellouts because we didn’t want to be “down” with them. The Black kids from the valley got along just fine with the Asian, White, Jewish, and “Other” kids because we all grew up together and live in the same neighborhood. It was a foreign concept to these black kids that there were people who looked like them thriving and having no racial issues at the school. The racial issues didn’t start until these kids came around. The accused teachers and administrators of picking of them because they were black.

    I also believe there was some class envy from the kids who were bused in because most of the black kids from the valley had parents who were involved. They saw our parents coming to the schools, visiting teachers, throwing events, and picking us up. One girl use to give me grief and said I was spoiled because I had a mom, dad, and step-mom who were involved. I remember my sophomore year some of the well meaning black parents wanted to help make the bus kids feel included so they threw a get to together at one of the PTA member house in Calabasas. He was a black cardiologist and his wife was a Hollywood producer. They were first going to throw it at my dad’s house but he gave a clear heck naw (my dad is an educator he knew the deal). Long story short the parents of the bus-kids didn’t show up. The kids who did show up brought their hood friends who didn’t know how to conduct themselves. It was a sad and uncomfortable situation. Long story short they were eventually asked to leave and some property came up missing.

    Furthermore many of these bus-kids threatened teachers, other students, and brought a bad element to the school. Most of them were also in the remedial classes. One kid who was bused in from South LA was caught selling weed on campus! Parents were tired of dealing with these individual and their uninvolved parents so they pushed to stop having the busing program and are still fighting to start their own district. Part of the reason why the west valley schools out performing their counter parts is because of the involved parents, high property taxes, and income of the homeowners in their neighborhood. My dad chaperoned dances (I think he was spying on me to tell you the truth though). Other parents, including my mom and step-mom who also had high powered careers also made time to volunteer in the classroom. The parents of the bus-kids were rarely seen unless their spawn(s) was getting into trouble.

    One of the reasons why my parents opted out of sending me to private for high school because the public school in my neighborhood was excellent. My high school won academic decathlons 10 years in a row, offered over 20+ advance placement courses along with various honors classes, and the teachers were very involved. Educators who weren’t performing were let go or transfered. The parents put a lot of pressure on the teachers to do their jobs. Also my classes were small. On average there was only 15 students in my classes. Every year my high school had a surplus in funds because of the property taxes and the DONATIONS received. I remember having brand new books every year. I had one book I was able to keep at home and one at school. We also had computers and laptops in the classroom. One of my friends whose father was an executive at Sun Microsystems funded a computer lab at my old high school. LAUSD at one point tried to take our surplus to give to other underprivileged schools. In principle I understand why but in reality it’s unfair because our surplus came from the property taxes of the neighborhood. When the parents heard about the proposition that LAUSD tried to pass, they rallied together, hired lawyers and fought the school district. I believe with everything going on and LAUSD becoming too big, the Valley schools will successful be able to separate and start their own district. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if West Valley successful forms a new school district within the next five years.

    Lastly, most of my classmates attended top 30 universities in the country. Most of the kids who were bused in never made it to college and turned into another statistic.

    • Muse,

      You said, “Khadija the timing of this post is ironic because there are schools that are part of the LA Unified that want to break off and start their own school district.”

      That’s the trend of the future. Folks in functioning communities are going to do whatever they have to do (clamp down on enforcing school district rules, break away politically, etc.) to STOP AA undesirables and parasites from stealing and draining the resources they worked to create.

      Expect Success!

    • ladyeam says:

      Muse,

      I am a longtime lurker and I just had to respond to your statement. I swear I thought I was reading my own life story :). I too went to a high school where the “ghetto” kids were bused in from the projects. They brought a completely different vibe to school. It was amazing. I remember coming to school in the morning and as soon as the bused-in kids walked through the door, things would get loud and ignorant.

      I, too, was ostracized for my proper speech and my ability to make friends across racial lines. I would constantly get told, “You think you’re better than everybody else!”

      Do all who come from the projects act like this? No, but is it the majority? Yes! It’s sad, but as we all know, it starts at home.

    • Neecy says:

      Muse,

      I actually live in the West Valley in Woodland Hills (renting) and borderline West Hills and I have attended schools here since a child. My father had lived in Panorama City (before it started being run down) and it got so bad at the school i was going (i was being picked on by a lot of the Back girls who lived in the inner city projects that were being bussed into the valley from los Angeles) that my father went to the school and spoke directly with a counselor to see if I could get a transfer to Chatsworth. The counselor did end up giving me a transfer to a better school but it was still the same issue at Chatsworth b/c all the valley schools were bussing in the inner city kids.

      YES the bussing of LA students to west valley schools has been an ongoing discussion for years. But now parents are FED UP and want it to stop. Parents don’t want it anymore. I can honestly say that in Junior high and high school many of the gang issues and things we had in school were from the inner city kids being bussed from Los Angeles. It did bring down the schools in the area in where parents were paying high taxes for the school district.

      It isn’t fair to the local kids whose parents specifically move to nicer areas (AND PAY) so that their kids are not exposed to that lifestyle. it completely deafeats the purpose for people who work hard to keep thier kids in safer schools to have to fund inner city kids. Sorry. And b/c I actually went through it i see the results of such things.

      like Khadija said many times when you bus or allow children from outer neighborhoods in where the parents do not invest in their children like the parents in more upscale high tax bracket areas, those kids do bring down the school. i remember very vividly all the problems I had from other girls were females bussed in from Los Angeles.

      Currently I have a friend who moved from an area where the school district was not considered high in the list and she MOVED her family into a nice 3 bedroom apt to make sure her daughter goes to a good school (she goes to El Camino). She sold her house in another city JUST to do this for her daughter. And it was a good move for her daughter b/c she is in one of the best schools in the Valley in West Hills. My friend pays a grip for the apt she lives in but to her it was worth moving there.

