Almost 3 months ago, I issued a challenge to you:

So, in the spirit of the annual national Turn Off The TV Week, I’m asking you to tune out neutral, low-value, and no-value Black men this week. I don’t just mean the toxic or damaged Black men. I’m talking about tuning out ALL Black men who aren’t contributing something of value to your life. This includes the neutral Black men who aren’t doing anything against you, but they’re also not doing anything for you.

These neutral Black men are not checking for you. Why are you always checking for them? Your habit of paying attention to these noncontributing, neutral Black men is blocking many of you from paying attention to the non-Black men in your environment that could (and would) benefit you. Halima, blog host of Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle, has done a recent post containing a link about this behavior pattern.

I want more African-American women to realize how this is completely out of touch with normal female behavior. The overall, timeless human pattern is that normal women respond only to the extent that a man looks and acts fit, willing, and able to be of some benefit to her. There’s a word for women who grin and skin at indifferent-acting, neutral men: GROUPIES.

Most of you already know how to tune out noncontributing women. But you continue checking for, and responding to, noncontributing Black men.

I understand that many of you have been conditioned to always hop and skip toward, pay attention to, and respond to any and all Black men that come your way. Regardless of these men’s indifferent (or even negative) behavior toward you. I’m asking you to take the first step to breaking the habit this week. I’m asking you to take back your peace of mind. This week I’m asking you to tune-out the Black men who contribute nothing of value to your life:

Don’t talk to noncontributing Black men this week. If you’re in a work or similar setting where it would create problems not to respond to a noncontributing Black male, keep your responses as brief as possible.

If for some reason, you must (briefly) interact with a noncontributing Black man this week, don’t look into his eyes. Instead, look at a point near the top of his forehead. The eyes are a window into the soul. Looking into someone’s eyes draws you further into the interaction.

Don’t read noncontributing Black men’s blogs this week.

Don’t read news reports about noncontributing Black men this week.

Don’t talk about the thoughts, views, or activities of noncontributing Black men this week.

Tuning out useless people helps give us time to think, read, create, and do the healthier things we never have time for. Tuning out such individuals reduces the stress in our lives. It creates room in our lives for better people, places, ideas and things.

Here are my questions for those who participated

• After the first week of tuning out useless people, did you work to make this a permanent habit? Why or why not?
• Have you reduced the amount of attention you give to useless people? Why or why not?
• Or have you gravitated back to avidly following what useless people are saying and doing? Why or why not?

CHOOSING TO ACCEPT MISTREATMENT . . . IS A CHOICE

This is probably the last time I’m going to address the issue of the bigoted, Black-skinned foreigners that like to verbally abuse African-Americans. From my perspective, the problem isn’t these abusive, racist Black immigrants. The problem is that many African-Americans have no ethnic self-respect and are looking for validation from outsiders. That’s why they let these racist (Black and non-Black) immigrants abuse them. This came up because I recently received an email from a reader that I had originally planned to ignore. I’m getting tired of listening to African-Americans whine about the mistreatment they choose to accept from others. But it occurred to me that there might be other readers who have similar preoccupations as that one particular reader. Here’s part of the email that I received,

Hello. I feel so powerless sometimes because I don’t know how to deal with all this judgement form other non-black and the rest of the world….both as a an african american female and an african american period. People are always going out of their way to let us know about all of our failures. Even in your blogs….every now an then I will read a non-AA person refer to us as stupid or slow. Its funny alot of these same people want to be treated with respect and care. They make excuses for their own mess but judge ours without a speck of mercy. It makes me sad at times. I’ve heard one african woman say AA women are a disgrace to mother africa. I’ve had african men hit on me with sex as the intent. I’ve also seen some african rub post slavery truama in our face….you know…you don’t have a culture or an identity. You’re just a slave and I’m african blah blah blah. Sometimes it really hurts my feelings when they make fun of our truama. There are some sick african who make fun of us when we come to them for answers and acceptance.

I stopped reading at this point, because I’m annoyed by statements that register as whining (I’ll get to the reasons why later on). Let me take it from the top:

BEFORE THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT, WHITE AMERICANS WERE ADAMANT ABOUT KEEPING NON-WHITE IMMIGRANTS OUT OF THIS COUNTRY

For me, the starting point of any squabble with non-White, non-European immigrants is the fact that my people’s Civil Rights Movement led to, and influenced, the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. Prior to African-Americans’ Civil Rights Movement, White Americans were quite clear about keeping non-Europeans out of this country. The bulk of these Black-skinned bigots the reader is whining about wouldn’t even have been allowed into our country if it wasn’t for our people’s civil rights movement. This is one of several things we need to remind these people about when they get out of pocket.

One of the few good things about the post-9/11 environment is that it made White Americans rethink their open door policy with these non-White immigrants. And considering how many of these non-White immigrants are either anti-Black racists, or Black anti-African-American racists, I say “Good riddance to bad trash” whenever they’re deported. This is why I’m less offended by the government’s anti-Muslim crackdown than I ordinarily would be—because I want the racist, anti-Black Somalis, Arabs and Pakistanis OUT of this country. I’ve seen these people and their attitudes at the mosque. I don’t shed any tears for most of them who are hassled or deported. Most of them can’t leave this country fast enough for me.