      • Your friend sounds like one of my friends. Her daughters wanted to go to a high school located in a neighboring city (about 20 minutes away from their home.) My friend PURCHASED A SECOND HOME so that her daughters could legally attend the school. This woman is not rich AT ALL. She is Black, she has 4 children total and she earns the bulk of the income, though she is married. She purchased this home by herself (she owns both of her homes solely.) She commutes a total of 4 hours a day to go to her job (2 hrs in the AM, 2 or more hrs in the PM), and she is also in the military and does drill once every several months. She hustled to get her daughters what they both needed and wanted-and she did it the legal way. It wasn’t easy at first, but she would do anything for them, so that they could have better education opportunities. She, too, believes it was worth it.

        Her girls are now in college, and she is turning over the property to a management company so that they can get some tenants and start generating income. She’s not only set them up to succeed in college, but she is purchasing property that she can pass down to her children in the future.

        • Neecy says:

          Miss Glam your friend is smart. Its sooo worth it if one can manage to move into a better neighborhood so that their children can get the safest and best education possible.

          Of course my friend got pushback from the Black people she works with and her family. Telling her she was crazy and stupid to sell her house to move into an apartment that was expensive like that. But her daughter is extremely bright and she just felt the district and school in her area where she owned her home was not up to par. She couldn’t afford to buy a home in West Hills, but they do have really nice apartment homes, so that’s the route she took. Her daughter can walk to and from school. So she did what she had to do to get her daughter in the best school. And her daughter is doing EXCEPTIONALLY well.

          • And the fact that her daughter is doing exceptionally well makes everything worthwhile. People who criticize those who make these kind of moves for their children are usually selfish (“Why should I have to move because my child wants to go to some uppity school?”) and ignorant (“The school in my district is just fine-it isn’t great, but it’ll do.”) They don’t realize that better schools usually have more support from alumni, who donate money and make scholarships available to seniors at these high schools. Also, the friends they make may very well be the members of their networks in the future-these connections can means jobs, social opportunities, romantic relationships, and so much more for their children. There are tons of tangible and intangible benefits from mingling with those who value good education.

            All this talk is making me a little resentful that my mother didn’t let me go to private school for my high school years-I would have been so much further along if I had met the right people then, instead of trying to make up for lost ground now.

          • Melissa Q. says:

            Those who gave her the pushback don’t realize that you might have to delay satisfaction to get what you want. You can’t cry, whine, scream,and cheat to get everything. You are not entitled to anything. Hard work pays off.

            When her daughter gets into a good University, I can bet you 100% they won’t be talking.

    • geekgrl says:

      I went to Gardena HS in the 90s and I can tell you that the majority of the ABC students were Compton students who either were bused in (which is strange, because it is another school district) or lied about their address. I have a feeling that the gun-thing last week at Gardena HS, was one of those students.

      Valley Schools have been trying to break off for decades. One of the reasons the San Fernando Valley wanted to succeed from Los Angeles is so it would strengthen their case when they created their own school district.

      “…Meanwhile, a grassroots movement to split the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) and create new San Fernando Valley-based school districts became the focal point of the desire to leave the city.”

      http://www.spiritus-temporis.com/san-fernando-valley/secession-movement.html

  37. *CC* says:

    Hi Khadija,

    I am among the few dissenters on this issue. I don’t want to diminish the effort that people expend to live in a certain neighborhood, but many people in those neighborhoods had assistance from their parents (i.e., assistance with downpayments, assistance with paying child care, financial assistance with schooling — therefore less debt — which is MORE money available to pay for a better neighborhood — it’s a cummulative effect.). Of course, this is perfectly LEGAL, but this country is not based simply on meritocracy. Many white people in nice neighborhoods are the beneficiaries of the white privilege that their parents and grandparents received, which includes HUGE economic benefits.

    This fact does not make this lady less guilty. But it is not as simple as “these people work hard and you don’t.” On the other hand, I completely agree that MOST AA’s mentality with regard to education and life is simply disasterous. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t comment on this issue — my daughter is in private school.

    • Hi CC,

      We agree to disagree about a couple of things; which is just fine! 🙂

      I’ll give my response to the points you’ve raised in an overall comment in response to dissenters.

      Expect Success!

    • Many white people in nice neighborhoods are the beneficiaries of the white privilege that their parents and grandparents received, which includes HUGE economic benefits.

      What about black people living in nice neighborhoods. I have no problem telling anyone that asks that I’m a bonafied north Alabama hillbilly. Rather than getting any financial benefit from my parents, for the most part I wound up supporting THEM. What about us? What about my neighbor who escaped the violence of Columbia in the 1990s? What about the elderly black couple down the street who lived through the Jim Crow south. All black folk aren’t poor and downtrodden and most of us had to work our southern heinies off to get here. I think it’s absolutely absurd to take from those of us who’ve done so to give to those who haven’t. Nobody cut this woman’s bootstraps. She was given subsidized housing, financial aid and goodness knows what other type assistance. She CHOSE to cut her own throat by committing a felony. So those of us who weren’t stupid are supposed to subsidize those that are? I don’t think so! Again, this need to “stick it to the man” is having grievous repercussions to black folk as well. Nobody’s ever paid the property taxes on my house but me. We can’t afford to live here either, but we make the necessary sacrifices to do so.

      • *CC* says:

        Hello Roslyn,

        What about us? I don’t get your point. Nobody pays my property taxes on my home but my husband and me. No one pays my child’s private school tuition but us. We pay mortgage, utilities, business taxes, and other costs associated with being grown.

        Rather than getting any financial benefit from my parents, I wound up assisting THEM financially as well. I took out student loans for undergrad and worked full-time for most of grad school. Working hard to get somewhere in life is nothing new.

        But there IS a context for so many predominantly white neighborhoods having better schools. Yes, parent involvement is huge, but white privilege plays a part. White privilege is NOT the same thing as black citizens working hard to get to where they are in life. White privilege is not meritocracy. I am simply making the point that everyone is not where they are simply because of hard work. It’s not that hard work is not a major factor, but people’s success DOES NOT EXIST IN A VACCUUM. For example, being connected to extremely beneficial networks is not meritocracy. I have seen less-qualified people receive opportunities because they are well-connected.

        If anyone takes a look a Census data, it is apparent that, while “all” black folk are not poor, poverty and a lack of economic resources are both serious issues among black people.

        I can only speak to my professional experiences – and that experience has shown me time and time again that they have an unearned economic and social advantage that “assists” their hard work. My hard work is my own, with no unearned societal “privilege.”

        • IRockIRoll says:

          While I “get” where you’re coming from on the privilege aspect, you do understand that the vast majority of white people are NOT giving up that privilege anytime soon right? Not with other minorities moving to America with college degrees already acquired in other countries and pushing white Americans out of the jobs that THEY thought they could comfortably keep. And as for white privilege? You can become a millionaire in this country simply by being a young white woman with a blonde dye job and a willingness to wear tight clothes. We ALREADY know this. So what’s new this time?

          Honestly, a large part of these dysfunctional schools (and their students) is a dysfunctional family life. Are people really about to argue that we can’t connect two and two together? You don’t have to be white to make sure your child goes to school, is well-behaved, and does not cause disruptions for other students in the class room. You don’t have to be white to make sure that your child isn’t in a gang. And in 2011, you don’t have to be white to move to another part of the county after you were told repeatedly to remove your children from a school system that they didn’t live in.

      • Melissa Q. says:

        many white people benefit from white privilege there are poor struggling whites also. Not everyone has the same starting point. There are people that are more poor and disadvantaged than any of us right now. Not everything is fair, you just have to deal with it and work through it. There is always an opportunity, opportunity is never monopolized.

  38. *A Word To The (Rational) Dissenters*

    (1) It’s not reasonable (or a good look) to expect other birds to come flying in to fix your nest.

    As an aside, I referred to the “Not Guilty” fool whose comments I let through as a “slave,” because that’s exactly what that individual is portraying: a helpless, hapless, powerless slave who assumes NO agency or responsibility for the things that s/he whines about.

    Note that this individual ended one of their comments with, “Fix the educational system.” Exactly who is that aggressive panhandling sort of demand addressed to? Notice that this individual is NOT assuming any responsibility for fixing her/his local schools. Nor is this person exploring any ideas for what s/he can do to “fix” her/his local schools. As with all traditional AA crybaby, aggressive-panhandler-style demands, fixing whatever is a responsibility and a task that AAs want to push off on somebody else.

    That’s a slave mentality that’s always looking for an outsider-“Massa” to come into our hovels, and fix various conditions that exist in our own exclusive AA environments. Let me break it down further:

    Why would a bird look for some OTHER bird to come flying in, and fix a nest that it does NOT live in? Each adult bird is responsible for its own nest.

    (2) It’s not reasonable to dump your eggs in some other bird’s nest. A nest that this other bird prepared for the benefit of their own offspring.

    To continue along with the bird/nest analogy…Ms. Williams-Bolar smugggled her eggs into another bird’s nest. A nest that other birds prepared for the benefit of their OWN offspring.

    (3) It’s a new day. AA’s Greatest Crybaby Hits (whining about double standards, knee-jerk emotional identification with criminals, looking for sympathy in the context of a failing economy, etc.) is PLAYED OUT.

    (a) AA crybabies can’t have it both ways. They can’t endlessly whine about racist double standards—and then do things (like committing crimes) that make themselves subject to those same racist double standards they already knew existed. AAs have been whining about double standards for decades (if not for over a century). So, AAs have been on notice for over a century that when we do something wrong, we’re NOT going to get the same type of consideration that the majority population gives to themselves.

    It’s not like we can claim to be surprised about these double standards’ existence. So, when an AA decides to break the law in an environment of double standards, then they’ve assumed the risk of being burned by those same double standards (they’ve been whining about).

    (b) AA crybabies’ “greatest hits” album of things to whine about is played out in the context of the Obama age, and a failing economy. NOBODY cares about that anymore. NOBODY is willing to entertain that whining anymore. Not in the context of an Obama era in which many nonblacks feel that the election of a Black (more or less) US President means that racism is officially over in the US. Not in the context of a failing economy.

    (4) It’s now the 21st century. Modern AA criminal defendants are NOT Rosa Parks or the Scottsboro boys. Those knee-jerk emotional assumptions are OBSOLETE. Its’ long past time for any AA who wants to survive and thrive to stop having the knee-jerk reaction of looking at modern-day AA criminal defendants and automatically seeing Rosa Parks and Emmett Till. That habitual reaction is obsolete. Modern AA criminals defendants are much more likely to be Dunbar Village Demons than Emmett Till. For your own and your loved ones’ safety, you need to recognize that.

    (5) Why do you assume that all AAs are broke-down objects of pity? Why is that the knee-jerk assumption, as opposed to assuming that another AA adult is a fully capable adult—like anybody else?

    It’s interesting. From the comments, it sounds like a lot of Ms. Williams-Bolar’s AA cheerleaders and defenders assume that she’s some broke-down, pathetic, helpless person who had no other options than what she chose to do. That seems to be what her Black fans see when they look at her.