I also want some of these other anti-African-American, foreign Black bigots deported as well. (I didn’t mention the Somalis in the “Black” category because many Somalis like to believe that they’re not Black. Whatever.) Even though White America’s current anti-Muslim frenzy affects me too, it’s worth it to me if it gets these racist other people deported. I want them gone.

IMMIGRANTS ARE NOT A REPRESENTATIVE CROSS-SECTION OF THEIR SOCIETIES—IDIOTS TEND TO STAY AT HOME

Immigrants represent a skewed portion of their societies—the most energetic people. Most people don’t have the courage and energy to get up and leave their home country. Immigration often has the effect of skimming off large portions of the cream of a society. Low-level knuckleheads tend to stay at home, and therefore out of sight of Americans. This is how immigrants get to hide large chunks of their culture’s dirty laundry from outside eyes because, for examples—Delroy The West Indian Idiot never left the Caribbean, and Nnamdi The Nigerian Idiot never left Nigeria.

Meanwhile, DeShawn The African-American Idiot is on full display on “front street” in his home country, the United States. So, everybody who immigrates to the US can easily see and hear what DeShawn The African-American Idiot is doing on the local television news.

AFRICAN-AMERICANS ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE NAIVE ENOUGH TO “LET IT ALL HANG OUT”

African-Americans are the only people who are naive and foolish enough to “let it all hang out.” Other people tend to hide their culture’s dysfunctions. In other words, most non-African-American Blacks will minimize, gloss over, or tell lies about the problems within their own societies. For one example, East Africans generally aren’t going to tell you that albino people are hunted down like animals in some of their countries. They’re not going to talk about the Red Cross report cited by CNN,

As many as 10,000 albinos are in hiding in east Africa over fears that they will be dismembered and their body parts sold to witchdoctors, the Red Cross said in a recent report.

The killings of albinos in Burundi and Tanzania, who are targeted because their body parts are believed to have special powers, have sparked fears among the population in the two countries, the report said.

Body parts of albinos are sought in some regions of Africa because they are believed to bring wealth and good luck. Attackers chop off limbs and pluck out organs to sell to dealers, who in turn sell them to witchdoctors.

And West Africans aren’t going to tell you about the numbers of children being tortured and murdered after being accused of witchcraft in countries such as Nigeria,

Sam runs Child’s Rights & Rehabilitation Network, or CRARN — an orphanage that supports nearly 200 children. All of them were accused of witchcraft and cast out by their families, often after being tortured. The orphanage provides security, healthcare, nutrition and counseling.

Godwin’s story is typical. As he sat next to the quiet 5-year-old, Sam said that after Godwin’s mother died, the church pastor told his family that “Godwin is responsible.”

From his own investigation, questioning Godwin and talking with neighbors, Sam said that when a relative asked Godwin if he was a witch, “he said no and was beaten and made the confession that he actually killed the mother.”

Sam said Godwin was locked up with his mother’s corpse every night for three weeks with little food or water before a neighbor contacted Sam, who was able to rescue him.

Other children at his orphanage bear the scars of being beaten, attacked with boiling water, and cuts from machetes. But these children are the ones lucky to be alive.

“A child witch is said to be a witch when that child possessed with certain spiritual spells capable of making that child transform into cat, snake, vipers, insects, any other animal and that child is capable of wreaking havoc like killing of people, bringing diseases, misfortune into the family,” Sam said.

“When a child is accused of being a witch — that child is hated absolutely by everybody surrounding him so such children are sent out of the home… But unfortunately such children do not always live long. A lot of them, they’re either killed, abandoned by the parents, tortured in the church or trafficked out of the city.”

Sam doesn’t believe in witchcraft and is trying to raise awareness in local communities now gripped by hysteria.

If they can’t deny and outright lie about the atrocities going on in their home countries, many of the Africans you’ll encounter will try to characterize their various cultures’ dysfunctions as the result of war. Umm . . . no. It’s not just racist brainwashing that makes many Western Blacks want to distance themselves from Africa. The harsh reality is that there are some utterly disgusting and repellent aspects to various indigenous African cultures. Things that have nothing to do with war. Things that nobody in their right mind would ever want to cosign.

I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care, how prevalent these depraved practices are in those particular countries. Any is too many. Anything more than a handful of people doing these sorts of things says something extremely ugly about a particular culture. The bottom line is that significant numbers of Africans are doing things that nobody else does in large numbers (like hunting down and dismembering albino people). It’s similar to how significant numbers of African-Americans are doing things that nobody else does in large, mass numbers. [Such as the widespread modern African-American cultural practice of males refusing to support, and abandoning, their children.] Healthy people don’t want to be associated with deranged and depraved cultural practices.

So, I don’t blame foreign Blacks for hiding their cultural dysfunction. It’s normal to want to present your own people in the best possible light. As African-Americans, we’re the ones who are doing something abnormal when we publicly put our dysfunctions on display. Part of the reason we do this is because we have the bad mental habit of looking for pity parties; looking for other people to feel sorry for us. Dear Reader Who Sent Me The Above Email, this is the primary reason why I was annoyed by your email.

PITY PARTY = DEATH

African-Americans need to get it through our heads once and for all that other people don’t and won’t feel sorry for us. They don’t and won’t have mercy or compassion for us. When we seek pity parties, all we do is increase their contempt for us. We invite contempt by looking for pity parties. As I said during a conversation at the previous blog,

I know it’s very hard for many of us to accept this, but let’s review the realities of pity parties:

Nobody “owes” us anything, including compassion.