    That’s not my assumption when I look at her. Instead, I see a fully-grown, adult woman who—out of various other available options & after being warned—CHOSE to continue running her scam. Ms. Williams-Bolar’s AA fans see a helpless, pitiful, powerless slave. I see an free, adult person with self-agency and the ability to make meaningful choices in her life. To blindly assume that all adult AAs are automatically helpless and powerless in any scenario is to assume that all AAs are inferior to other people.

    (6) Some of you are superimposing OBSOLETE cultural defensive, emotional baggage onto these situations. For example, the defensive cultural need to argue that some/many/all of the Whites who live in higher-performing school districts aren’t hard-working. Or don’t merit their enjoyment of the benefits of their nice neighborhoods. I believe that, at the end of the day, NONE of that matters.

    Whether a current White parent-resident in a good school district got financial help from their parents is irrelevant. The point is that somebody in that family’s bloodline PAID INTO creating the benefit that’s being enjoyed. Meanwhile, Ms. Williams-Bolar The Thief refused to pay into the benefit that she stole for her daughter. The primary distinction isn’t between hardworking and trifling (although that’s part of it). The primary distinction is between those who PAID into that good school district (through property tax dollars plus personal involvement) versus those who TOOK WITHOUT PAYING INTO that school district. It’s about payment versus theft.

    I believe this sort of “they’re not all hardworking—what about White/generational/inherited privilege” argument is rooted in the traditional AA cultural insecurity that needs to fend off the appearance of inferiority. AAs’ generally inferior performance is out there on front street for the entire world to see. Unlike the nonwhite immigrants who come to the US, AAs haven’t worked to develop a brand of being seen as hardworking and industrious.

    All of this looks bad, and so we want to try to play it off by arguing that the other folks who (one way or another) handled their business well enough to have a high-performing school district aren’t so great. The problem is that the “they’re not all hardworking—what about White/generational/inherited privilege” argument does NOT remove the bad smell from AAs’ easily-observed collective behaviors and failures.

    In the Age of Obama, that type of argument is increasingly obsolete. Furthermore, those arguments won’t be well-received by the emerging Latino and Asian elites in this country who have their own sob stories—and yet prevailed to become the new elite.

    I would strongly urge any AA who wants to survive and thrive in this 21st century to stop singing those various played out, obsolete AA crybaby songs. And to stop superimposing emotional baggage from Rosa Parks’ era onto current day events.

    Expect Success!

  39. Miss S says:

    Khadija-

    Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago, and I like it.
    I do have to disagree with you on one point. If someone is a leech for not paying the property taxes in a given area, then everyone who rents in that district would be considered a leech. If she did rent in that area, she still wouldn’t be paying property taxes. (At least, that’s how it works here).

    It’s also my umderstanding that the grandfather did own a home in that district, which makes me wonder why she didn’t just move in with her father.

    Part of me agrees with what you’ve said, but the other part sees a woman who’s at least trying which is more than I can say for some parents. Alot of parents from low income neighborhoods don’t see the value in a good education. It seems as though she was trying to change her circumstance, and make sure her child didn’t end up in the same one… and went about it in the wrong way.
    3

    • Hello there, Miss S,

      I’m happy you found the blog! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words; I truly appreciate it.

      You said, “I do have to disagree with you on one point. If someone is a leech for not paying the property taxes in a given area, then everyone who rents in that district would be considered a leech. If she did rent in that area, she still wouldn’t be paying property taxes. (At least, that’s how it works here).”

      I disagree. The renter is indirectly paying into the property taxes collected for the building the renter lives in. The renter is paying rent to the building owner. The building owner is using at least part of that rent money to pay the property taxes for that building.

      You said, “Part of me agrees with what you’ve said, but the other part sees a woman who’s at least trying which is more than I can say for some parents.”

      I see a woman who smuggled her egg into some other birds’ nest. A nest that she made zero contributions toward building and maintaining. I don’t sympathize with her. At all. She had multiple available choices other than defrauding the taxpayers of that school district.

      Expect Success!

  40. Thank you for giving me a brand new way to look at this case. I wasn’t sure why this didn’t sit well with me: I thought the punishment was harsh and that she was only trying to give her children a better education. But your points are absolutely valid, and I wholeheartedly agree with your position. As a taxpayer with no children, my money goes to support an education system that neither I nor my offspring use. But I’d not be pleased if I knew that someone’s kids are going to schools that my neighbors and I pay for. And on top of it all, she was given adequate time to withdraw her children from the school, and to see how she could legally keep the children enrolled.

    Nope, not sympathizing with her at all.

  41. Faith says:

    I haven’t read the comments yet, but I’m certain the sentiment has been expressed. While she may be the subject of a railroading, we know how harsh black women who “color outside the lines” will be treated. My first thoughts were that I bet she was an unmarried/abandoned in some sort of woman. Then I read that she still resided in a project area and I had to sigh but I wasn’t riding the rescue wave of outrage. Who we associate with WILL come back to bite us in the you-know-what. It’s a shame it’s her own father but there will be no sympathy or exceptions for us. I think it’s time we figured this out and protect ourselves accordingly. The Ride-or-Die for other folks’ mentality will certainly result in OUR death not theirs. Especially if they can step over us or sell us out to avoid being discomforted. It’s a real shame. I’m glad you posted on this because I was too fatigued to sort this one out. I’m just tired of reading these stories…so basically I didn’t.

  42. MissGlamtastic(Tia),

    You’re welcome! Even though I know better intellectually, I’m still always shocked to see how deeply entrenched this “get over,” Something For Nothing mindset is among AAs. So many AAs are deranged enough to get offended and angry when others insist that we pay our own way in life. That’s a downright crazy attitude.
    ____________________________________________

    Faith,

    What railroading? I don’t see any railroading. As far as I’m concerned, it was extremely kind and compassionate of them to give her a warning and an opportunity to avoid heavy-duty consequences. They had NO obligation to do any of that.

    What has to happen for more AAs to understand that when you’re breaking the law, then you’re NOT entitled to helpful hints and time to clean up your lawbreaking? When you’re breaking the law, then the government is perfectly entitled to arrest you as soon as they catch you breaking the law. They don’t have to warn you. They don’t have to tell you—you already know that you’re doing something wrong! And finally, they don’t have to give you an opportunity to clean up whatever illegal mess you’re doing.

    They were kind enough to give Ms. Williams-Bolar those sorts of opportunities to avoid serious consequences, and she rejected those opportunities…Bump her. She got what she arrogantly brought down on her own head.

    Expect Success!

    • Faith says:

      I hadn’t read through the details of the case when I commented. It had been intentionally misleading by some accounts though I believe that’s been sorted out now. Like I said the story reeked to me from many levels. I get it now..thanks!

  43. pioneervalleywoman says:

    CC:
    I don’t want to diminish the effort that people expend to live in a certain neighborhood, but many people in those neighborhoods had assistance from their parents…which is MORE money available to pay for a better neighborhood…Of course, this is perfectly LEGAL, but this country is not based simply on meritocracy. Many white people in nice neighborhoods are the beneficiaries of the white privilege that their parents and grandparents received, which includes HUGE economic benefits.

    This fact does not make this lady less guilty…On the other hand, I completely agree that MOST AA’s mentality with regard to education and life is simply disasterous. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t comment on this issue — my daughter is in private school.

    My reply:

    I’m glad you mentioned this, your quandary over the situation. But you might think of some other aspects of this. Other women wrote here about their youth in relatively well-to-do communities and the grief they got from children bused in from less well-to-do communities. Isn’t it possible that those same type of arguments you make in the name of critiquing white privilege might apply when others look at your life?

    That is why I hesitate to make those sorts of claims. Plenty of black people who live middle class (and even more elite lives) got there if not because of their own efforts (as R. Holcomb mentioned) but because of their parents’ and grandparents’ efforts.

    So the very arguments they made against whites could be used to put them on the defensive when Shenayna’s kids accost their children: “you think you are better;” “you are privileged, etc.”

    This critiquing of privilege only amounts to class envy, as the women posting here noted, an attempt to bring people down for no reason other than the circumstances of their birth, as though they got some unfair advantage that they should be ashamed of, if they came from stable family backgrounds.

    • *CC* says:

      Hello Pioneervalleywoman,

      Interesting. My critique has nothing to do with “shaming” others. I don’t think that people who were born “of means” should be ashamed or feel guilty or apologize. They have done nothing wrong and should be grateful for their unearned advantage! But they should acknowledge that CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THEIR CONTROL contributed to their success and where they are in life.

      Here is a scenario: I know for a fact that I have worked harder than person X, but person X is far a head of me professionally because their parents are well-connected and helped them land a million dollar contract. All I am saying is that person X should not turn up their nose at me because I can’t afford a $30,000/yr private school and they can, because quite frankly, my EFFORT (merit) has FAR exceeded theirs, but they simply have better connections.

      They should NOT feel bad and they should not apologize. That’s life. However, they should not LOOK DOWN on me or presume that I’d be farther along if I worked harder. I am up til 2 in the morning working on proposals, and they are picking up the phone 2 in the afternoon, speaking to the right people, and getting contracts. They are not wrong, but it doesn’t make me less of a hard worker. Then again, I realize that this particular scenario does not apply to the lady in question. It sounds like she had other choices.

  44. YMB says:

    Hi Khadija,

    Moments before read your response to the rational dissenters I glimpsed a news article referring to Ms. Williams-Bolar as the “Rosa Parks of Education”. Some other misguided or bad-faith fool referred to her as Harriet Tubman. I can’t believe this obstinate thief is being celebrated as a freedom fighter.

    From what I have read, her comments have only been about having her children go to that school district because she was worried about their safety and did not want them to be home alone after school. Other people have rushed in and framed it as an issue of her wanting a better education for her children and of school segregation. If the neighborhood was so bad, why not move out? Surely it can’t be any safer at night and on the weekends. I think the fact that she has subsidized housing had much to do with it.

    I also find it curious that no mention is made of her children’s grades while they were in attendance at the school. If they were straight A students, I doubt these authors who frame it as an injustice would miss the opportunity to say how her children excelled in that school district.

    I am not sympathetic over her having been charged with a felony and being barred from getting state certification as a teacher. She has already shown herself to be lacking in morals. I would not want her teaching my children, if I had any.

    Also, since some folks think that Ms. Williams-Bolar was a valid movement against injustice, what do they think the solution should be? Should school districts be abolished altogether and all the property taxes go into one big pot with all schools getting an equal share? Keep things the same but let people drive their kids into any district they want with impunity? If the schools need to be fixed, who broke them? Was it the teachers’ union that demanded social promotion and prevented parents from being involved in the schools?

    I recently read an article, Flinching from the Tiger Mom where the author compares academic performance and attitudes about education amongst the races. The author cites studies that showed, “African-American kids reported the highest importance on education, followed by Asian-Americans, then Latinos, with Whites dragging down the bottom.”

    If AAs value education more than any other group, then why do our children perform so poorly as a group? The same study gives a big clue: “In an analysis of 9 schools in California and Wisconsin involving over 23,000 high school students, the lowest grade the average Asian-American kid said they could get without their Mom giving them trouble was, indeed, an A-. Whites said B-. African-American’s usually lower.”

    So AA parents think education is more important but yet have lower expectations and, as we already know, are typically uninvolved in their children’s education. SMH at the something for nothing and magical thinking mindset.