Nobody cares about AA women.

Since they don’t care, they’re NOT going to feel compassion in response to these self-stigmatizing pity parties.

Instead, many people feel increased contempt for those caught up in the pity party.

Other people are annoyed by the pity parties because they have their own tragedies that they are NOT whining about. They figure “If I have to ’suck it up’ and keep moving, why should I be bothered with this other individual’s whining?”

Even those (few) people who are kind enough to feel compassion have other, additional reactions: concern about how unbalanced the pity partier might be; and a desire to be FAR AWAY from the potentially extremely mentally ill pity partier.

The bottom line is that this “Weep for us overweight AA women. Weep for us because we’re mostly suffering from emotional-physical-sexual abuse” banner is extremely stigmatizing. Folks think they’re going to get sympathy in response to this. NO. All they’re doing is confirming the bigoted assumption that we are mostly defective people!

Folks need to keep that particular banner on the “down low.” It’s not going to do anybody any good. All it does for some people is confirm that we need to be put in a quarantine zone. FAR away from any positions of responsibility. FAR away from anything that anybody else cares about.

. . . I worry when we try to translate “therapy talk” into the real world. It does NOT translate. Not at all . . . “Therapy talk” needs to stay within therapy or only among the closest of friends. It is NOT appropriate for the outer world. It has negative consequences attached to it in the outer world.

I’ve seen folks mess themselves up by transferring “therapy talk” to the outer world. I’ve seen this a lot with substance-addicted clients. Let me repeat what I tell them:

“12 step meeting-therapy-recovery type of talk does NOT work well in the real world. It only ‘works’ among other recovering people.

Healthy people are TURNED OFF by 12 step meeting-therapy-recovery talk. They react badly to it. It makes them want to get far away from whoever is talking the recovery talk. Most healthy people feel that:

Recovery talk = dope fiend.

Recovery talk = alcoholic.

Recovery talk = extremely mentally ill person.

Recovery talk = DANGER.

Recovery talk = DANGEROUS PERSON who is a TICKING BOMB in the workplace, the business, the school, the position of responsibility, etc.

Safety = getting far away from the ‘recovery talk’ person.

Safety = getting rid of the ‘recovery talk’ person.

Bottom line—Save the ‘recovery talk’ for other recovering people.”

I’m not talking about what’s fair or correct. I’m talking about what’s real. The reality is that “recovery talk” of any kind (and for any reason) is a huge, extra, unnecessary stigma. One that we can’t afford to have publicly attached to us as AA women.

When I talk about the many soul-draining situations African-American women find themselves in, I’m not looking for sympathy or empathy for African-American women. Instead, I’m telling African-American women the reasons why they need to disconnect from certain vampiric people, places, things and ideas. I’m looking for more African-American women to live abundant, victorious lives. Period. The activist group ACT-UP had a slogan: Silence = Death. In our situation, I would say: Pity Party = Death. The sooner we get that through our heads, the better.

IT’S NOT FOREIGN BLACKS’ FAULT THAT MANY AFRICAN-AMERICANS HAVE ZERO ETHNIC SELF-RESPECT

Another part of what’s wrong with this email (from my perspective) is that the reader is looking for “answers and acceptance” from foreign Blacks. I’ll get to the “answers” portion of this in a moment. As far as the “acceptance” portion, I would strongly suggest that readers take the time to read the following previous posts:

• First Love Yourself As An African-American Woman
• Do You Have Any Loyalty To Yourself?
• Pay Attention to Nuances When Black People Say They “Don’t Understand What Black Means.”

FOREIGN BLACKS DON’T HAVE ANY ANSWERS FOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS—LOOK AT THE BLACK-RULED COUNTRIES THEY RAN AWAY FROM

Dear Reader, why in the world are you looking for “answers” from people from mostly failed countries (such as Black immigrants who ran away from their Black countries to live in the White West)? They don’t have answers for themselves. Or at least any answers beyond running to live in the White West. There are reasons why these hate-filled, immigrant Blacks you described ran away from their own Black countries to live in majority-White countries. Why do you care what these particular (Black-skinned) bigots think about African-Americans?

Do you understand that these hate-filled, foreign Black bigots you described had to beat down the doors, and in some cases risk their lives, to get into YOUR country? And to reap the benefits of YOUR birthright as an African-American?

With all due respect, your perspective is skewed. You feel powerless because you choose to feel powerless. There are literally millions of foreign Black women living in Black-ruled countries (that are hellholes) who would love to exchange places with you. And you’re sitting here talking about how you feel powerless . . . Guurl, you’re tripping. Let me repeat some things I said to an African wannabe slave master during a conversation at the previous blog,

Don’t remove continental Africans from this pathology. This pathology is a phenomenon that extends to Blacks all around the planet, including Africans.

It has always amazed me that Africans tolerate things that the Arabs never tolerate.

For example, how is it that White colonists still own all the good land in places like Zimbabwe, 30+ years after “liberation”? How is it that the same apartheid racists STILL own everything of value in South Africa? Why are these Whites still in these countries?

Why haven’t the people who should be the true owners of “South Africa” changed the city names back to African names? What’s up with all of that?

Contrast the Africans’ passive acceptance of their White oppressors’ continued presence on their land with what quickly happened in Algeria after liberation. The Algerian National Liberation Front gave the French colonists the choice of “the suitcase OR the coffin.” I would suggest that people Google this phrase. The history behind it is fascinating.

The French people could either leave on their own with their suitcases packed, OR they could leave in coffins. The French fled Algeria with a quickness after liberation.

As far as the Korean merchants taking over the beauty supply stores in African-American areas: Continental Africans are allowing Chinese merchants to do a similar thing and dominate the small shops (and commerce in general) throughout Africa. From Senegal to Angola. To all over the officially “Black” regions of the continent.

Apparently, a Senegalese journalist named Adama Gaye has written a book about this phenomenon titled “China-Africa: The Dragon and the Ostrich.”

What’s wrong with African-Americans boils down to the fact that during slavery we had our names, our ancestral languages, our cultures, the purity of our bloodlines, and finally our God ripped away from us. We’ve been totally destroyed, and then remade (via rapes by White men) into a new people.

This is NOT an excuse. This is an observation. There are other conquered people who’ve been remade by White men’s sexual conquests (“the used-to-be-Indians-they’ve-been-remade-into-mestizos” in Latin America) who have gone on to forge their own future.

Continental Africans still have their names, their ancestral languages, their lineage, and their cultures (more or less) intact. What’s their reason for continuing to submit to Europeans, Arabs, and now submitting to the Chinese?

ALL Black people across this planet have a LOT of work to do in order to free our own minds!

. . . These are very good questions. I will add that BM submit to the will of, and are servants of, ALL other men, not just WM. Whenever there is a meeting of BM and any other type of man, the BM is ALWAYS the servant of the other man.

BM in Africa are the “houseboys” of their “former” colonial masters. BM are the literal slaves of Arab men in Africa. BM in Africa are now the “houseboys” of Chinese merchants. BM are the servants of mestizo men in Latin America.

To put it bluntly, Black men across this planet are slaves. Period. By definition, a slave CANNOT, and will not try to, protect anything or anyone.

In response to your point about how Whites self-define their collective destructive behavior as “normal.” This is the winner’s privilege! The conquerors write the history, psychology, sociology books. The conquerors write ALL of the books! When Muslim societies were more technologically advanced than Europe (during Europe’s “Dark Ages”), African Muslims were among the people writing “the books.”

When we start winning as a people, then we’ll get to write the books; and make OUR definition of events “stick”! LET’S ALL GET BUSY!

. . . I DO see the crazy, self-hating things that AAs do in reference to Africa & Africans. Continental Africans have legitimate grievances about being insulted and disrespected by AAs.

However, let me bring to your attention something that I raised with another continental African: I find it quite peculiar that I’ve NEVER seen continental Africans raise the “you hate Africa and Africans due to self-hatred” observation to people who REALLY hate their African heritage with a passion: BLACK LATINOS & BLACK ARABS. These people generally won’t even identify themselves as Black!

I’m not saying that all Black Latinos & Black Arabs have this attitude. But, let’s be real. We’ve seen “how they do.” The same way other people “see how we [AAs] do.”

With the exception of some Black Brazilians (who seem extremely “into” their African heritage), the vast majority of Black Latinos & Black Arabs are examples of people who want NOTHING to do with Africa, Africans, or African heritage.

Since I’ve never seen or heard of Africans trying to “check” Black Latinos & Arabs on their self-hatred of all things African, it makes me question the motives of those Africans who come to AAs with this (accurate & true) complaint.

. . . Back to reciprocity: It was all good & all cool when AA pathologies were under discussion. But let me bring up some facts that indicate that there are similar pathologies with Africans, and suddenly it’s not so much fun anymore.

This is really telling. It says that you’re not participating in this conversation with us in good faith. It says that you’re not reciprocating the openness and honesty that the other participants have shown during this, and other discussions, at this blog. This blog is my home.

Ultimately, it says that you have no legitimate reason to be here. I’m inviting you to leave in peace.

This blog is about us providing each other with mutual support, and moving forward to a better future. “US” includes ANY BLACK WOMAN who chooses to define herself as part of “us,” including so-called “foreign”-origin Black women who stand in solidarity AND RECIPROCITY with the rest of us.

Peace and good fortune be upon you in your journeys.

Dear Reader, there’s a very old saying: “It’s not what you call me, it’s what I answer to.” Why do you let anybody, including Black immigrants, talk down to you? People generally do whatever you let them do; and take whatever liberties you let them take. To me, this isn’t about these foreign Black bigots that you’re complaining about. It’s about you. And your choice to let these people insult you. And your choice to take their insults to heart. I’m sure it gives these hateful individuals a lot of pleasure to know that you actually care what they think or say. It probably makes them feel all warm inside to know that they can hurt your feelings.

After all, confused African-Americans are the only people on this planet who allow foreign-origin Blacks to step on them. These same foreign Black bigots you described are as meek and silent as mice with everybody else on this planet. They don’t say a mumbling word to anybody except the confused African-Americans who entertain that nonsense. The continental Africans among the foreign Black bigots you described are dominated by Chinese merchants, Arab merchants, South Asian merchants and whoever else that’s not Black in their own countries. Consider this part of an NPR interview with an African writer named Adama Gaye,

BRAND: Donald Straszheim is a long-time China expert. He is currently the vice chairman for the investment banking company Roth Capital Partners here in California.