    • Neecy says:

      Ok I was one of the people who sympathized with her sentencing. but i can say i am annoyed at this latest move to lable her as a Rosa Parks and all that other craziness. This is why i am so bothered by this case being national news. Too much silliness for the crazies (liberals, racists, Al Sharptonites, etc). LOL. this should have been LOCAL news.

      i am bothered by the school district taking two years to fix the problem. She obviously wasn’t budging after the 2nd warning and should have been handled legally THEN. Not 2 years later. Its obvious the warnings were not that severe b/c she ignored them. If I were a parent there i would be pissed not at the woman (b/c you can’t expect certain things from people who always try to get over) but at the school distrct for allowing this nonsense to carry on for that long.

      MY thoughts on the solution is the residents living within the zones and the better schools need to be more active at creating ways to make it very difficult for things like this to happen. Its their right. They PAY their hard earned money to send their kids to better schools and should not have to carry others kids whose parents don’t pay and sacrifice to live in the better neighborhoods. My sympathizing with her is NOT about me agreeing her kids should be able to attend the district or not even that she should not be punished. But the school districts have been too laxed over the last couple of deacades on this issue and this is the price they are going to keep paying for being too laxed. i still don’t feel this woman should be made as a poster child for cases like this b/c it happens all the time in every state and every good neighborhood. Usually not in areas that are really upscale but in upper middle class areas this is a BIIIG issue.

      I also agreed that her teaching license should be revoked. She violated SCHOOL LAWS and therefore should not be allowed to teach. that’s a no brainer. However, i don’t agree she should have a felony on her record. take her teaching certificate, garnish her wages for the back pay she owes to the school, if she can’t pay make her do community service and put her on probation.

      The solution lies within the parents and the school officials in such communities to create better ways to avoid problems like this. The people sending htier kids intot he school districts cannot be depended on to make the right decisions. They are going to do what as much as they can get away with. And this woman got a looong rope before they did anything. Sending a monthly bill to low income parents ushering their kids into their district is backwards. Do they think they are really going to pay without legal intervention? LOL Why wait 2 1/2 years until the bill reaches 30k before you do something about it? Hmmmmm

  45. KM says:

    I’m just taking notes from this situation. I have no sympathy for Ms. Williams-Bolar at all but I know that this type of situation is about to play out with a school near where I work. It’s a Philadelphia public school, an excellent school but it’s not a lottery school. The homes near it go for close to half a million dollars now and people want to live here to get their children into this school. Problem is, there are people who are cheating to get their kids in (AA parents). They don’t have a problem with poor kids coming to school here, the lines are set up so that poorer children can attend and they do (African and other minorities.) But the bulk of the AAs are cheating to get in (claiming false addresses, P.O. Boxes as addresses, etc. and bragging about it!) while there are a minority who legitimately live in the neighborhood.

    The numbers of children attending the school are rising to such levels where people are waiting from midnight the night before to be able to register their children in kindergarten at this school.

    I can see the people getting aggressive about making sure that EVERYONE who attends this school lives within the borders. And the people in the neighborhood have the money and power to make sure this happens even when people start claiming racism.

  46. I also wanted to add for those who think no one suffers from what this woman did, you know the old “victimless crime” argument, let’s look at my situation:

    We bought our house in 2008. Like most parents we looked very closely at the schools we’d be zoned to, and paid the premium price to get into a decent school district. Well, now they’re talking about redistricting because the schools in my area are overcrowded while they have a surplus of seats in the southern part of the county. What does that mean for us? If we’re zoned out of this school district our property could depreciate in value significantly. Possibly to the point that we could be upside down on our mortgage. My child would be forced to attend a substandard school even though his parents have paid to live in this district. The options available to us are all very grim. We can try to sell our house in a recession probably not even getting enough to cover the mortgage. Then we’d be trying to buy a new house with no equity. Or we could rent an apartment, or try to cough up $20k per child for private school. Presumably this school district in Ohio was being proactive in trying to prevent this occurrence and I applaud their diligence. I wish my school district had enough sense to do the same.

    The Ms. Williams-Bolars if this world don’t give two hoots about how her behavior impacts me and MY CHILD, nor do I expect them to. They’re deranged, low-class individuals. But I’m gravely disappointed that supposedly normal people fail to see how damaging this behavior is to law-abiding tax-paying citizens.

    • Lynn says:

      Roselyn, my sympathies lie with you and people who are in a similiar situation. It’s outrageous that people in low-class areas think it is fine to steal resources in better end communities.

      People are saying that poor districts are underfunded. I say, during segregation, Black people had much less. We still managed to give our kids quality educations. As a collective, we actually cared about our kids’ education. In affluent neighborhoods you have mothers volunteering for some of the work, thus the school does not have to pay for everything. Therefore, you have even more resources for the children.

      The underclass’s problem is they do not CARE to improve their collective situation. A lot of their school’s problems could be taken care of if there was more parental involvement, pooling of their resources, etc. Yet what you see are complainers, demands for others to “fix” the system, no involvement, and people mooching off others. It’s time for sane Black people to speak up and distance ourselves from them.

  47. Neecy says:

    You also won’t believe that this stuff not only happends with school and educatoin but in hospitals too.

    my friend is a nurse at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles (its borderline beverly hills). She works in the delivery unit. Cedars is one of the busiest hospitals for delivering babies. Technically you are supposed to have your child delivered in the closest hospital to your zone. My friend said as usual Black folks figure out ways to get over. She says a lot of the BW (from low income areas)come in having babies at Cedars knowing they should have been at the hospital in their zones (which are usually in lower class areas). Its so commonly done, that they finally figured out how they get away with it.

    There is a big mall right next to Cedars called the Beverly center. She said what they do is act like “just happened to be at the mall and started having contractions” and then come to Cedars to get the specialized treatment they may not get at the hospitals and clinics in their neighborhoods. Of course they cannot turn them away once they are so close to delivering so the hospital has to take them.