Adama Gaye feels quite differently about China’s interest in Africa. He is African and he’s written a book called “China-Africa: The Dragon and the Ostrich.” The cover of the book depicts in cartoon style a dragon blowing fire on an ostrich that represents Africa.

I asked Adama Gaye why he portrays Africa with its head in the sand?

Mr. ADAMA GAYE (Author, “China-Africa: The Dragon and the Ostrich”): That’s the posture Africa has taken over the past years. It has not faced its challenges, whereas the dragon, representing China, presents a country that has been able over the past 35 years to live up to its challenges and become one of the most powerful nations in the world.

BRAND: Do you see the dragon, China, as a malevolent force or a benevolent force?

Mr. GAYE: It can be both, but at this moment I see it as a malevolent force, because China is driving all the China-Africa relations. It is deciding everything and not allowing much room for Africa to contribute to what China presents as a win-win situation.

Ultimately, China needs Africa’s natural resources, and it is putting all its efforts and its financial might in order to secure them. I think in this situation it’s Africa that is ruling in the business.

BRAND: Do you see China as a neocolonialist force, basically doing what the European powers did in the 19th century, going into Africa, taking its resources and leaving little behind?

Mr. GAYE: I think China is doing it in a most clever way, because China is presenting its approach to Africa in a diplomatic way, saying that it has been always a friend of Africa, using the nice words, stating that it doesn’t want to harm Africa.

But I think at the end of the day, what China is doing is almost the same as what Europe did. They are buying the natural resources. They are investing in strategic sectors, and controlling things from afar.

I think if we are not careful in Africa, we will wake up one day and see that China has purchased most of the strategic things in Africa and we have nothing to do about it because that would be accepted under even the international norms, the World Trade Organization agreements, for instance. That is really bad, what is happening.

BRAND: Yet China is also giving billions of dollars in aid to African countries.

Mr. GAYE: Listen. Those billions of dollars are done, given to Africa in order to secure markets for China. Before I (unintelligible) somebody will believe that China could be a real good partner with Africa. More and more I’m suspicious about their approach.

BRAND: Adama Gaye is the author of the book, “China-Africa: The Dragon and the Ostrich.” Mr. Gaye, thank you very much for joining us.

Mr. GAYE: It’s my pleasure.

BRAND: NPR’s DAY TO DAY continues

If African (and Caribbean) cultures are oh-so-healthy, then why do they continue to allow non-Blacks to control the resources in their own countries? Just think: Fifty years after the end of colonialism, these people aren’t even the masters of their own houses . . . and you’re listening to them?

The Latino Blacks who are living in the mestizo man’s house are powerless. The same is true for the Arabized Blacks living in the Arab man’s house. The Latino and Arabized foreign Black bigots are at the very bottom of every multiracial country they inhabit in Latin America and the Arab world.

And you choose to take garbage off of these people? That’s YOUR free and voluntary choice, and you’re welcome to it. Count me out of that.

MY QUESTIONS FOR THIS CONVERSATION

Please note that I’m not going to publish comments that focus on complaining about non-African-American, Black-skinned bigots during this post. They verbally abuse African-Americans because we tolerate that abuse. My questions for this conversation are: Why do so many African-Americans look to these people for validation? What’s that about?

**Audience Note**It should be obvious that I’m only focusing on the foreign-origin, Black-skinned, anti-African-American bigots that the reader described in her email. I’m not talking about all non-African-American Blacks. Just the racist, “wannabe a slave master,” non-African-American Black bigots. The Black-skinned bigots who try to deny African-Americans the right to self-determination: the right to speak, think, and define ourselves for ourselves.

Now is a good time for this reprint from the previous blog:

OUTER SLUMS

Dirt. Noise. Chaos. These are the first three things you notice whenever you enter a slum neighborhood.

The dirt. Rundown buildings. Garbage overflowing in the streets. Broken glass on the ground. People throwing garbage down onto the ground around their feet.

The noise. How very loud everything is. The shouted conversations held with people who are standing two feet away from the speaker. Shouting and yelling for people down the street. Shouting and yelling for people across the street. Loud cell phone conversations. The ever-present loud music. Music so loud that you can feel the drumbeat vibrating in your bones.

The chaos. Unattended small children darting in and out of the street. Clusters of idle, grown men standing on street corners. Clusters of idle, grown men standing around discarded sofas and chairs in the middle of vacant lots. Entire families sitting on their front stoops during what should be normal work and school hours. Swarms of teenagers yelling and cursing while waiting at bus stops. Traffic disruptions because a driver is making frequent stops in the middle of the street to throw gang signs at pedestrians.

These are the signs of an outer slum.

INNER SLUMS

Inner slums have similar signs. Inner slums consisting of dirt, noise, and chaos exist within people’s hearts and minds. Without frequent cleaning and renovations, your inner environment will quickly turn into an inner slum. A slum that you carry around with you.

When you don’t refresh and renew your mind you will find that no matter where you go in life, The World is a Ghetto.