    The problem is that Cedars is already a very busy hospital b/c its in the heart of West los Angeles. so when people outside the zones start coming in it adds to the pressure and places more work on the nurses in the unit. That is not a good thing. They also should not have to turn away people who live in the zones b/c Shaniqua and nem want to get specilzed treatment at a better hospital.

    The other problem. my friend said that these BW are the worse when it comes to demanding things. They know the kinds of good services they get at hospitals like Cedards and are the main ones upping the ante with the demands. She said they have the NERVE to be the worse most demanding patients. LOL!

    Its just really a bad look all around. it sends the message that instead of Blacks trying to make things better within their own communites (or doing what they need to do to be able to enjoy the accomodations and services that people within certian communities have to pay for through higher taxes etc) they want to come and eat up everyone else’s resources – things and acoomodatoins that people pay to have b/c they pay to live in the nicer areas.

    • Faith says:

      I might get my hand slapped but if I lived in LA in closer proximity than the Valley I’d be trying to get into Cedar Sinai as well because it’s one of the best hospitals in the state. They closed Charles Drew in the hood didn’t they? What are the other options? I used to live there by the way. What’s the next closest hospital?

  48. Monique says:

    Interesting discussion and comments with this post.

    First, let me say that as a collective Black people (BP) exhibit a slave mentality. I completely agree withe Khadija on this point.

    Black folk have a “imma get over” mentality whereby they believe that they don’t have to work hard or sacrifice for the things they desire, yet they hate on and are envious of others esp. other Blacks who do work hard and sacrifice for the things they have obtained/accomplished.

    This woman, Ms. Williams-Bolar, knew better. She knew that what she was doing was essentially illegal. She was warned and was given the opportunity to remedy her infraction by withdrawing her children from the school or paying a fine. She choose to do neither. Now she has to pay the piper. If you break the law and you get caught you will have to be punished, that’s just common sense.

    She could have choosen more wisely in regards to where she lived, she could have eaten humble pie and just withdrew her kids, she could have saved her money and tried to get her children in a private school in her own school district if the public schools were bad until she could afford to move to the district with the better school. Yes, it would be trying and difficult, but that is life sometimes. It’s easy to sneak around and connive and steal to get what you want and rationalize it away, it’s much harder to do the work and make the sacrifices for the things you want. But ultimately, by working hard and making the sacrifices, you build character and earn respect because you’ve choosen to make a way for yourself. THAT’S what being FREE means. It measn putting in the effort, making the sacrifices, going the extra mile, above and beyond to achieve a goal. Knowing that you are beyond reproach because you’ve paid what you owed so to speak.

    What kind of example has she shown her children? what kind of morality and ethical conduct has she impressed upon them? That it’s ok to lie and cheat and steal to get what you want in life and bitch and cry that everyone is being unfair to you when you get caught? Is THAT really the message she wanted to send to her children?

    Just because she is a BW doesn’t automatically gives her a pass to engage in what is ultimately an illegal and fraudulent act or that she should be somehow sheilded from the consequences of her illegal actions. Holding oneself to high standards and expectations and maintaining such is an essential part of being a truly free person.

  49. Mwatuangi says:

    You know, this is hilarious to me. While I do agree that what she did was wrong, I do not agree that she “deserves” a felony for the crime. Ironically, many of the comments on this site and numerous others covering the case are using the same tired old classist language to malign this woman. It was bad enough when Ronald Reagan invented the AA “welfare queen” stereotype that controls our society’s perception of poor AA women, but it’s simply deplorable when our community perpetuates and accepts such labels.

    First off, this woman lived in an impoverished region while attempting to go to school and become a teacher. Anyone who’s actually done research beyond that which the media has presented will know this. Also, the ENTIRE district of Akron public schools is under-performing by state standards. Should we thank NCLB or the shady and disparate funding system of Ohio, which has been declared unconstitutional by the state Supreme Court four times? Oh and they’ve changed alot.

    In 1997, when the Supreme Court first declared their funding system for school districts – which is based heavily on property tax revenue – unconstitutional, Ohio paid for about 45% of a child’s education based on this system. A decade later in 2007 (since the case involves her children’s 2006-07 school year in Copley-Fairlawn) the state of Ohio paid 45.5%. But that’s not the worst, and arguably what I’m going to get into next is the crux of the racial if not class elements of this case.

    In Akron, statistics from the 2000 census claim that about 67%-70% of the population is Caucasian. Yet, according to 2010 school report card records obtained, over 90% of the students enrolled in both schools her children would’ve attended in Akron are Afrikan American! Out of that same group, an unsurprising 90-93% were also classified as economically disadvantaged. All this despite the overwhelming “Caucasian” majority population? Can someone say “redlining”, or to be more specific, “exclusionary zoning?”

    How do these numbers compare to Copley-Fairlawn, or the schools her children attended there? Only 13% of those enrolled were Afrikan American, and only about 16% of those enrolled altogether were disadvantaged. Ironically, when the school district first began it’s manhunt for “people not from this area”, they offered $100 bounties merely on heresay – a concerned citizen did not have to provide evidence, merely a phone call – and, due unsurprisingly to their majority white population, over half of the “suspects” investigated also happened to be AA. Of course, any impoverished parent or “welfare queen” with common sense would want access to schools that perform as well as those in the neighboring district, although it doesn’t make sense considering that Copley-Fairlawn doesn’t have poverty-based adjustments and Akron does? SMH

    But tossing the racial elements aside, it’s obvious there are serious class correlations and disparities to this matter, as shown by viewing any map of that district. Because of Ohio’s skewed system of funding, richer communities like those of Copley-Fairlawn will always receive more money than that of the district in which Williams-Bolar lives, and this will only lead to children in that district literally being financially enslaved to a subpar education due to lost funds either because of student transfers or the already inferior condition of their schools’ scholastic performances.