The prevalence of inner slums is one of the reasons why Black folks are in such a sorry state. Yes, there are external problems and opponents. However, these external obstacles are so successful in slowing our roll because of our internal weaknesses. We generally refuse to address inner weaknesses. We fear introspection. We fear silence.

Even those people who actually want to renew their minds face hidden problems with their efforts. One such problem is that it’s impossible to renew your mind in the midst of noise pollution. Noise pollution is a slum value. When I say “slum value,” I’m not referring to income levels. I’ve seen many Black professionals who live slum lifestyles with slum values. I’ve seen many poor Black folks who do not live with slum values. Noise pollution is so prevalent that most of us perceive it as normal. This is what makes it a hidden problem. We can’t hear how noisy our living spaces are. Silence has become an aberration for most Black people. What we fail to realize is that silence is part of the internal cleansing and renewal process. Periods of silence take you out of your daily routine. Silence forces you to take a fresh look at yourself and your surroundings. I believe that this is why most Black people are deeply afraid of silence.

THE POISONOUS FRUIT OF USING TELEVISION AS A BABYSITTER

Noise pollution is a slum value whose origin is often found in another slum value: Using the television as a babysitter. Many people in my age group (40s) were among the first generation of Black children who were raised by being propped in front of the tv for hours at a time. Many of us have raised our own children in the same fashion. And so the cycle repeats, and becomes accepted as normal.

As a result, there are now several generations of Black people who live with the television on 24 hours a day, every single day. The tv is never turned off while people are inside the home. People will often have the tv and loud music playing simultaneously. In many modern Black households, conversations are shouted over the din of the tv and music. Meals are eaten around the tv.

We often say that Black people need to turn off the tv and read. This is true. What we don’t realize is that many of us simply can’t do this. Many of us are literally addicted to noise. I’ve watched small Black children immediately turn on the tv the moment they enter a room, even though they have no intention of watching it. I’ve watched Black adults do this as well. They’ve been conditioned to be ill at ease with silence. Most of us are deeply afraid of silence.

There’s a difference between noise addiction and a purposeful use of noise. There is purpose in using these distractions to pass the time in an unpleasant setting (such as sitting in the auto repair shop, etc.). There is purpose in using the tv, radio, and phone to keep oneself company when alone; although it’s better to seek out actual company.

There’s also a difference between cleansing silence and other uses of silence. Sometimes silence is used as a barricade to keep other people out of our lives and our hearts. Sometimes silence is used as a weapon to punish the people closest to us. This is not the kind of silence that I’m suggesting you practice. I’m also not suggesting that people go “cold turkey” and abruptly turn off their tvs, computers, radios, and iPods. That’s just too big a step for most people who are deeply conditioned to living in noise. I’m suggesting that we use daily moments of silence to refresh our perceptions, and thereby refresh our minds. For example, why not:

Observe one minute of silence and stillness at various points during the day. A minute of silence before beginning your work. A minute before going to bed. A minute of silence wherever you can fit it in.

Create a quiet room or space in your home (to whatever extent this is possible).

I’d like to hear about your experiences with silence. Did you enjoy the experience? Was any part of it difficult? How do you feel about silence?

Considering how many diabetics and pre-diabetics (including people who don’t know they are pre-diabetic) there are among African-Americans, I felt the need to mention this article from New Scientist, which states:

Just half a teaspoon of cinnamon a day significantly reduces blood sugar levels in diabetics, a new study has found. The effect, which can be produced even by soaking a cinnamon stick your tea, could also benefit millions of non-diabetics who have blood sugar problem but are unaware of it.

The discovery was initially made by accident, by Richard Anderson at the US Department of Agriculture’s Human Nutrition Research Center in Beltsville, Maryland.

. . . Sugars and starches in food are broken down into glucose, which then circulates in the blood. The hormone insulin makes cells take in the glucose, to be used for energy or made into fat.

But people with Type 1 diabetes do not produce enough insulin. Those with Type 2 diabetes produce it, but have lost sensitivity to it. Even apparently healthy people, especially if they are overweight, sedentary or over 25, lose sensitivity to insulin. Having too much glucose in the blood can cause serious long-term damage to eyes, kidneys, nerves and other organs.

. . . The active ingredient in cinnamon turned out to be a water-soluble polyphenol compound called MHCP. In test tube experiments, MHCP mimics insulin, activates its receptor, and works synergistically with insulin in cells.

To see if it would work in people, Alam Khan, who was a postdoctoral fellow in Anderson’s lab, organised a study in Pakistan. Volunteers with Type 2 diabetes were given one, three or six grams of cinnamon powder a day, in capsules after meals.

All responded within weeks, with blood sugar levels that were on average 20 per cent lower than a control group. Some even achieved normal blood sugar levels. Tellingly, blood sugar started creeping up again after the diabetics stopped taking cinnamon.

The cinnamon has additional benefits. In the volunteers, it lowered blood levels of fats and “bad” cholesterol, which are also partly controlled by insulin. And in test tube experiments it neutralised free radicals, damaging chemicals which are elevated in diabetics.

I recently found out about this connection between cinnamon and lowered blood sugar from reading this post and this post from The Paleo Diet blog by Gary Rea. The blog is a fascinating, detailed paleo diet diary “by a fifty-something man with type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and high triglycerides.” I appreciate the fact that he gives specifics about his various metabolic readings. It’s well worth taking the time to read through his entries. In his final blog entry, he states,

Today marks day 365 of my paleo diet experience, one that has changed my life for the better in so many ways. In the year I’ve been eating a paleolithic diet of meats, fruits and vegetables (no grains, no dairy, no processed foods) my weight has dropped from 233 lbs to the 160 lbs I find myself at this morning. That’s down a pound from last weekend, and it appears my weight will fluctuate in that range; i.e., right around 160 lbs, plus or minus, as long as I continue to eat this way (and why would I not?).

. . . Furthermore, a year ago, I had just been diagnosed by my doctor as a type 2 diabetic, with a blood sugar reading of 218 ml/dcl. As of seven months ago, I was no longer diabetic and this morning I’m at a normal reading of 104 ml/dcl, though my readings have been lower than this. I could get more exercise than I have been, or increase my use of cinnamon and get it back down into the 90s or 80s very easily.

. . . Finally, a year ago, my blood pressure was somewhere around 180/90 and this morning it’s at a normal 115/72.

So, once again, I am living proof that the paleolithic diet works and works very well for weight loss, weight control, elimination of type 2 diabetes, correction of high blood pressure and high triglycerides, and the restoration of one’s natural health. Today, aside from a little more gray and a little less hair, I look and feel pretty much as I did when I was in my thirties – except that I have more lean muscle mass, less body fat and, oh yeah – I’m 56 years old.

So, the bottom line is, if you are obese, have type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high triglycerides and other health problems that are the result of the diet you’ve been eating, the paleo diet can and will do for you what it has done for me – if you just give it a chance to.

. . . I’m leaving this blog here, as it is, for the benefit of all who wish to change their lives with the paleolithic diet, as I have. May you benefit from my experience and from the knowledge I’ve gained. Thank you for reading.

Thank you, Mr. Rea, for so generously sharing your experiences!

AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN ARE THE ONLY ONES WORRIED ABOUT “FIGHTING THE POWER.” THIS HASN’T WORKED OUT VERY WELL FOR US.

Welcome to the second installment of what will be an ongoing You Betta Recognize series of posts. The first installment was an earlier post explaining why those African-American women who want to survive and thrive need to delete the phrase “fighting White hegemony” from their vocabulary. As I said there,

White hegemony is currently feeding all African-Americans. To put it bluntly, White people feed all of us. Directly or indirectly. We need to stop “tripping” about that. Very few African-Americans have ever been serious about building the infrastructure needed in order to be a self-sufficient people. Only marginalized groups among us like the Nation of Islam went so far as to actually cultivate farm land, and create grocery stores and restaurants to feed African-Americans.

Nobody except African-American women is sacrificing anything in order to “fight” White hegemony. Including the Black men who flap their lips talking about White hegemony. Many of the Black men talking that stuff are busy dating, sexing and marrying the so-called “evil White man’s” daughters. These men are busy transferring whatever wealth they can accumulate back to the so-called “evil White man” through his daughter. If not the so-called “evil White man’s” daughters, then these Black men talking that stuff are looking to transfer whatever wealth they get to other types of non-Black women.

No other race or ethnic group of women are even worrying about “fighting White hegemony,” except African-American women. When you’re the only one doing something, that’s usually a clue that whatever you’re doing is a bad idea. Other women, including other types of Black women from around the world, are too busy making sure that they (directly or indirectly) get a slice from the current, status quo “White hegemony pie” by marrying whichever man will bring the most to their table. Including qualified White men.

I would suggest that anyone who’s conflicted or confused about the idea of dropping this phrase from their mind consider the following observations I made about activist Black women’s lifestyles during this post.

For Black men, political activism is a vehicle for getting their personal needs met—a source of getting paid and getting laid. Much like the ministry. All on their terms. For example, has Rev. Jesse Jackson ever worked at a job?

Think about the roster of married Black male activists who were promiscuous womanizers such as Dr. King, Elijah Muhammad, and so on. These men had the pleasures of a home life with a wife sitting at home waiting for them, and plentiful sex on the side with female groupies. Think about the single Black male activists who were promiscuous womanizers such the Panthers and others who had a steady, non-stop supply of female groupies they were having sex with. On top of this, Black male activists are typically treated as celebrities and showered with adulation. For Black men, activism is often a vehicle for fulfilling their (financial) safety and belongingness and love needs (intimacy of all sorts, including sexual intimacy).

In short, Black male activists routinely get their personal needs met. Every. Step. Of. The. Way. Meanwhile, activism does not provide the same perks for Black women who are working as hard and facing the same pressures and dangers.

ACTIVISM DOES NOT PROVIDE SIMILAR “ROCK STAR” PERKS FOR BLACK WOMEN ACTIVISTS—NOR DOES IT DO ANYTHING TO MEET THEIR BASIC PERSONAL NEEDS

Activism does not provide the same perks for Black women. While it may provide higher-level needs for women, it generally won’t do anything to provide the foundational second and third-level needs.

While keeping the hierarchy of needs in mind, I invite you to do what we rarely do: Consider some of the inner lives of the crusading, activist African-American women that we hold up as Black History Month heroines. If your thinking is similar to mine, you won’t be pleased by much of what you see. I’ll just name a couple of examples. Dorothy Height has never married. Mary McLeod Bethune separated from her husband (who died in 1918). She never remarried, and she passed away in 1955. These women came of age during an era when marriage was the norm for Black women and readily available within the African-American collective. Who, if anybody, did these women come home to for all those decades?