    The state still has done nothing to fix this problem, and like any parent concerned not only for their children’s safety and well-being she made an illegal, difficult decision. Knowing how slanted and unconstitutional Ohio’s system is should encourage people to view her case in a new light and question the politicians that care more about ensuring money than the value of a child’s education.
    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    [Khadija speaking: Mwatuangi, you just don’t get it. I could write an entire book in response to the tired, intellectually dishonest political cliches that you’ve written. But it’s just not worth that kind of energy. So, I’ll try to summarize:

    You said, “Ironically, many of the comments on this site and numerous others covering the case are using the same tired old classist language to malign this woman. It was bad enough when Ronald Reagan invented the AA “welfare queen” stereotype that controls our society’s perception of poor AA women, but it’s simply deplorable when our community perpetuates and accepts such labels.”

    I notice that your comment is from an academic account. Have you ever spent any sustained amount of time in the real world—in the trenches—dealing with, or servicing, the AA underclass? From what you’re saying, I doubt it. Unlike the legions of armchair theorists…armchair class warriors…and armchair revolutionaries, in the past I actually spent years out of my professional life serving the AA underclass.

    Anybody who has had sustained, ongoing contact with the AA underclass knows that the “welfare queen” description is NOT a myth or an invention of Ronald Reagan. Unfortunately, it’s all too real and all too common. Everybody else in this country (who aren’t wearing ideological blinders like most AAs) can see the AA welfare queens. They can also see the destruction these welfare queens and their spawn bring to any area they invade—by way of Section 8 and other programs that have destroyed more than a few previously decent AA neighborhoods. In the Chicago area, the influx of AA welfare queens (via Section 8 vouchers) destroyed previously nice AA neighborhoods such as Chatham and South Shore. The violent deaths and destruction these welfare queens and their spawn brought to these areas is not a myth, nor an invention of Ronald Reagan. Which brings me to my next point.

    Of course, Whites in Akron, other parts of Ohio, and the rest of the US will do whatever they have to do to protect their children from being exposed to “Sheniqua’s” underperforming, and often-violent spawn! Other people are NOT going to sacrifice their children’s educational experience or physical safety to cater to AA slaves.

    NOBODY in their right mind—who loves their children—wants their children around “Sheniqua’s” spawn. And it’s not just Whites who love their children enough to protect them from being trapped in the same school with “Sheniqua’s” spawn. In the Chicago area, equally poor Mexicans will do whatever they have to do (double up in the public schools in their neighborhoods, have mobile classrooms built, scrape up the money for private/Catholic school, etc.) to keep their children from being exposed to “Sheniqua’s” spawn (and their various pathologies).

    You said, “The state still has done nothing to fix this problem . . .”

    Didn’t you catch the hint from what happened before, during and after Katrina? If not, why not? The government . . . “the state”. . . has washed its hands of taking care of its AA former slaves. Various state and municipal governments are broke or in the process of going broke. Don’t you know this? If not, why don’t you know this? Where have you been? Fantasy Island really needs to be nuked, before it’s too late.

    The day that Elijah Muhammad warned AA slaves about many decades ago has finally come. Various state and municipal governments, in addition to the federal government, are telling slaves: “Say farewell to welfare…” Another part of this is that AAs have a long tradition of buying what we want and then begging for what we need. That day is coming to an end.

    Finally, it’s clear that too many AAs have a romanticized view of the AA underclass and poor. Mwatuangi, I would respectfully suggest that you leave the nice, sanitized world of lecture halls for a minute, get in the trenches with the AA underclass and poor, and then report back on what you discover about them after you’ve spent some quality time around them.]

    • Lynn says:

      THIS is the reason why I will never have children in America. The constant coddling of the ABC crew is disgusting. Unfortunately the Black underclass is the majority of AAs in America so I fear there will come a day when ALL Black people will be tarred with the same brush. I realize my solution is not the solution for every BW, but it works for me. I’m looking to secure citizenship in a country that does not carry the same stereotypical grudges against Black folk. I would suggest younger women actively seek out foreign partners who still retain their citizenship will their home country. This day of reckoning is almost here!
      I’m 35 y/o, no children, have an engineering degree, own my own home and residential property, wear a size 8….still when I attempt to form personal relationships one question that comes up frequently is do me and my two brothers all have the same dad? WTH??? (we do). Since when did that become a normal qustion to ask? I’ve wannabe g/fs both Black and white, men who I dated, all sorts of people ask me this when they feel a certain comfort level is reached and we’re discussing our backgrounds. My point is already no matter our income/social level, people are already associating certain pathologies with ALL BW. I would like to know if other BW are experiencing similiar even when in better/ functioning/ middle class/ mixed ethnic circles?

  50. Sasha P says:

    Hello,

    I read here constantly but don’t ever comment. I always feel like what I have to say has already been said and much more eloquently than I can say it.

    But I posted this article to a friend’s facebook wall and we got into a discussion about it. He’s your typical “black community = black males interests” only type and took offense to what you said here about Networking, I’m not surprised.

    Anyway, I wanted to say that I agree with what you’ve written here. I used to read over at the Muslim Bushido too. I think that it is so sad how people are so quick to misappropriate the legacy of black female legends and their hard work and real danger. This woman is no hero! She had babies before she was prepared to care for them, she isn’t married (I haven’t seen anything that said she was ever married) did nothing to secure a future or hell even just a safe and secure present for her children. Why is it that folks do the wrong thing FIRST then try to navigate the system for little cracks so they can attempt to remedy their situation?