Consider the personal horrors of being married to a Black male activist like Dr. King. He was often away from home. Coretta Scott King was also in great physical danger—and living alone for long stretches of time with their children. She was responsible for holding down the fort, and child care while he was away. If she was faithful in her marriage, that meant she went through long stretches of not having sex while he was away. Meanwhile, Dr. King was having sex with his women on the side. I won’t even mention the female Black Power activists who apparently served as “booty calls” (and worse) for male Black Power activists.

For Black women, activism does not provide the perks it often provides for Black men. No free money. No husband to remain faithful to you while you sleep around with other men. No adoring harem of male groupies. The only woman I can think of that “had it like that” was a White author named Ayn Rand. Apparently for a number of Black women, crusading activism was a dead-end leading to an asexual, ascetic lifestyle. Who wants that, except a nun?

From what I can tell, one of the relatively few “Black History Month Heroines” that appears to have been involved in activism while also making sure to get her personal needs met (the way she wanted) was Lorraine Hansberry. She was a bisexual or lesbian who married (either out of genuine love for her White husband, or to use him as a voluntary or involuntary cover story), while still dating and sleeping with women.

Dorothy Height has passed away (at age 98) since I wrote that post. She never married.

WHITE MALE-DOMINATED LAW ENFORCEMENT IS ONE OF THE POWERS THAT AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN CALL THEMSELVES FIGHTING. FOR OUR OWN SURVIVAL, WE NEED TO RETHINK THAT.

Halima, blog host of Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle, graciously gave me permssion to quote the comment that a reader made during a recent conversation at her blog.

Icon said…
“Ungrateful American BW need to be thanking their lucky stars that the White man keeps Black men in control. B/C where there is no white male rule the Black men are running crazy and the poor BW and their kids who have to live near and with them are experiencing EXTREME suffering.” [Khadija speaking: Icon is quoting this statement from another reader in the same thread.]

A tough pill to swallow, but a necessary pill to swallow nonetheless. If NOT for the white cops and prison system in America, where I’m from, there’d be total anarchy, public rape, shooting for not responding to harassment and/or “punishment by gang rape” etc., if black men were allowed to actually FULLY control and operate black American neighborhoods. If black men could, we’d have precisely the same “community” as the Congo and South Africa where repeated rape of everyone from infants to old women running rampant, drug wars and shoot outs by militias CONSTANTLY (where now, as soon as a shoot out occurs, someone calls the cops and it’s squashed), etc.

I agree, we are EXTREMELY privileged as People of African Descent in Predominately White Countries (PODnPWC will be my henceforth abbreviation ). And every black woman that walks around hating white men and defending black men should know exactly what our circumstances would be if not for WM laws keeping black men in check. It is, truly, a hard pill to swallow.

Icon is absolutely correct. It’s very similar to the bitter reality of what women’s lives are like in Muslim-dominated countries. I’ve never been silly enough to want to live in a Muslim country.

WE’VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WHITE MALE-DOMINATED LAW ENFORCEMENT PULLS BACK FROM POLICING AFRICAN-AMERICAN RESIDENTIAL AREAS: DUNBAR VILLAGE.

We know what happens when White male-dominated law enforcement pulls back from policing Black residential areas in the US. Dunbar Village. Rowan Towers. We also know that many (if not most) African-Americans (of both genders) are indifferent to these sorts of atrocities, as long as it’s not happening to them personally.

A SIMILAR, SYSTEMATIC PATTERN OF ATROCITIES AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS HAPPENS IN BLACK-LED COUNTRIES.

It’s not a coincidence that so many of the countries listed as the 10 worst places in the world to live if you are a woman are Black countries. I’m not surprised by the list. The same way I wasn’t surprised to read this news story about the need for women-only food coupons because young Haitian men were stealing the food aid. The same way I wasn’t surprised to later read this report about how Haitian men are busy raping women in the camps for people who were displaced by the earthquake several months ago.

In fairness, men do this sort of thing in disaster situations throughout the world (seize the aid meant for starving women and children). Black men are not alone in attacking women and girls. What’s unique about the Black world is the total absence of a countervailing set of male protectors. Including the total absence of flawed male protectors who, even though they are basically predatory, still protect and provide for the women and children within their particular fiefdoms.

In other places like Afghanistan and so on, there are often male counterweights to the male thieves. Such as imams, sheiks, and the tribal warlords who also steal the food aid. But these other types of men (while also stealing the food aid for themselves) typically make sure that the women and children within their fiefdoms eat!

RECOGNIZE THAT AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN HAVE NO ORGANIZED MALE PROTECTORS OTHER THAN WHITE MALE-DOMINATED LAW ENFORCEMENT.

With the limited exception of the Nation of Islam, there generally are no organized group of male protectors within Black residential neighborhoods. The masses of African-American men assume no responsibility whatsoever for protecting the women and children in their neighborhoods. That’s why deeply confused African-American women, such as the Deborah movement in Chicago try to take on the male duty of protecting Black residential areas. White male-dominated law enforcement is the only thing currently standing between the Black women and girls who live in Black neighborhoods and mass rape. More African-American women need to remember that before having knee-jerk anti-police reactions.